Does Your Husband Know?
by she lives in a daydream
Summary: And does your husband know the way that the sunshine gleams from your wedding band? Does he know the way of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night? Does he know the way to worship our love? /All human. RxD.
1. On The First Page

_Okay, wow. This is a story that's been plaguing my mind for the last couple of months, and I've switched the fandom it's supposed to be in countless of times. Needless to say, it was going to be in Psych, and then finally weaved its way into Vampire Academy. First off, I need to say that I'm taking a big risk by doing this - Ash and chapter stories don't exactly work out too well. You see, I get busy really easily, and things sort of left ... unattended. I promise, however, that I will not let this happen. This story has been bugging me for months, and I need to finish it to satisfy the monster in me._

_Now, I want all of you to waltz right over to YouTube and look up "Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet" by Fall Out Boy. Every chapter, I will suggest a song that fits the chapter; usually, the song is my inspiration. By doing this, I hope you'll be able to get a better understanding of where everything is coming from. And that song? That song unleashed the beast that is story. (I also just have an awesome taste in music and just wanted you all to know that.) Do I have a huge ego? Perhaps. ;)_

_Another thing is that this an AU, all human story. Because this is AU and all human, things will be different - they will be OOC, and I am completely aware of that. They're written that way for a reason (mainly so I can fuck with them even more ... but that's besides the point.) I have also altered the age difference between Rose and Dimitri; instead of seven, it's only four. While I love the seven year age gap, as I started writing the story, I was having a hard time with it, and thus, altered it to four years. Also, as the story progresses, it's won't really be that noticeable. (:_

_... Damn. I apologize for my ridiculously long AN. I have a tendency to ramble, especially when it comes down to ANs. I feel like I have all this important stuff to say regarding the story, and truth be told, it's really ... Not. Oh well. Now, read onnn. That's what you're here for, isn't it?_

**Disclaimer: **I, Ashleigh, swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The truth? I don't own the characters in _Vampire Academy_. What I do own is the whole series, completely battered and abused from the reading, this laptop, and Dimitri's duster. Please ignore the muffling you hear coming from my closet. **No copyright infringement is intended. All rights reserved. ©;**

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><p><strong>Does Your Husband Know?<br>**_**she lives in a daydream  
><strong>_

Today was boring. No, boring is too nice of a word – it was downright _boring_. Okay, I have no creative alternative for the word 'boring' – but if you could give me one, please, let me know. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. It was another day at the office – another day we were we were just chasing theories. Nothing was ever solid anymore. _Hello, you've reached the Missoula Police Department. My name is Rose Hathaway, how may I help you? _It was the usual "I have a tip about the man you're looking for" and a tip that lead us finding nothing.

I hated days like these.

"Hathaway! What are you doing? Shouldn't you be filing a report?" I looked up and snorted. It was only natural for Eddie, a fairly good friend of mine, to give me shit about something I was supposed to be doing. I didn't like writing reports – never had, never will. For the past two years, I actually _had _never written reports … my partner did wrote them. My heart tugged at the thought of my partner, who had died in a violent car crash just three months ago. I smiled.

"What I should be doing is sitting at home on my couch, drinking an ice cold beer. Can't always have what we want. Chief can calm her ass, anyways. She knows she's going to be the one hounding me to write my report. Since when are you her little lapdog? I know you're begging for a promotion, but don't stoop down to his level! I'm disappointed in you, Edison." I could see it in his eyes when I mentioned the lack of my writing reports; he knew exactly what I was referring to, since my previous partner had been his best friend since grade school.

"Don't kill the messenger. And drinking an ice cold beer? That sounds like a great idea. Don't be surprised if you wake up in the morning and see me passed out on your kitchen floor. I might just stop by after my shift to in on some of that action." I rolled my eyes, swatting his arm. The grin on his face was hilarious, especially considering that he came over to my place often. It had been a habit after Mason … He needed comfort, and so did I.

"I'll be expecting that. Now, don't you have a pretty blonde receptionist to harass?" Eddie stopped, the look on his face falling. Eddie had instantly regretted telling me about his crush on the new receptionist, Mia. It had been hilarious, especially since he had been drunk. "Don't give me that look. It's not my fault you decided to go and declare your love for her when you were drunk." Eddie glared at me before he turned off on his heels back to his desk. "Denial's the first step towards acceptance, Edison!" I yelled after him, a smirk on my face.

"Shut your mouth, Hathaway!" He retorted. "And wipe that smirk off your face. Just wait until I get you back. It'll be a glorious day." Eddie had stopped and turned around to face me. "Oh, Rose, one more thing." He flipped me off.

That son of a bitch.

"You mother-fucker. Go back to your blonde Barbie doll. She misses you." Eddie flipped me off again, and I smiled in return before I looked down at my paper. The stupid report. Ugh. This was bullshit. I _liked _working without a partner, but there were things I missed, such as them writing a report. I took a deep breath; this was still hard on me, even if it had been three months since Mason had died.

Truly, it had been an accident – that's what they called them car accidents, right? He had been driving home from work, and a drunk driver had come out of nowhere, smashing in the driver's side. Mason had been killed almost instantly; for his head had smashed so hard into the stick shift … It had been brutal. I still could recall the gory details in my mind, and that was almost the worst part. The worst part had been that he was coming to see _me_. He was coming to my house so we could work on finishing up our final report for the chief.

I took a deep breath. It was still painful. The therapist had said that it wasn't going to go away anytime soon. At first, the bitch had suggested another partner for me, but that was where I put my foot down. After Mason, I refused to have another partner. I could work independently, and it would be better for me if I started writing my own damn reports. Truth be told, I did think that everything was better. I was able to think for myself and not have to worry about another person's life. This was so much easier, and it was a lot more _me_. But, regardless of how I felt, I missed having that interaction with another person. Working alone was … well, boring.

"Hathaway, could you step into my office for a moment?" Shit. I turned up from the blank report, and stared right at the Chief. Alberta was a nice person and had seriously earned her spot as the Chief, but her voice made me uneasy. What had I done this time? I recalled my last few cases, and pushed my brows together. I couldn't have done something wrong…. could I have? No, that wasn't possible. I gave her a quick nod. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Eddie had flashed me a smile. Once the Chief had turned around, I flipped him off and made my way towards her office.

The space was small, only slightly bigger than the desk that most of us housed in the department. It definitely had an 'Alberta' feel to it. It was nice – homey – even, but indicated a 'don't you ever fuck with me' mood. Alberta was someone I respected dearly; she had been the officer I had trained with before she had been promoted, leaving me with Mason.

Just as my mind started to wander off on a different tangent, I noticed that there was another person in the room. That was careless of me not to notice him right away, and I mentally scolded myself. I couldn't see how tall he really was, for he was sitting down, but my guess was that he had to be around 6'6, perhaps 6'7, and _damn_, he looked good from behind. Alberta distracted my thoughts, gesturing towards the seat next to the unfamiliar man. I paused for a moment: was he from Internal Affairs? What the hell had I done wrong?

"You didn't do anything wrong, Rose." Dammit. I hated it when she did that. That's what made her such a good Chief. "Please, have a seat." I finally complied, not looking at the man next to me – although I could tell he was looking at me. I waited a few more moments, and Alberta finally spoke. "I know that everything has been hard on you for the past three months, considering the terrible and unfortunate events with Mason…." I stopped breathing. _Calm yourself_. "I do know that in the beginning, we talked about you working by yourself in the field …" Alberta paused, and I raised my eyebrows. Was she questioning my efficacy?

"And while you've done an excellent job, we just feel that it will help with your … coping." That was phrased nicely – I'd give her that. She turned to the strange man next to me, and then looked back at me. "Rose, I would like you to meet Dimitri Belikov. He's a transfer over from Seattle, and he's going to be your new partner." I couldn't say anything; I was speechless. What the hell. Alberta smiled at me, knowing exactly what I would say. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go speak with another office." She stood up. "Hathaway, don't start with the ranting. It'll be good for you."

Bitch.

"And, I will hound your ass until you had in that report. You have until five tomorrow."

With that, she left. The man next to me shifted his position, and I finally turned and looked at him. He looked even better from the front. He had long, brown hair that was currently pulled back into a ponytail, and brown eyes. Suddenly, the wedding ring on my hand felt ten pounds heavier. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Officer Hathaway." There was a light accent to his voice, and my stomach did a backflip. This was ridiculous; I was married, for Christ's sake.

Married. That word was heavy in my thoughts. It hadn't been like that until sometime in the beginning of the year, when our time together began to be infrequent. I shoved that thought out of my head, refusing to think about my problems at home. I was at work, and that was at home. It was for a different time. As for right now, I had to entertain this new partner of mine.

"If you ever call me 'Officer Hathaway' again, I will kill you. Since we're going to be stuck together, we might as well be on a first name bases. I'm Rose," I was really trying to be nice to him, but it was … hard. Working independently had worked well for me. "There are two things you need to know about me before we even try to become an office couple: I like chocolate doughnuts and so help me God if you take them, I will cut your balls off. Two: I don't like writing reports. Reports are stupid and unneeded, and the only way you can make me write one is by sheer force. Got that, Comrade?" His accent was easy to pick up on, especially considering how his name was _Dimitri. _

Dimitri chuckled. I couldn't tell if he was amused or annoyed. He stood up, and I followed the suit – dammit, this guy was _tall_. "I don't think that will be a problem. I myself prefer the glazed doughnuts, and having to write up the report was what I did in Seattle. Although, my last partner didn't call me 'Comrade'." From the sound of his voice, he didn't like the nickname, but I merely shrugged.

"It's either 'Comrade' or 'Soviet'. You're Russian, and therefore, you will be the constant subject of my endless Soviet jokes. Let's make that rule number three: don't argue with what I say, for you will only lose. I always win." It was easy to speak around him, almost – and if not just as – easy as it had been to speak around Mason. Dimitri shook his head, and I knew that he was fully aware of the endless jokes that were coming. At least I could feel myself starting to like this guy.

"There we go, Comrade. See, you're starting to get the hang of it." I was intrigued at how he kept his face so still; he was hard to read, I would give him that. I liked to consider myself a good reader at people's body language, but that clearly wasn't the case with Dimitri. That was probably the Russian in him. Near the end, he finally cracked a smile.

"I think I like Comrade a lot better than Soviet." I could still see the grimace on his face as he told me that. I smiled up at him - this was going to be an easy partnership, I could just feel it. I was thankful for that, too – I had been terrified that they were going to put me with someone who I could not stand. Then that would have been hell for the department…. But I was pretty sure that Alberta knew that.

"That's good. With that being said, I think you and I are going to get along just fine."

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><p><em>Hi. I like you. (:<em>


	2. The Air Went Out

_So, first off, I love you guys. I really, really, really do. You guys are all super awesome (just like me! ;D). I told you I'd update Friday~ Er... Okay, it's currently 12.30 am Alaska time, and therefor, it makes it Saturday, but dammit, I haven't gone to bed, and therefor, it's still Friday._

_This is a long chapter. Actually, my chapters are usually about 3500+ words. Expect that from now on. It's actually why I take so long to update. I spend way too much time on my stories; it's almost ridiculous. Even for English, I spend like four hours just writing a story when ten vocabulary words in it. Do I have no life? Perhaps. But that fact is completely irrelevant._

_This is also kind of a filler chapter. I was going to do a prologue, but prologues sort of bug me. I promise you the next chapter is where the ball starts rolling. I have it all planned out (which never happens. Yeah, this story is a beast.) As painful as they can be, filler chapters are needed for every story. At least it has some amazing interactions between Rose and Dimitri. Oh, and Google Translator saved my life. I don't really know how to get it so it's the pronunciation, and not the actual Russian words ... but whatever. Translations provided on the bottom._

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><p><strong>chapter two; "the air went out"<strong>_  
>eight months later.<em>

"And just what are you so angry at, Comrade?" I shoved my partner in the arm, waiting to see if he would respond to it. Naturally, he only shrugged it off, and moved back to the report I had asked (more like forced) him to write. I waited a few more moments to see if he'd said anything regarding my question, but he said nothing. I frowned, and leaned my body over her desk, enough that my long hair would land on top of the report.

"Comrade, what gives?" I understood that the case had been hard for the both of us (children always were), but he usually had some smart-ass comment to my questions. They were a natural response I had gotten from him, and it made me worry when he didn't respond. Something was bugging him.

"Ignoring your partner is a sin." He finally looked up, his face unreadable. I could only detect that there as a gleam of something – regret, perhaps? – in his eyes. "There we go." My heart tugged when I looked at his face. I could not tell what his problem was to save my life, but I knew that it had _something _to do with the case. Not that I could blame him, of course – the case had been brutal. Children and sexual abuse – rape, for lack of a better word, were never pretty. For the both of us, children were a weak spot. Why would you ever do something like that to a child? "You _can_ talk to me. I know that I can be incredibly intimidating to people, but I'm not _that _bad."

Dimitri leaned back in his chair, and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm tired." Tired? Fucking really? That was why he was acting like this? I shook my head. That was bullshit, and I knew it. I kept my focus on him, staring him down. I knew I was going to lose this staring contest, but it was always fun to try.

"Bullshit."

He gave me a soft smile. "I'm being serious. I-" He paused, as if he was searching for the right word. My comrade didn't look to comfortable trying to explain his current situation. Dimitri had never really been one to express his opinions, and this was only natural … As for me, I liked to show my emotions kicking and screaming – as long as it didn't involve crying. That was for my solitary times. Still, it was aggravating that he wouldn't let me in. I understood that we were only eight months into our wonderful friendship, but I was his _partner_. He was going to be stuck with me until he either left, died, or got promoted – and vice versa with me. "I couldn't sleep."

Well, that caused me to raise an eyebrow. "As in, 'I had a lot of sex with this one girl last night and I can't sleep because I was up with this girl until five am' or 'I just seriously couldn't sleep' sleep?" I smirked. It was easy talking about a causal sex life with him, simply because I was married to someone.

However, that didn't stop that little twinge of unexplainable jealously I felt whenever I learned these things out. It was slightly wrong to hear about my partners sex life … but that didn't explain the jealously. Why was I jealous? Partner. Partner. Nothing more, dammit. I looked back into his eyes, and noticed that he was glaring at me. I just flashed him a big smile.

"As in 'I just couldn't sleep' type of sleep. It was just one of those nights. I don't really know how to explain it." Obviously there was something he wasn't telling me, but I decided not to push the matter further. "Besides, I wouldn't tell you if it was the other one. Why are you so fascinated with my sex life?" His tone was playful, but that didn't help the blush that spread across my face.

What the hell? He was just kidding, and I was blushing. What the hell was I doing blushing? I sat back down, muttering something to myself about needing a cup of coffee, or something similar to that nature. To be quite honest, I really had no idea what I was mumbling about – all I knew was that I was just trying to change the subject.

"Вы симпатичны, когда Вы краснеете," He rambled in Russian. I felt my stomach turn, listening to him speak his native language. Up until this point, I never had a desire to learn a foreign language … but Russia sounded so damn sexy now that it was appealing. It didn't help that the way the words formed on his mouth increased his sex appeal.

"Dude, English. This is America, and we speak English as our native language here." _But please, continue speaking Russian because it's fucking sexy and I want to jump your bones right now. _"What did you say, anyways? Is it some insult? I bet it is. You need to teach me some Russian swear words, by the way. Then I can actually swear at others without getting into trouble." He only shook his head, entertained by my questions. He held up his pencil and pointed it at me.

"American's also speak Spanish, Filipino, Native American, German and French. You also speak with horrid accents if you come from the east coast. Being bilingual is a talent – one that you're obviously jealous about. And no, Roza, it's not an insult. If it was an insult, I'd tell you in English – I love watching your face reactions when someone insults you. That's worth me insulting you in English." He smiled, and I stuck my tongue out at him. It was amazing that I was twenty five. "And no, I will not teach you how to swear in Russian. You already have a sailor's mouth as it is, and you don't need to learn how to tell Eddie to 'fuck off' in Russian."

"Hey now. Telling Eddie to fuck off in Russian would be great. Then he couldn't come up with a comeback, and I would win." He snorted and shook his head, sliding the report over towards the edge of his desk, boarding on mine. It took me a minute to process the fact that he called me 'Roza', which was my name in Russian. He also called me that when he was concerned or being affectionate … So why had he called me that? It clearly had to do with something he said. Dammit. I made a mental note to ask Lissa what it could possibly mean; she had taken Russian in high school.

"No, it wouldn't. You need to learn to lose _sometime_. It helps deflate that huge ego of yours." This earned a glare. "Sign on the dotted line, Rose. Then you can get your ass out of the chair and go hand my pride and glory into the Chief." I rolled my eyes. Pride and glory? It was a damn report; a piece of paper that could be burned with the lighter in my pocket. I rolled my eyes and took the pencil from him, signing on the dotted line. By signing the report, it stated that everything he said was true, and that I had been on the scene as well. At least it was better than writing the stupid thing.

"Pride and glory?" I stood up. He merely nodded, flashing me a bright smile. He raised his hands, ushering me to go on and hand in the report. I flipped him the bird. Shaking his head, he muttered something in Russian – something that I couldn't hear. "What was that, Soviet?" I hadn't used 'Soviet' as a nickname in awhile. It was clearly time to use it.

"That's why I'm not teaching you to swear in Russian. Find a language I don't know, learn how to swear in that language, and then we'll be even." There was a certain twinkle in his eye. "Now, Прекратите останавливаться, переместите вашу задницу, и пойдите поворот в том проклятом сообщении." My eyes widened at him.

"What the _fuck _does that mean? You want me to go turn in the report, and you're telling me shit in Russian. That's just cruel." I pouted, knowing very well that I would win this one. Dimitri sighed.

"It means stop stalling, move your ass, and go turn in that damn report. I'm counting down the time until you return. You take under five minutes and I'm eating that chocolate doughnut." He would not. There's no way. He had seen what I had done to Eddie a few days previously, when the bastard took my doughnut. Needless to say, Eddie was never going to try and take my doughnut again.

"You bitch. You wouldn't. I told you what comes with that; I'll make you less of a man, not that it requires much."

"Once again, you're stalling. Besides, you know that I will, so don't even try to stop me. You know I could beat you in a fight. The bruise on your stomach is enough to prove that." And there was that playful tone again, coming out from a deep hole. Dimitri was referring to the bruise next to the left side of my bellybutton. It still hurt to touch it, actually. We had been sparring … and he kicked me.

Hard.

Bastard.

I turned on my heels, and was making my way towards the office when he blocked my way. I hadn't even realized he had gotten up from his seat. There was that glint in his eyes, and I couldn't tell what it was – but it was enough to keep me mesmerized. He held his hand out to stop me, and I almost ran right into him. My heart rate was increasing, and I didn't know why. The soft smile on his face still lingered, and my stomach muscles clenched.

"And Roza." It wasn't a question. My partner pulled a strand of hair away from my face. _What the hell is he doing? Does he not see the wedding ring on my hand? Is he trying to make me confused? What the hell is he doing? This is bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Stop it. Stop it. _"I can show you just how much of a man I really am." _Oh. My. God. Oh my fucking God. What are you doing?_

I could barely breathe.

Before I could say something, the blush crept up on my face again. I was left completely and utterly speechless, having no idea what to say to that. How could I say something to that? Did he not see the wedding ring on my finger? And why the hell was this blush showing up on my face? I couldn't even look at him. I kept my head down low and walked in the opposite direction of the Chief's office, making my way towards the outside. Clearly, my brain wasn't processing anything because I had stepped outside at the end of _December _in fucking _Missoula, Montana_. Not a smart move, on my part. But at least the air was fresh and I could (barely) breathe.

The scene outside was beautiful. It was around eleven o'clock at night, and the police station was right in the middle of downtown. Downtown was filled with Christmas lights (as it was in two days), and the general Christmas decorations were simply amazing. I wasn't exactly the type of person for 'touchy-feely' holidays, but my best friend, Lissa certainly was. I blamed her hormones for allowing me to enjoy Christmas time. She was seven months pregnant and waiting for her boyfriend to pop the question. Yeah, it was all of her hormones. It was nice to have an excuse for something.

An excuse. I snorted. That's exactly what I was looking for. An excuse for me to not be worrying about my partner's 'sexual conquests' and advances - it was a joke; it had all been a joke. So why the hell was it bugging me so much? I swore, and closed my eyes. Peace and silence, that's what I needed. I had been working since five in the morning and was damn tired. Yeah … That was it. It was making sense now; I was tired and because I was so damn tired, they were making my emotions go haywire. A smile played on my lips as I opened my eyes. Finally, I could breathe properly again.

_You know you love me, you know you care. You shout whenever, and I'll be there. You want my love, you want my heart, and we will never ever be apart. _I grimaced, annoyed by the ringtone that my husband had set for me. It was a joke, putting the Justin Bieber song on there. It wasn't even a joke – it was almost abuse. Why hadn't I bothered to change it? That's right - I had been way too damn lazy. Taking a deep breath, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and softly smiled as I pulled it up to my ear.

_"Babe, it's eleven o'clock at night, and you're not home. You've been at work since five. I'm starting to get jealous of your office husband; he sees you more than I do." _My hands clenched. It was almost ironic that he was telling me that, because his own job as a lawyer didn't exactly allow me to see him as much as I would have liked. To each it's own. I laughed lightly in response.

"I know. We're _finally_ just finishing up the case. I'm actually going to turn the report into the office in like … five seconds." The report had become crumbled under my hand. Shit. How was I going to explain that? "I should be home after that."

_"Good. It'll be a night to remember. Besides, Lissa's been bugging me about Christmas shopping, and I really don't know how to put 'I don't want to go Christmas shopping with you' nicely. What is it with you guys and shopping?"_ I shrugged, even if Adrian couldn't see me. He knew that I hated shopping as much as he did. _"But, speaking of shopping, I'm slightly hurt that I haven't seen anything regarding _my _Christmas gift." _I could just picture him wiggling his eyebrows at the other end of the line.

"Are you stalking the credit card charges to see if I went to Victoria's Secret? That hurts, Adrian." I dropped my voice. "And who said anything about it being something new? You're going to ruin my surprise for you. It included me and a bow." I was just going to let my husband's imagination go on from there. He had a wild imagination, and was surely going to let that one go off on a completely different tangent. However, that didn't bother me - he was my husband, after all. I took another deep breath.

"_I like the sound of that. Can we move that to tonight instead of Christmas? I've been a good boy. I don't think I deserve to wait that long_." I could see the shit-eating grin on his face, even on the other side of the town. And as tired as I was, sex actually sounded good. It would be enough for me to get my mind of the scene that just happened and constantly decided to replay in my mind. Before I could say anything, Adrian cut me off. _"Hey, speaking of Christmas, who do you want to invite over to the dinner? I know Lissa and Christian, those two are a given. Didn't you say something about inviting over the Russian?"  
><em>  
>Shit. Shit. Shit. The dinner. I forgot all about that. Adrian and I had sort of built up a little tradition since we had gotten married, and that was to hold the Christmas eve dinner for people we deemed suitable that year. It was a way for us to bond with our friends and family, and from keeping the two of us bored on Christmas Eve. I actually had mentioned inviting Dimitri over, because his family was all the way in Russia and he was in the United States … but could I go back on that invite now? The more I pondered that thought, the more I realized it was stupid. I needed to act like nothing happened, and that's what I was going to do.<p>

"Yeah. You don't mind, do you? I know it'll be … different, since it's not Mason." I heard a sharp intake on the other side of the phone. Mason's death had affected Adrian just as much as it had affected me, and it was still painful to talk about him. "I mean, I feel kind of bad, especially since his family's in Russia and he's all the way here. He told me he went to see them last year, but he can't afford to do it now."

_"No, I don't mind. As long as he teaches me how to say 'fuck' in Russian. If he won't do that, then it's a complete deal breaker. No mother and father dearest?" _That one was supposed to be a joke … but that was cruel. _"I'm just kidding. Seriously." _At points like this, I really had to wonder if he was.

"Keep your mouth shut or it's no sex for a week." He gasped, and I smirked. "That's right. But, hey, babe, I gotta go. If you want me home and functioning well enough to have some amazing sex, I need to get going and turn in this report. I'll talk to Dimitri tonight about the dinner. Okay? I love you."

_"I love you too. And you damn well better be functioning well enough to have sex with me. You'll walk in and see me naked and it'll be all over. I'll be in the bed with rose petals. I'll see you soon." _I groaned in response to the rose petals, and he laughed. The phone clicked on the other end, and I shut mine in response, shoving it back into my pocket. Now I had to go face the man that had left me speechless a few moments ago. At least the talk with Adrian helped (for the most part); that I could be thankful for. My mind didn't feel as fuzzy, but that haze was still there.

Stepping back inside, I realized I had been outside longer than I thought. It must have been a good twenty minutes. Eddie was focused on Mia (that was never going to change until he asked her out) and Dimitri was at his desk, remaining perfectly nonchalant. As he should be, right? To him, it was just a joke. _As it damn well should be_. Smoothing out the paper, I made my way to the Chief's office and placed it on her desk. What was I going to say when she asked me how crumbled it was? Maybe she wouldn't ask.

I made my way back to my desk, and sat down in my chair. "Comrade. I have a question for you." Surprisingly, it was a lot easier to act like nothing had happened between us than I thought. Granted, it was because I was the one being irrational and taking his comment to the next level … but whatever. Dimitri looked up from his computer.

"I'm all ears." He didn't look away from his computer. The look on his face was telling me he was probably reading an email from his family. From what I could recall, Siberia was currently at mid morning, maybe around eleven. I wasn't exactly sure of the timezone, but I knew his family was awake.

"Okay, so, each year, for Christmas Eve, my husband and I have this dinner. It's a small type of dinner, and it's more so of a little 'get together'. Usually, it's just me, Adrian, my best friend Lissa – who you've met – and her boyfriend, Christian." It was annoying me that he was so distracted by his computer, but I knew that he was listening. "Anyways, we were wondering if you'd like to come to the dinner? I mean, since your family is in Russia…" I trailed off, not really sure where I was going with this.

"I'd love too. I have yet to meet my office's wife husband, and yet, I've met your best friend." I laughed at the confusion on his face, and to the fact that he said 'office wife'. It was a joke that I had used with Mason – he was my office husband and I was his office wife – and naturally, the joke was passed on to Dimitri.

"Great. I'm actually surprised you haven't meet Adrian yet. It's … almost shocking, considering how he's a lawyer and tends to come here a lot. That's probably smart, though, avoiding Adrian. And if you think _I'm _bad with the Russian jokes … well … Yeah. Though, there is one condition: Adrian wants you to teach him how to say 'Fuck' in Russian. Oh, and dinner's at seven. I will see you then, Comrade. For now, it's time for me to go home. It happens eleven o'clock and I've been here all damn day. So have you. You should go home, too. " He did say he was tired, after all. I stood up and grabbed my coat, listening to his response.

"I'll teach him, as long as he won't teach you how to say it." Bitch. "Don't give me that look. Maybe one day." That still wasn't fair. "I never said it was fair." It was almost like he could read my mind. "And yes _mom_, I will be going home; but only after you go. I'm waiting to see if you'll slip on the ice again. That was _hilarious_." Great. My partner was amused by me being in pain. Was it my fault the ice wasn't laced with rocks yet and I wasn't exactly paying attention, considering how it was _five fucking am_?

"I look forward to the dinner, though. I'll see you there. Goodnight, Rose. Don't slip on the way out."

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><p><em>Вы симпатичны, когда Вы краснеете = You're cute when you blush.<br>_

_I'm really excited to write Lissa and Christian. And sexual tension. Sexual tension is always good. And no, I am not a fan of the Biebs. But the cover by "Place Your Bets" is sex on air._

_Click that sexy review button. ;D_


	3. Staplegunned

**So, I was supposed to have this posted sometime last night. However, at midnight, I realized I had to get up in seven hours and go to work for four hours, and then I had two hours and had to go back for five hours. Needless to say, I'm on my two hour break, and I was aching to get this finished; it needed to be finished. I need to satisfy the beast. Roflcopter. Anyways, this chapter is written over the time period of a week. Most of this chapter was written when I had the fifty thirty am shift at work, so forgive me if things don't flow all that smoothly. I've read it over and I think that they do, but I'm biased. Yay.**

**And I can finally say that the ball is rolling. And, writing Dimitri's POV is a real bitch. I keep feeling like I'm not writing him 'correctly' and then I realize that this is an all human, alternate universe story so it's okay. That still doesn't change the fact that it was _hard_. Lmao.**

**Lastly, I want all of you to go and listen to "Staplegunned" by The Spill Canvas. You want a song that inspired a chapter? I give it to you. Seriously. Oh, and I love you all. Really. Ten reviews per chapter so far? Very nice. (Imagine that with a Borat accent!)**

**Now, on with the story! (:**

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><p><strong>chapter three; "staplegunned."<br>dimitri's pov.  
><strong>

Nervous was too weak of a word to describe how I felt. In reality, 'nervous' was just the beginning of it. Why didn't I tell Rose no? It would have been so much easier, and then I wouldn't have to deal with _this_: getting ready for a dinner that I almost didn't want to go to. Yet, deep down, I knew that I really wanted to go. Christmas had always been my favourite time of the year, and since I wasn't with my family … well, this would do. My partner simply meant too much to me to pass up a chance like this. My partner. I sighed, running a finger through my hair as I looked at myself in the mirror.

It was complicated was an understatement: it was seriously damn complicated. It was almost ironic; funny, even. Of course I would be attracted to a married woman. _Of course_. Fate truly had its way of being cruel to me. I closed my eyes, and leaned back against the wall. Yeah, this outfit would have to do – a simple white, button up shirt with a loose tie and a decent pair of jeans. I was thankful my mother had demanded I buy myself something nice after moving from Seattle. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I jumped. There was a good chance it was my mother calling me, or Rose was harassing me about being late.

I wasn't late, was I? I looked at my watch. Shit. I was going to be late by the time I left my apartment and made it over to her house, which was on the opposite end of the town. That was enough to make me laugh – she would live on the other side of the town, and then bitch about having to travel all the way into town to get to work. My stomach did a backflip at the thought of her, my mind instantly going back to what had happened yesterday.

It had been a joke, right? Yeah – that's what I was going to keep on telling myself it was. A joke. What a pathetic excuse for a cover up – it was no joke, and I knew it. Five months of self-restrain had just snapped when she questioned my manhood. Her comment was a joke, and I knew that … but my response was something I had _not_ being expecting. At least I had been able to keep my emotions in check after that. As for Rose, I had no idea what was going through her mind. She was _blushing_. Roza didn't blush unless she was incredibly flustered – to which I had seen once, and she had been on the phone with her husband. Did I really have that affect on her?

A part of me was praying to God that I did. But, alas, there was the complication of her wearing a diamond ring on her finger. Cursing, I pulled out my phone, which was still buzzing in my pocket. I smile formed on my lips as I looked at the caller i.d. "Hello, Mama." I could hear the voices of her, my grandmother, and Paul, who was demanding the phone over.

"Merry Christmas, Dimka!" She was ecstatic; she always was during the Christmas holidays. When I had come back home last year, it had been serious overkill in my mind, but as long as it pleased her. "Oh. It's still Christmas Eve for you, isn't it?" The smile on my face grew wider as I heard Paul in the background, pleading with Mama to let him talk to me.

"You know that it is, Mama." I heard her chuckle on the other side of the phone as I grabbed my coat and made my way out the door. "And yet, you still call me about this time ever since I've been in the States. I've been year for _years_, Mama." The outside weather was cold, but it was nothing compared to the Siberian winter. This was something I could handle, even if I had grown accustom to the weather in the Northern Pacific area. But, it was snowing – and after living for twenty-nine years, snow was not exactly something I was really fond of. I could basically hear my mother shrugging on the other end of the line.

"And it doesn't change every year, because frankly, I don't give a damn." She chuckled on the other end. "Your sisters are sleeping, by the way. I'm sure you figured that out when they didn't attack me for the phone. It is slightly early here, but you know me and how I get on Christmas. Especially when you're halfway across the world." That made me feel guilty. Thanks, Mom. "So, what are you plans for today? Please don't tell me you're going to be home _alone_, are you?" Way to change the subject. My mama was smooth, and I'd give her that. Even though we were timezones away, she could tell when it was best to change the subject. It was just one of the many reasons as to why I loved her.

"No, Mama, I'm not. Do you remember the girl I told you about, Roza?" Dammit. I was mentally beating myself up over that one. I didn't mean to say Roza. A smile played on my lips as I could just see the twinkle in my mother's eyes as I opened my car door, and shut it behind me. Her silence told me yes. I placed the phone against my shoulder and held it up to my ear as I started the car. "I'll take that as a yes. Anyways, she invited me to this dinner that she holds with a group of people every Christmas Eve. I'm actually heading there right now."

"Well, I'm glad you're not going to be wallowing at home alone. Roza sounds like a nice girl, and I'm glad you met her, _and_ that she's your partner. She sounds like she balances you out. Dimka, you need to send us a picture of her, okay?" Now, how the _hell _was I going to explain that one to Rose? "Is it just the two of you?" Did I forget to mention the fact that Rose was married to my mother? You bet your ass I did. It wasn't a smart move, but it was too late to go back to it now.

"No. It'll be Lissa, who is her best friend, Christian, who is Lissa's boyfriend, Rose, and Adrian, her husband." My mother was silent. Instant silence and I knew she was frowning. I could almost hear grandma laughing in the background – it wouldn't surprise me if she knew that Rose was married. Grandma had some sort of weird sixth sense … or she was just good at judgment. Yet, I was thankful that mama wouldn't judge me, like many other people would. So I had a thing for a woman who wore a diamond ring on her left hand. You know, no big deal.

There was a ding on the other side of the phone, and I could only assume that my mother's cooking was done. She frantically set the phone down, and I could hear her shuffling around. I looked at the clock – yup, I was still late, and the traffic jam I was in wasn't helping. A few seconds later, the phone was picked up, but it wasn't my mother.

"Be careful." I snorted.

"Did you see this one coming?" There was a light laugh on the other end of the phone: clearly, my family had a very odd way of saying yes. "I can see the smile on your face right now, Babushka. Some heads up about my impending doom would have been nice. And what the hell do you mean 'be careful'? That's _obvious_. Adrian's going to kill me and bring me back to life once he realizes that I have a thing for his wife. I haven't even met the guy yet and I'm already scared of him." Finally, the traffic I was moving, and I sighed in relief. It would only take a mere two or three more moments for me to get to Rose's house now.

"That's not what I meant, Dimka, and you know it. Don't make me spell it out for you." I really didn't need her too. It was just a cruel reminder of the world I didn't want to open my eyes to. "And don't swear. It's rude." At long last, I had made it to Rose's house, and could finally pry myself away from the family I loved so much. There was more silence on the phone, and my mother picked up again, much to Paul's distaste. I looked at the time as I shut off the car engine, cursing. I was about ten minutes late, but I figured it wasn't a _huge_ deal – Rose was late to almost everything. Still, being late wasn't in my demeanor.

"Mama?" I figured if it was Paul, he would have been rambling away already. "Look, Mama, I just arrived at Rose's house. I'll call you later tonight, and then we can talk, okay? But I really need to go; I'm already late. I love you. Give the rest of them my love." I didn't even wait for her to respond - which was quite rude of me – I just shut the phone and grabbed the little bag of presents I had left in my car. Rose had been incredibly helpful with these gifts, and that I was thankful for. Fumbling with the bag, I finally made it towards the door, and knocked. Who opened the door, however, was the last person I expected to see.

It was Lissa, and damn, she looked at lot different than when I had last seen her. How long ago had that been? It had been a few months, at the most – I had been talking about a case with her at the hospital, for she had been the attending nurse to our victim. At that point, she had only been a few months pregnant – maybe four, at the most – and she really hadn't been showing. But now, she was showing. The dress she was wearing was a doily like lacey fabric with a white sheet of another fabric underneath it. Her swollen stomach looked even bigger with the black belt that rested right above her stomach. I smiled at the sight of her, and she pulled me into a hug.

"I haven't seen you in _months_, Dimitri Belikov. I'm hurt," She feigned, and I laughed. Lissa was someone I had gotten along with incredibly easy – easy enough that I actually considered her a friend, and was disheartened when I realized we hadn't kept in contact. "The last time we talked was for a case. A _case_, Dimitri." She pulled on my hand, leading me into the living room. It was bright; open, and decorated in white, tan, and brown.

"My apologizes, Lissa. I've been … busy." _More like busy doing nothing. _"But it takes two to keep a friendship, you know. It's not just _my _fault," I replied playfully, a light smile on my lips. Lissa frowned, and I almost cringed. I was very aware of the pregnancy hormones (and Rose's constant bitching about her best friends mood swings), and was terrified that I had pissed her off. But, the frown disappeared after a second as she placed her hand on her stomach, shaking her head, which resulted in the curls loosely cascading down her back.

"Excuses, excuses." A man appeared next to her, and judging by the way he looked at Lissa, it could only be her boyfriend. This was the infamous Christian that I had heard all about; the one that Lissa was wondering if he would pop the question anytime soon. Apparently, the two of them had been together for about three years, and now that Lissa was pregnant, she wanted to take it one step further. I didn't blame her … and I was only wondering why Christian hadn't popped the question yet. I held out my hand to him, wondering why Rose bitched about him all the time.

"Christian, this is Dimitri, Rose's partner. Dimitri, this is Christian, my boyfriend." I could hear the bitterness in her voice at the word 'boyfriend', but I had no idea if Christian did. We shook hands, and I looked around, feeling incredibly awkward right now. Why was I here again? Christian looked at me, and smiled, taking his hand into Lissa's.

"How do you even stand Rose?" Christian asked as she walked into the room. I turned my head to see Rose standing there, with a black and red stripped sweater dress and black leggings, her hair pulled up into a loose ponytail. She looked even more beautiful than normal. "I mean, _seriously_, with all that nagging and nagging and her constant bitching. I would have left a long time ago."

"Nobody asked for your opinion, Fire Crotch." I decided it would be better not to ask what that was all about. "The only reason you're here is because Lissa can't spend five minutes away from you. Consider it an honour." Her face was serious, but it was easy to see that her eyes were smiling. Christian rolled his eyes, and opened his mouth to speak before Rose cut it off again. "And don't even go into some horrid detail about your sex life; I don't want to hear it." She turned to me and gave me a smile. "I'm glad you're here, Comrade. But I'm sorry you had to deal with this loser." Rose pointed to Christian, who flashed a bright smile.

"Look in a mirror lately?" Christian mused to himself.

"I have, thank you very much. I saw a beautiful figure looking back at me. I'm sorry that's not something you're used to, because yours cracks every time you look into it." Another figure appeared behind Rose, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. I could only assume that this was Adrian, her husband. The green monster flared inside me, and I had to push him back down. _Never going to happen. Never going to happen. Never going to happen_. His head snapped up when he saw me, and he gave me a smile equivalent to that of the Cheshire cat from _Alice in Wonderland_.

"You must be Belikov. I've heard a lot about you." I raised an eyebrow at Rose, who merely shrugged. From this, I could only guess that the information she told him was positive. "If I recall correctly, we had a deal. I'm very curious to learn Russian swear words."

"I think it's _bullshit_ that you'll teach him but not me," Rose protested, folding her arms across her chest. Adrian laughed, and I smiled in response. It was clear that he was very into her – the way he wrapped his arms around her, how he would look at her from the corner of his eyes. What was hard to tell, though, was how Rose felt about him. Adrian was crazy about her, but I wasn't so sure if she returned the feelings. The more I looked at Adrian, the more I realized yesterday that I had seen him before, on multiple occasions. He had always been at the police station, either talking to Rose or Eddie countless times. I don't know why I had never put two and two together, but it seemed obvious now. If I could remember correctly, he was a lawyer – a very _good_ lawyer, from what I had heard.

"I told you this yesterday; you don't need to learn how to tell Eddie to fuck off in Russian. You learning how to swear in a different language is a very, _very_, bad idea." Lissa and Christian nodded in agreement. "See what I mean? Even your best friend agrees with me. Therefore, I will not be teaching you how to swear in Russian." Rose pouted, and I could only focus on her lips. I was completely mesmerized by them; their perfect shape, how plump they looked… Adrian planted a kiss on Rose's cheek, who merely blushed – but ever so slightly. My mind was wondering if she had blushed because _I _was there or because she was normally like that around her husband.

"I may not be the greatest cook, but I do think the mashed potatoes may burn if they're left unattended," Adrian told his wife, and Rose's mouth dropped into a little 'o' of horror. She beckoned a glance at Lissa before running off into the kitchen area, Lissa following right after her. Christian and Adrian made their way over to the couch, and sat down. Adrian gestured for me to move closer. This made me nervous, but the smile on his face appeared friendly enough.

"Alright, Belikov. We had a deal. You're going to teach me how to say fuck in Russian. And since Christian's here too, you're going to teach him as well." Okay, so that wasn't so bad. I did promise Rose that I would teach her husband how to swear in a foreign language.

"Ебут," I stated, keeping my face in a straight line as I saw their curious expressions. They were trying to decipher the language – and the looks on their faces were priceless. Both of them repeated what I said for at least five minutes before finally landing on the correct version. The look in their eyes were pretty evil once they finally mastered the most vulgar swear word in any language. "Just don't tell Rose how to say it. I mean it. She wants to learn how to swear and I've told her it's not happening. Got it?" It was a threat.

But Adrian just smiled. "Not a problem."

**two hours later.**

And despite what I thought, the dinner hadn't been that awkward at all. As a matter of fact, it had been incredibly comforting – it was nice to see these people who could have such carefree conversations with each other, almost oblivious to the rest of the world. I was thankful that I had been included, for the more I thought about it, the more I realized I really did not like the idea of sitting home alone on Christmas Eve. Adrian and Christian both seemed like nice guys (ignoring the fact that I was jealous that Adrian was Rose's husband), and the banter between Rose and Christian was hilarious.

The problems started arising after about an hour and a half after dinner started. Just before desert, Christian, who worked as a firefighter, had been called in for an oven fire about five blocks down, and had to leave. Lissa was distraught, but kept her emotions hidden well. Within fifteen minutes of Christian leaving, Lissa was called into the hospital – ironically, both of them had been on call at their jobs. After Lissa left, it left the three of us at the table. That's when it started feeling awkward, but either Adrian was oblivious or he chose to ignore the situation. I couldn't decide which one it was, and figured it was best to leave it be – why would I even bother to bring that up? I was twirling my food with a fork when Adrian grabbed my attention.

"I hear you have quite a collection of embarrassing stories about my wife." The smile on his face was huge, and Rose flushed with embarrassment. "She refuses to tell me any of them, but I'm intrigued." I actually had a _lot _of stories. I put my fork down.

"I do, but it depends on what you want to hear. They're divided into categories." I knew Rose was glaring at me, but I was determined not to look at her. I knew that if I did, I would be easily lost in her eyes. That was something I didn't need right now.

Adrian's face lit up at the mention of categories. "Excellent. I always like adding stories fo- Oh, excuse me." His phone had started ringing, and I could see the look on Rose's face as it did. She knew that ringtone, and how Adrian's posture suddenly changed. He stood up with the phone at his ear, and Rose sighed as soon as he left the room.

"Excuse my husband's _rudeness_. Apparently, he can't get a single day off," Rose stated bitterly. She ran her fingers through her bangs, and pushed them to the side as she gave me an apologetic smile. "It's probably one of his clients, begging for him to come into the station, or another one of the outlying stations." Adrian was a lawyer for the county which Missoula was in. There was a good chance he'd actually wind up going to another city tonight. "Watch. He's probably going to leave and go to another city." The bitterness in her voice was becoming more apparent. It was clear that the two of them didn't really spend a lot of time together, considering their jobs … but I'd give them that they put on a good façade as a happily married couple.

"Sounds like you don't like his job." It wasn't a question. She nodded, and then picked up her fork and started playing with her food.

"I can't really complain, though. My job's a lot like his – the crazy hours and always coming and going … But at least I can _get_ a day off when I plan ahead. I don't even know if he bothered to plan ahead; probably not." Rose set her fork down, and Adrian came back into the room, a frustrated look on his face. She turned to him, the look on her face angry. "You gotta leave, don't you?" Adrian ran his fingers through his hair, the answer on his face. "You know, it's Christmas Eve. Didn't we both agree that we'd get _the day off_ for this? Lissa and Christian both told me it'd be hard for them to get the night off, because of the shortage due to rest of the staff having families. But you _promised_."

Rose stood up, and looked at me, the look in her eyes pleading forgiveness. "You know what? I don't even care anymore. This is bullshit, Adrian." That's when she stormed out, Adrian trying to find the right set of words to please his wife. He mouthed sorry to me before he ran off after her, and I looked around the dining room. From the room next door, I could hear Rose's yells and Adrian's calm voice, pleading with her to understand. Both sides of the argument were plausible, but I was inclined to agree with Rose more than Adrian. The fact that I was harbouring a crush on her didn't help.

After what seemed like forever (which was probably fifteen minutes), Rose finally returned to the kitchen, her eyes puffy and red. The door slammed shut in the living room, and we sat in silence for a few moments. Rose wiped the corner of her eyes with her sleeve, and laughed slightly. "I'm sorry you had to see and hear that. Really."

"No, it's fine." It was awkward, yes – but fighting was a natural part of life. Fighting like that was what my mother and father had done, up until the time I had been about thirteen. Rose shook her head in protest, and I stopped her before she could speak. "I mean it. I'm not just trying to please you when I say that – as sadistic as it is, I'm used to it. My mother and father fought until I was thirteen; this is not something new." She didn't say anything, but resorted back to being slumped in her chair.

Suddenly, Rose snapped up, a smile on her face. "Do you wanna watch a movie? I mean, Lissa and Christian aren't coming back, and Adrian has to go all the way to Butte. He won't be back until sometime in the late afternoon tomorrow." Ouch; that was rough. Her husband was going to be gone on _Christmas_? Did he not understand what Christmas meant? I returned the smile.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." Rose's smile grew even more as she stood up. She started to grab the leftovers, and I quickly followed her lead. The least I could do was help her clean up. At first, she started to protest, but I shot her down, insisting that it was the least I could do – because it really was. As soon as the dishes where in the kitchen, she ran the water and soap to wash the dishes, and then returned to the dining room to clean up the last little bits. What Rose didn't expect, however, was for me to assault her with the soap bubbles when she returned. It was hilarious, considering how she had no idea what was coming.

At first, she said nothing, and only looked at me. Rose looked _pissed_. Slowly, as the seconds went by, the look of fury on her face disappeared as she made her way past me, grabbing a handful of bubbles. The war had started, and I was determined to win. "I've got three sisters back home. This is a fight I'll easily win. I am the _champion, _after all." Viktoria and I had constant soap battles when she had been younger. While Baia had been a decent sized town, you still found yourself looking for things to do on the days you were home.

Rose snorted. "You're going to be eating your own words, Comrade." The handful of bubbles made contact with my face, and I stumbled back. I knew she had grabbed the bubbles, but for some reason, it never really clicked with me that'd she's shove them into my face. I guess I had been reminiscing about the times with my sisters to even have that fact register in my mind. Her face was full of laughter, and that was a much better sight than her previously angry face. "You failed the first lesson you taught me: don't hesitate." I raised my eyebrows at her. She was teaching _me _the tidbits I had taught her over the past few months?

"There's a difference between hesitating and thinking of past memories, Rose. Hesitation," I paused, and grabbed more of the bubbles. "Is something you do when you're scared, unfocused, or unwilling to pull the trigger on your gun because you know the person you're shooting at." Her position changed, instantly becoming defensive, for fear of an attack. I was pleased with this. When I had first arrived, she had been incredibly good at reading people, telling what they were about to do – but, as with anyone, she needed a little bit more of a refined technique, which was something I had helped her out with. Seattle had opened my eyes up to a lot of things, and working in the worst neighborhood kept you on your toes.

"That's such bullshit. Hesitation and recalling past memories, good or bad, is the same damn thing. You're unfocused regardless of what you're do-" That's when I slammed the bubbles in my hand against her face. It was a distraction, and I was a little surprised she fell for it. Given her state of mind, however, it wasn't that much of a shock. The look on her face was full of surprise, and then suddenly, rage – not real rage, but enough rage that she looked like she was going to hit someone. "You asshole," She spat, the humour clear in her eyes.

I knew what she was going to do before she even did it. Her hands reached towards the sink, and I let them – it was only when she got towards hitting my face with the bubbles I stopped her. I grabbed her wrist, and dear God, our bodies were so close. She was inches away from me, and I could very easily close the distance between us. As my body tensed up, so did hers – the tension between the two of us could not have been more obvious. Rose opened her mouth to say something, and my self control went out the window. I closed the distance between us, and wrapped my hands around her waist, pulling her closer to me.

And the worst part of it all? She was kissing me back. Dear God, Rose was kissing me back. Everything in my mind snapped, and I could no longer feel anything. Her hands were becoming tangled in my hair, and my fingers traced along her thigh before grabbing it, hitching her legs up around my waist. Her response was immediate, and as my tongue traced along her lip, a low moan escaped hers. Every fiber in my body was beaming with excitement, and I pressed her up against countertop for support. Everything was so flawless, working so smoothly – it felt _right_.

Hours could have passed, and we wouldn't have known. My hands were too busy trying to keep her closer to me, and if we had continued making out at the pace we were going, we would have had sex right there on top of the counter. Unfortunately enough, fate decided that it wasn't going to work that way. Her cell phone started ringing, playing a very familiar song – one that I couldn't recall off the top of my head. She broke away and turned her head, her eyes searching for her phone.

"Ignore it, Roza." She shifted underneath me, and locked her eyes with me again.

"It's Adrian."

It was that comment that made me feel everything in my body again. Instantly, I pulled away from her, backing into the wall. I was trying to get distance, and she picked up on it. Adrian. Adrian. _Adrian._ Shit. I ran my fingers through my hair. In the heat of the moment, I had forgotten that she was a married woman. Apparently, she had forgotten that too. I took a deep breath as I felt the nausea in my stomach settling. Against my better judgment, I looked at her. She looked confused. Distraught. All these emotions that I were feeling, times ten. The phone was still ringing in the background.

"I've… Uh. Um." I starched the back of my head. "Gotta go. I'll see you at work." And with that, I made my exit. She protested in the background, but I blocked out her voice. All I could focus on was getting out of that house. And as soon as the door slammed behind me, I felt as if I could breathe again.

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><p><strong>I really do like Adrian. I really, really, do. He's just not fitted for Rose. (; On top of that, I think Adrian and Dimitri would get along ... you know, until Adrian realizes that Dimitri is currently fucking Rose. Lmao.<br>**

**And Adrian's and Christian's job were a bitch to come up with, too. I guess I always wanted Adrian to be a lawyer, but Christian? I was pulling my hair out trying to find a good job for him. Naturally I'd settle on firefighting. They all seem to be doing the community some good.**

**Just so you know, Butte is apparently twoish hours away from Missoula. Are they in the same county? No, probably not. I don't know, because I live in Alaska and we don't have counties. This is fiction. Please ignore the wrong facts sometimes. ;D**

**Now review. Or something bad will happen. Mwhaaa. (:**


	4. All Over You

**Okay guys, there's something I need to say. On Monday, I will be out of contact for at least two weeks. Why is that? I'm going to Washington to hang out with my best friends family for a few days (I'll be on ... just no updates), and then on the 11th, I'm going to Spain with my foreign language club. That's right bitches, I'm going to _Spain. _This will be my second time going to Europe, but first time going to Spain! And because I don't really trust European hotels (lolol no offense, but Paris sort of scared me.), I won't be bringing my laptop. My trip itself is at least two weeks. But don't worry! I won't forget about you guys! Or this story. I'll probably be in Spain, on the lovely beaches thinking about this beast. Lmao.**

**With that being said, I'm going to try and post two more updates before I leave. You will get one more before Monday, I can promise you that. I'm out of school now, so it's a lot easier. Yes, summer break! I'm a senior now! (:**

**Another thing is that I actually cut the end part of this chapter off. I was over 6,000 words and I was having trouble ending it ... so I ended it. It's not a strong ending like I wanted it to be ... but it's an ending. It probably would have wound up into an 8,000 word chapter with a lemon, and I had no intentions of doing that since it's almost three in the morning and I want my sleep. Lolll.**

**Lastly, I want you to go listen to the song "All Over You" by The Spill Canvas. This song is the chapter itself. It's what kept me writing last night/early this morning. I did tell you I was going to suggest songs. I do have an awesome music taste. ;D**

**Okay. This AN is to fucking long. Without further ado, I give you chapter four!**

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><p><strong>chapter four; "all over you."<br>rose pov.**

Someone one told me that music calmed emotions. Well, that son of a bitch who had suggested that was clearly lying. Music wasn't helping me calm down. If anything, music was making me more pissed off. It probably didn't help that I had "Replay" by Skyhawk Drive on. Nah, that probably wasn't helping in the slightest. I took a deep breath and let my head hit the pillow, recalling the events prior. Had that really just happened? Had I really just cheated on my husband? Did I really just cheat on my husband with my fucking _partner_? The answer to all of these questions was yes. Yes, I had. Yes, I was an ungrateful little tramp who couldn't stay faithful to her husband.

I screamed into my pillow. This was bullshit. Absolute bullshit. The main question in my head was _why_? Why had I cheated on my husband? Why had I caved in when Dimitri leaned towards me? And dear God, why was my body still aching for his touch? Once again, the answer was obvious – I was pissed. I was unhappy. This marriage was nothing more than an illusion. We were even _happy_? I guessed for the most part … we were. When we had time together – but that was the problem. It was almost like we were never having any time to be together.

I had recently learned that there were going to be a few open spots for a detective rank, and I was yearning to get it. Adrian had expanded his clientele into Butte, among other places. It was easy: we were both going places in our lives, and it was only natural. I was twenty five, and Adrian was twenty seven. We were at the prime time in our life to be expanding our work knowledge, our life … And normally, in today's day and age, we wouldn't have gotten married until _after_ our jobs we were we wanted to be. Sadly enough, both of our jobs didn't entail that – they were both forever changing.

I ran my fingers through my hair, my stomach becoming upset. My mom was right: we had been too young when we got married, and it was going to result in a bitter divorce. I still scoffed at the idea – was it going to result in a bitter divorce? More than likely, especially since I just _made out with my partner_. My hands clenched together, and the song on my iPhone changed. What was that old saying? Mother knows best? Yeah, she probably did. My mother had been in the same position I was currently in – not exactly, but the same concept. Married young, pregnant young … and divorced seven years later. At least the two of them were on good terms.

My phone beeped, which signaled a miss call. Yes, I was very well aware that I had a missed call – Adrian had been trying to get a hold of me for the past half an hour, and I was just ignoring his calls. Was it my fault he decided to skip out on a dinner that we had planned for a few weeks? Was it my fault that he just _had _to drive into Butte? Was it my fault his client decided _now_ would be a perfect time to get arrested? No. It wasn't my fault … But then again, not all of it was Adrian's fault. It _was _his fault that he decided to leave and go see his client.

Now what was I supposed to do? It was only ten o'clock at night, and normally, I'd still be talking with my friends. I figured that Lissa would be back from the hospital by now, but what was I supposed to do? Call her and say 'Oh hey best friend, I just totally cheated on my husband'? Yeah, how about no? Lissa probably would have been pissed, but I knew that in the end, she'd be there to support me, even if what I was doing completely went against most of her moral beliefs. Closing my eyes, I couldn't even let the words roll off my tongue: I could only think it. _I cheated on my husband. I cheated on my husband. I cheated on my husband._

And as guilty as I felt, I still couldn't get it out of my mind. I was aching for more of Dimitri's touch, and I knew it. His kiss still lingered on my lips, and my body was going into overdrive from it. I took a deep breath, thinking back to how if my phone hadn't rung, we would have had sex on the counter-top. My stomach clenched again as I thought about that – and it wasn't in a bad way. The more I thought about it, the more I became aroused. And as the more aroused I became, the harder it was to stop. My breathing became labored, and I was thankful that the phone rang again to keep my mind distracted – but once again, it was my husband.

Sighing in frustration, I made my way off the bed and down to the living room. When Dimitri had arrived, he had a bag of presents in his hand – one for Lissa, one for Christian, one for Adrian (all done with my help) and one from me. It was Christmas Eve, and I would be dammed if I didn't open up one present. I was curious to see what he had gotten me, since he had been incredibly secretive about it. I had no idea what the hell it could be, and that was why I was so damn determined to open it. It took me a moment to figure out which one it was, since there were quite a few presents underneath the tree. It was slightly easier to spot, though, since it was the only one wrapped in green.

I shook the present, but it didn't rattle that much. I looked at the clock; it was almost eleven, which still meant that it was Christmas Eve. The box in my hand was too much to handle, and I caved, tearing away the paper, only to find a bland, brown box. What the hell was this? That's when I noticed the note attached to it.

_Rose,_

_You always complain about how your gun doesn't work properly. And, for the record, I still don't know why you don't think it works properly … but apparently, it doesn't. Or maybe it's just how it looks; I really don't know. But I saw this and figured it'd be a good present. I guess you could say this is my way of saying 'Thanks for saving my ass that one time with the drug lord.'_

_- Dimitri._

_P.S: I'm not telling you what the Russian inscription means._

He had gotten me a gun? I raised my eyebrows as I tore open the box, and … there it was. It was beautiful, actually. My gun back at the station was old, had been passed down between three detectives before going t o me, and jammed a lot. I had mentioned it to Alberta once, but after that … it never really bugged me _too_ much, though I did like to complain about it now and then. On the handle, there was a sentence in Russian. I really had no idea what it meant (or even said), and since he wasn't going to tell me, it was almost a lost cause. Lissa had taken Russian in college; she might be able to tell me what it meant, though.

I was surprised that he had even remembered I wanted a new gun, because I really had only complained about it a few times. I wrapped my hands around it, and instantly, I knew that it was _my_ gun. It wasn't a gun issued by the station; it was purely mine, and dammit, I was going to use it. Quite frankly, it was too beautiful not to use. It was almost nice enough _not_ to use; I was half tempted to leave it in the box, but decided against it. I put the gun back down in the box, and grabbed the wrapping paper, throwing it away.

By this point, there was nothing more that I could do. I had another day off, and I was dreading spending it at home. I'd wake up tomorrow, and I'd tell Alberta that I would be coming into work, no questions asked. Looking at the clock, it was just barely past eleven – and only now did I realize just how tired I was. Making my way back up the stairs, I changed into my pajamas and fell into the bed, praying for a dreamless sleep.

**the next day. **

A dreamless sleep never came. I was tossing and turning all night and kept on waking up. Eventually, I fell into a lull, but my dreams were tormented by the one thing I didn't want them to be: Dimitri. It was unavoidable, and he was constantly on my mind ever since last night. And the worst part of all was that most of the time … they were good thoughts. It was nothing bad, and that's what scared me the most. I grabbed my gun before exiting my car and made my way over to the police station. I didn't even bother glancing around to see who was all there: I could only assume Eddie and his blonde flirt, Mia, was there. I didn't want to think about Dimitri being there, and I was praying that he wasn't.

Much to my dismay, he was. I saw him as soon as I turned the corner to my locker. He was sitting at his desk, leaning back, reading a big file. I looked away before we could make eye contact, and ducked into the changing room to change into my uniform. I was thankful that Alberta had no issues with me coming into today, and was glad, since someone had to change their work day, due to a family emergency. Still, it didn't help me get away from my current dilemma. If anything, it just made the situation worse. What had I left home to get away from? Was it really Dimitri, or was it Adrian? The answer was clear, and I shoved it out of my mind as I shut my locker, locking it behind me.

I could feel my heart rate increasing as I made my way over to my desk, and finally sat down. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Dimitri had instantly stiffened once he realized I was sitting right across from him. I had plans to go in and act like nothing happened, but that wasn't going to be the case – not if he was going to act like this. He had only looked up from his file once, and his face hardened, showing no emotion whatsoever. After a moment of the obvious tension, he put the file down.

"I thought you had the day off." It wasn't a question, and there was no emotion in his voice. I merely shrugged, unwilling to be phased by whatever he was about to say. It was probably something among the lines of 'what we did was wrong, Rose.'

"I did, but then I changed my mind. I thought _you_ had the day off." Two could play that game. I actually had no idea if he really did have the day off, but I could recall him telling me that he did. He had become absorbed in the file, once again, not wanting to make eye contact. What was he so afraid of? I was going to demand eye contact eventually; he should know that.

"I came in at seven and decided to get some things done. Eddie was here and he asked for help on reading some of these files about his suspects personal finance and other items like that." It was now reaching twelve o'clock, so he had been reading files for at least five hours. "We're only about halfway done. There are still a couple more boxes over there." He pointed behind Eddie's desk, and I grimaced. If Eddie was smart, he wouldn't drag me into his reading mess – but there was a good chance he probably would, since we didn't have a case.

"Ah." What more could I say? You could cut our tension with a knife. If anyone walked by us, they would get the vibe that _something _was going on, even if they couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. Finally, I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Dimitri…"

"No." He already knew what I was going to say. The fact that I hadn't used 'comrade' probably just indicated further that I wanted to be serious about this conversation. Hell, this was a serious conversation.

"We need to talk about this, and you know it." My voice was in a hushed whisper. Where we going to talk about something like this? Anywhere we went, we risked being overheard – unless we went to his apartment … but that didn't sound like the best idea. "I don't know about you, but I can't just act like nothing happened. That's kind of a hard thing to do when you're my partner and I have to see you _every day_." I put as much emphasis on those words, but his reply was cold.

"Then request a new partner." I was taken aback by his tone. I had heard and seen that cold tone used on suspects, but never to a co-worker, and never to me.

"Well, unfortunately for you, I actually happen to like you. I already lost one partner to something stupid, and I'm not loosing another one to something equally stupid." My tone was fierce. I was not going to back down out of this. He put the file down, his eyes cold. Why was he acting so harsh about this? Or was I misinterpreting this? Was the harshness directed at me … or at himself? It was hard to tell. He leaned back in his chair, struggling for a response.

"Come over to my place after work. We can talk there. I don't want to talk anywhere else, because something like that _can't _get out. I'll be off around five." Alberta had told me that as long as there wasn't a new case, I could leave after five hours of work. It was noon, and five was around the time I could potentially leave. I was praying that I wouldn't get a case, just so I could get off at five to get this stupid talk over with. "I'll see you around that time." He stood up from his chair, and walked off towards the lobby. I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes, only to open them instantly by someone hitting my head.

"You're here at noon and you're still _sleeping_? I'm disappointed in you, Rose." Eddie had smacked me with one of his files. I leaned my head back and looked up at him, unwilling to move. "Did you and Adrian have a little too much fun last night celebrating Christmas Eve?" He wiggled his eyebrows, and my mouth fell into a hard line. "Or did you get no special present at all?"

"Actually, I didn't, because Adrian decided it would be a great time to make his way over to Butte to save his client's ass from being thrown in jail." My tone was laced with venom, and Eddie instantly backed off. Out of all of my friends, only Christian and Eddie were currently aware of the true material problems that Adrian and I were having. Lissa was suspicious, but she had never fully asked me outright. The look on Eddie's face was sympathetic.

"Sorry, Rose." He really was sorry, but I held my hand up.

"No need to apologize. "

A grin appeared on Eddie's face at that moment, and I grimaced. I had a feeling I knew exactly what was going through his mind right now. His eyes shifted towards the empty desk next to me, and more accurately, towards the file. Dammit, Edison. He was going to ask me to look over the files with him and Dimitri. Normally, I would have protested – but today, that sounded like a good idea. Looking at the files could keep my mind off what happened with Dimitri and our talk that was yet to come.

"So, Hathaway, you wanna help me with these files? I mean, it's not like you have a case or anything…" He took the file in his hands and shoved it into mine, not letting me answer. "I want these to be really looked over, too. None of that skimming bullshit you tend to do. I'm looking for any abnormalities; anything that looks suspicious, put it on my desk. You know about the rest of the case. Between you, me, and the Russian, we'll probably be done in a couple more hours."

"You do realize that this means you're my slave for unnecessary work for the next three months, right?" I flashed him a bright smile, and he only smiled back even more. I was glad that our relationship hadn't been shaken up when Mason died. Eddie was meant too much to me to _not _have him around.

"Of course, Rosemarie."

**five and a half hours later.**

Dimitri had left a little before five. It was now five thirty, and I was aching to get this stupid conversation with over. At last, Eddie and I were finally on the last file, both looking over it intently. After twenty minutes of looking through it, making sure everything was in order, we were done. I stood up right away, and made my way towards my locker, only grabbing my clothes and coat. I didn't feel the need to change out; I just really wanted this conversation to be over with. My stomach was screaming in pain – a result from the stress – and I knew that by talking to Dimitri, it would ease out.

"Where's my goodbye hug? That hurts. Right here, Rose. It hurts really bad," Eddie chastised me as I walked out, dawning my coat. He pointed to his heart, and frowned dramatically. I rolled my eyes as he held out his arms, and I pushed him away, a big smile on my face. "You owe me a hug, Rose. I don't care what you say, because you do. I'll get one eventually." I was not a hugging person, and that was why Eddie had pushed it so much. He wriggled his eyebrows at me, and I groaned in response before flipping him the bird. "Love you too, Rosie."

I said nothing as I made my way to my truck – my beautiful, beautiful, truck – and turned it on, finding a radio station that I liked. My hands were shaking by this point, and I tried to push that thought aside. The song on the radio had changed to a tune that I knew all too well, and I cringed. It did take me a moment to realize that the song was coming from my phone and _not_ the radio. I sighed, and pulled over, refusing to talk on my cell phone while driving. Besides, it was illegal. I looked at the caller i.d – even if I really didn't need to, and answered the phone.

"Hey." I wonder if my tone would give me away; I knew that it was dead. Adrian, thankfully, didn't pick up on my little tone adjustment issues – he probably figured that I was still mad at him. Which, I was, actually.  
><em><br>"Hey, love."_ He normally called me love when he was trying to be affectionate. After what he did to me last night, he better damn well trying to be. I was still furious at him, and I wonder how long that fury would stay. Adrian had a way of unraveling my nerves, pissing me off to no extreme, and then winding me up just like nothing had ever happened. _"I know you're still probably pissed, and I'm really sorry about last night. Honestly, I am." _Sometimes I wondered if he was. _"I … I was just wondering..." _I knew exactly what he was going to ask me: he always did after these fights. _"Are you staying at Lissa's tonight?" _

The idea hadn't occurred to me. I was planning on going home after talking with Dimitri … but I wasn't ready to admit that I was going back to him on my hands and knees. It was that pride within my spirit that kept me from saying yes. I merely shrugged, not caring that he couldn't see it. It was a natural habit. "I don't know yet. I'm still at the office." What a lie _that _was. They were just coming out easily now. "I'll call you once I'm done and I'll let you know then." My tone was harsh, and I damn well hoped he heard that. It was safe to assume that he probably had, and I smiled in triumph.

_"Fine."_ He hung up; yeah, he was pissed. But you know what? I was pissed off too. I muttered too myself and turned back onto the road, making my way towards Dimitri's apartment. I had only been there on a few occasions – mainly to go over cases, but it wasn't that hard to memorize where he lived. It was one of the better apartments in downtown. I parked my car, and ran my fingers through my hair before pulling it away from my face, and pinning my bangs back in a little bump. I knew that he liked my hair up – _and why the hell was I attempting to please him?_

I shuddered as I knocked on his door. It was damn cold outside, and my gloves weren't helping me. It also didn't help that I was in my police uniform, which only had a heavier winter coat. Nobody wanted to consider the fact that Montana was _damn cold _in the winter. After a few seconds, he opened the door and I stepped in, hearing it shut behind me. I raised my eyebrow at his choice of clothing. I had never really pegged Dimitri to be the one wearing a green American Eagle sweatshirt.

"Never really figured you'd be one for American Eagle, comrade. New experience? I'm assuming they don't have that store back in R.S.S.R." Dimitri rolled his eyes and I smiled.

"U.S.S.R," he corrected as he lead me into the living room. It was a lot similar to mine, with the white, brown and black colours – but somehow, his felt a lot more like home than my actual home did. He sat down on the couch, and I followed the suit. There was an awkward silence, and I was half tempted to go get a knife from the kitchen to make a joke about cutting the silence. Alas, I refrained. He was going to speak first: I could see it on his face how his brows were struggling together, and the look of pain in his eyes.

"What we did last night …" _Was amazing? Was so amazing that I want to fuck you right here? Was so sinfully wrong and I have a strange desire to do again? _ These mental substitutes were not working. "Was wrong." Dammit. "It cannot – _will not- _happen again." My arms crossed my chest; he was treating me like a damn child. Well, obviously it shouldn't happen again – I got that fact. However, that didn't explain why I wanted it to happen again. And again. And again.

"Don't tell me what can and will not happen, Officer Belikov." I pointed my finger at him. "From what I recall, it takes _two _to play that game. You wouldn't have stopped if the phone hadn't ringed." And neither would I, but I decided not to mention that fact. "In case you haven't noticed, it's _my_ life too. What if I want it? Are you really going to pull the 'well, you're married' shit?" The emotions on his face fell into a straight line. He was getting frustrated, and I knew it. I had seen that expression before; I had seen it countless of times when he had been trying to get answers out of victims and perps. He opened his mouth to say something, and shut it again before the words could escape his lips. This was getting incredibly frustrating.

"_Don't _tell me what I would have or would not have done." I snorted. Did he _really _just tell me that, especially after what I had just told him? It was almost like he was eating my own words and spitting them back out again. The blank canvas on his face changed – almost apologetic, actually. "Sorry," he mumbled after a few more seconds. I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the couch, waiting for him to say something. I wanted to talk about it, but he didn't – and why was I even wasting my time?

"Then don't tell me what can and will not happen." I finally responded, and looked down. If he wasn't going to talk, then I was. "Dimitri, I don't know what happened last night – nor do I know why. What I want to feel is that I'm pissed off and hurt that I cheated on my husband, with my partner, for fuck's sake." _What I want to feel_. I took his hand into mine, and to my surprise, he didn't jerk back. "But, that's not the case." I knew that he was getting what I was hinting at: I wanted more of this, and so did he. The lust in his eyes was there, but so was that sadness – that guilt.

"I slipped up. I lost my control when I shouldn't have; that's all it was." That earned another snort. If that's what it was, then I was a fucking bird. He glared at me, and I merely shrugged in response. "You and I can't let something like _that _happen again."

"Well, from what I recall last night, you wanted more of it." The comment slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it, and now that it had come out in the open, I didn't regret it. "I may be imagining things, but the thing between your legs doesn't lie, comrade." I wasn't imagining this. I had felt the erection against my thigh quite clearly. Thinking about that brought back the tingling sensation to my body. I watched his face as it went back to officer mode: no emotions, whatsoever. I had him wrapped up in my fingers, and he knew it – he was caught in something he couldn't get out of.

"It's not for the obvious reasons, Rose." Then what the hell was it for? It had to be for the obvious reasons – the fact that I was married, the fact that he was my partner … you know, reasons like _that_. What else could it be? As terrible as it sounded, I was willing to have an affair with this man – there was that spark in him that my husband seemed to lack. The way he touched me last night was enough proof of how much my husband was lacking. Every time we touched, a jolt of electricity shot through my body. Did I have that with my husband? No. I wasn't going to ignore this. I _couldn't _ignore this, as much as I tried to.

"Then what the hell is it for, Dimitri? I get the fact that I'm married, but please, honest to God, do not tell me that you think you can just simply _ignore _what happened between us last night. It's impossible, and you know that. If it was possible, we would have played it off like nothing and then we would have been fine." I didn't know if that was true, because sex and emotions were delicate subjects – not exactly something you could just ignore right away. Not for me, at least.

"I can't, Roza – and that's why it bugs me so much. I'm not incompetent; I knew it was a mistake from the moment my lips touched yours. This isn't about how scandalous that was … This is about _honor_." I raised my eyebrows; honor? What the hell did honor have to do with it? Then I got it.

"This is about me being married, not honor. Honor is some damn fancy way of saying 'you've got a husband who will kick my ass when he finds out I've been banging his wife'." It all made sense now; the whole partner thing didn't matter. What mattered was the ring on my hand, even if he insisted that it wasn't that. "For the record, you could kick my huband's ass anytime." That wasn't far from the truth. Adrian was strong, but Dimitri was stronger.

"I don't doubt it." A thoughtful smile covered his face, only to be replaced by nothing – again. "But that doesn't change the fact that marriage is sacred. You're bound to that person – you swore in front of God that it would only be _that one person_." My arms crossed my chest even tighter.

"You're just full of surprises today, aren't you, Comrade? First the American Eagle sweatshirt and now some religious дерьмо," I smirked, proud that I had managed to learn to say 'shit' in Russian. There was one word down, only countless more to go. Google translators was a god-send. After the comment, my face turned serious – if he was being held back by this, then I had no idea what I was doing. I was determined. "But – and this may come as a total shock to you because you're stuck in the 80's – it's not illegal. It's _frowned upon_. There's a difference." There was a huge difference. I could live with doing something unethical, whereas illegal (at least right now), was a different story.

"How did y- Nevermind." He took his hand away from mine, and cradled his face in his palms. The idea of him being all torn up about this was a little surprising … but not really. Most people weren't all too keen on the idea of cheating. Hell, even _I _wasn't … but when it came to my partner … well, some rules were made to be broken. I couldn't even explain it. It was some crazy fury bubbling up inside of me, and in order to tame the beast, I had to do this. Something about the idea itself was thrilling.

"I'm not taking away another man's honor, Rose."

I moved closer to him, letting his words soak in. He had already done that, though – he had crossed that boundary the minute he held me close to his body last night. The true honor was gone – but the identity was still there. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. I had no idea why this was bugging him so much (and nor did I understand why this _wasn't_ bugging me so much). It was natural that a person would be dealing with the guilt of cheating – but not to this extreme. I had a feeling that there was so much more to it; probably something to do with his family. That would make a lot of sense; he had been a family man from the moment I met him. You could see it in his eyes.

"Dimitri, that honor went away the moment we kissed last night. It's gone, and it's not coming back." It was frustrating to repeat words he already knew. He closed his eyes, and tried to break my contact, but I held him there, forcing him to look into my eyes. "And you know what? I don't _care_. Adrian and I," he flinched at the mention of my husband's name. "We … we put on a good façade. Don't most married couples?" I was talking to myself now. Great. I moved closer to him, and put my hand on his chest, and pushed him back against couch. The sex kitten was coming out.

"Roza." Ah, so he had noticed.

"Not everyone is happy when they get married. I know that in Soviet Russia, things like getting a divorce are uncommon." They probably weren't, but I couldn't help with constant string of jokes. I made a lot of jokes when I was nervous, and he knew that fact, mainly since he was the subject of my constant jokes. "But here in the real world," I leaned in, my forehead touching his. "In America … well, there's one third of a chance a married couple will get a divorce." Was I really that unhappy? My stomach turned. I had no idea if I was. Words were coming out of my mouth before I could even process them. I'm pretty sure it had to do with the lack of good sex.

"Russia," he breathed, "is really not as old as you think it is. It's a modern America, only in a different language." I flashed my best man-eater smile at him, and he visibly gulped.

"That's good to know." And I was kissing him just as he had kissed me last night.

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><p><strong>And yes, a lot of the conversation was based off all of the books, more specifically, <em>Last Sacrifice.<em> It's obviously not word for word, but the general concept is the same. Ish. You know what I mean. As for a gift, I wanted him to get her lip gloss ... but I was watching _Police Women of Dallas_and the girl was talking about her gun and... yeah. :/**

**More details regarding the full context of Rose's and Adrian's relationship will be coming soon. I know that they're a bit fuzzy right now, but it will be cleared up in the next chapter or two. I swear.**

**Mhmmm. I'm thinking of doing a new story. Shoot me a PM and I'll tell you my idea. I'm a little skeptical of it. Okay? Okay.**

**Nao, review, you people just reading my story alert. I know you're there, lurking ... your fingers aching to press the review button and type up a pretty review. But no pressure. Just ignore the fact that I'm hold your family hostage. You know. No big deal. ;DDD**


	5. Poison

**Ha! I told you I'd do another update before I left. ;D But as it turns out, it looks like I'm taking my laptop with me to Washington and Europe. I'm unsure about the internet connection in Europe and Washington, but it also me to write chapters and post them as soon as I get back. :D**

**Oh, and just so you know, the first half of this chapter is rated M. It was going to be a lot more explicit and more ... well, sexafied, but I toned it down. It's my first lemon I've actually ever posted, and I tend to do a little ... too much on the detail, and got a little embarrassed, so I toned it down. It's ironic because I'm all for sexual jokes and shit like that ... but when it comes to actually considering posting it? I get a little embarrassed. I think it's just confidence; it's the first one I've actually ever posted. Ha. Oh, and those Russian words in that scene? Yeah, you can go find those yourself. Jsyk. ;)  
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**I know I said I'd explain the Rose/Adrian relationship in this chapter. I lied. It's hinted at a lot, but it won't be fully explained until the next chapter (and I'm not lying this time). I was racking my brain last night trying to figure out how to get it explained without it being all out of whack, and thus, I found something. Thank you, Law and Order: SVU for being my inspiration.  
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**Ha. Ha. HA. You'll all gonna hate me by the end of the chapter.**

**But I love you guys. (:**

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><p><strong>chapter five; "poison"<strong>

It took me a moment to realize where I was, for the last two hours had been nothing more than a blur. For a second, I freaked out – but only for a second. That's all it took for me to remember where I was, and how I got there. A smile played on my lips as I recalled the events that had just taken place. Sure, the conversation with Dimitri had been a burden, but the sex after that had been amazing. At first, it had been slow and passionate, quickly turning into something more. In the past two hours, we had sex on the couch, in the kitchen on the counter, and had finally landed in his bed. My body tingled as I remembered his touch.

Or maybe it was the fact that he was touching me now. His fingers were tracing along the curve of my hip, and I gave him a look that said 'you're seriously going to try to fuck me again?' I hadn't had sex like that since … since Adrian and I went on our honeymoon to England, actually. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to walk straight for a week, and I had no idea how to explain the hickeys on my stomach, breasts, and neck. Well, the stomach was easy … but the neck and breasts? Yeah. That wasn't going to be so easy. At least Dimitri was 'single' – he could get away with something like that.

"How the hell am I going to walk tomorrow?" I mused out loud to myself, and to my surprise, Dimitri chuckled as he continued tracing lines along my hip. "Like, this is easy for you. You'll be able to be all fully functioning and those hickeys on your next will be no big deal. But how can I explain this to anyone?" I gestured towards my neck, and towards my breasts. He smiled in amusement, proud of his work. "This is so easy for you. You have a hickey on your neck? No big deal. Eddie gives you shit and demands to know the girls name. I have a hickey on my neck? Ungrateful tramp." Completely ignoring the fact that I _was _an ungrateful tramp.

"I believe it's called make-up, Roza." Sarcastic asshole. I glared at him again, and he managed another chuckle. He didn't understand the shit that I would have to go through to hide the marks on my body from Adrian. That's when it dawned on me. Adrian. Shit. I bottled right out of the bed, taking the blanket with me, leaving him in all of his naked glory. I wrapped the blanket around me as I started looking for my jeans… Where had they been thrown? "What are you looking for?"

"My phone," I responded. Surely, Adrian would believe me when I told him I had been at the office. And if he didn't believe that, then I was dammed. Well, I could tell him that I had gone to Lissa's and had lost track of time – that one was plausible and actually happened a lot. Okay, I had back up plans. This lie was going to come out easily, and I knew it. The problem was that I needed to find my damn phone. It was going to get worse the longer I put off calling Adrian. I turned to Dimitri, and had to restrain myself from jumping his bones right there. His body was a temple.

"It's probably out in the living room." I don't know why I hadn't thought of that – that had been the first place the clothes had come off. I didn't say anything and turned on my heels to find that damn phone, feeling incredibly comfortable in the blanket. It was warm, and fuzzy, and it took me a second to realize that it was a 'Transformers' blanket. I laughed at this, and then continued the search for my phone. My eyes scanned for my jeans, and as soon as I found them, I ached to move forward. The only problem was that there was a Russian who was wrapping his arms around my waist.

"There's really no need for a blanket. Or are you cold? That can be fixed." I tried to pull away from his grasp, but he was a lot stronger than me. I don't even know why I even tried to get away, because the attempt was pointless. He was also a good foot taller than me, but that did give me an excellent aim at his groin. I sighed and tried to push away. At least little bits were working; he was getting the hint that I needed to find my phone.

"Unless you want Adrian to come here, looking for me, I highly suggest you let me find me damn phone." That was enough for him to completely let me go, and I ducked down on the ground to get my jeans – which apparently had been stuffed behind the couch. How the hell they ended up there, I would never know. I turned back to Dimitri and laughed at the look on his face. He, honest to God, looked truly scared of my husband's wrath. Not that I could blame him. I pointed my finger at him. "Not a pleasant idea, huh?" Dimitri shook his head as I located my phone, dialing the familiar number.

"Hey babe," I spoke into the phone before Adrian could even speak. The 'babe' thing was to indicate that I was angry – but nowhere near as I had been before. It was some sort of unspoken thing between us. I wrapped the blanket closer around my naked body, for chills had suddenly gone down my body. Would I be able to get through this lie in one piece? I hoped so.

_"Hey, love." _Adrian seemed happier. There was a good chance he had been drinking or smoking, though. Falling back into his vices was something he did when we fought. I went to Lissa's, and he either smoked or drank. At least mine was healthier. _"How are you?"_It was causal light talk, and I rolled my eyes. Light talk was his way of trying to avoid the topic at hand. I wouldn't be calling him if I was going to go home, and he knew that.

"I'm … okay." That wasn't the best choice of words. "Listen, I'm going to be staying the night at Lissa's house. I just need some time to get my shit together, okay?" The lie rolled off my tongue easier than I ever imagined. I was a good liar by default, but lying to Adrian hadn't been an easy task. It probably helped immensely that I was on the phone and not having to see him face to face. "I _am _sorry about last night, babe. I love you." I was sorry, and I did love him. Dimitri's face remained nonchalant as I told my husband this. If this affair was going to work, then dammit, he'd better keep that face.

Adrian sighed on the other end of the line. _"I understand, rosebud."_ I abhorred that name. I don't even know why he called me that. That was not some display of affection. _"I'd be doing something like that too, but my vices are stronger." _He chuckled on the other end of the line. _"I'll see you some time tomorrow. And I'm sorry too … but we'll talk more when I see you tomorrow. I love you too. Bye." _He hung up before me, and as soon as I clicked 'end', I instantly started dialing Lissa.

"You thought I was done after talking to Adrian? Please." I snorted as I took my hand off the speaker, waiting for my best friend to pick up. I knew that Lissa would be one to accept first, but demand answers later. She would be suspicious and if I was her, I would be too. My mind was full of thoughts as to what she would say about this. Lissa was a very devout Christian, and I was pretty sure this went against one of then commandants. However, Lissa was also an understanding person and looked at both sides of the story before making conclusions as to what was right or wrong. It was one of the many things I loved about her, and was thankful that college had changed her perspective on the outside world. Before, she had been naïve. After a horrible boyfriend and some bitter female backlash, she finally changed into the fierce, independent woman I knew today.

_"Rooooooooooooooooooiseeeee!" _It was the longest drawn out version of my name I had ever heard. It was also Christian on the other side of the line, and by God, did he sound drunk. It was barely even eight. Why the hell was he drunk so earlier? _Someone must have died_. Christian tended to have one too many drinks when someone died on the job. _"How are you? I feel like we haven't talked in forever." _This made me snort, because we had just talked last night.

"There's a problem with your statement, Fire Crotch. We talked last night. Now, where the hell is your girlfriend?" I didn't hear an answer, but only Lissa demanding the phone from her boyfriend for at least three minutes. The phone made a noise, and finally, Lissa spoke. Only she wasn't speaking to me; she was speaking to Christian and chastising him for a) taking her phone and b) getting drunk when it was barely eight o'clock at night.

_"Sorry about that. You know how he gets when a co-worker doesn't make it out." _So a co-worker of his had passed away. I bit the bottom of my lip; who the hell had died? Was it someone I knew? I knew most of the firefighters, due to Christian's job and my job. _"But what's up?" _

"Can you do me a huge favour? I mean, like, _huge_? I'll totally owe you for this, but please? Pretty please?" I sat down on the couch, praying to God that Lissa would agree to this. I wasn't asking much; just for her to lie to my husband if he called her house, that's all. It wasn't _that_ big of a deal. At least, it wasn't in my mind. I was sure Dimitri would agree with my reasoning.

_"And what favour is that?" _I had her. Lissa would say yes, regarding of what the question was. She only drew the line at a few things, and I was fairly certain that lying to my husband was not one of them. _"As for my payment, you're going shopping with me for the New Year's Party. I don't care; this is my payment." _I could hear her smile on the other end of the phone. She knew how much I detested shopping with her. Shopping in general was enjoyable. Shopping with Lissa was signing a death wish.

"Fine, whatever. Take me on one of your dammed shopping sprees, I don't care." She squealed on the other end. "Look, if Adrian calls and asks to speak to me, tell me I'm in the bathroom and that I'll call him. Then you will proceed to call me and tell me he called, so I can call him. He thinks I'm spending the night at your house tonight because of our fight, and I'd love for it to stay that way."

_"And why would you love for it to stay that why? Why the hell are you not at my house? We could be back in high school again, watching Sixteen Candles and painting our toenails hot pink. I'd even go out and buy our best friends, Ben and Jerry's." _Her tone was playful, but there was a hint of disappointment underneath it. The way she phrased our girls night was intriguing … but having frowned upon sex with my gorgeous Russian partner seemed more intriguing.

"Because you love me immensely and you're taking me on your damned shopping sprees. I'll … I'll tell you later, okay? I can't right now." I could, but I didn't want to. "Just please, if he does, let me know. I gotta go, though. Okay? Love you lots." Lissa sighed on the other end of the line, but I knew she wasn't going to pester me. At least, not tonight. No, the pestering would come soon, and it probably would be one during one of those girl nights she had mentioned.

_"Only because I love you a lot, 'kay? You know that this isn't the end of this. But I'll do it, no questions asked. Yet. Love you lots, too. Go have fun with whatever you're doing. Be safe. Don't accept drinks from men you don't know." _I laughed. Her goodbyes always consisted of some sort of lesson she had learned in college. Of course she reasoned that I was out in the town. Well, I was out in the town … but not like she pictured it. _"And don't harass strippers, Rose. That'll get you kicked out. Remember that." _With that, she hung up, and I sighed as I put my phone down. That was a lot easier than I had expected.

"You agreed to a shopping spree?" He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me on to his lap. I didn't even hear him sit down next to me. I nodded, and he laughed. "You poor child. I got dragged into one of those, once. Christian couldn't come, and Lissa – who at that point, I had only known for a month or two - had just proclaimed me as her new best male friend and decided to take me with her. I don't know how you survived in high school." I laughed at his pain, for I understood one hundred percent. It was also very like Lissa to suddenly decide that Dimitri was her new best male friend, even if she barely knew him. It was in her personality.

"Anything to keep the lie going," I muttered softly, and I felt Dimitri stiffen underneath me. I pretended not to notice his change in posture, and pressed my lips against his for a moment. "Now, Comrade, we've got all night. Whatever shall we do?" I asked out loud in a husky tone, and I caught a brief glance at his eyes. They were full of lust, just like I intended them to be. My fingers traced circles against his chest, and he tugged on the blanket.

"This," he tugged on the blanket again, and I held it in place. It was a lot sexier if he tore it off me. "Has to go. _Now_." The demand in his voice was all I need to hear. His Transformers blanket fell from my body and he pushed it off my hips, allowing our bodies to be unrestricted by the blanket. "I have a lot of ideas of what we could do, Roza. _Lots_." His accent was heavier than normal, and I moved my legs around so that I was straddling him.

He groaned, and I smiled. "Your accent is heavier when you're turned on. It's incredibly sexy." It was sexy. Accents were sexy in general. Until I had met Dimitri, I believed that an Australian accent was the sexiest thing in the world… but after hearing his lovely voice, Russian accents stomped the Australian accent out by far. My lips pressed up against his for a moment; it wasn't a kiss, but a lingering one. "It's also a turn on when you talk dirty in Russian … which, sadly, enough, I can't tell if you're talking dirty or insulting me." I battled my eyelashes, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Хорошо, сначала, я начинаю, делая _это_." He placed his hands on my hips, and I was about ready to melt. He was guiding me on top of him, and I felt the tip of him at my entrance. If this was anyone else, I would have gone down on them by now... but this was Dimitri, and he was talking dirty to me in his native tongue. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. "Я перемещу Вас вверх и вниз медленно, и затем увеличу ваш темп, поскольку ваша киска напрягается вокруг меня." He guided me down on him, and instantly, I tightened around him. Fuck, it felt so good.

I bit down on my lip to stop myself from moaning. Right now, I had no intention on showing Dimitri that he was winning this battle. I started moving up and down faster and faster, my breathing becoming heavier. He wasn't even doing much, but this was still as pleasurable for me as it was for him. He opened his mouth – presumably to say something else, but I cut him off as my lips touched his. The tempo between us increased, and was coming closer to my climax. I rotated my hips in a circular motion, more out of habit than anything else.

"Трахнитесь, Roza," He breathed and closed his eyes. I smiled. Before I had been married, I had slept around with quite a few guys. The numbers were still in the single digits, but I knew that it took men a lot longer to get to their release before a woman. Adrian was just like any other man – I had to orgasm at least three times before he finally came ... but Dimitri was different, and, as odd as it sounded, it was nice. It was nice knowing that I could have that affect on him.

"You like that?" I breathed against his skin as I rotated my hips one more time, feeling my legs tighten around his body. I was so close … so close, and he knew it. He was biting down on his lip, and the smile on my face grew bigger. "I didn't hear your answer, Belikov." He glared at me, and my man-eater smile appeared. My breathing was growing heavier, and so was his. So close, and yet, so far away. One more twist of my hips, and my body caved out. I had reached my climax, and so had he. I slowed down, and pressed my body against him, kissing his neck. "When I ask a question," I stated breathlessly, "I expect an answer."

He looked at me, and gave me half a smile. I couldn't tell if he was dazed over from the sex or thinking about something else, but it was enough to make my heart melt. "Yes."

**three days later.**

The next few days went by without a hitch. At least, for the most part. Adrian and I hadn't even really talked; we apologized and then had some 'couple type', which consisted of us making plans to spend more time together, like the New Years party this weekend. I still had to talk to Lissa – to which I was going to do tonight, when we went shopping. But other than that, things were okay. Just to my luck, my concealer had done an excellent job at hiding the hickeys on my body. There had been a slip up, when Adrian asked about a light bruise on my neck. I had easily brushed it off, saying that Eddie had been flinging pencils at me and the eraser of one had hit my neck. It was so damn _easy _to lie about something like that. It was borderline ridiculous.

I believed that a lot of it has to do with the trust Adrian as for me. Adrian trusted me a lot – he trusted me with his life (as any husband would), and for the longest time, I could return that feeling to him. I still could, even if my judgment was a bit more cloudy than normal. Adrian was a great guy – he always had been… But getting married young had been a bad idea on my part. Didn't my mother warn me that we would be happy for two years, and then we'd be fighting a lot more? Yeah, something like that. My mother had also told me that the reasons our fights were happening is because _I _was starting them. It was a natural resistance I had; when I didn't like something, I tried to push it off and turn it into something else. Maybe she was right. Maybe she wasn't. Whatever the case, I wasn't going to do dwell on the fact right now. Point being, Adrian trusted me a little too much.

It was heartbreaking.

"Can you please change the damn song, Dimitri?" I growled, my arms crossing against my chest. We were sitting in the station's un-marked car, currently on a stake-out. We were waiting for a local drug dealer to make his deal with our rat, and in return, we would bust that son of a bitch and take him to jail. He was the worst type of a drug dealer; he sold to kids. He was the highest level of scumbag he could be. Who the hell sold to kids?

"You put the boom boom into my heart. You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts. Jitterbug into my brain, goes bang bang bang till my feet do the same," Dimitri sang along, a wide smile on his face. He was doing this to annoy me. He knew that I had no interest in 80s music, and preferred a much heavier beat than … than _this_. I glared right back at him as the song kept on going. He was going to sign me the whole damn song. Ugh. "But something's bugging me. Something ain't right. My best friend told me, what you did last night." His head was swaying back and forth and I faked a gag.

"Dimitri Sheldon Belikov! You will change this damn station right now." And he thought I was kidding? Dimitri snorted. "Every time I hear this damn song, I think of _Zoolander_ and how they're all in the car and get into the gasoline fight and then they _die_. They die, Dimitri, because they were happy from listening to this song. So please, do me a favour and change the song." The song was actually really catchy, but I wasn't going to let him know I thought that, now was I? I was wondering if he could see through my mask. He was probably wondering how I figured out his middle name.

"They didn't die because they were happy from the song. They died because they were idiots and it was great for comedic purposes." He took his eyes off the blank, dark, road ahead of him and fumbled around with the radio station. "Is that better?" I waited for a song to start, for it was still on a commercial. After a few seconds, the song started, and I groaned again.

Country.

A fucking country station.

Was this man trying to kill me?

"No, that's not any better. It's fucking worse than the 80s music." I reached down for my bag, which thankfully stored my iPod, which obviously had a better taste of music than the radio station. I was just glad that this un-marked car had an iPod jack to where I could hook up my iPod. "I mean, Comrade, I know that that song was a big hit back in Russia when you were there last year … but here, in America, we listen to better music. We're also twenty years ahead of your music type." I finally found my red iPod, and took the jack into my hands. I was about ready to plug it in when Dimitri put his hands over mine, stopping me completely.

"I'm in the driver's seat. It's either the 80s music or the country music. Your choice." There was a choice in this, and it wasn't going to be either one of those options. He didn't remove his hands, but his grip loosened up as I turned on my iPod, and landed on a song. I toyed with the idea of saying 'Look! Over there! Something just moved!' but I knew that idea would never go with him. All I needed to do was break my hands free from his and act fast.

"How about neither? I put up with your music all the time, because you always want to drive. How about I get a chance at the music for once?" I battled my eyelashes and flashed my signature man-eater smile at him. I was going to win this battle whether he wanted me to or not. He rolled his eyes, as if he was un-phased by my seducing. I almost believed him. Almost. I was going to, until he looked back at me to see if I was still giving him that smile and battling my eyelashes. The predator had caught her prey. I smiled, and moved towards him, batting my eyelashes one more time. "Just this one time?"

Dimitri sighed, and I smiled in victory. "One time. _One_ time. I mean it." I snorted. One time my ass. I was going to keep on fighting him until I had complete and utter control over the music. I plugged the iPod into the chord and hit play on the song. The beat soon filled the car stereo, and Dimitri groaned. "I hate this song." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Now you know how I feel when I have to listen to your shit music. Besides, this is a great song." The music was easy to nod your head too, and the lyrics were so much catchy than Wham!'s single had been. At least this song wasn't a one hit wonder. On an unrelated note, I felt that it felt the relationship I had with Dimitri perfectly. Aside from the fact that he wasn't an alien and all that Sci-Fi shit… but for the most part, yeah. The song was pretty fitting towards our relationship. I turned my head towards him and flashed him a softer smile. "I'm not apologizing for this."

"Wouldn't expect you too." His eyes were focused on the house in front of us. It was only ten o'clock, and nobody had left or entered the house for about three hours, and even then, it hadn't been the person we were looking for. As the song played on, I moved closer towards Dimitri. It was hard for me to be this close to him and _not _do anything. The chorus on the song began, and I couldn't help but sing along, just like he had done with his song moments previously.

"Kiss me, k-k-kiss me. Infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison. Take me, t-t-take me. Wanna be your victim, ready for abduction," I sang along with the song, pressing my hands up against his shoulders. He was pressed up against the window, and I had him trapped. It was nice being in power; that didn't happen a lot in our physical relationship. My lips lightly touched the corner of his mouth, and Dimitri closed his eyes. Yeah, I really liked this being in control thing.

He placed his hands around my stomach, trying to touch his skin as much as he could through my uniform. That was the problem with the uniforms – they weren't that great and they were hard to remove, and a bitch to put back on. He settled on the curve of my hip and I moved up into his lip, my lips still trailing on the outline of his. I could smell his after-shave and _god damn _did it smell good. After a few more seconds, our lips became locked, and I ran my fingers through his lush, long, hair.

I didn't know how long we stayed in our heated make out session, but as our kisses became more hot and demanding, he pulled away. "I still hate this song." I smiled against his lips, and pulled back. Even kissing him made me feel better. The song changed, and Dimitri laughed. "And _this _was the song my sister decided to blast for the two weeks I was in Russia last year." The song was 'Beautiful Girls' by Sean Kingston. Actually, it was a cover by Bayside, and I reckoned that it sounded a lot better than the original. His hand cupped my chin as he pulled me in for another kiss.

"Your sister has an excellent taste in music then," I replied, a husky tone in my voice. I had sex in a lot of places, but a car hadn't been one of them. Especially a car that belonged to the police station. Actually, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that probably wasn't the best idea. We had a lot of scary shit at the police station that could tell anyone exactly what we had done in that car. Our lips found each other again, and we continued in this position until a call came out over the radio.

_Attention all units, attention all units. Please respond to a 10-71 on East Broadway. Code blue. _

We both jerked away from each other, and put on our seatbelts. Code blue meant a bus was in trouble. A 10-71 meant there was a shooting. We were at least ten minutes out of East Broadway, but it was an all units. What the hell had happened? Normally, Dimitri would reach for the radio – but he was busy turning the car back on and setting up the proper lights, for this was an un-marked car. I reached for the radio, and listened for a moment to see if anyone else was responding. So far, nobody else was.

"10-4. Officers Belikov and Hathaway responding. ETA ten minutes." The lights turned on, and I placed the radio back onto the station. Before dispatch could even respond, another voice cut through the radio. The voice was someone I knew, and I looked at Dimitri, who was focused on driving. He was wearing the same type of mask I was: determination, but underneath, fear. We both knew that voice. It may have not been someone we liked, but we knew it.

_"10-53! 10-53! Officer down! Officer down!" _Jesse Zeklos voice rang throughout the car. I pulled the gun out of my holster, and cocked it back. It was ready to shoot, even if we were still seven minutes outside of the area. We were both aware that going into this was dangerous: an officer down, a code blue, and a shooting. This was pretty much the epitome of dangerous. But more importantly; _what the hell happened_? We were all aware of the undercover job that Jesse was going to do. He may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he had a real knack for staying undetected undercover. But there was something else; there was something else that bugged me about what Jesse said, and I couldn't figure out why.

It wasn't until Dimitri made a sharp turn around a corner, still five minutes away from East Broadway, that it hit me as to why I was so concerned. My hand clasped around my handle of my gun, the blood draining from my face. No, god dammit, this wasn't going to happen again. I looked at Dimitri, and the realization had hit him before it had hit me – he was driving much faster than he should have. I ran my fingers through my hair, wanting to throw up. The idea was too much for me. I could barely breathe, and I finally stopped breathing all together.

"Roza, I need you to breathe." I inhaled and exhaled, trying to regain my composure. On the radio, the bus was talking to dispatch – they were close, but they were afraid of being jumped like the other bus. Another officer had responded; apparently, the shooting was a lot bigger than we thought. At least five civilians were down, with three more dead on arrival … and an officer down.

An officer that I was all too familiar with.

An officer that I harassed every single day.

An officer who had been my best friend when Mason died.

An officer who was still one of my best friends.

An officer who I was _not _going to lose, not after I lost his best friend to a drunk driver.

My hand gripped the gun even tighter than I thought was possible, and I could feel my nails digging into the metal.

I'd be damned if I let Eddie die before his rightful time. His rightful time was when he was 99 years old, with five children with that blonde girl named Mia, and then he had at least seven grandchildren, and perhaps a great-grandchild. He would die peacefully in his sleep. His time was not when he was twenty six and defending Missoula. I wasn't going to break my promise to Mason. I turned my attention towards Dimitri.

"You need to drive faster."

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><p><strong>Oh no! Eddie! First Mason, now you too?<strong>

**But you'll have to wait and see what happens. Oh, cliffhangers are such a bitch, aren't they? Yeah, know you know how I feel when I read cliffhangers. Karma's a bitch now, isn't it? ;D**

**And yes, before you ask, I was watching Zoolander. That movie pretty much owns my life; it's so brilliant. It's comedic _gold_. If you've never seen it, go watch it. Now. I demand all of you watch it. Because we're all really, really, ridiculously, good looking. And ... AND ... His middle name is Sheldon because of Sheldon Cooper. I love you, Sheldon Cooper. Have my babies. They'll be super geniuses. **

**Now, I've taken your family hostage. I've now taken your pets hostage. You don't wanna know what I'll be taking next if you don't review!~ :DD**


	6. Hurriance

**Guess who's back, back again, Shady's back, tell a friend. ;D Loll, I kid. But I'm serious - I'm back, bitches! Europe was pretty amazing. Even though I wanted to hurt my teacher and called her out on many, many things. It's amazing I didn't get sent home. Loll. Oh, fun fact: the teacher I went on the trip with is my foreign language teacher. She's Russian. Her name is Galina. I think she's kind of a bitch. Loling forever.**

**But with that being said, I'm working on another story. It's a short story, and it's centered around Adrian. Yay, Adrian! I've read quite a few stories about how it's mentioned that Adrian went off on some crazy European adventure after Rose leaves him. Well, this would be that story. It was inspired by my own adventures in Europe, and it was another beast I needed to satisfy. You should all check that story out once it's posted. (Which should be incredibly soon. Because I have no life. Bwhaa.)**

**And guess who got the new Sims game? I DID. KLJSDGJKDS. I so did not make a Rose and Dimitri. Oh, no, not at all... (seriously has no life.) That's my excuse as to why this chapter isn't as enthralling as it should be, and why it's shorter than normal. I don't care, I have a new Sims game.**

**Okay. I am shutting up now. Just so you know, this is another one of those necessary filler chapters. But it's got Adrian. Yay, Adrian! He'll be starting to come around more, especially in the next chapter. Yay.**

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><p><strong>chapter six; "hurriance."<strong>

I'm pretty sure we broke at least seven different laws making our way towards East Broadway, including various accounts of speeding, an illegal u-turn, and I'm pretty sure reckless endangerment was among that list. Normally, that would have been _me _breaking all the rules when it came to driving – this is why Dimitri usually drove – but today, our roles were reversed. That happened when someone you cared about was on the field. The car jerked to a stop, and I was out of the car before Dimitri even came to a full stop, my gun drawn.

It was too damn silent. There was no noise, no wild animals running around – _nothing_. That was never a good sign, and my senses were on high alert. Where the hell was Jesse? More importantly, where the hell was Eddie and the bus? Cursing to myself, I barely heard Dimitri step next to me, his gun drawn as well. I looked up at him, and he nodded. We were splitting up to scout the area. It was dangerous, but necessary. At least we had our Kevlar vests – I could be thankful for deciding to wear that tonight. Dimitri turned on his heels and went to the left, while I went to the right. I had taken five steps forward in the chilly darkness before more shots rang out, followed by Dimitri's voice.

I didn't even hear Dimitri's words – all I knew was that he was giving Jesse an order, and Jesse wasn't complying. My attention was to find Eddie, or get that damn bus. _Code blue_. The bus was still in trouble. Nothing had come over my radio about the bus being _out _of trouble. God dammit; this was a lot more complicated than it should be. More shots ran through the air, and I ducked into the wall of the abandoned building. From what I could sense, the shots were coming from where Dimitri was – and that was based off his voice, telling the shooter to stop his firing, drop his weapon. My heart was racing, and the adrenaline was kicking in. My hands were starting to shake as the shots were starting to get closer.

Something moved off to the right of the house, and my head snapped up. Whoever it was making the noise was big – big as in a potential human – and was struggling. With my gun still in front of me, I slowly made my way around the house, scouting for signs of danger. There were none, expect for the sounds of gunshots and an ambush off in the distance. I had no idea how far away I was from them; my back was to them and I couldn't see a single thing. The movement stirred in the distance, and I heard a faint sound. I could only make out the first to words: H and E. H and E could mean a lot of different things, but the most common was either help or hell. And my money was betting on the fact that it was 'help'.

Taking a few more steps, I found the source of the movement, and I stopped breathing. It was Eddie, and he looked alive – for the most part. He was on all fours, like had been trying to crawl around, and there was blood all around his lips. _Oh God_. Eddie dropped down onto the snow, his breathing shallow and labored. The blood was starting to stain the snow. I dropped down right next to Eddie and ripped his shirt open, looking for the wound. It was in his abdomen, and that explained the blood around the mouth … the sluggish movements … Internal injuries were not exactly a good thing.

"Why the _fuck_ are you not wearing a vest? Jesus Christ, Eddie. Do you _want _to die out here?" I growled, only to see Eddie's face form half of a smile. He was no position to respond, and I wasn't going to let him. "Don't talk. You're bleeding internally. Christ, if you had been wearing your vest, this wouldn't be happening. Or you shouldn't have been working with Jesse. What the hell were you doing working with Jesse, anyways?" It probably wasn't the smartest idea for me to be exposing his wound to the frigid night air, but right now, I didn't care. My gun dropped next to me, and I placed my hands over his stomach, attempting to stop the bleeding. The blood was already seeping through my hands, and the wound was deep.

"Case," was all Eddie could barely breathe out. What the hell did that mean? His case had nothing to do with Jesse's case – at least, as far as I was concerned. Little things like that didn't go unnoticed in the station, and I shrugged it off. There was a good chance that Eddie was becoming delusional from loosing so much blood; his face was paling already. It wouldn't take long before he passed out – how long did I have? Minutes? Seconds? It was unknown at this time. That was a factor I tried not to think about, but it was almost impossible. "I…" His speech was finally becoming slurred. Where the hell was that bus? I swore out loud as the blood continued to run through my hands. Applying pressure to Eddie's wound was helping, but it still wasn't enough.

It took me a few moments before I realized that the shots and screaming were getting closer to my location, followed by the sound of the bus. Oh, thank God, the freaking _bus_! I could finally breathe again; hopefully, that bus would have been soon enough to save Eddie. _Hey God, I know I don't exactly believe in you that much and I don't really consider myself to super faithful … but if you let Eddie live, I swear, I'll start doing more – I'll go to church with Lissa, join a covenant. Maybe not the last one. _I barely had enough time to let my thoughts process before a body slammed into me, knocking me onto the ground.

The last thing I remembered was someone calling my name before it all went black.

**nine hours later.**

"Lissa, _what the hell_? She's been here for at least eight hours and I was only just informed that my wife was in the hospital? Doesn't that go against protocol? Don't answer that, because I know it does." Adrian? Lissa? What the hell had happened? My eyes fluttered open, and a shooting pain shot through my head as the lights seeped into my eyes. I groaned, and my best friend and husband turned to my attention, relief written all over their faces. Part of natural habitat, I attempted to move up, only to be forced back down by an even worse pain in my left shoulder and Lissa's gentle hands putting me back down. I glared at her.

"Sorry, Rose, but you really shouldn't be moving right now." I raised my eyebrows. I'll be dammed if she was going to tell me I wasn't going to move. "You took some pretty bad damage when Dimitri slammed into you. You're lucky you've got such a good partner. If he hadn't slammed into you, a bullet would have hit you somewhere in your neck – or somewhere else dangerous that your vest didn't cover. And don't worry, Dimitri's fine. The bullet grazed his cheek, and he's got some pretty intense bruises, but he's fine." She was next to me, doing her nurse thing – which was checking my blood pressure, and making sure that I was medically okay, even if I insisted I was.

"What the hell happened?" I couldn't remember most of it… The last thing I remembered was being next to Eddie, actually. Had I blacked out? The look on Adrian's face indicated that he wanted to know what happened too, and Lissa's face formed a frown. She put the blood pressure gauge down and took the oxygen detector off my index finger. She put her notes down and looked at me, then Adrian, then back at me before she sighed.

"I'm still not all that sure. Dimitri told me a good portion of it, but he only told me what he remembered. He said you two split up, and as soon as he turned the other way, shots started firing. Apparently, the guy was scared out of his mind and just started shooting the gun, because his partner – the one Jesse was going after – had been killed. The guy that had been killed put up a hell of a fight, and that's what caused Eddie to get hurt, and a few others to get killed. Jesse managed to get the guy detained, but Jesse also failed to get the gun away from him. I don't know how the hell Jesse's a police officer, by the way. And by that time, Dimitri said that they were in close range of where you and Eddie were. That guy – the psycho - shot Jesse in the knee, and started moving his gun to where you and Eddie were, but Dimitri was faster. He slammed into you, and the bullet grazed his cheek in the process. You pretty much blacked out as soon as your head hit the ground."

Well, that would explain the bitch of a headache I was having. That didn't explain the discomfort in my shoulder, but I decided not to press the matter until later. "You also dislocated your shoulder when you hit the ground. It's back in place, but it'll still hurt like a son of a bitch for at least three days. You had quite a bit of forced slammed into you." That made me snort. Dimitri was, for lack of a better word, a beast. She recorded notes on her chart, and then put it back down. "Now don't get mad at me, Adrian. This hospital has been suffering for the past eight hours, dealing with the police department, especially since we had three admitted, one in critical life condition, and three more civilians were pronounced dead after they reached the hospital."

Adrian nodded, his lips in a tight line. He still didn't believe that to be a reasonable excuse, but he was a lawyer – somewhere in his degree, he would supposed to question everything in the world. It was amazing he hadn't questioned our marriage yet. Lissa sighed, knowing that Adrian's response indicated that he was still pissed. "It's not my problem; talk to my boss if you have such a problem with it. It's the police department's wrath you're going to face, not mine. I'm sorry about it, though. I would have called you, but I had my hands full."

Lissa turned her attention to me, and missed Adrian rolling his eyes behind her. I knew that he thought it was a bullshit reason – but then again, he wasn't in Lissa's shoes. I knew how the hospital could be when the police department was involved, especially with three of their own officers admitted. "I'm glad you're okay, Rose. Now, I'll leave you too alone – but, for the love of God, please remember you are in a hospital." With that, my best friend turned on her heels and walked out of my room. As soon as she was gone, Adrian moved to my side, brushing the hair out of my face.

"How are you feeling?" His voice was soft, unlike the bitter tone he had with Lissa. He was running his fingers through my hair, and it was starting to sooth my headache. Either that or I was finally becoming used to the god-awful lights in the damn hospital room. I groaned, and Adrian laughed. He knew me all too well to know that I was going to start bitching about my current state in a few moments. He pressed his lips against my forehead before I finally responded.

"My head hurts like a son of a gun, and my shoulder feels like someone ripped it off and then glued it back together. My whole body is just … sore in general. Being slammed into the ground is _not _fun; I don't recommend it at all." Adrian laughed again as his fingers caressed my cheek, and I flinched at his touch. It was tender, which indicated I probably had some wicked bruise. "You like my battle wounds, though? Sorry we can't have any 'thank God you're alive' sex tonight, but my body wouldn't be capable of going through that." The disappointment on his face wasn't faked, and I managed a laugh.

"That's terrible." He was being serious, and that was the worst part. It had been a quite some time since my husband and I had some 'alone' time … but then again, I hadn't been the only one stepping away. It was his fault too. I may have been a cheating whore … but it took two to fix something that was broken. It probably didn't help that what was broken was underneath the surface, and, like always, that was so much harder to fix than anyone ever really figured. He was still running his fingers through my hair, and I could see the worry etched on his face. He had that worry every time I was in the hospital, no matter how weak the injury was.

I placed my hand on his cheek, and offered him a smile. "You have that look. Don't worry about it; I'm fine. And I'll always be fine. I'm going to die peacefully in my bed when I'm a hundred and ten." It was meant to be a joke, but I could still see that he took it seriously. My job was dangerous, and he knew it. At first, it hadn't bothered him – until those late nights where I started working constantly, and he started getting cases involving brutal deaths of police officers. It probably didn't help that someone had waited at least seven hours to call him. The idea of receiving a call from the hospital, concerning the one you loved, had never really been a thought to pass through my head.

Then again, it was completely logical that he would be freaking out. Adrian had been incredibly supportive of my job, but there were those moments he slipped up – especially the time I had first been in the hospital. I had only broken my leg, but apparently, it was that big kicker that Adrian needed to realize that my job wasn't exactly the safest in the bunch.

"I do not have that look." I snorted. "But imagine if that was me in the bed, and you were in my position. What would you do? Actually, don't answer that. You'd be running in here, kicking and screaming, demanding that you see me and would be bitching out everyone for not calling you sooner." He did know me pretty well, but a wave of nausea settled in my stomach. I shoved that thought away, because I didn't know if that was the truth anymore. Would I have come in kicking and screaming? I might have. I didn't know, and I was praying to God I would never have to find out.

"I would have killed some people, actually." I had no energy for me to even try to fight back. Adrian's face formed a smile, and I gave him a soft smile back. I could feel the medicine starting to seep in now. The pain in my shoulder was starting to subside, and I was thankful for that. In the background, I heard his phone go off, and I groaned. Of course his phone would be going off. He had told me a day or two ago that he was preparing for a big trial in Butte. I had no idea what the trial was about (even though I was sure he had told me), but that still didn't stop me from bitching. He gave me a sheepish smile, reading the text.

"I've got to go, love. I'm sorry I couldn't stay any longer, but you know how it is." I did, actually, as much as I didn't want to admit it. It was probably for the best this time, because I wasn't sure how long I could stay awake. His lips pressed against mine, and I kissed him back. It was a quick kiss, but his lips lingered against mine for a few more seconds before he pulled back. "I'll come back later if you're not discharged. If you are, I'll see you at home. Bye, Rose. I love you." He was out the door before I could even properly reply.

"Love you too," I muttered as the door opened again, Adrian's figure only to be replaced by Lissa's. There was an adamant look on her face as she came up next to me, checking my vitals. I was pretty sure Lissa checking up on me was a conflict of interest, but I never really bothered to question it. I was glad that it was Lissa, as opposed to someone I didn't know.

"How's the medicine kicking in?" She held a light in her hands, and flicked it towards my eyes, making more notes. I only vaguely knew what she was doing, and that was because she had told me when I asked her once. That had been a long time ago, and it was something about pupil response to light – it had to deal with head injuries, which I was sure to have after Dimitri had slammed into me.

"Great. Can't feel a damn thing. Kind of. My head's killing me, though." I paused, my mind reflecting on something about someone in 'critical condition'. Had that been Eddie? More than likely. I bit my lip, afraid of the answer. "How's Eddie?" Lissa paused as she took a seat next to me, her expression softening. That was good. When I had been in the hospital last – after Mason's brutal death – and Lissa had told me the unfortunate news, her expression had been deadpanned.

"That's good; I gave you some pretty intense drugs. You probably have a concussion, though – that means no active work for you for at least three days." I glared at her; she knew I hated when I had to be off active duty. She sighed before answering my question about Eddie. "He's … okay. In critical condition, but he's okay – for the most part. He's got some pretty bad internal scarring and won't be on active duty for a month, at least. He also broke his arm and a couple of ribs, but he's out of the danger zone. He got out of surgery at little bit ago. You can go see him, in a little bit – but you should sleep first. We're keeping you overnight, just to make sure you don't have any head trauma."

I had a snappy retort on my tongue, but held it back. Sleep sounded like heaven right now. I closed my eyes, and the last thing I could recall her was turning off the lights.

When I woke up, it took me a second to remember where I was. Slowly but surely, the events that happened hours previously finally flooded back into my mind, and I calmed down. The medicine was beginning to dissolve, and the pain in my shoulder was returning.

"Sleeping beauty finally awakes."

"Sleeping beauty has one hell of a headache," I muttered as I sat up to lean against my bed. The lights from the room weren't terrible anymore, but that didn't stop my head from hurting. Dimitri gave me a soft smile as he moved his chair closer to my bed.

"Sorry about that." He placed his hand on top of my mind, and my eyes wouldn't leave the cut on his cheek. He had five stitches holding the skin together and there was still some dried blood around the cut. His lip was busted open, and there were a couple of bruises on his face. My hand went up to his face and traced along the bruises. He flinched, and put his hand onto of mind, as if he were to remove it. I was anticipating that, but … to my surprise, he kept it there.

"Don't be. I'd rather have serious pain than a bullet somewhere in my body." Then again, who wouldn't? His expression was deadpanned, and I frowned. "Just tell me that son of a bitch is in jail, yes?" Dimitri nodded, and I smiled in relief. "Good." I paused. "What happened after you knocked me out?" He flinched at my choice of words. It had been for a good purpose, so it didn't bother me – even if my whole body hurt terribly.

"The bus arrived right after you were knocked out. They took Eddie right away, and since they had Eddie and another patient in the bus, they waited until the next bus came to get you. You were completely unconscious," his words were breaking, and I traced small circles on his cheek. "Others finally came in, and they started cleaning up the scene, and getting the dead bodies moved. It … it wasn't pretty." It took a lot for Dimitri to completely falter under the pressure from a brutal scene. I was surprised at how dangerous this had been… Then again, it hadn't been my case, so I wouldn't have known.

"About ten minutes later, the other bus arrived, and they whisked you right off to the hospital. Well, they took me with you and demanded that I get stitches on my cheek." He chuckled at the memory, and I could easily picture that scene. "Lissa sent me home after my stitches and put me on bed rest; she refused to let me stay here until you woke up. So she sent me home and I just got back about half an hour ago." He leaned down next to him and picked up a bag – a bag that I recognized instantly. My mouth was already watering.

"I also figured you'd probably be starving, so I brought you a cheeseburger and extra greasy fries." I snatched the bag out of his hands and dug into the food, realizing just how hungry I was. Dimitri game me one of his softer laughs, and I melted as soon as the food touched my mouth.

"I love you," I managed to say between bites, and leaned back against my pillow, only faintly aware of the slightly stunned expression on Dimitri's face. I shrugged it off, believing that it had something to do with me snatching the food out of his hands, instead of what I had just told him. The food was just what I needed. I hadn't had hospital food yet, but I had been dreading it. Hospital food was disgusting, and there was no point in trying to cover that up. Within seconds, my food was polished off and I breathed a heavy sigh. Silence was filling the room, and it was making me uncomfortable. I didn't like situations like this, and I did not like being left without something to say.

"Thank you," I whispered after a few more moments, unsure of what else to say. They were only two words, but the tone I carried them in spoke so much. Dimitri's brown eyes gazed into mine, and I felt uneasy in his stare. He wasn't mad – but he wasn't exactly happy, either. Normally, his eyes spoke legions – but this time … it was impossible to comprehend on what he was thinking. Finally, his lips formed into a very smile, tight lipped smile as he ran his fingers through my hair, just like Adrian had done hours before him. A chill ran through my body as his fingers laced through my hair.

"Anytime, Roza."

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><p><strong>Hint: listen to the Ed-master. ;D<strong>

**Mhmm. Next chapter = Eddie and Rose have some heart to heart moments and some Adrian and Rose fluff. At long last! fkdjldf. Until next time, my loves. I'm off to play my Sims game.**

**Now review. I've taken your family, your pets, and I've now taken your virtue. I told you that you didn't want to know what I'd take next. ;DDDD**


	7. Everything You Want

**Before I go into my rambling, I must tell you these two amazing facts! One: Yesterday, I was at Round Table Pizza with my grandparents in the mall. I went up to order my food, and the guy at the counter is fucking gorgeous. He had black hair and blue eyes. I look at his name tag and it says _Christian_. Life. Forever. Changed. Two: I have a mother fucking Harry Potter Snuggie. Your argument is forever invalid!**

**With those two highly entertaining comments aside, I finally did it. I managed to get this posted before my birthday! I still have a few hours until it's officially my birthday. Yay, sweet seventeen! I've been legally able to drive for a year now! Although, I know I said I'd be able to update _I Don't Wanna Be In Love_, I lied. I spent all my time on this chapter, and I'm proud of it. It's over 6,000 words, and twelve pages on Microsoft office. It should answer a lot of questions regarding Rose and Adrian's situation, and Dimitri's predicament! Yes, that means Rose and Adrian fluff in the first part of the chapter. :D I did switch the POV in this, and I'm slightly skeptical about it. I don't enjoy doing it in my own stories, but I felt that it was necessary. And oh, the secrets, the lies ... ;D**

**And yes, I am highly aware that Rose is hypocritical. It's for the future lulz and drama, I swear.**

**Oh. I should mention that this story and my other one will have sort of a lull between the next updates. I'm attending a program in Washington, D.C called National Youth Leadership on Law and CSI on July 5th to the 10th. After that, my mom and I are going to Philly, New York City, and Boston. I'll write whenever I get the chance, but no promises. But after July 18th, I'll have all the time in the world to update until I go back home and start working again. Boo, having a job sucks. :|**

**Lastly, I dedicate this chapter to each and every single person who has reviewed this story. You guys mean the world to me, and I mean it. I'd give you some cheesy line, but I'm way too cool for that. /end seriously fucking long AN.**

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><p><strong>chapter seven; 'everything you want.'<strong>

Rubbing my eyes, I stifled a yawn as I lay down on the bed. I had been home for a day now, on leave, and I was _bored out of my fucking mind_. I didn't like being in confined spaces, even if I knew it was necessary. My phone beeped, and I groaned in response, deciding that it would be best to ignore it. I didn't care at this point – I just wanted to stay where I was in my cookie monster pajama bottoms and blue tank-top that matched. All I needed was a freaking snuggie, and my life would be complete. But when I opened my eyes, my phone beeped again. Giving into the annoying noise, I rolled over on my side to grab it.

_I've got Chinese! :D – Mr. Sexy. _That was enough to get me out of the bed. I hadn't paid attention to the time – which it was now indicating that it was dinner time. Pushing the covers back, I winced as I sat up-right. Lissa had advised that sudden movements would trigger pain in my head and in my shoulder. My shoulder wasn't as bad, as it was supported by a sling – but my head fucking hurt. I was starting to wonder if I had some serious brain damage from my collision with the ground. My best friend reassured me that I didn't, but at times like this, when it hurt too much, I didn't know.

Yet, I braved it out. I had taken some pain killers an hour or so ago, and they would subdue the majority of the headache for now. It was enough for me to stumble out of the bedroom and into the living room, where I smelled the lovely smell of Chinese food. My mouth was watering as I eyed my husband with a smile. He, in return, had a soft smile on his face as he held up the take-out box. "I'm glad you decided to read my text. I would have called you, but I know that Lissa mentioned that loud noises wouldn't be a good idea for your head."

I shrugged as I settled down on the couch. Adrian followed the suit, and handed me my box of Chinese takeout. It was full of Chow mein, sesame chicken, and steamed rice. Before digging into my box, I scooted closer to Adrian so I was able to rest my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and we sat in a comfortable position as we ate. It was times like this that made me realize how much I missed our old selves, before everything had turned a little bit crazy. It seemed natural, though.

Adrian had wanted to be a lawyer. Actually, he first wanted to be a painter, but he realized that he wouldn't exactly be making bank in that department, and took up his other ideal profession. He loved questioning things, and it was only fitting that questioning the system would be his future job. By the time I had entered the police academy, he was just entering his world as a lawyer. We were married shortly before I entered the academy, at the age of twenty for me, twenty-five for him. It had been a small, beautiful ceremony with close friends and family. Things were great, until about a year and a half ago.

The first part of our troubles was the mention of kids. Adrian wanted kids, and I told him I wanted to be a detective before I had children. Having children put a hindrance on my job – and I knew it, and I wanted to prevent that. I wanted my job as fast as I could, even if it took me another five years, and I didn't want children to be blocking my path. That was something Adrian respectfully understood, although it still hurt him when I told him the truth. I'm pretty sure it still does hurt him.

The second part, and the most pivotal part, comes from the added stress and time his job demands. His job demands hours at will, and being able to travel to different parts of the county we resided in, on a moment's notice. Holidays like Christmas and New Years were rare for him to have off, but he had managed until last year. _Just because it's a holiday doesn't mean crime will stop_, someone once told me. As he struggled to crawl up the ladder of success, the job became more demanding.

Lissa told me that this was only a small, bitter patch in our otherwise outstanding relationship. She told me stories of how she and Christian would fight from her stress levels of being a nursing student, and his training … And in the end, they managed to pull through. Lissa was at a stable part in her job, and so was Christian. They were happy, but then again, Lissa and Christian were _that _couple. The couple that needed the other to survive. Without the other, they would cease to be who they were.

At first, I believed her. We would have our fights, and then things would be okay. But as those fights started growing more and more constant, the less I started to believe. I was a pessimistic person by nature – the glass was always going to be half empty to me. Over and over, that statement of how things have to get worse before they get better is pounded into my head, and over and over, I don't believe it. If Adrian and I were going to work out, we'd be like fucking Lissa and Christian. At the time I had married Adrian, I was _so damn sure_ he had been the one.

Now I was just questioning myself again.

But there was that little silver of hope somewhere inside my heart. I felt it every time I was around Adrian. Every time I had been around Dimitri, that went out the window, and yet, every time I went back to Adrian, it popped up again. It was really starting to piss me off.

"Thank you. You know how much I love Chinese food. And how to stop me from beating down the walls out of boredom," I stated with a laugh as I snuggled closer into him. It was awkward because of my sling, but Adrian worked around it. He ran his fingers through my hair before finally settling on twirling the ends. "That really hit the spot." I took the empty container from him and combined both of our empty containers and put them on the floor. Adrian flicked on the television, which happened to be on my favourite movie. I snorted. "You're such a suck up."

He pressed his lips against my hair. "Is it a crime to be a suck up to the woman he loves?" My husband mused, his lips still pressed loosely against my hair. Somehow, for some reason, his touch didn't have the same electrifying feeling that Dimitri's gave me. "I felt – I feel – bad. I know I promised a lot of things this last week, and I know that it hasn't been working out in my favour. Between the trial and that idiot on Christmas Eve, I just haven't had enough time for you, like I should, especially at this time of the year." He dug his hand into his pockets, pulling out a velvet box. I instantly sat up straighter, almost reluctant to accept his gift.

"Are you trying to buy me?" It was meant to be a joke, but the tone of my voice was full of worry – worry that I wasn't sure I could explain. If Adrian hadn't noticed my tone, than he was an idiot. He cupped his hand on my child and held my eye contact, shaking his head.

"No. Well, maybe a little bit. I just, I really do feel bad. I don't know. I was on my way home and I saw this and I just thought of you." He opened the box, and I was at a loss for words. It was a rose necklace, and it was … it was beautiful. "I know you hate rose stuff, but I couldn't help myself," He smirked, and I swatted his shoulder. "Here, turn around. I'll put it on for you." I followed his command, and turned around, lifting up my hair from the back of my neck so he could fasten it. The metal felt cold against my skin, and it was oddly refreshing. His lips pressed up against my neck, and when that once would have sent shivers down my spine, it didn't. Not this time.

When I didn't respond to his kiss, Adrian stopped. I knew the look on his face was pondering, but if he had a question on the tip of his tongue, he didn't act on it. Instead, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him, to which I replied too. The _Titanic _was playing on ABC Family, and just to my luck, he would decide to play it. I loved that movie – Lissa and I had many hours with that movie … but it made my stomach upset. That feeling of nausea was settling over. I knew the cause for it – it was guilt. It was always guilt.

**the next day.**

It was incredibly rare when I didn't want to be at work. Most of the time, I loved my job – I still love my job, but there were just some days when I had no energy to crawl out of bed and make my way to the police station. Today was just one of those days. The headache had subsided immensely, but there were still flares of pain, as there was with my shoulder. It was stiff, and I was in a sling for at least another day. And being in a sling, as part of Alberta's request (more like threat), was for me to be on desk duty. I hated desk duty.

And this is why I decided to take an early lunch break. I normally avoided a lunch break – I usually had someone else bring me food whenever they went out for their own break. Today, I was going to see Eddie, and Dimitri was tagging along. He had given me a ride that morning, saying something about how he didn't want me driving because my shoulder was stiff or whatever – I didn't really pay that much attention to what he was saying. I hadn't paid attention to anything this morning, really. For some reason, I was clearly not in the mood.

"You don't need to slam the door," Dimitri stated. Huh, I hadn't even realized I had. He started the car, and made a move to change the radio station, but held back. I expected him to start driving, but he didn't. He turned to me, a worried look all over his face. "Are you okay? And please, don't tell me bullshit. Something's going on, and you know that I'm here to listen."

Was anything wrong? No. I was just having one of those off-days, and that was because I was on desk duty. I merely shrugged in response. "I'm fine, and I'm serious when I say that. My shoulder is stiff and it's hard to move, and my headache is finally starting to go away." I tucked the necklace even deeper underneath my shirt. The idea of letting Dimitri see that necklace was embarrassing, even if I was pretty sure he had already seen it. Actually, I had no idea if he had, because as soon as we arrived at work, I had divulged myself into looking answering the hot-line, most of which were bogus tips. I hadn't even talked to Dimitri until I said I wanted to go and see Eddie. I looked at Dimitri, and while there was no pain etched on his face, it was written all over his eyes. We were in the very back of the parking lot and I knew that nobody was going to come out, and I took a chance.

I pressed my hand against his cheek tenderly, and he flinched slightly. I knew why he reacted that way, and that was due to the fact that we were in public. His hand moved up to mind, in an attempt to take it off, but as soon as his hand touched mine, Dimitri didn't remove his grasp. "I don't know why you're beating yourself up over that. You did what you had to do; you prevented a bullet from doing more damage than was necessary." While I bitched about this pain, I was thankful. Oh so thankful that Dimitri had done that.

"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just, I panicked. I didn't realize how hard I slammed into you." His words were sincere, and I could see the pain easing from his expression as he spoke. My fingertips brushed against his cheek softly, and he was starting to loosen up. Only now did I realize just how tense he had become talking about what happened; I had been in my own little bubble since I was discharged from the hospital.

"Comrade, you're kind of a beast." His lips twitched to form a smile, but he decided against it at the last minute. I moved closer to him, refusing to break our contact. I enjoyed being close to him; there was something about his personality that made me drawn to him. Finally, I was close enough that our bodies were merely inches from each other. "Thank you again. I don't know how well the hospital would appreciate me in the hospital, constantly bitching everyone out." The smile found his lips and stayed there this time.

"I've heard you call me a lot of things, but a beast is not one of them. I like that." His tone was husky, and I clamped my legs together. Did he really have to use that tone of voice right now? My fingers tightened, and he chuckled. Dimitri leaned in closer, and I was surprised at his willingness to take a risk in the parking lot, even if we both knew that nobody was likely to come by soon. He moved his hand off my face, only to move his hand to cup my chin. My body was quivering as his lips brushed against mine, and I finally closed the distance.

At this point, I was so sure that there was nothing else in the world but Dimitri at that point. The way our lips moved in sync was nothing more than sheer bliss, and I never wanted it to end. This was my true way of repaying Dimitri for helping me – for some reason, I couldn't come to terms with saying he saved me, because I didn't look at it that way. His hands were running through my hair, and I was repeating the motion. Dimitri was pressed up against the window now, and he was pulling on my hair and _Jesus fucking Christ._

"Вещи Вы делаете ко мне, Roza," He breathed against my lips and turned his head, indicating that he was trying to break the kiss. He would have pulled back, but he was currently trapped against the driver's side window. Trapped. I liked the sound of that. His accent was so much thicker when he was turned on, and my God, I was just about ready to melt right there. I backed away from his body with great effort, and settled against leaning up on the passenger's seat window, a smile on my lips. "How about we go see Eddie?" Dimitri wondered, his voice still a little husky. I didn't say anything and only nodded.

It took us a good twenty minutes before we arrived at the hospital, and a good ten minutes before the lady realized that we were even there, let alone police officers. Christmas time always had a lot of patients, but it still didn't change the fact that it was annoying. We were also in our actual police outfits, equipped with guns and pepper spray, but I also figured that the girl was new. I looked for Lissa on my way to Eddie's room, but found no avail in finding her.

I was elated to see that Eddie was actually awake. I pushed through the door, Dimitri trailing behind me, an amused smile on my face. "Edison! Now's not the time to think about me naked." I didn't even need to look to know that Dimitri stiffened at my comment with Eddie. He always hardened when I talked to Eddie like that, but it was nothing serious with Eddie. With Eddie, it was simply a joke – there was no double meaning behind it, as there was plenty of times with Dimitri. Eddie looked up from his book – a Western, I noticed, and offered me a bright smile.

"It's always a good time to think about you naked." He put down his book and I took a seat down next to him. I took the book from his side and scoffed at it.

"Taking advice from the Russian? I thought you had better class than that, Eddie. That's such a disgrace, Edison, reading a _Western_." Eddie shrugged, and Dimitri chuckled in the background. I turned my back to him and pointed at him. "I'm going to deal with you later." There was that double meaning in my voice, and a knowing glint twinkled in Dimitri's eyes. "I can't believe you, corrupting poor Edison here to read a _Western_. You finally show him some of Wham!'s single's yet? I know they're such a big hit in Siberia, but please, Comrade, not here."

"The guy's got a good taste in books, alright? I'm here for at least a week, so cut me some slack. It's either this or watching bad soap operas all fucking day because there's nothing else on television. Mia dropped by and got me some real food and some company, but it doesn't compare to your lovely presence." I snorted at his comment, glad to see that Eddie was back to his normal self; for the most part. The pain on his body was evident in the way held himself, and the slightly stressed out tone in his voice.

"So you decided to ask Mia out yet? I didn't really peg her to be into having a first date as a hospital person, but still, good job! It's about time you finally grew a pair of balls and asked that girl out. You and her have been pawning over each other for weeks." Eddie's face turned a light shade of pink, and I laughed. There was a awkward pause, and I finally decided to break it after a few moments. I ran my fingers through his hair. "How stupid are you, Eddie? I mean, Christ, you weren't even wearing your vest!" He flinched, embarrassed by his actions, but kept a soft smile on his face.

"It was for the sakes of not looking like I was pregnant." Eddie made a move to shrug, but stopped instantly. I never had a broken rib, but I imagined that it was pretty damn painful, especially since Eddie didn't have one broken rib – he had at least two. "It was sort of, ah, last minute," He admitted sheepishly, and I frowned. What the hell could be last minute that he doesn't think about safety? I raised both of my eyebrows (since I had yet to learn the trick about only raising one) and gave Eddie a stern look.

"That's such a bullshit excuse. Last minute? Jesse doesn't have a partner, so that means Casper didn't call in sick." I was curious now. What would be so last minute that Eddie abandoned his own case, that he was basically drooling over? Eddie was one dedicated police officer, incredibly so when it came to his cases. The fact that he abandoned his case to attend to an idiot's case was just appalling. Eddie's face darkened, and I knew I was treading in dangerous waters now.

"Drop it, Rose. It's nothing to worry about." There was a _back-off_ if I ever heard one. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and saw that Dimitri's police-officer face was on duty now. There was no emotion on his face. I wondered if he heard the tone in Eddie's voice? Hell, I bet he had – Dimitri didn't miss little things like that. I felt awkward with his hand on my shoulder in front of Eddie, but he said nothing. The tension between the three of us had just become even more awkward (although it was hardly my fault, that was totally Eddie's problem).

"The nurse just informed me that we need to go, because they're going to do some tests on Eddie." Eddie groaned, apparently these tests weren't all that great. I stood up from my chair. "I hope you feel better. Getting shot isn't exactly the funniest thing in the world." How the hell would Dimitri know? My mind raced back to our first night together.

_"Please, don't ever cut your hair." I tugged at his hair. Dimitri looked at me with a raised eyebrow, his body still pressed up against mine. I was currently on a counter top with my legs wrapped around his waist, panting heavily. But there was a full-fledged smile on his face, and I moved my hips slightly, feeling his member move against me. He groaned, and I bit my lip before he pressed his lips against mine._

_"Trust me, I won't," He replied, his accent thick. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back for a moment, letting my arms wrap around his shoulders. We stayed in that position for a few moments before I let my fingers roam his chest – an option I had yet to discover, for the first time we had sex was so animistic. But about halfway down his chest, just about two inches underneath his nipple, I noticed a rough patch a was about two inches long, and white. I frowned as my fingers traced lightly over it, and his hands grasped mine._

_"What happened to you?" I breathed, looking up at Dimitri. His face had darkened over. The whole atmosphere changed between us._

_"It's nothing."_

It was amazing how fast realization hit me.

The door shut behind us, and I turned my attention to Dimitri.

"You were shot."

**dimitri's pov.**

Realization hit her as soon as the words flew out of my mouth. It happened before I could stop myself, and I was starting to regret it. Rose wasn't slow – she picked up on things quite fast. I knew she picked up on Eddie's back off signal right away, as I had. That was another thought for another time – whatever it was, it was big. I figured we would know whatever that was about when the time came, but curiosity killed the cat for a reason. We continued walking before I answered her question.

"Yes." I watched her face fill with curiosity, and the memories kept on flooding back. That wound – the battle wound, more accurately, was the constant reminder of what happened in Seattle days before I requested a transfer. The scar was half of the reason I transferred. I took a deep breath as I tried not to think about Seattle. We were standing in the elevator now, and as she opened her mouth to say something, the look on my face told her to drop it. I was glad she could pick up on that hint.

We stepped out of the elevator, and she kept silent until we got to the car. We had only been there fifteen minutes, but that fifteen minutes held so much. I knew she wasn't going to ask about what Eddie had heavily hinted at until we were in the car, and as soon as I shut my door, that was the first words out of her mouth. "Did you hear what Eddie said?"

"What Eddie implied. I knew you wouldn't miss that." I started the car, and turned the radio station. She grimaced at my choice, but I swear I saw her nodding along to Video Killed The Radio Star. For once, she didn't complain. I know her head was too wrapped up in what Eddie had implied. "Roza," I saw the corner of her mouth twitch up into a smile. She loved it when I called her Roza, and I loved calling her that. "Let it go. When the time comes for them to tell us, they'll tell us."

"Another zen life lesson. Christ, you should write a book. 'Zen Lessons' by the Soviet," she mused, the frustration written all over her face. "But it doesn't make sense. Eddie doesn't abandon his case unless something big comes up, and Eddie certainly doesn't just go waltzing right into an undercover operation without protective gear. I'm just … confused." And worried, but I decided not to voice my input. I merely shrugged as we turned onto the main road.

"I don't doubt that you are. But Eddie will tell you when the time comes. He trusts you, and he's probably doing it out of protocol. I know you don't follow it, but the rest of do." Rose rolled her eyes, and I knew this battle had been won. After a few moments of driving, I pulled off to a little diner, for I knew she would be hungry. Her eyes lit up as I put the car to a stop, and I don't think she realized just how hungry she was. Tucking the keys into my pocket, we made our way into the diner, and settled on a small booth in the corner.

"We still have at least an hour or so before we have to be back, and I figured you'd be hungry. You're always hungry," I quipped, a small smile on my face. Rose stuck her tongue out at me in a childish way, and my hands gripped the end of the table. Amusement twinkled in Rose's eyes, and she gave me a devilish smile.

"You like what you see? We could ditch this place and go somewhere else, and I could show you just exactly what my tongue could do." I closed my eyes and leaned back against the booth. The things this girl could do to me was nothing more than amazing. After a second, I slipped back into the self-control, but the smile on my face was bigger.

"I love what I see. However, I know if we don't eat, you'll be hungry later. We can make up for lost time tonight." My accent got thicker when I stated the last part of my comment, and she picked up the double meaning in my tone. Her cheeks turned red – I think it still shocked her that I was capable of double meanings – and she focused on her menu, muttering something incoherently.

Lunch passed forward with light conversation, and we soon found ourselves on our way back to the compound. When we arrived, she divulged herself into answer phone calls, clearly upset that she couldn't be out on the field, like we should be. Instead of pondering over files, I decided to help Rose with the hot-line. The hot-line was always amusing, and full of people who had no idea what they hell they were talking about. On a regular basis, we got calls from people who were high enough to sound realistic, but only to discover that they were pointless leads. Whenever Rose was on the phone, I took amusement in flinging pieces of small paper at her, to which it became contest of who could hit the other person the most.

Hours finally passed, and we were on our way home. It was nearing seven o'clock when Rose decided she was done with her day. It was highly amusing how she just decided when her work was done – of course, it was always after the typical nine to five shift, and that's why Alberta never argued. Rose was good at what she did – very good, in fact. I shoved my report into my bag, and slung it over my shoulder, looking back at Rose. "Are you still coming over tonight?" Please say yes, please say yes, _please for the love of all that is Holy say yes. I missed you these last few nights._

She looked up and smiled. "Yup. Just give me a second, though. I need to make a call." That translated to that she needed to call Adrian to tell him she wouldn't be home until the wee hours of the night. Or perhaps not even at all. We had both decided that 'oh, I was just working on a case' could only go so far – especially if she 'accidentally fell asleep' at my house. But tonight, I had a feeling that she didn't care – tonight, she was probably going to wind up going to sleep. A smile spread across my face as I thought about that.

I shut the door to my truck, and Rose pulled out her phone. I did my best to focus on the radio – singing along to 'Don't You Forget About Me' by Simple Minds helped – but that didn't change the fact that I could still hear her conversation. She asked for Adrian, and a frown formed on her face when the voice – a woman – on the other end told her one second. I was still muttering the lyrics underneath my breath as I cast a look in Rose's direction. I probably shouldn't have done that. There was a pissed off look on her face, and I frowned. Finally, she sighed, admitting defeat – only after a string of profanities.

"No, thank you, Jill. I appreciate it, and if you could just tell him my message – yes, with all of those lovely words I just said – that would be great." She snapped the phone shut, and I gave her a questioning look, but she didn't see me. Her attention was focused on the road in front of us. Instead of opening my mouth to say something, I decided to keep it shut, and keep on singing to the 80s station. By the time the song had ended, we had pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex I lived in.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked on our way up to my apartment, the keys dangling from my fingers. She shook her head, and I sighed, knowing it would be best not to push the matter. Based off the looks she was carrying, I had a feeling that I would be the victim of her anger … but in a good way. Not like I was going to complain. She stepped inside and I followed, shutting the door and locking it behind her. She didn't even make it two steps before I took her into my grasp and pressed her up against my wall.

I could feel her squirming underneath me, and my body responded by shuddering with happiness. My lips were assaulting hers, and we were trying to find ways to become closer. It seemed impossible to get closer to her, but I knew that it was. Her legs wrapped tightly around mine, and I felt her hips move in a circular motion. I bit my lip to keep from moaning and eventually caved. She giggled, knowing that she had won. Normally, she would be the first to cave.

"You've been planning my demise, haven't you? You've been a bad, _bad,_ girl, Roza." Her body shivered, and I smirked. Two could clearly play that game. Her fingers wrapped around the tie, and tugged on it. Oh Christ, she was just adding on to what I said. Within seconds, the tie was on the floor, and she was making her way to unbuttoning my shirt. "Коснитесь a, коснитесь a, коснитесь меня. Я хочу быть грязным. Взволнуйте меня, охладите меня, выполните меня," I whispered into to ear, and I knew she was putty in my hands.

"What," she breathed as my fingers traced along the hem line to her pants. It was a sensitive spot for her, and she shifted her body underneath me, only hardening my erection further. "Does that mean?" She finally managed to ask, and I kept the smirk on my face as my lips pressed up against hers again, trailing up to her earlobe. I said nothing as my tongue flicked her earlobe, and I felt her shudder in pleasure again. At long last, I was in control again. My fingers traced along the top of her shirt, before undoing the first button, followed by the second.

That's when I saw it.

I titled my head to the side, a curious look on my face. Rose looked at me, and then realization hit her again – she knew exactly what I was staring at, and it wasn't her lovely chest or her lacey, and very skimpy, red bra. Her whole body tightened up, and her face was flushed. My brows pushed together as my fingers traced lightly along the shape of the necklace. "Сукин сын," I muttered against my breath. "It's beautiful," I managed to choke out. It really was beautiful, and it pained me. It didn't take two and two to figure out who had given that to her. I took a step back, releasing my hold from her. I knew I had seen something earlier today – a little glint from the sunlight, and now I wondered how I could have _not _noticed it. Then again, she had tucked it underneath her shirt … but why?

She released her hold on me as well, and untied her legs from my waist. There was a look of worry on her face, and she opened her mouth, but I put a finger against her lips. God, did her lips feel so good – I loved the way they touched my body – but at that moment, I felt nothing. "I'll be right back. I'll see you in the bedroom in a few moments." It was a pathetic excuse, but it was enough for me to rush into the bathroom and for her to look with a questioning look on my face. For all she knew, I just had to use the bathroom really badly.

Once I was in the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and ran the water. I took a handful of it and splashed it against my face, hoping that the cold water would help me. It shocked me, but just a little bit – it wasn't enough to stop my whirlwind of emotions. Why was I so upset about the necklace? Did I even have a reason to be so damn upset about that necklace? _No, Dimka, you don't. You're just the _other _man in her married life. _I took a deep breath, and sat down against the door.

I was the footnote in her happiness. Yet, I knew – I just _knew _that there had to be more to it than that. Did Adrian know how the sunshine gleamed from that damned wedding ring? I did. I focused on it every time I saw her. I told myself that I would never end up like Adrian, and yet, behind my back, I already was. I ran my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes. I just needed to breathe and calm down. Calm down. _Calm the fuck down._

I had only known her eight months and I already felt that she was different – oh, she was beyond different. She was intriguing, beautiful, annoying, and strong – all at the same time. Rose had captivated me in a way that no other woman had. Eight months ago, I would have told you that love was something that ceased to exist, that having an affair was horrible … and eight months ago, I would have scoffed at the idea of any relationship. But here and now, as I pictured Rose in my mind, I took back all those words.

An affair was a horrible thing – a horrible, horrible thing, and I felt bad for Adrian … but somewhere, deep down inside me, the monster in my chest purred. It was some sick satisfaction knowing that right now, I was the one with her – that I was the one who could do those things to her. I opened my eyes, and stared at white tile on the bathtub.

_Be careful_. Babushka hadn't been talking about my physical safety. She had been talking about my whirlpool of emotions. She had said nothing more, but the words she conveyed held so much – if I wasn't careful, the whole thing would go out the window, and I was going to be the one getting hurt. It would be a heartbreak like no other. Realization dawned on me as I put two and two together.

The necklace had bothered me so much because of how I felt about her. I cared for year. I yearned for her presence every time she wasn't around. I dreamed about her constantly. That, I knew, was a tell-tale sign of being in love. That's what my mother would say.

_дерьмо._

I was in love with her. To be honest, I was pretty sure I always had been – ever since those first few months of getting to know her. From those months on, I had been pushing those feelings aside – there was no way she could love me back. For fuck's sake, she was _married_. And yet, there I was, with the chance thrown right into my hands. _Thank You, God. _

I was in love with a woman who didn't love me back.

And yet, that still didn't explain that little silver of hope I had when I left my post in the bathroom and looked into her beautiful brown eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Вещи Вы делаете ко мне, Roza = The things you do to me, Roza.<strong>  
><strong>Коснитесь a, коснитесь a, коснитесь меня. Я хочу быть грязным. Взволнуйте меня, охладите меня, выполните меня = Touch a, touch a, touch a me. I wanna be dirty. Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me.<strong> **(Lyrics to "Touch A Touch A Touch Me".)**  
><strong>Сукин сын = Son of a bitch.<strong>  
><strong>дерьмо = Shit.<strong>

**BUT OH, THE SECRETS. THE LIES. Eddie, what could you possibly be hiding? You sly son of a bitch. ;D And Dimitri was shot? Oh dear, what happened in Seattle? GUYS. Let me hear your theories regarding those questions. I'd love to hear them!  
><strong>

**Until next time, my loves. Hit the review button, or Dimitri _and _Adrian die. Lolol you think I'm kidding.**


	8. Higher

**Well, look at that. Dimitri and Adrian live.**

**For now. ;D**

**But in all seriousness, I wrote this chapter today, all for you guys. Not only did watching Harry Potter inspire me greatly, the teaser trailer for 'Bloodlines' did as well. That and these ridiculously cute pictures of the guy playing Adrian and Jill. Oh man, the guy playing Adrian in that can have my babies any time.**

**Anyways, I should be back on a semi-regular basis. I don't have 'set' times as to when I update my stories, but there shouldn't be long periods of gaps ... that I know of. A few days, at the most, is all I can say. And to those of you reading 'I Don't Wanna Be In Love', that'll be my next update. I'll also be posting a new one-shot before I update this baby - but don't worry, the one-shot and next chapter of IDWBIL are actually almost done. Haha. ;D And for those of you wondering, I enjoy poking fun at my home-state. Then again, I hate the snow, so I'm not too fond of Alaska. The irony. One more year. One more year until I graduate.**

**Oh, and what can I say? I like lemonade. ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>chapter eight; "higher."<strong>

Four hours later, as I decided to leave, Mother Nature decided it was time to snow. It wasn't just some light, fluffy snow either – it was a full on _blizzard_. The winds were howling, and they had only started a little less than fifteen minutes ago. The problem with Montana weather was that it changed _fast_. I groaned, rolling over to face Dimitri, a frown on my face. I didn't like snow, and it didn't like me. Hell, I wasn't even aware that we were due for a blizzard, but apparently, we were. I looked past Dimitri's brown hair and out the window again, only to shudder and look back at him.

"It's _snowing_." Dimitri snorted. Way to go, Captain Obvious. He wrapped his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him. The look on his face told me he knew what I was going to say, but that didn't stop me. I was going to rant and bitch about the snow all I fucking wanted, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. I inched closer to him, our bodies pressed up against each other. The warmth of his body against mine felt nice. "I really fucking hate the snow. It's just, I don't know, _disgusting_." He gave a light chuckle, and the frown on my face grew bigger.

"At least you're not in Alaska. If you hate the snow here, then you'd really hate it in Alaska." He was probably right. I had been to Alaska – once, when I was thirteen – but I had gone during the summer time, and I had gone with my father because he wanted to hunting, and fishing, and it was because Alaska was apparently the place to do that. It had been beautiful, yes, but that was during the summer, not during the winter. I shuddered, and I felt Dimitri tense up as my body moved against his. I smirked.

"You been to Alaska, Comrade? Or is Soviet Russia close enough? Isn't the weather a lot like Alaska? Cold, dreary, depressing?" I was pretty sure I had asked him a question like that before, but I ignored that fact. I imagined Siberia to be a dry, barren, wasteland. He nodded, and I raised an eyebrow. There was obviously a story behind this one, and I was curious to hear it. "Seriously? You've been to the last frontier?"

"Yes. My first officer job was in Anchorage, actually. I was there for a year learning the ropes before I transferred to Seattle. And the winter in Alaska is a lot different that Siberia. Siberia's a lot more like here in Montana. I'm from the _southern _part, Rose. If I was in the northern part, then yes, it would be a lot like Alaska. But I'm not … though the winter in Alaska isn't terrible. Then again, I was in Anchorage, and not in Barrow, where it _did _reach negative 80." I shuddered again, and Dimitri pulled me closer to him, even if that was possible. "You need to stop doing that, Roza," He growled, and his accent was thicker.

I smiled, and then batted my eyelashes innocently. "What are you talking about?" I pushed back from him, and took the blanket as I shot out of the bed, wrapping it around me, leaving him completely exposed. I gave him a wide smile as I ducked into the living room. Only now did I realize just how hungry I was. Once I was in the kitchen, I glanced at the clock, noticing how it was only a little past eleven. I still had a little while before I should head home, even if I was going to head home at all. Looking in the cupboards, I expected Dimitri to be right behind me – but he wasn't. I hear what sounded like a police scanner in another room, and then a door slamming shut. Just as I pulled the cereal out, Dimitri appeared, in all of his naked glory.

"They just issued a category three blizzard at the station." Well, that was quick. Category three meant that nobody would be on the roads unless they needed too, and that pretty much, the city was on lockdown. Stores would be closed and everyone at work would be sent home, minus the hospital, the police station, and the fire department. Essentially, all the important departments that kept the city functioning would be out. There was an evil smile on Dimitri's face and a lustful glint in his eye. He moved closer towards me and wrapped his arms around my body, resting his head on my neck. "Guess that means you're stuck here. What a damn shame."

I put a hand to my forehead. "It's terrible. Absolutely heart-breaking. Whatever shall I do?" I asked melodramatically, a smile on my face. But that smile disappeared quickly as I looked outside. I could barely see out the window, and the weather was getting worse by the second. I sighed as I broke our contact, and moved to the kitchen table, where my phone was. I had a great reason for staying here, but I still had to let Adrian know. I picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number.

"_Hey baby. Jill gave me your message – it was funny to hear her swear,_" Adrian chuckled. I imagined it probably was. I had met Jill a few times – she was Adrian's assistant and had a quiet personality, even if Adrian said she was a God at being organized. Actually, Adrian had said that without her helping him at the office, he had no idea where he would be. She was nice, but she was slightly awkward. _"I take it you've seen the weather outside?" _I nodded, then remembered that it was pointless because he couldn't see me.

"That's actually what I'm calling you about." Next to me, Dimitri slid me a bowl of cereal, with a spoon and everything as he sat next to me. I mouthed my thanks and flashed a smile. "The station just put out a category three blizzard warning, hun. I'm not going to be able to get home until it downgrades. That could be some time." It could be hours, actually. It could be a day or two; that's happened before. It happened a month ago, actually. "Anyways, Dimitri suggested that I just stay here tonight, because it's already dark outside, and God knows what Mother Nature is going to do with the weather. He'll give me a ride to work tomorrow, and then I'll be home after that. Alright?"

"_Yeah, that's not a problem. I'm stuck at the office too, actually, so I guess that works out just fine. They just made the announcement on the radio about everyone staying indoors. Jill's not a happy camper._" Adrian laughed on the other end, and I could faintly hear Jill muttering. "_I'll see you tomorrow, then. I love you." _There was tug on my heart, and I opened my mouth to repeat his sentence, but I found out that I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

"You too, babe." Those were the only words I could muster out. My stomach was becoming upset, and I hung up the phone before he could say anything. After hanging up, I set the phone down beside me, and looked at the cereal, having a sudden loss in my appetite. Dimitri took my hand into his, and I took a deep breath. "You don't mind if I really do stay here tonight, do you?"

"Of course not. I prefer it, actually." There was a half-smile on his face and a soft look in his eyes. I recognized that look; he was concerned. "How are you feeling? Is your shoulder stiff?" I shrugged, which was my way of seeing how it was doing. It was slightly stiff, but it wasn't terrible – it was just a hindrance, that was all. I was pretty sure that my face had paled, and that was why Dimitri suddenly started asking questions. Instead, I just took the cereal and took a bite out of it, not really tasting the food itself.

"It's okay. I just," What? How the hell was I supposed to explain that to Dimitri? I just don't feel good because I just realized I can't tell my own husband I love him? That was an awkward conversation waiting to happen. Yet, deep down, I had a feeling Dimitri knew what I was thinking. He was good at reading people, but he could really read me like an open book. Not even Lissa could do that, and she was damn good at knowing my emotions. I pushed the cereal aside, and Dimitri stood up and placed his hands on my shoulders, massaging them gently. I closed my eyes, basking in his presence for a few moments.

It was then when the memories of early today came back to me, and I frowned slightly, and turned towards Dimitri. I had forgotten about our conversation right after leaving Eddie's hospital room, and I was yearning to hear the story behind it all. My eyes lingered to his scar, and I found my hands roaming his chest softly, stopping on the scar. Dimitri instantly stiffened, and his eyes darkened over; he wasn't stupid, he knew where I was going with this. "What happened?"

Dimitri paused. It took him a few moments before he finally sighed and sat down beside me, admitting defeat. He was already lost in a whole different world, and I knew this story was going to be hard. I took his hand for support, and his walls came crumbling down, one by one.

"It was a little over nine months ago. My partner and I, Ivan Zeklos, had stumbled across a domestic assault in progress. This guy was fucking nuts. He actually got an insanity plea." That was impressive; it was hard to get an insanity plea now a days. "He just started shooting, and shooting. Ivan went down first." He stopped, recollecting himself. I squeezed his hand, and he gave me a soft, half-worn smile in response. "The guy shot Ivan twice, and he was killed on the second shot." He was choking on his words now. "There were gunshots everywhere from that guy. He had an AK-47, too." I grimaced. "I was helping Ivan at that point. He was already fading in and out, but I was so _determined _to make him live … he closed his eyes, and that's when the bastard shot me. I had heard something, so I turned around, only to find him there. Before I could even blink, the bullet got me."

He had his eyes closed, and I moved out of my seat, making my way onto his lap to comfort him. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like to get shot – but I knew what it was like to lose a partner. I knew that pain very, very well, as sad as it was. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. His body was trembling, and I instantly felt bad for bringing up such a sensitive subject. I could barely talk about Mason – how the hell could I have expected him to talk about Ivan? That was selfish.

"I woke up four days later and spent two weeks in the hospital recovering. During that time, I was looking at stations that had openings all around the country, and I found Montana. I put in my transfer request as soon as I got back to work, and the request was granted a few days later…" He didn't need to finish his sentence; and then he met me, and our complicated relationship began. His body was rigid, and I placed my hands on his chest, rubbing soft circles into them. Dimitri was tense, he was hurting, and I felt terrible for asking him now. I figured it hadn't been that bad – I figured he had just gotten shot in a mishap … I should have realized there was a bigger story behind it. And yet, I knew there was more to it than just that.

My mind was plagued with thoughts of Mason. Suddenly, I felt guilty. The guilt was always there – if Mason hadn't been on his way to meet _me_, then he wouldn't have died. I stopped breathing for a second as I buried my face into his chest. I was grateful that Dimitri was my partner – I really was, but that didn't change the fact that I missed Mason dearly. He had been my first partner after Alberta had trained me, and we had been through thick and thin. I missed his personality, his humour that matched mine … I missed Mason in general. My heart gave a violent tug as I thought about my former partner.

"Roza," Dimitri breathed, taking me out of my memories. His lips pressed up against my ear, and I arched back. The way his lips moved against my ear had my body tingling with pleasure. He didn't speak for a moment, but then he did. His lips were soft against my ear. "I _need _you right now," he spoke softly, and every ounce of self control I had was gone. "Я должен быть в Вас. Я должен чувствовать, что я перемещаюсь в Вас. Я нуждаюсь в нас, чтобы стать один, моем красивом Roza." I had no idea what he said, but I knew it was sexy and inviting, just by how his voice changed into a deeper sound and his accent was making it almost hard to understand.

Our lips became one as we struggled to become closer, but I wasn't sure if that was possible. His teeth bit the bottom of my lip, and I moaned softly in respond. Dmitri's tongue worked _wonders _against my lips and the rest of my body. My mouth parted, granting him an entrance, to which he gratefully accepted. His tongue was exploring my mouth, and mine was doing the same. I was tugging at his hair lightly as he was wrapping his in mine. Dimitri moaned against my lips as I tugged down on his hair, and I smiled against his. After a few more minutes of our very heated make out session, he pulled away, a hungry look in his eyes.

"Turn around." I did as he asked, letting the blanket drop to the floor. He carefully moved the bowl of the cereal on the chair, which was a smart idea, considering I was pretty sure it would have fallen off the table, and snaked a hand around my waist. I could feel his erection against my thigh, and once again, shivered in delight. The things Dimitri could do to me were beyond comprehensible. I could feel him positioning myself at my entrance, and I moaned in anticipation.

"Dimitri, please," I begged, closing my eyes as I waited for him to slide inside of me. The agony was unbearable, and I heard him chuckle. It was clear that he was in control now; I was nothing more than putty in his hands. His hardened member slid against my sex, and I let out a low moan. The friction of his body against mine felt good. He wasn't even inside me and I was already tightening up, the heat between my legs radiating.

"You like that, don't you?" He whispered against my ear, leaving a trail of kisses down my neck. All I could merely do was whimper a pathetic yes, and he smiled against the nape of my neck. Instead of entering me like he should have, he continued at the slow, agonizing pace of rubbing his dick up against my clit. Fuck, it felt so good. He was going to bring me to my climax before we were even technically having sex. _Jesus mother fucking Christ, Mother of Mary_. His thrusting increased, and as my thighs clamped around him, he stopped. I didn't have to be facing him to know that he was smiling like a sly son of a bitch.

"Why'd you stop?" I pleaded, the tingling sensation settling in my stomach. Dimitri said nothing in response to my question, and I frowned. That changed instantly as I felt him slip inside me with one single thrust, and I gasped in surprise. Granted, we had sex earlier that night, but the feeling of him inside of me never changed. He kept on thrusting, increasing his tempo as our body rocked against the table. Yeah, it was probably a good thing that he moved that cereal. His pace became faster as I felt myself reaching my climax. I was tightening around him, getting closer with every single thrust. "Faster. Faster. _Fuck_, Dimitri, go _faster_."

He obeyed my wishes, thrusting inside me as fast as he possibly could. "Трахните Roza, Вы чувствуете себя так хорошо. Я хочу Вас к включая со мной ребенок. Я знаю, что Вы близки; трахнитесь, я тоже. Включая со мной. Я должен чувствовать Вас на всем протяжении меня." I made a mental note to tell him to start speaking English when we went at it, but as soon as the last word of his native tongue left his mouth, my release came. I moaned his name as loud as I could manage, panting heavily as my body pressed down on the table. Seconds after me, he reached his own climax, and lay down against me, still inside me. He brushed the hair back out of my ear, and his lips made contact with my earlobe again. "Я люблю Вас."

We laid there, his back pressed up against mine, sweating all over the table. I couldn't understand one bit of Russian, but I knew what Dimitri had said was incredibly sweet, based off the tone of his voice. After about three minutes, Dimitri moved and took my hand into his. My legs felt wobbly as I tried to regain my posture, and he chuckled to himself. "I think we should get some sleep. I have a feeling we're probably going to have to work in the morning." I frowned, knowing that Dimitri was right.

"What if I don't want to sleep?" I battled my eye-lashes and gave him my best man-eater smile. He kept his expression on his face neutral, which I was sure was hard for him at this point. Although, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I _did_ want to sleep. It sounded heavenly right now, especially with Dimitri's arms wrapped around me.

"Roza, I just took you from behind on the table. I think we've officially christened my house. And besides, I can tell you're tired. The look in your eyes is obvious. We've got a long day tomorrow, too. You know how people get after a blizzard." Was I really that much of an open book to him? Guess I was. I yawned, which only proved my point. Admitting defeat, I caved in.

"Fine. But I swear to God, if you wake me up when they decide it's safe for the rest of the world to come out of their houses, I will kill you." I gave him the meanest glare I could muster up, it wasn't working. Dimitri kept a straight face, but laughter was in his eyes. We laced our hands together, and he picked up the blanket I had taken off his bed before we made our way into the bedroom. Once we were in his room, we moved as close as we could together on the bed, listening to the wind howling outside. The weather had gotten so much worse in the hour we had been out in the kitchen. I snuggled my head into the nape of his neck, and he wrapped his arm around me. For the first time in a week, I had a peaceful sleep.

**later that day. **

Things at the station were, for lack of a better word, interesting. Over the course of my time off, three calls had come in – one assault, one potential rape, and one hit and run, a body dead on arrival. Being that it was New Years, the office was swamped with everyone trying to deal with their social life. And me, while I had been invited to a party that I had skipped out on last night, took it slowly. I was sitting at my desk, reading over Eddie's file. It was the case file about what happened when he had been shot, and what exactly had happened. I frowned as I read it. It wasn't making any sense at all.

For example, the biggest concern being Eddie going into something undercover without any protective gear. You never went undercover without _something_ hidden on your person. Eddie wasn't stupid – Edison was quite smart, actually. It seemed highly unlikely that he would just 'forget' something like that. Then, there was Jesse himself. He was working with Detective Alto on an undercover meth bust. The only reason Detective Alto (the ass, as I liked to call him), had even agreed to work with Jesse was because that was the area Jesse patrolled. Jesse was street-smart in that area, and was able to navigate in an undercover operation quite well. Jesse may have been stupid, but he had suppressed the undercover part of my class with flying colours.

But more importantly, why did Eddie decide to help out Jessie and Detective Alto? That was where I was most confused. Eddie and I were on the same page regarding those two: we were professional in the work place as much as we could be and talked shit about them behind their backs. Unless Eddie had been working with them previously – which I knew he hadn't, as Eddie was one of my close friends and would have told me if he was – he would have had to gone through Alberta to get approval to work on the case. I flipped the next page of the case file, which went into the description of Jesse's testimony and how Eddie got shot. It only then just dawned on me that Dimitri and I would have to appear in court to testify. Lovely.

I sighed deeply, admitting defeat as I flung the case shut. It was a cold-case, and perhaps Dimitri was right. Eddie would tell me what was going on in the near future, would he not? I prayed to God that he would. I pulled my new gun out of my hostler and put it down on the table, knowing that I wouldn't need it today. Not yet, at least. I wasn't due to patrol with Dimitri for a few more hours, and we were just waiting for our section of the city to be given the go ahead on snow removal. I closed my eyes and leaned back against my chair, feeling suddenly empty that Eddie wasn't at the station to give me shit.

I heard a click on my desk, and instantly jolted upright, only to find my partner staring at me with a cup of hot chocolate in his hands. My eyes drifted towards my cup, and I took it, feeling the scalding hot liquid against my throat. It was calming to my nerves. I took another sip, basking in its glory before attempting to make a conversation with my partner, but Dimitri beat me too it.

"Did you turn in your detective application?" I pushed my brows together, curious as to why he was asking me this. Didn't he know that I turned it in a little over three weeks ago, shortly before he had? I had him pestering me to do it and turn it in, and I finally snapped one day and did it all in half an hour, just to get him to shut up. I was thankful he did that – I wanted to be a detective _badly_.

"Yeah. Three weeks ago, remember? I broke down one day and did it in half an hour?" I laughed lightly, attempting to find a new comfortable position. I was incredibly sore from last night, and wasn't sure how long it would take before I would recover. Dimitri nodded, a knowing look in his eye. What the hell did he know that I didn't? I took another sip of my hot chocolate, not worrying about that now. His brown eyes moved to the case file on my desk as he took a seat opposite from me.

"I don't know why you're obsessing over the Eddie thing. Remember what I told you?" I rolled my eyes. I knew all about his zen life lessons and really didn't care for them, especially right now. I put my hot chocolate down and leaned back in my chair, wincing at how sore my body was. I could only thank Dimitri for that.

"Of course I do, Comrade. I remember a lot of things you said last night," I replied, wiggling my eyebrows. "My body's sore as hell. Thanks for that." The best part about my conversation with him was that it was causal; everyone in the station knew that Dimitri and I worked out together, simply because we sparred with each other. We actually physically fought each other, and it wasn't uncommon for one of us to come in with a bruise or two. To an eavesdropper, that's what they would think.

"Anytime, Roza." Last night had been interesting, but the peaceful part had been falling asleep in his arms. It had been so right… so natural. My lips formed a smile as I recalled the events from last night, as I was sure he was doing the same. To be honest, I had been completely unaware that last night had been New Years Eve – I didn't really care for the holiday, honestly – I cared for the parties. It had only dawned on me when Lissa asked why I hadn't come to the party, only for me to remind her that I had been snowed in. I certainty had a great time welcoming in the New Year, that was for sure.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, drinking our hot chocolate and listening to the hustle and bustle of the station. The winter holidays were finally coming to an end, and the routine would almost be back to normal – normal being used loosely. I had finally regained my comfort in my chair when I heard Alberta calling my name. "Hathaway! Belikov! I need the both of you in my office, _now_." The tone in her voice was urgent, and my breathing stopped.

What the hell did she need us for? The only time Alberta called in someone and their partner was to inform them of bad news or offer them praise. There usually was no in-between, although it happened on occasion. The worst situation possible thought went through my head: what if someone found out about Dimitri and I? It seemed impossible, but then again, nothing was impossible. Not only were Dimitri and I defying moral beliefs, we were going against the code of ethics at the police station. You didn't date your partner, or more importantly, you didn't date a co-worker. Although I had never found the actual written rule, I had been assured that it was there.

My hands were shaking as I looked at Dimitri, attempting to read his face. But there was nothing; of course there was nothing. His officer face was back on, letting no emotion whatsoever shock his body. His gaze locked with mine, his eyes softening. He opened his mouth to mutter something, but decided it against it at the last moment as we made our way to the Chief's office. Whatever it was, it could hardly be good.

And I was praying to a God that I didn't believe in that it wasn't what I thought it was.

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><p><strong>Я должен быть в Вас. Я должен чувствовать, что я перемещаюсь в Вас. Я нуждаюсь в нас, чтобы стать один, моем красивом Roza = I need to be inside of you. I need to feel me moving in you. I need us to become one, my beautiful Roza.<br>Трахните Roza, Вы чувствуете себя так хорошо. Я хочу Вас к включая со мной ребенок. Я знаю, что Вы близки; трахнитесь, я тоже. Включая со мной. Я должен чувствовать Вас на всем протяжении меня = Fuck Roza, you feel so good. I want you to cum with me baby. I know you're close; fuck, so am I. Cum with me. I need to feel you all over me.  
>Я люблю Вас = I love you.<strong>

**Dimitri, you're such a dirty Russian. ;D And what's that? Did he really tell Rose he loved her? Too bad she can't understand Russian. What a damn shame that is. And as for Seattle ... I'm surprised nobody guessed it, honestly. xD Yeah, that's the most of it - but that's not all of it. There's more, my loves. There's always more. It's a secret web of lies. Dun dun dun.**

**Now leave me your lovely reviews, or I kill everyone in this story. Lololol no joke. For realz.**


	9. She Will Be Loved

**Woah, this took a lot longer than I thought it would. Sorry guys! I went to Homer with my family for the weekend, and my laptop died. D: But I slept on a boat. That was cool. I had my own little bat-cave to sleep in. Haha. Anywho ... This is a long chapter. Funny enough, it's kind of a filler chapter ... but kind of not. It's actually quite important for the next chapter. ;D And when I say long, it's long. It's over 6,000 words. Sometimes, I can't help myself. **

**Ah, some of my facts are off, but that's okay. Forgive me; it's not like I've experienced these things (other than the vodka). Lol. Although, thanks to my program, I do know quite a bit about the legal process, and it's made Adrian's job a lot easier to write. Adrian, I missed you in my story. I'm glad you decided to stop being a bitch and make an appearance in this chapter. (:**

**Lastly, I would like to mention one more thing. _**I Heart Herondale Boys**_ (lol this stupid website isn't letting me do the periods in between the name. Epic failure) has started something pretty damn cool. It's called the "_Vampire Academy Awards_". For those of you in other fandoms, you can get the general gist of what it is. Essentially, what it is, is fans compile stories into one place, and the staff judges them. Nao guess who's a judge. ;D That's right, I am! It's exactly why I'm promoting this. If you would like to nominate a story, shot me a PM with the name and a link to the story! You can also send a message to_ **I Heart Herondale Boys, **kittenxkisses, Liliana 94, Lock Ness Monster 13, Nicia, Olivia Hathaway, Peace . Love . Pray, and Promise Me You'll Love Me. _We'd really like to get this thing start rolling soon, so send in your nominations! (:**

**And with that (not) shameless promoting aside, I give you chapter nine. :D**

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><p><strong>chapter nine; "she will be loved."<strong>

Being with Dimitri had eased my racing heart, but that still didn't stop it completely. The worst situation possible was running through my head, and I hated it. Actually, it just wasn't one situation – there were, at least, ten different, all horrible, scenarios going through my mind. They were all unpleasant, and most of them would result in … well, I wasn't going to think about that. The tremor in my hands wasn't nearly as bad as it had been when Alberta first called me into the office, but it didn't go away. I took a seat, Dimitri right next to me, feeling the bile rise up in my throat. I shoved it down, and took a deep breath, waiting for Alberta to start.

She stepped in right after us and took her seat in her chair, no emotion on her face. That was what was killing me the most – the fact that there was_ no god damn emotion _on her face. I bit the bottom of my lip in anticipation; I hadn't done anything wrong, had I? It was just us three in the room … and there were no internal affairs people, so that means… I had no idea what the hell it meant. All I know is that it was making me nervous and my stomach upset. At this moment, I was aching for Dimitri's tender touch – it would send my over-hyped nerves down the drain.

I was expecting Alberta to open her mouth and say something, but instead, she didn't do that. Instead, she reached down into a cabinet behind her desk, and produced two small black boxes. I frowned, and Dimitri raised an eyebrow. A smile crept on her face, and my anger was starting to boil. _What the hell was I in here for_? The Chief took the two boxes, and shoved them across her desk, one by me, and one by Dimitri. "Open it." I snatched the box, while Dimitri took his time. If he was flustered, I didn't have the slightest clue.

I almost dropped the box as soon as I opened it. "No fucking way," I muttered, and Alberta laughed. The worst case scenarios that had been running through my head vanished on the spot as soon as I caught a glance of the golden badge sitting in the box. It was beautiful; the shape that represented a sun was captivating. Within the 'sun' (or so it looked like), was a blue circle, which read "_City of Missoula, Police"_, written in gold lettering. Underneath that was the picture motto of our department and in completely the rest of the circle, '_Detective_' was written underneath that, followed by my number, 342.

"Are you fucking serious?" I could barely breathe. Alberta kept the smile on her face as I grasped my new badge. My dream was finally coming true, and I was only twenty five. I was expecting at least another year or two, but it wasn't unheard of for someone my age to become a detective. I turned to my partner, and noticed that he was trying to hold back a smile, but the corners of his mouth were twitching up. I swatted him on the shoulder, and he jerked back in response. "Comrade! It won't kill you to _smile_. Today is a glorious day."

"I am serious. Detective Valdez put in his retirement papers a few days ago, and Detective Cooke transferred awhile ago." I flinched, remembering _why _Detective Cooke had transferred. It wasn't a pleasant memory. "And given current situations, we felt that it would be prudent to make this happen … as quickly as possible." What current situations? I frowned, waiting for Alberta to tell me more – but she didn't. I clamped the box shut, the smile on my face growing wider. There was something thrilling about this that I couldn't even begin to fathom. Right now, it was just me – there was nobody else in that world. "I expect you two here tomorrow bright and early, because we've got a hell of a lot of paperwork and some things to go over. But for now, go home – celebrate with your family, do whatever it is that you do. That's an order."

My head snapped up, and I stood up. Instead of turning on my heels and leaving, I turned towards her desk, and gave her a hug, which took her by surprise. Alberta gave a chuckle, and ended the hug after a moment. "I'm serious. Get the hell out of here." She didn't have to tell me twice. I was practically rushing out the door and made my way to my desk, only to grab a few things that I need. Dimitri was right behind me, and I was glad that he was just as fast as I was, because I wouldn't have been too happy if I had to wait for him.

Once the car door slammed shut, I turned towards Dimitri. "You son of a bitch." He raised an eyebrow as he fiddled with the radio station, moving between country and 80s music. At this point, I didn't even care what he listened to. "You knew! You knew what she was going to tell me, didn't you?" I don't know why I didn't pick up on it, but the evidence that he knew was obvious now. He merely shrugged, humming along to the radio station. I didn't question how he knew, but didn't press the matter any further. The happiness in my body was radiating off the walls, I swear. I was practically bouncing in my seat and unable to contain myself. Thankfully, the ride home was quick.

"I'll call you tonight, alright?" Dimitri shook his head, and I looked at him in surprise. My stomach did a back-flip, and I found myself wondering what was up with that. Dimitri's face formed a smile at the look on mine, and he gave a light laugh.

"My mama's calling me tonight, so you won't be able to get through." There was something else he wanted to say, and his hands gripped the steering wheel. "Besides… you should celebrate with your husband tonight." I opened my mouth to say something, but Dimitri stopped me from doing so. "You've been at my house quite a bit for the past few days. If I was Adrian, I would have started tearing down doors at least two days ago." He chuckled at his last statement, and I kept my lips in a straight line. Dimitri was right – Adrian would probably start to get a little … un-hinged. Hell, he was probably sitting in the house drinking, if he wasn't at work.

I sighed in defeat. "You're probably right." It killed me to say that, and it was frustrating knowing that I actually had to go _home_. I bit my tongue to keep myself from saying something stupid, and put my hand on the door knob when Dimitri pressed his hand to my cheek. Instantly, the warmth flooded to my face, and I was thankful the windows were tinted. I didn't want to think of what Adrian would do if he saw this little interaction.

"I'm proud of you, Roza. So, so proud. You really do deserve that." He didn't break eye contact, and I almost melted under his gaze. My breathing faltered for a moment. It took him a minute, but the Russian regained his control and cleared his throat. "I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" I nodded, and his lips turned up into a smirk. "What a damn shame you have all that paperwork to fill out, too." I swatted his arm.

"Shut up. I'm trying not to think about that." I pressed down on the door knob, and opened the door. I stepped out of the truck before I turned to him, and gave him a bright smile and a wave of my hand. "Have a good night, Товарищ." I mimicked his smirk, and he frowned. Dimitri did not like the idea of me learning any bit of Russian. He rolled his eyes in response. "Yes, I did just call you _Comrade_ in Russian. Too bad Google Translators exists, then I wouldn't be learning your native tongue. What a damn shame." I shut the door behind me, a smile on my face as I trudged up the stairs and into my house.

I was actually a little surprised to find Adrian at the house, considering how I thought he'd be at work. I was more surprised to find Jill at the house, because I had only come across her at Adrian's office. I put my coat down, took off my shoes, and made my way into the living room, where the two where. I almost laughed at the site, for I had been in it so many times. Adrian had his paperwork all over the coffee table, a bottle of vodka on his left and dark circles underneath his eyes. He was also muttering a string of profanities under his mouth, and Jill looked equally just as frustrated. Her lips were pulled together in a tight line, and her brows were pushed together.

"You okay, babe?" I asked, taking a seat next to my husband. He was so focused on the papers that I wasn't sure if he heard me. After a minute or two, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him and planted a kiss on top of my forehead. I couldn't take my eyes off all the papers, however. They were case-files, some I knew, some I didn't. I wasn't aware that he got a copy of the case files… but then again, I should have known.

"Hey beautiful," He muttered against my hair, his speech slightly slurred. He _had _been drinking, then. Right now, I couldn't blame him. The weight he was carrying on his shoulders was evident - but it was still enough to annoy me. Jill gave me a soft smile and a wave, and I waved back. He pulled back, and gave me a sheepish smile. "Jill and I have been having one hell of a night, let me tell you…" I could only begin to imagine. I snuggled closer into him, letting him talk before I told him my news. There wasn't much, and I wasn't surprised at this. Adrian got this way when he was going to lose an obvious case, and that made him nervous. Adrian had a great reputation to uphold, and while he did have a few lost cases, it bugged him that he couldn't serve his client any justice.

"It's not just about losing the case," Jill finally piped up, and I looked at her with a questioning look on my face. I figured that much was true; that would explain the bottle of vodka. Losing a case was devastating for Adrian, but there was always something more that sent him over the edge. Her cheeks turned a faint pink (I assumed it was from speaking boldly), and looked down at the files. "Adrian lost his brief last night when the power went out. The generator didn't kick on, and when we got the power back, the computer's hard-drive had been killed from the shock of the power outage." She gave him a concerned look.

I barely knew anything about law, but having a husband who was a lawyer changed some of that. I knew a brief was important to preparing a case, and it would set back a whole trial… I also knew some other basic things, like how he was a criminal defense lawyer instead of a prosecutor … but after that, I got most of my information from the television, or what our D.A told us. A lot of it went in one ear and out the other, honestly. While I respected Adrian's job, I still couldn't fathom the idea of how he was for the _criminal's_ side. Or perhaps it was because my father thought I should be a lawyer… It was one of those decisions. I was just glad I wasn't a lawyer – I wouldn't be enjoying it like I did with being a police officer. Detective, rather.

Adrian snorted a laugh, a dark look in his eyes. "All ten god damn pages I wrote of that – gone! Fucking gone. Heaven forbid I didn't put it on a flash drive, because I left it here. Fucking hell, this is _bullshit_." I titled my head to the side, looking for answers. Jill's face turned into a small, sad, smile. From what I understood, she was his secretary – a few years younger than me - but she was planning on becoming a lawyer, once she got out of law school. Adrian said he'd take her under his wing once she graduated. From what I had seen, she did her job well, and truly was concerned for her boss.

"The judge wants the brief tomorrow." Ouch. I placed my hand on his and rubbed circles into the back of his hand, hoping it would calm him down. His posture relaxed a little bit, but it wasn't a big impression. He was still muttering a string of profanities underneath his breath, and I was pretty sure it was a combination of English, Spanish and German. He reached for the bottle of vodka, and I didn't stop him. Taking a sip, he looked down at the papers, and filtered through them.

"But enough about this," he stated after putting the drink down. I still had a hard time believing he could just down vodka without feeling the burn in his mouth. Every time I did shots with Lissa, the burn made my head hurt. Maybe it was a guy thing. Adrian turned towards me, a questioning look on his face. "I thought you had to work today? Why are you home so early? It's barely even noon. Are you alright?" He put his hand to my forehead, feeling for a temperature, and I smiled.

"I did, but Alberta sent me home. And yes, I'm fine." I reached into my bag for the box, and thrusted it towards him. "Open it." My body was radiating with happiness again. Adrian took the box and shook it, hearing nothing rattle around. He was skeptical; unlike me, he had no idea what that little black box was an indicator of. Finally, he opened it, and his mouth dropped into a little perfect 'o'. My husband looked up at me, and I smiled back.

"You're serious," He breathed, and I nodded. "You're fucking serious!" He pulled me into a tight hug, and I gasped, followed by a giggle. "Baby, that's great. That's amazing." He kissed the top of my forehead. His happiness wasn't faked; even though he was stressed out beyond all belief, it made him happy. He pulled away for a brief second, and my lips met his. The kiss was quick, but short and sweet. "I'm proud of you, my love. I know you've worked really hard to earn that, and you most certainly deserve it, with these crazy hours you've been working." Guilt stabbed my heart. His hand cupped my chin, and he looked me directly in the eye.

"Tomorrow, after I get all of this shit taken care of, we're going to go out, alright? Just you and me. Fancy dinner or some shit. Whatever you want." He kissed me again. My cheeks flushed, and Jill gave me a soft smile.

"Congratulations, Rose," She praised, and I beamed back at her. I jumped up from my seat, and took the box back from Adrian. I still had to get a holder to put the badge in, even though I was sure the station had one; but I didn't care. I didn't want some old, _used _holder for my badge. I wanted a brand new one. There was a little cop store in the downtown area, and I made a mental note to go there tomorrow. For now, I was damn hungry.

"I'm going to go make some lunch and get out of your way." I reached over towards Adrian's right, and grabbed the bottle of vodka. "I don't want to hear it. You need your head to be clear, babe. I think Jill would agree with you, would you not?" I turned towards her, and she gave me a nod. I smiled. "Even Jill agrees with me. Besides, _you promised_." I gave him a look, indicating that we would be talking about this later. An occasional drink I understood, but we had some major problems in the past when he drank under stress. He looked at me with his smoldering eyes, and I almost caved right then and there. I kissed the top of his head and let him go back to his work.

"I really am proud of you, babe." I gave him a soft smile and made my way into the kitchen.

**two & a half months later.**

"How is she?" I was breathing heavily, for I had just run two miles from the station to the hospital. I could have taken my car, but I decided that this would be my exercise for today. Running two miles wasn't that big of a deal, but it was harder to do in heels. I still managed, however. Dimitri was surprised that I had. Hell, so was Christian. Speaking of Christian, he was nervous – oh so nervous. His hands were shaking, and he was pacing back and forth.

"She's fine, I guess. She told me she's fine, but she's bitching and I can't do anything about it. She doesn't want the epidural, since she wants it to be natural, but I don't know." It was amazing at how much Christian really cared for his girlfriend. I was glad that he cared so much, because if he didn't, I would have to murder him and then bring him back to life so I could kill him again. His blue eyes looked up at me with worry, and I sighed, patting the seat next to me. He sat down next to me, and put his hands together.

"You shouldn't be worrying so much. I know she's a week late, but that's okay, because that means her birthday is closer to mine," I smirked. Christian's lips twitched upwards, and I smiled. "I know you're nervous, but you shouldn't be. Lissa's fine, and she will be fine. She's a strong girl. She has to be, since she's with you." That earned a swat on the arm. "I'm serious, Christian. What are you so nervous about?" He looked at me, fear written all over his face. I waited for him to speak, but he didn't. I titled my head to the side, the stray hairs blocking my vision. Then, I got it. It dawned on me pretty fast, and my mouth dropped into a little 'o'.

"Sparky, don't worry about that. Really, you shouldn't be worrying about that. That baby is going to love you – heaven forbid, that poor child." Even though this was supposed to be a serious conversation, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Christian was like the brother I never wanted – the sarcasm we both shared was something I couldn't shut away. But his face was etched with worry and skepticism, and I frowned. "I'm being serious. You have nothing to worry about. Lissa and that baby will love you without a doubt. You've already got Lissa's heart in a headlock." This was nothing more than a true statement. Even though Christian was worried about how his child would react to him, it was more than that.

A week ago, Christian had appeared at my house without a moment's notice, and showed me the most beautiful engagement ring I had ever seen. It wasn't simple, but it wasn't overly extravagant, either. He finally confessed that he was planning on proposing to Lissa after the baby was born, and had been saving up money for at least five months in order to buy the engagement ring. He had already gotten permission from Eric to take his daughters hand in marriage, and yet… he was still nervous. He was afraid of that rejection, even if I constantly reassured him that there was no way in hell that Lissa would reject him. Believe me, I would know – and I knew for a fact that she had been waiting for him to propose for over a year and a half.

Christian bit his lip and said nothing. His whole attention was on the door now, and he was waiting for the nurses to let him in. Ironically, Lissa had gone into labour while she was at work; it worked out perfectly, since she worked in a hospital. It had taken Christian a mere ten minutes to get to the hospital after Lissa had gone into labour, and I followed half an hour later. Adrian was going to be here as soon as the court session ended, which was around five p.m. today. It was currently three, and Lissa had been in her room since two. I didn't realize that she had to have so much done before she gave birth. Christ, I was not looking forward to that.

"Mr. Ozera, Detective Hathaway." It was nice not being address as Mrs. Hathaway. Detective sounded so much better. I was thankful that people never questioned why I didn't take Adrian's last name; it was so common now. Christian's head jerked up at the nurse – Natalie Dashkov, a family friend of Lissa's for years – and he waited for her to speak. My gaze followed, and I knew that this would be good news. "You can go back and see her. She's been asking for you since she was first admitted. Sorry we couldn't allow you to come in earlier." Christian was already past Natalie by the time she had finished her sentence, and I followed right behind.

When I walked in, Lissa looked like hell. Her body was rigid with pain, and she was drenched in sweat. I gave her a soft smile as I sat on one side of her, Christian on the other side. He wiped the hair out of her face, and he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. Lissa sighed. "This sucks. This really fucking sucks, Rose. I'm in so much pain, and I don't even have to push yet. Apparently I'm close, though. I haven't heard one damn thing the doctor has said; all I know is that this _hurts_ like a god damn son of a mother fucking _bitch_." I started laughing as I took her hand. Hearing Lissa swear always made my day. If Lissa was swearing, then I could only begin to imagine what I would do when I was giving birth.

"You're the one who wanted to go all natural for this birth. Not my problem you didn't want an epidural. I bet they could give you one if you wanted one." Lissa shook her head, and grimaced as another contraction hit her. Watching her going into labour made me never want to have children. _Ever_. It looked so painful … even though she didn't have a pain medication. I would have to be seriously drugged up to go through the kind of pain she was going through. Christian wiped the beads of sweat off her forehead as he gripped her other hand tightly, bringing it to his lips for another soft kiss.

"No. I'm doing this all natural; I don't care about the medicine. I need to experience this, and then next kid we have, I will be all fucked up on that medicine. I swear to God. This shit is brutal, Rose. Don't ever do it." I rolled my eyes. Tears were welling up in her eyes, and she muttered another string of profanities. Lissa was such a good girl, and it almost had me in tears to see her swearing like a sailor. I was very proud of her. I gave her a tight squeeze, and prayed that it wouldn't take long for my niece to appear in the world.

"I'll be having five epidurals, thank you very much. I'm not doing the natural shit – I'm not crazy like you, Liss. However, I love hearing you swear. It reminds me of just how much you've grown up." I faked a sniffle and Lissa squeezed my arm instead of swatting me, and I chuckled. "I try not to think about my future in here, alright?" There was a slightly bitter tone to my voice, and it dawned on me that Adrian would want to talk about the 'having children' issue again. I had told him we would talk about it after I was a detective … and now was that time. I looked down, letting the two love-birds talk. I didn't want to have that talk with Adrian. What the hell was I supposed to say? I ... I _couldn't _have a child with him.

Especially after all that I've done to him.

For the past two and a half months, I was still having my affair with Dimitri. It was a lot easier for us to spend time together without it being suspicious, since we were working so many cases together. Things had escalated pretty quickly, and Dimitri meant more than the world to me. But he was the one who was pushing for me to maintain the relationship with Adrian until I was dead sure of what I wanted. My stomach dropped as I thought about this. That little silver lining I was hoping I had with Adrian was disappearing quite fast, and I knew I couldn't hold onto this relationship much longer.

The question was just how _much_ longer I could hold out on it before I finally reached my breaking point.

Lissa gave me a tight squeeze on my hand, and her face flooded with pain. I didn't know how much longer she was going to be in labour, but I could only guess she was halfway through the whole process. I was praying that my best friend wouldn't have one of those labours that took over a day. I couldn't be at the hospital that long for her. Even right now, I was still technically on the clock. Shit, that reminded me that I need to call Dimitri and Alberta. I stood up, released my hand, and gave my best friend a kiss on the forehead, which was dripping with sweat. "I'll be right back. I need to call my partner and tell him I won't be coming back, then I need to call my boss."

"Tell Dimitri he's more than welcome to stop by after work, too. I've only known that man for a couple of months, but he's great." Lissa gave me a forced smile, and I smiled back. I had yet to tell my best friend that I was cheating on my husband. I had tried, countless of times, but it was hard for me to fully admit it. I knew that Lissa wouldn't take it _that _well – she would be pissed, but in the end, she would support me … even if she thought my decision was wrong. I turned on my heels and then stepped outside, pulling my cell phone out and dialed the familiar number.

"_Belikov._" Always professional, even if I was the one who was calling. I wondered if the ring-tone I had picked out had gone off in the station. I snorted at the thought of Say Right Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" playing from Dimitri's phone. I leaned up against the wall, and looked through the mirror at my best friend and her soon to be fiancé. They looked at peace, and I smiled. I wondered how long it would before tha changed.

"Comrade! I made it in heels. The run felt good. Such a shame you couldn't come. By the way, Lissa said you're free to stop by whenever you want." I paused while Dimitri laughed and I took another peak through the window. Lissa had her eyes closed, and Christian was running his hands through her hair, probably in an attempt to soothe her pain. "But hey, I won't be coming back in. I told Lissa I'd stay until the baby comes."

"_That's fine. I expected you too, anyways. Tell Lissa I'll be there as soon as my shift is over… which is going to be awhile. I'm finishing the last of the report on the Dawson case, and I'll have that turned in before I head on over there. Send her my best regards._" I nodded, and once again realized that he couldn't see me. It was slightly weird talking to Dimitri over the phone, because we mainly communicated through text or we talked in person. "_And I'm glad you made in your heels. You wouldn't have had my sympathy if you were taken to the hospital for a broken leg._" I snorted.

"Duly noted, my soviet. I'll see you in a couple of hours." With that, I clicked the phone and dialed Alberta's number. I spoke quickly with her, and she understood, being a grandmother. She had met Lissa at least on one occasion, and also sent her her best wishes. My boss also advised me of what was going to come, and I groaned in response. Our conversation was quick and short lived, but it was all I needed. Before heading back into their room, I checked the time, noticing that it was almost four thirty. Before I could put my phone away, my phone buzzed with a text message.

_Change of plans. I'll be there in a few minutes. The judge just yelled at the DA for getting off topic all the damn time, and I quote. He's sending us out early. See you soon! _I bit my lip as it suddenly felt hotter in the room. I didn't bother texting my husband back, and I made my way back into Lissa's room in order to control myself. The closer Adrian got here, the closer we would be to talking about that dreaded topic. With a smile on my face, I took my spot from earlier and conversed with my two best friends. I transferred the messages from Adrian, Dimitri and Alberta, and Lissa gave a pained smile. Her contractions were becoming closer.

Ten minutes later, Adrian arrived, and stood behind me, massaging my shoulders. It was very soothing, actually. "Did you let your parents know?" I finally asked, and Lissa nodded. Unfortunately, Lissa's parents and her brother didn't live in Montana. They had when Lissa was younger, but she stayed when she graduated, and the others moved back to New York City, where Lissa had been born. They couldn't be there for the birth of their granddaughter and niece, but they were coming up in a day to see her. I hadn't seen Eric, Rhea and Andre in ages, and I was ecstatic to see them.

Two hours finally passed, and Lissa was minutes away from being able to push. At that time, I had decided it would be best to leave. I loved Lissa with all of my being, but I had no desire to stay in there while she pushed a human being out of her vagina. The thought made the bile rise in my throat, but I shoved it back down. I was a detective – I had seen so much worse in these past two and a half months, but the thought of my best friend giving birth made me sick to my stomach. I told Christian to tell me when the baby was born, and Adrian and I made our way out to the waiting room.

As soon as I sat down, I started becoming fidgety. I wish I had brought something to keep me entertained; I didn't like playing the waiting game. I had no idea how long it would be before Lissa had her baby girl, and that thought made me nervous. On top of that, I was terrified of Adrian asking about that dreaded topic. I wasn't going to talk to him about that right now – maybe later, when I was ready. If I ever _was_ ready…

"I don't know why you're so nervous, babe," Adrian mused, and I shot him a look. He knew _exactly _why I was so twitchy, and he sat down next to me, and pulled his bag onto his lap. "Okay, maybe I do. Which is why I brought you this." I raised my eyebrows, and he dug into his bag, only to give me a book. I pursed my lips together and frowned, simply due to the fact that I wasn't an avid reader. The book was called "Feed", and from what I could gather, it was about zombies. Okay, it looked pretty good. "Don't give me that look, love. I think you'll like it. Jill was telling me about it, and it reminded me of something you'd watch on T.V." I took the book, and began reading.

I was on page 54 when Christian came bursting out of the delivery room with a huge smile on his face. He could barely form words, and motioned for us to follow him. We did as we were told, and I dog-eared the page in the book, and Adrian took my hand as we walked back towards Lissa's room. Only an hour and a half had passed since I decided to leave my best friend in her misery. So much had changed in that hour and a half. Lissa's face still held pain, but it wasn't as bad as before. Her blonde hair was drenched in sweat, but she looked happy. That was what was important – she looked happy. My eyes drifted down to the little bundle in her hands, and I gasped.

The baby was beautiful. She looked so much like Lissa, with a tuff of blonde hair and her facial structure, but her eyes were just like Christian's. And dear God, she was so small, too. The baby looked so fragile, and I moved towards the happy parents at a slow rate, not wanting to disturb anything. Lissa looked radiant as she held her baby girl in her arms, cooing to her baby sweet nothings. Christian was right next to her, an arm wrapped around her, also whispering to his baby girl. My best friend smiled when she saw me with Adrian in a tow.

"Do you want to hold her?" Those words held so much. I couldn't even begin to form the words, even though they were at the tip of my tongue. The answer was yes, yes I wanted to hold my baby niece. I had only seen her, and she already meant the world to me. Lissa outstretched her hands and handed me her baby girl. I wrapped her careful frame close to my body, holding her tiny head for support. It almost brought tears to my eyes.

"She's beautiful, Lissa. Absolutely beautiful. She must have gotten all of your genes, Liss, because she's pretty." I smirked at Christian, and he flipped me off half-halfheartedly. I shifted my weight back and forth, rocking the baby peacefully, humming a familiar tune. It was something Dimitri hummed whenever we were about to go to sleep, and it was damn soothing. I was pretty sure it was something of a Russian lullaby, too. Her blue eyes opened, piercing me with them. The little girl already had my heart; she was going to be one spoiled little girl. Adrian wrapped an arm around me, and I could just picture the scene in the future. Me, with my own little baby … There was just one problem with that little picture.

I shook my head and cleared my throat in order to distract my thoughts. "What's her name?" Lissa had joked about naming her child after me, and constantly assured me that she would somehow get my name into her future child's name. I believed her. I looked at my best friend, who had tears trickling down her pale cheeks.

"Kennedy. Kennedy Rose Ozera."

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><p><strong>Aww, isn't that sweet. Lissa had her baby. Too bad the next chapter won't be sweet at all. Er, I mean, lolwut?<strong>

**Ha. Bet you didn't think Alberta was gonna tell them that, now did you? Of course not. This is my story. xD And now I don't feel bad about writing another chapter for my Jill/Adrian story. You heard me right. That adorable couple, them. You should all go check out that story. ;D**

**Review, yes? My threats don't seem to be working. How about I just kill Eddie instead? That's completely plausible...**


	10. A Long Time Coming

**Lucky you, I've decided not to kill Edison.**

**But seriously, this is probably the fastest space between updates you'll get from me. I was so excited to do this chapter, so ... I started writing and I didn't stop. Hahaha. For the most part, this really isn't a happy chapter. The ending is, but the concept behind why it got that way isn't. But that's okay. :D Although, I do have two things to say: First, keep sending in nominations for the VA awards! For reals.**

**Second: About a month ago, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. It's at stage 1B, which is really good and really early. She's going into surgery on the 4th, and they expect everything to be okay. I'm not really worried about it (this won't hit me until three weeks after she has surgery, for reals), but ... you never know. If I disappear for awhile, it's because of an issue with my grandma. Alright? Okay.**

**Ha, I have two songs for you to listen to while reading this. One, _Lips of an Angel_ by Hinder, and two, _You're Going Down_ by the Sick Puppies. And yes, some of the dialogue is from _Lips of an Angel_. I couldn't help myself. Forgive me. **

**Okay, time to go work on my Adrian/Jill fanfic. My obsession. n_n;**

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><p><strong>chapter ten; "a long time coming."<strong>

Adrian and I stayed at the hospital for a little over two hours, cooing over the new baby. Lissa had fallen asleep about an hour after Kennedy had been born, and Christian was talking with the doctors, even though Lissa could probably take care of herself. Natalie had come by before we left to say that Lissa was officially on her six weeks of maternity leave, that she needed to have plenty of bed rest, and stated that she'd come over with her father, Victor Dashkov, when Eric and Rhea came by. Natalie and Lissa weren't related by blood, but they may as well have been. Victor Dashkov had been a family friend since before Lissa _and _Andre had been born.

It was a little before eight before we finally decided it was time to head out. Thankfully, it was easier than I thought it would be – Lissa was fast asleep and Christian was still talking with the doctors. Nobody else had showed up yet, and I was glad we wouldn't have to be making conversation. Right now, I was tired, and being in four inch high heels didn't help that. I had been up since four-thirty in the morning, having gotten called into a murder case, and had spent the better part of my day, up until Christian called me, pondering over the evidence with Dimitri.

The ride home was silent, which I was glad. At this moment, I didn't want to talk. My mind was reeling with thoughts about my little niece. It made me reconsider everything I ever thought about having a kid. The more I thought about Kennedy, the more I realized I _wanted _my own little baby to hold in my arms. And yet, the more my mind ran around in circles, the more I tried to shove those thoughts aside. My mind was plagued with the thought of me not being there for my daughter or son when they got older. My job was risky – I could die tomorrow, and my child would never … I bit down on my lip, not thinking about that.

After a few more moments, the car jolted to a stop, parking it in its usual parking spot at the house. As soon as we stepped out, Adrian laced his fingers through mine, and I closed my eyes, taking in the fresh, spring air. Thankfully, it was spring – I was so damn sick of winter. It may have been March, but it was warmer than it had been for the past couple of days. It was a sign that summer was coming, a season that I loved. That made me glad - out with the old and in with the new. I ran a hand through my hair, and sighed in relief as soon as we made our way into the house. My shoes were the first to go. It felt heavenly.

"I can't believe you wore those shoes all damn day. Don't your feet hurt?" Adrian laughed, and I shot him a look. He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me closer towards him. "I'll take that as a yes. But that's okay, because they make your legs look_ amazing_. Like they go all the way up to Canada," I snorted at his pick-up line, simply because it was a rip off from the television show _House_, which we both religiously watched. Kutner had made a comment about Cutthroat Bitch's legs … And ever since then, Adrian had felt the need to use that line. His lips perked up into a smirk.

Two years ago, that smirk would have had me acting as putty in his hands. Now, I looked at that smirk with a sense of … almost distaste. I closed my eyes, and replaced Adrian's face with Dimitri's, and suddenly, it was so much better. But my eyes peered open, and there was my husband standing there, not my Russian lover. I flinched, and Adrian noticed it. He always noticed it; my reactions to him lately had been sort of obvious. It probably didn't help that we hadn't had sex in a little over three months. Ironically, I had been having sex for the past three months … just not with my husband. Adrian, on the other hand … well, I had no idea. Adrian was faithful – he wouldn't be cheating. I knew that much. Suddenly, I felt guilty again.

That guilt didn't go away when Adrian pressed his lips against mine, and pushed me up against the wall. My body shuddered, instantly thinking back to the times that Dimitri had pressed me up against a wall for support as we went at it. Thankfully, from what I was aware, there was no difference between a sensual shudder and a nervous shudder. Adrian smiled against my lips, and ran a finger through my hair. I was kissing him back, but with nowhere near the same enthusiasm he had. My fingers wrapped into his hair, and I tugged on it.

It was so wrong. So dirty, and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I turned my head, pulling away from his kiss. At least I could play with the act that I was tired, because I was. How long would that act go before Adrian started getting suspicious? Shit, what had I gotten myself into? My stomach heaved, and Adrian let out a low chuckle against my cheek, and then pulled back. Thankfully, sex wasn't on his mind tonight – well, I take that back. Sex was probably always on his mind, but he had no intentions of progressing past second base tonight. I was saying prayers in my head as he pulled back.

We stayed like that for a couple of minutes, both of our hearts beating fast. His was from arousal, and mine was from nerves. He didn't even have to open his mouth; I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. The look was in his eyes that he wanted to talk to me about something, but he was nervous. His body language was an indicator, and that's why he held back. Having spent the last two and half months as a detective had allowed me to pick up on certain things, especially body language. He led us to the couch, and we took a seat next to each other. Adrian didn't reach for the television remote – he just sat there, his fingers tapping one by one across his leg.

"I want to talk to you about something," he finally said, and I pushed my eyebrows together. I faced him and my legs were crossed Indian style on the couch. I feigned surprise, even though I knew _exactly _what he wanted to talk about. My stomach churned, and I wondered if Adrian knew that I knew. "I know it's been a couple of years since we talked about this, but things have changed since then." Yup, it was exactly what I thought it was: he wanted to talk about children. I wasn't ready for this conversation. I never was … even though the back of my mind was screaming at me, telling me I wanted a child.

"Adrian…" He pressed his index finger up to my lips, indicating for me to shut up. I opened my mouth, but he gave me a look. It was his time to speak, not mine. The anger was bubbling up in my system, but I forced it down with one swift push. I was not going to fight about this; we were not going to have a fight over this stupid conversation. Yet, the more I thought about not having a fight, the more I realized it would be unavoidable. This wasn't going to go quietly.

"Please, Rose, let me finish. I know two years ago – or however long ago it was, I really don't remember – you said you wanted to have children after you became a detective, and then …" He paused, trying to rack his brain for what I had said. I couldn't even remember what I said. "I know it's a little sudden, and I know you've just become a detective… but after seeing you with Kennedy, and … I …" He paused, and leaned back against the couch, struggling for the right words. "Rose, I want us to have a child." There it was. He had finally managed to say it out loud. I ran my fingers through my hair, and looked away.

"I … I can't." I couldn't, or I wouldn't? That was the real question, and I knew the answer to it. How the hell could I have a child with Adrian when I was sleeping with someone else behind his back? I kept my gaze on the floor; I wasn't going to look at him. I knew his anger would be past a breaking point – he couldn't understand. How the hell could he understand what I was going through? It wasn't like he was being an unfaithful tramp. And ironically, that wasn't even the worst part about the whole child situation. _That _situation was something that Adrian would _never ever_ understand. His job was almost a nine to five job, while as mine … Well, it wasn't.

"God dammit, Rose, I don't see why you _can't_." I flinched. There was the anger I knew – it was only a matter of time. "You can. What the hell are you so scared of? You'd be a great mother, Rose. Just _seeing _you with Kennedy was enough to prove that." My head snapped up at his question. He really had no idea, did he? Maybe this is why being with Dimitri was so much easier; he was in the exact same position I was in. He understood the threats that I faced every god damn day, because he faced them as well. I stood up in a rush before I spoke, and I glared at my husband with cold eyes.

"What the hell am I so scared of? You have no fucking idea, do you? Of course not, how could you know? We barely talk to each other, and even when we do, it's nothing more than then a few simple sentences." That was harsh, and not exactly true. We were having conversations, but … but it hadn't changed in reality. I didn't want to look at him, but I kept the glare on my face as I forced myself to look at him. His eyes flickered as he stood up too, and the fight was escalating. I almost found it hilarious how I said I didn't want to fight my husband, and yet, here I was, initiating the damn fight.

"How the hell am I supposed to know what you're feeling when you're never home! You've been working fucking _psycho_ hours ever since you got your damn promotion, and even before then, you were still working all those god damn hours to get the promotion!" Actually, a week before my promotion, I wasn't. I had been spending my time at Dimitri's house, and I flinched, but I was going to hold my ground. I crossed my arms against my chest, and kept my face straight. _Keep your emotions hidden._I was taking a page out of Dimitri's book, and I would not falter.

"Funny, because I remember you starting that when you first got your job under Lazar." Two could play that game: he had been in the exact same position I was currently in, and I was pretty sure that this is what started the whole marriage crumbling. Or so I liked to think; I had no idea at this point. All I knew is that this, _this_, was painful. My words were cold, and Adrian's eyes flickered again. I probably shouldn't have married a man who had a temper like me, but we were young back then. He gave a cold laugh.

"I don't recall there being a damn problem when I started my job. I don't recall there being a damn problem until about three months ago, funny enough." I was shocked at myself for being able to keep my face straight. Dimitri had taught me a lot about keeping my emotions from faltering the past couple of months. I responded with a laugh that held no humour and pointed my finger at him.

"That's because you can't see anything but your job. You're the one who left on Christmas Eve, remember?" In reality, he had gotten better – I was the one who had gotten worse, having a promotion and all. Was it my fault that the criminals in Missoula decided now would be a great time to fuck with the new detectives? Adrian closed his eyes and sighed; he knew I was never going to let that one down. That was a broken promise, and when we first got married, we agreed we'd never break each others promises. No. Matter. What.

"You've been working non-stop for the past three months, Rose! At least I've realized I've been overworked, and have finally started getting my shit together." He was right; he had been a lot better about it. He had been calling me all the time when I was at work, asking me when I'd be home. The guilt attacked my body, and I sat down on the couch. I didn't speak for a moment, and finally, I managed to look up at him.

"I _have_ my shit together, in case you haven't realized. Do you know what I have to deal with every single god damn day? Just for instance, I had to wake up at four thirty this morning to go to a crime scene, which involved the brutal murder of a child and the rape of her mother. You have to talk about that shit – I have to _see_ it. Do you have any idea how _bad_ that shit really is? Of course not, because you'd never be able to handle it." My hands were shaking. "I see the worst shit possible every god damn fucking day I step out to go to work, and you're sheltered. I could _die_ tomorrow." I paused, my breathing heavy. "_That _is why I don't want to bring a child into this world. How the hell am I supposed to do that? How the hell could I bring a baby into this world, and then disappear the next day?" I dared him to question me as I stood back up.

"Of course I don't realize it; it's why I'm not a cop, Rose." Obviously. "I actually know where my boundaries are, and you're stretching yours." He gave another bitter laugh and he shook his head. "That's your problem right there. You're not living like you're going to die tomorrow, which could very well be the case." His eyes flickered with pain as he thought about that. Even if we were fighting, he still loved me. Was it possible to die by overwhelming amounts of guilt? He sat down, and he was admitting defeat. He didn't want to fight as much as I did, but the fury in my body had been unleashed, and I couldn't force it back down. I was _pissed_. "You know, when we got married, you never would have let that stop you. You were so _driven_, and now all you think about is your work. I understand your dedication, but that's _all _you do now. You used to not have a care in the world." He closed his eyes again, and then looked at me, his green eyes swimming in thoughts. "What the fuck happened to the girl I married?"

"She grew up, Adrian. That's what happened, and that's the difference between you and I." My tone was softer now, but the edge was still there. "She _had _to grow up, otherwise she would have cracked under the pressure a long time ago." I took a deep breath and Adrian leaned back against the chair, his eyes closing again. He was stressed out beyond all belief.

"Get out."

Those two words hit me hard. Did he really just say what I think he did?

"I'm not fucking around, Rose. Get the _fuck _out of here. I don't care where you go right now; I just need you out of here while I have time to think. "

Yeah, he really did. I just stood there for a moment, appalled. Normally, I would have been the one who said something like that. I had kicked Adrian to the couch many times, but I had _never_ kicked him out of his own house. I wasn't some dog he could put me outside and chain up. I glared at him, the fury in my eyes completely real. I was _not_ going to be treated like a dog. How… How _dare _he! Suddenly, I wished Lissa was out of the hospital. Right now, I needed my best friend.

"How _dare_ you. I have _never_ kicked out of the house when we've fought in the past, and now you're treating me like some dog that's pissed on the floor." I didn't recognize my own voice. "You know what? _Fuck you_. Fuck you to hell, Adrian. I'm so fucking _sick _of your shit." I turned on my heels, and made our way to our bedroom. All I could think of was packing, packing, packing. I grabbed the duffel back from the closet, and started stuffing the closest pair of clothes I could into the duffel bag (including some very sexy lingerie). Once the bag was near full, I made my way towards my dresser, and grabbed a few toys. Adrian and I had plenty of toys, and the fact that I was taking them wouldn't be that big of a deal. As far as he was concerned, I was going to be a very lonely girl for the next few days. After that, I made my way into the bathroom, and grabbed the closest make-up and other cosmetics I would need.

By this time, my bag was stuffed, and it had all taken me under five minutes. I was on my way out the door when Adrian blocked my exit. I glared at him. "Get the fuck out of my way." I moved passed him, but he kept his ground. I admired his nerve for trying to cross me right now; did he have a death wish? "Keep in mind that I have a gun and I'm not afraid to use it." My gun was underneath my jacket. I couldn't believe I had just threatened my own _husband _with my gun. Whatever, I didn't care.

"Babe, I-"

"Save it for someone who cares, Adrian. I repeat: get the fuck out of my way." He moved past the door, and I ducked right out. Currently, it was raining. Of course it was fucking raining; God hated me, and he wanted to punish me for my sins. I had a long walk ahead of me. _Keep walking, Rose_. I took a step foreword, out into the rain. It wasn't just raining; it was pouring. I moved towards the end of the driveway, the bag still swung over my shoulders, and turned left.

"God dammit, mother fucking _shit_," I breathed as I was hit with the full impact of the fight. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to stop the tears and dabbed the corners of my eyes, but it didn't work. Right now, I was thankful it was raining. I could cry freely without people wondering what the hell was wrong with me. On top of that, not many people would actually _be_ outside. I walked for about ten minutes before I came to an empty bus stop, and by that time, I was soaked. I set the bag down, and pulled out my cell phone, dialing a familiar number. It picked up after two rings.

"_Honey, why are you calling so late? It's kind of hard to talk right now._" It was probably only nine o'clock, and I frowned. Then I remembered that I told him I would call him earlier tonight … but things got in the way, just like they should have, because karma was a bitch. I hiccuped, and listened to the sound of the rain for a second before I answered. The sniffle came first.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier, things got in the way. But I can call you later, that's fine, I.." I trailed off, sniffling again as I wiped the corner of my eyes. Why the hell was I crying so much? My body was trembling from my tears. I opened my mouth to speak into the phone again, but Dimitri cut me off with a light chuckle.

"_Don't worry about it. I'm just talking to my mama on skype._" I sniffled again as I tried to laugh and tried to recollect my breathing. It was suddenly very hard to breath, and I slumped down on the empty bench seat next to my bag. On the other end, I heard someone speak something in Russian – it sounded like his mother, although I had never met her. Dimitri replied in Russian, and all I heard was my name. He was silent after that, and I knew he was trying to figure out what was wrong.

"It's really good to hear your voice," I managed to stutter out. It was true; it was great to hear his beautiful voice. His voice provided the condolence I needed right now. There was something in his voice that was always reassuring, even when he was upset. I sniffled again, and the tears were flowing steadily right now. Somewhere in the distance, thunder echoed the sky. Great, it was fucking thunderstorm.

"_Honey, why are you crying? Is everything okay?_" No, everything was not okay. Everything was far from okay, and the sobs started coming on fully now. "_Is Adrian nearby? Roza, where are you?_" His voice was laced with worry, and his accent was slightly thicker. He put his hand on to the receiver, and muttered something to his mother. After hearing her reply, he spoke into the phone again. "_Моя любовь, tell me where you are. I'm going to come pick you up. It's thunderstorming outside. Are you outside?" _I hiccuped, and he cursed in Russian.

"Don't. Please, don't, Dimitri. I just, I needed to hear your voice, that's all." I was being stubborn, and I knew it, but I didn't care. Dimitri cursed in Russian again, and it sounded like his mother was chastising him for it. A giggle escaped my throat, and I imagined the look on Dimitri's face: concern in his eyes and his two brows pushed together. "Dimitri, keep talking with your mother. Okay? Like I said, I just wanted to hear your sexy voice." He was probably smiling on the other end, and I heard his keys drop. At least he didn't track my GPS.

"_Roza, you're so stubborn… You know it's not a problem for me to come and get you._" I didn't want him to see me like this – weak, and out of control. More thunder filled the background, and I winced. It was getting closer now. Normally, I loved thunderstorms – but not right now. Dimitri sighed. "_You know I'm here for you. It really isn't a problem._"

"I know that." I hiccuped again. "Just don't worry about it. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Comrade." I didn't wait for his response; even if I wanted hear his voice just one more time. It was hard to say goodbye, but I managed to do it. My emotions were all over the place. I closed my eyes and propped my body up against the wall of the bus stop, knowing that it would be me, myself, and I. I don't know how long I stayed in that position, but it probably wasn't more than an hour. I only moved when my back started to ache and I felt that I could cry no more.

Finally, I moved again, and I stood up from my spot. It was still raining and there still was a thunderstorm, so I guessed I hadn't been in the shelter that long. I swung the bag over my shoulder and ducked out of my lovely shelter, and started walking. I had no idea where I was going, because I couldn't go home and Lissa was at the hospital… Suddenly, I knew where I wanted to go. The rain was hitting my face hard, and my hair was already soaked – and even though it was probably a good half an hour of a walk, I didn't care.

Half an hour later, it was still raining, although the thunderstorm had stopped. I trudged my way up the stairs to the apartment. The duffel bag on my shoulder was ten pounds heavier due to the rain, and I felt uncomfortable being soaked. My mascara had smeared and I had no intentions on fixing it, because it didn't matter. When I arrived at the apartment, it's not like he would care. I set the duffel bag down as I knocked on the door. After a minute or two and no answer, I knocked again, harder this time. I heard some muffling behind the door, and it opened up.

"Roza."

His words held so much. I was soaking wet and I didn't care that I was going to get him wet. I just ran to him and wrapped my arms around him. He seemed a little surprised, but that didn't stop him from wrapping his arms around me and stroking my hair, muttering my name like a prayer. I couldn't help it; I started crying again. I felt terrible for getting him wet and having my tears soak his tee shirt, but I knew he didn't care. I hiccuped again, and then pushed away after a second.

"Can I stay here for a few days?"

"Of course." He looked at my duffel bag, and picked it up, shutting the door behind him. I was just glad that he didn't question why I was here. A computer dinged in the background, and Dimitri rolled his eyes. I raised my eyebrows. "It's my mama. She's been talking for the past two hours." There was a smile on his face, and I managed a smile, too. I had heard a lot about his mom. "Go clean up, babe. Then, after that, I want you to meet my mama. She's been _dying _to meet you." Dimitri could always cheer me up, even on my worst days.

"Should I be worried?" I gave him half a smile, and he shook his head, setting my bag down by the heater so it could dry out faster. "That's good." He pulled me closer to him, engulfing me in a big hug. I wrapped my arms around him, and I didn't want to let go. After a second, he pressed a kiss to my forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he broke away.

"Go get cleaned up, alright?" He patted my ass, and a small giggle escaped my lips. A full-fledged smile appeared on his face, and I turned on my heels to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me, and looked at myself in the mirror. Damn, I looked like a mess. My whole make-up was smeared, from both the rain and my own crying, and my clothes were stuck to my body like glue. My hair was a mattered mess from the wind and the rain, and the way I carried myself wasn't pleasant. I sighed as I turned on the hot water. Seconds later, I undressed and stepped into the shower. The water was scalding against my back, and I didn't care. I was so numb right now that I didn't even care.

As I closed my eyes and washed my hair, I couldn't help the smile forming on my face. Right now, despite the current situation at hand, I felt at home. I felt complete, like the fight with Adrian didn't matter anymore. Just being in Dimitri's home made me feel _complete_.

And right now, that was all that mattered.

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><p><strong>Моя любовь = My love.<strong>

**Lololol oh snap. What's that? Half of the next chapter is in Adrian's POV?**

**Now, I would like you all to review. I've pretty much taken your soul now. Don't make me split it into seven so I can live forever.**


	11. Light Fire To The Gasoline

**Alright, I lied. This is the shortest distance between updating chapters, and I'll probably have twelve up tomorrow. I just can't stop writing. That's a good thing, though. xD AND OH MAN. Someone said Yeva should be played by Betty White on Youtube. Dude, I was loling so freaking hard. Oh my God, it was so funny, and then I could picture it and my goodness. It was brilliant!**

**Mhmm. Adrian, you're such a dick head, but I love you, which is why I wrote you for the first half of the chapter. And to EVERYONE who's been asking me about Adrian and Jill ... well, this answers your question. ;D Or at least, I like to think it does. It probably doesn't, but whatever. Mwhaa. You know me and my OTP; can't get enough and I just can't help myself. n_n; And I highly suggest while you're reading Adrian's part, to listen to the song _Shattered _by Trading Yesterday. (:**

**Oh, this was kind of posted in a rush, so I didn't really edit it carefully. Ha. Ignore mistakes; will fix later.**

**Lastly, to the anonymous reviewer;** To be honest, I can't really say what it is without giving away the ending. xD And it seems that most people were happy with the fight, hahahaha. Thank you for your review!

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><p><strong>chapter eleven; "light fire to the gasoline."<strong>  
><strong>adrian pov.<strong>

The door slammed shut, and I flinched. _What the hell had I done? _The answer to that was plainly obvious; I had been rude and had made an uncalled for comment towards my wife. I still couldn't believe the words had spilled out of my mouth. I had been thinking it, but I had _never_ intended to actually speak it. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair. I didn't mean to push the subject; I just snapped. I couldn't understand as to _why _she didn't want a baby… and then it really hit me. Her reasoning made sense, and I knew she was scared. She was scared because she might die tomorrow, and she'd never see that baby grow up. My throat closed up as I thought about that.

Cursing under my breath, I made my way to the kitchen. I figured Rose was going to Lissa's, even if she was at the hospital with the baby. It was either Lissa's, or her partners. I had met the guy a few times, and he seemed okay. Strangely enough, I had no problem with her staying with him, _if _that was the case. I assumed she'd be at Lissa's, because that's where she usually went. I pulled open a cabinet, and looked at the bottle in front of me. Rose and I had agreed that I'd attempt to be more of a social drinker, but sometimes, that just didn't happen. When a case got terrible or when I was stressed, I drank. This would be the later time.

I took the bottle and opened it quickly, taking a swig and felt the alcohol burn my throat. It hurt, but it felt so _damn_ good right now that I didn't care. My whole body was becoming numb, and I didn't know what to do. Taking another drink, I realized I needed to talk to someone. I dug into my pocket, thinking about who I could call… Someone who was as impartial as they could be, or at least, someone on my side. Then it hit me – Jill. I dialed the number furiously, and pressed the phone up to my ear. It rang three times before she answered.

"_What'cha want, boss?_" Hearing her voice just made me feel better, and I didn't think that was possible right now. I gripped the bottle in my hand, and I heard a noise in the background. I figured it must have been Jackson, Jill's two year old son. I admired her desire to finish college and law school with her son; she was a strong woman, and she just needed to realize it sometimes. Jill shushed into the phone, and I sighed.

"Do you think you can come over? You can bring Jackson – I don't mind. We can put him down in my room. I just… I need someone to talk to," I finally said, and I could just picture Jill titling her head to the side in confusion. I heard her speak to her son again, and I heard my name – I had no idea what she was saying, but I guessed she was asking him if he wanted to come over. Whatever it was, I heard a squeal before Jill answered.

"_Not a problem. We'll be over in a few… Jackson's not staying up much later, though. I'll put him to bed as soon as I get there._" She chuckled on the other end, and I took another sip of the raw alcohol. It had never been more soothing in my life. I was only twenty nine years old and I was raging alcoholic when it came to stress drinking. I guess I was taking after my father.

"Sounds great. I'll see you in a few." Thankfully, Jill didn't live that far away – a five minute walk, actually. If I guessed right, she would be walking here with her son. Figuring that it probably wasn't a great idea to have a gigantic bottle of vodka in my hand, I made a drink while I waited for her to arrive. It was pretty simple; 30% cherry coke, and 70% vodka. Normally, it would be the other way around – but right now, I just did _not give a damn_. I felt so guilty about what I had done. Tears started forming at the brink of my eyes, and I pushed them away. Five minutes later, the door rang. I quickly went to answer it, and found Jill's tiny frame in front of me, with her son at her hand.

I pulled her in for a hug at that moment, and I didn't care if she was my helper; right now, I needed a god damn hug. She stiffened, but relaxed awkwardly, and I let her go after a moment. I kneeled down towards her son and ruffled his head, giving him a small, sad, smile. He wouldn't be able to tell the difference. "Hey, Sport." He gave me a hug, and I chuckled. Jill and I exchanged greetings, and she made her way off towards my room to tuck her son into bed. I figured I could convince Jill to spend the night right now. Rose wasn't coming home at least for a few days. I choked on my drink as I thought about that.

Somehow, I managed to make my way into the living room, sitting down, the gigantic bottle of vodka next to me. I was going to wallow in my own misery. Ten minutes later, Jill's figure appeared, and she sat down next to me. "Adrian, are you okay?" It was such a stupid question, but I appreciated her for asking it. I had been working with Jill for three years; she could tell that I wasn't okay. I shook my head, and I pulled her in for another hug. My body was shaking again, and I felt miserable.

It didn't help that I was already drunk. I had been buzzed at the time I had talked to Rose. I may have made a promise, but that didn't stop me. Sometimes, I couldn't help myself. My drink at the hospital had looked like water – it was in a water bottle, after all… but it wasn't. It was mostly vodka, with a bit of rum and whiskey, and a combination of cherry coke. At that point, I couldn't help it. I _needed _it. It was the reason I had acted so rash, the reason the words slipped off my tongue before I even realized they had been spoken. It was no excuse for what I had done, but it was the reason behind it.

The tears began to fall, and Jill patted my back awkwardly. We stayed in that position for God only knows how long, and she ran her fingers through my hair. Her touch was soothing, and I felt myself regaining as much control as I could. It was harder to maintain said control when you were drunk. "Adrian, what happened?" My mind instantly flashed back to what happened; the offended look on her face, the storming out and the door slamming on her retreating figure. I gasped for a breath as I thought about this. Instantly, I pulled away from Jill, and looked away. It took me a second or two before I could look at her again.

And right at that moment, all I saw was her. The concern in her jade green eyes, the way her face was etched with worry – how she wanted to hold me again, but held back, for fear of making me even more upset. Suddenly, the shape of her lips were beautiful, and this had nothing to do with the alcohol. Without thinking, I leaned in, and closed the distance between us. The way her lips molded into mine felt wonderful; so natural, so right… Jill made a movement to pull back, but I pulled her closer, running a hand through her hair. It felt so _soft_ in my own hands.

She was kissing me back by this point, and I didn't want to stop. I never wanted this moment to end. At that point, it didn't matter that I was married to Rose. Rose. _Rose_. Shit. Her name snapped me out of it, and I pulled back, swearing at myself. "Fuck, oh, God, Jill, I'm so sorry." I forced myself to look up at her, noticing the red on her cheeks and how swollen her lips were. My hands began shaking, and the tears were forming freely now. I felt her tiny hands lace into mine, and I managed to look at her, but I tore away quickly. "God, I fucked this all up. I'm such a fuck up."

"Don't say that." Her words snapped me out of my own little day dream. One of her hands broke free from my grasp, and she wiped away my tears, a sad look in her eyes. I didn't know if it was from the kiss, or it was from how I was acting. "We all make stupid life decisions, Adrian. Shit happens; there's nothing we can do about it." The pain in her eyes increased, and I realized it was from the kiss. Obviously, she had a thing for me – she always had, but she knew that it wasn't going to work because I was married, and she had accepted that … Or so I thought. Somewhere, deep in my mind, I knew she hadn't. I gave her a bitter laugh.

"There's always something we can do about it, Jill. I fucked up real big this time, and I mean it." My eyes looked at the door, and then back at Jill. "I don't know if she's coming back this time. She … she packed her bags and left. I don't even know where she is; she didn't answer my call, and I all want to do is apologize for what I've done. It was a slip of tongue; I never meant to say it Jill, I swear." I was rambling now, and I was thankful Jill was here for me. Even if she was slightly partial to take my side, it was what I needed right now.

"You can't look at it like that, Adrian. It happened for a reason: everything in this world happens for a reason, whether it's good or bad. I don't know what you said to her, and I don't really know if I want to kno-" I stopped her, unable to let her talk without knowing what I told her. My chest tightened as I recalled the events of the previous hour, and I felt sick to my stomach. If I had been by myself, I would have been throwing up my dinner into the nearby toilet.

"I told her to, and I quote, 'get the fuck out.' I kicked her out of the house. I - I just _snapped_. We just got home from the hospital, after seeing Lissa's baby – her name is Kennedy Rose, by the way." Jill's eyes fluttered; she adored Lissa, like the sister she never had. The two got along surprisingly well. "And… Well, the thing is, a few years ago, Rose and I discussed having a child. She told me she wanted to wait until she was a detective, to which she now is. Stupid me, I decided to bring up that conversation. Seeing her with Kennedy … I just couldn't help myself. Stupid. Stupid. _Stupid_." I took another sip of the drink, and turned towards Jill, who waited with patience.

"And the fight went from there. We started going back and forth, and she finally confessed to me that she was scared of having a child, because she could die tomorrow. I told her that she needed to live life with no regrets, and for someone who was going to die tomorrow, she didn't act like it at all. I questioned her, and the fight…" I paused. I couldn't go on. My hands were trebling again, and I took another sip of the drink. That drink was my second savior, with my first being Jill. "I just snapped, and the words slipped out before I could even think about it. And she was _livid _pissed. I've seen her pissed before, but this takes the cake." I took a deep breath; I didn't realize I was breathing heavy, and my chest was starting to hurt.

"You were drunk." I flinched and Jill laughed. I gave her a look. "Don't look at me like that. I'm not stupid or naïve, Adrian." I thought I was pretty good at hiding my problem. If my wife didn't pick up on it, then how the hell did Jill? Then again, I seemed to be spending a lot of time with Jill, especially since my case load had increased. "I came across your bottle a few months ago by accident. I thought it was empty, so I went to clean it out. When I went to clean it out, that's when I smelled the alcohol. It kind of dawned on me then," She admitted sheepishly, and I understood why she never said anything. If I had been in her shoes, I wouldn't have said anything either.

We said nothing, and she gave a big sigh. "Oh, Adrian, I know you didn't mean to hurt her. I think Rose is in a very difficult place right now. I can imagine how she was with Kennedy, and when you brought up, it scared her. I think she's just scared, and tired. I know for a fact this morning that a little girl was found killed and her mother had been raped; I imagine she's working that case, and that happened at four-thirty this morning. Between that and being tired…" But she didn't get it. How the hell could Jill get it?

I never told her. I never told her about my constant fear that Rose was going to leave me, or the constant fear that our marriage was going down the drain. I knew it was – I could feel in my bones that this wasn't going well. Even when I had just gotten my job, we had tried to spend as much time as we could together. Now, we didn't do much – we talked, we slept in the same bed, and we sometimes went out to eat or watch a movie. Other than that, we didn't _do _anything. We didn't act like a married couple. I caught my breath as I thought about this.

My own marriage was going down the drain, and I felt that there was nothing I could do to stop it. Maybe Rose's parents had been right; maybe we did marry too young. I bit the bottom of my lip hard enough that I tasted blood. Rose and I were putting on a good façade, but I knew. I just _knew_ that in the end, this wasn't going to be pretty. My constant fears were driving me nuts, and that's why this was affecting me so bad. _What if she didn't come back? _I didn't say anything, and neither did Jill. All I could do was keep my lips pressed tight together.

And, against my better judgment, I pulled her in for another kiss. Right now, I didn't care. I needed to feel her lips against mine. She stiffened, but still responded. The kiss wasn't full of anger, like I thought it would be – it was sweet and passionate. It took all of my being to pull away, but I managed it. As of right now, there was no guilt in my system about kissing her. I took a deep breath, and Jill brushed the hair out of my eyes, her cheeks still flushed. At this moment, I really had no idea what I would do without her. She guided me to lie down on the couch, and I followed her lead.

I closed my eyes as I laid down on her, resting my head in the crook of her neck. It made me feel at ease, having her in such close contact. She wrapped an arm around me and stroked my hair; we said nothing. Jill was comforting me, and it was nothing more than that. I couldn't speak anymore, and I could barely even cry anymore. I was too numb to feel anything, expect for her hands running through my hair. I had no idea how long we stayed in that position; it was long enough that I fell asleep in her arms.

**rose pov.  
>that same night.<strong>

I stayed in the shower forever, when in reality, it really had only been twenty minutes. The hot water felt good against the muscles in my back, and I instantly relaxed. The fight that had happened an hour ago seemed nothing more than an upsetting blur, and I did my best to shove that out my mind, but it was hard. I couldn't help but wonder what Adrian was doing now, and if he was okay. He seemed pretty torn up about what he said … but that was no excuse. My husband had crossed a line, and that was final. I ran a brush through my hair, and cleaned off the excess make-up I didn't get in the shower. Once I was pleased with my appearance, I quickly changed into a pair of clothes – shorts and a tank top – that I had grabbed from my suitcase.

My heart was racing. It was safe to say that I was nervous beyond all belief. Here I was, meeting Dimitri's _mother_. Dimitri had told me many stories about the woman, and I already liked her, but that didn't change the fact that I was nervous. Did Dimitri tell her our current predicament, for lack of a better term? I prayed to God that he hadn't, but she knew about me. The ring on my hang suddenly weighed ten pounds, and I glanced down at it. The ring itself was beautiful; it had three rings, the middle one being the biggest, and reflected rainbows when the light hit it just right. Without thinking, I slid the ring off my finger, and placed it in the corner on the counter.

It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but that changed as soon as I stepped into the living room, where Dimitri was talking to his mother in rapid Russian. I felt the room become smaller as I took a step towards Dimitri and he jerked his head up, a full blown grin on his face. His eyes spoke legions, as always. "Mama, I want you to meet Roza," he said, switching back to English. My partner beckoned me to come forward, and I did, taking the seat next to him. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and I felt claustrophobic again.

The woman in front of me on the computer screen was beautiful. She was old, in her early fifties, perhaps, but that didn't change her sparkling brown eyes or her brown hair, which now held grey tints. Dimitri looked a lot like her, and I was now wondering what his sisters looked like – did they look like their mother, or their father? Dimitri's mother gave me a warm smile as her son rubbed small circles in my back, easing my nerves. "_Hello, Rose. I'm Olena. It's great to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you._" My walls were dropping one by one as she spoke. Already, I was starting to like her.

"All good things, I hope. It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Belikov. I've heard a lot about you as well. I think Dimitri's a mama's boy," I said as I smirked at Dimitri, who merely shrugged, giving me a sheepish smile. Olena laughed on the other end.

"_Please, call me Olena._" She turned towards her son, and something moved in the background. "_And I wouldn't expect it to be any other way. He's one of those guys who are very into their family, despite what you might think, isn't that right, Dimka?_" Dimka? What the hell was a 'Dimka'? I titled my head in confusion, and the two Russian's laughed. They knew exactly what I was questioning, and it was amusing.

"Dimka is my nickname in Russian." Oh, like Roza was Rose. But that still didn't make much sense to me; how the hell did you get 'Dimka' out of 'Dimitri'? It seemed so wrong, that the childhood nickname was commonly used for my Russian God. Olena had a bright smile on her face, and I was thankful that she wasn't one of those scary Russian mom's I had seen so many times on the television screen.

"Olena, then. And you guys have the _weirdest_ nicknames in Russia. I'll never understand it." The family laughed at my comment, and we then began a conversation that lasted for a little over half an hour. Olena was kind, thoughtful, and caring – a lot of qualities she had had been passed onto Dimitri, and I was glad to see where he got them from. Already, Olena was beginning to feel like a second mother, unlike how Adrian's mother had been. Adrian. My heart tugged as the line disconnected. It had been a couple of hours since the fight. My phone had been buzzing in the background, but I had ignored it when I was talking with Olena. Now that the conversation was over, I decided to check my phone.

Three missed calls; five texts – one missed call from Adrian, and two from Lissa. The five texts were all from Lissa. _Rose! This hospital sucks. Come visit me. :D _was the first one, followed by _You take forever to answer your texts_ and _My God, Rose, where are you? Is your phone on silent or something?_ and _I called you and you didn't even pick up your phone._ and lastly, _Okay, fine, ignore me. We'll be talking tomorrow, my sweet. :D _I chuckled as I read through the texts, responding to Lissa right away. _Sorry! Left my phone on silent. We'll talk tomorrow. Get some sleep, you'll be needing it. Haha. _I put my phone down, thankful that my idiot husband had only decided to call me once.

"I think I'm in love with your mom, Dimitri. She's so nice. I can't wait to meet her in person." My words were genuine, and Dimitri pressed a kiss on my forehead as I sat down next to him on the couch, snuggling closer to him as he turned on the television. "I mean it. She's like the mother I never had." Those were harsh words, but they were true. I rarely saw my mother, because of her job. Currently, she was working for the C.I.A – or last I had heard. I hadn't talked to my mother in a year and a half, and even then, it hadn't been pleasant.

"I'm glad you like her. She's going to try and come up soon, along with the rest of the family. They want to experience the Fourth of July, actually." I snorted at the comment, and Dimitri laughed. Fourth of July seemed like such a natural holiday to me, and it was weird to realize that others didn't celebrate it. I inched closer to Dimitri and pulled the Transformers blanket over us, instantly feeling warmer. The Russian had finally settled on a television show – _The Colbert Report_, which was one of my all time favourites, and we found ourselves laughing at Stephen's political satire. It was when the show ended that Dimitri started treading dangerous waters.

The show changed into something I wasn't familiar with, not watching _Comedy Central_ expect for the Gods that were Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Dimitri turned to me, a struggling expression on his face. "Do … do you want to talk about it? If not, that's fine." I pulled back as I pondered this. Did I really want to talk about it? I did, actually, but I couldn't bring myself to tell Dimitri what really happened. It would send him into a boiling outrage, and I didn't like the thought of that. In the end, I shook my head, and rested my head on his chest.

"No, I don't, really. It's …" I sighed into his chest, not wanting to go on with this. Dimitri took the hint, and began rubbing circles into my back. His touch was so perfect and exactly what I needed right now. I found myself moaning before I even realized it. Dimitri stopped and as I began to pout, his hands slid under my shirt, working my way up to my breasts. He finally reached the tender spot, and slid his hand under my bra, massaging my bare skin. I bit my lip. This wasn't going to happen this way; I didn't pack that lingerie for _nothing_. I jerked back, a devilish smile on my lips. I planted a kiss on his lips as I stood up.

"When I was packing, I packed quite a few things I thought would be … _interesting_." I wiggled my eyebrows, and Dimitri cleared his throat loudly. I flashed him my signature man-eater smile as I turned to head to the bedroom, where my dry duffel bag had been moved. Unfortunately, I didn't even make it to the bedroom door when my phone started going off, followed by Dimitri's. Mine was Alien Ant Farm's _Smooth Criminal_ and his was some stupid 80s song I didn't know, but I knew what it was an indicator of – that was work calling. We groaned at the same time, grabbing our phones. Eddie was on the other end of mine, his voice frantic.

"_I said move, god dammit! Do you have any fucking idea what you're doing? Fuck, of course not. Jesse, get the hell out of my way!_" I cleared my throat. "_Oh, hey, sorry, Rose. Zeklos is being a stupid mother fucker. Anyways, we need you down here. It's pretty bad. We think it's connected to your murder this morning._" That was enough to catch my attention. Finally, we had a lead to the murder and rape from this morning! I was looking through my duffel bag for my gun and my badge, to which I found in seconds. I pulled my hair up into a bun as Eddie kept on talking. "_They're securing the scene. They, um, it's bad. It's another murder and rape, actually. Same type of style as the last one._"

"Shit, really?" Fear flooded my bones as I made sure my gun was loaded. I looked up at Dimitri, and he was already off the phone; I assumed Alberta had called him. He had his badge around his neck, his gun in his holster, which he had put on, and car keys in the other. He was even already wearing shoes. Christ, it was fast. I grabbed my coat and slipped into my shoes as Eddie kept on talking.

"_Yeah. They finally just got the scene on lock-down, but you might have to be careful, because Zeklos is stupid as hell_." I laughed at that, because it was true. I followed Dimitri down the flight of stairs. It was moments like this that I was thankful that Eddie had been finally let back onto duty, which had happened a little over three week ago. I missed his humour when he called to tell me the updates. He sighed into the phone. "_You remember when I got shot?_"

"That's a stupid question, Edison, of course I do." Why was he asking me this? Was it …? I slammed the car door shut, and Dimtri flickered on his blue police lights in his car. Those things were amazing; they got us out of traffic jams in the blink of an eye. The lights were loud and annoying, but they were exactly what we needed. I even had a pair installed in the truck I had back my house. I bit on my lip and focused on Eddie finishing his statement.

He hesitated before he spoke. "_Um, well, you know how I told you to drop it? First off, I'm sorry about that, because it just wasn't the time to tell. But, uh, oh hell, Alberta will tell you once you get into the station, alright?_" I was officially and truly intrigued now. I knew there was more to Eddie's case, and I was glad that they were _finally _letting me be a part of it … even though it had been over two and half months since Eddie had been shot. That part was suspicious, but I didn't question it.

"Sounds great, Edo. I'll see you in a few, alright? Please, don't let Zeklos fuck up anything else, let alone the evidence. I will castrate him if he does that. Will you tell him that for me?" Eddie laughed, and he replayed the message to Jesse, who was probably covering his 'sacred area' right now. Suddenly, he stopped laughing, and turned into the serious cop. I had seen that side come out of him a few times, and each time, it alarmed me.

"_Yeah, he's covering his dick right now._" Only Eddie and Dimitri could say that with a straight face, though I was sure Eddie was chuckling on the inside. "_And Rose… Listen. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything you're about to get dragged into. I'm so sorry._" It made _Eddie _nervous. I looked out the window, and saw police lights off in the distance. We were approaching the scene that Dimitri had gotten directions too.

"I can see the lights of the cars, we're probably about five seconds out. And what are you so sorry about?" Now the question was to see if he'd answer me, even if I was sure he wouldn't.

"_Just promise me one thing, Rose. Please … be safe. Don't hesitate. Trust your gut instinct; don't question anything, just _act_._" He paused, and the car came to a halt. "_I really am sorry for dragging you into this._" The line disconnected, and I opened the car door, scanning for one of my best friends. He was easy to find, considering how he was yelling a string of profanities at Jesse. Sometimes, I wondered how Eddie even managed to keep his job as a cop. It was probably due to his ability work undercover pretty well, but _still_. I wrapped my arms around Eddie's next, and he sighed and shook his head. We walked for a moment, and the crime scene tape came into view.

"You look nice," Eddie snorted, and I swatted him in the arm. "Looks like you just got out of the shower. Nice shorts, too. They show off your _amazing _legs." I laughed. If it had been anyone else, I would have socked them in the face. Not Eddie, however.

"Good to know you're enjoying the view." I paused, and looked at the crime scene. Dimitri was off in the corner, looking at the evidence marked '3'. I frowned and turned back to Eddie. "Now what the hell where you ranting about on the phone?" Eddie stiffened, and his eyes darkened over. He pulled out of my grasp and titled his head to the side, worry dancing in his eyes. He ran his hands through his head.

"I told you; Alberta will tell you. Just… Okay? I can't talk about it anymore." By this time, his voice had turned into a soft whisper, and I made a face. Now that he had brought it up, I didn't like being left in the dark; that wasn't how I rolled. His gaze flickered down towards my left hand, and he took it into his, examining the tan line on my ring finger. _Shit. Shit._ I had forgotten to put it back on! "Where's your ring?" Think of a cover story. Think of a cover story. At last, I had one.

"I take it off when I go into the shower. I had only been out of the shower for like twenty minutes when I got called, and I was in a rush, so I just forgot." It was a smooth lie. Thankfully, my hair was thick enough that it was still pretty wet. Eddie seemed to believe the lie, and didn't question it any further, to which I was thankful for. He sighed and we went our separate ways; he went to the supposed 'witness' to take a statement, and I went over towards where Dimitri was, and I nearly gagged at the sight. It was anything but pretty.

The girl couldn't be any more than five years old. She had red hair and blue eyes, and a scared look etched upon her face. There were five bullets, one for how old she was (the last victim was four, and she had four bullets) – one at the temple, one at the back of the neck (which would have paralyzed her), one at the stomach, one on her leg thigh, and one on her right arm. I wasn't a expert on guns, but I knew enough to get by – but what I did know was that it was close range, and there were no obvious defense wounds on the little girl, which meant that they knew the attacker. I took a deep breath as I kneeled down next to my partner.

"Same MO. Alto's at the hospital talking to the mother. CSU is coming in a few minutes, but there doesn't appear to be anything out of the ordinary… expect for this," Dimitri held up an evidence bag with his already gloved hands. I reached for it, but he put a pair of gloves into my hands instead. Scowling, I put on the gloves to which Dimitri smirked, and then proceeded to take the evidence bag from him. It was a cigarette butt, which probably held no evidence unless this person was in the system. I took a deep breath and gave Dimitri a smile; a small clue like this meant that we had hope to catching this sick son of a bitch.

We walked around the scene and make notes, looking for anything else out of the ordinary. Much to our dismay, we didn't find anything expect for that cigarette butt. Hopefully, CSU would find more evidence than we did – they were the ones who found the fingerprints and strands of hair, after all. After half an hour, I finally told Dimitri that it would be better off if we just left CSU to do their job, and for us to head back to the station to figure out what the_ hell_ was going on. Alberta hadn't told Dimitri much, apparently – just the basics and where to go, while Eddie had told me a whole fucking story.

The crime scene was only a couple of miles from the station, and once we arrived, I practically ran into the building, glancing at the clock as I did. It was about ten thirty, which meant the night patrol would be starting in half an hour. It had been a little under three hours since our fight. How could h- No, I wasn't going to think about that right now. I flashed my badge at Mia, and pushed my way through the double doors that lead back to the work place of the station. Alberta's office was in the very back left hand corner, and between getting out from the car and too her office, I reached her in all about three minutes, Dimitri right behind me.

"Chief, what the hell is going on?" Alberta looked up from her paperwork and sighed. I reckoned I had a pretty pissed off look on my face, although it didn't take me much to look mad right now. I wasn't pissed, per say – I was just annoyed, and there was a huge difference.

"You might want to take a seat, Hathaway, Belikov… It's a long story."

* * *

><p><strong>I like the idea of Jill having a child. That way, Adrian can have more children in his life. All he wants is a child, honest. Poor baby. It's okay, Adrian, I'm here for youuu!<strong>

**Oh, yes, I am a Colbert/Stewart fan. Stephen ... marry me. (:**

**And oh snapz. What's going on? Well, you're just going to have to wait to find out. ;D**

**Now review. I've stashed three parts of your soul somewhere and unless you review, I ain't telling you where it is. Lolz.**


	12. Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

**Fun fact: I'm in a car. I'm going to my grandma's house in Soldotna. True facts. I've been writing non-stop. It's pretty awesome... and my uncle did the WORST turn ever. D:**

**With that being said... here's the big revel! The reason as to why Eddie was shot, and so much more... and another cliffhanger. Loll, sorry, bro, just can't help it. These chapters are already super long as it is! OH. Remember; keep sending in nominations! We only have a couple of stories.. and we need more. More is always good, guys!**

**To my anonymous reviewers...**

**clair95;** Sadly (and only I would say that it's sad xD), they did not.  
><strong>peggy;<strong> I've toyed around with that idea, and I just don't know if it's going to happen. I kind of find it to be a cliché … but it's what people want. But I don't know yet. Hahaha. I guess we'll just have to see!  
><strong>lynne; <strong>I JUST got your review, so I'm editing this chapter to put my response into it. (: I'm really glad you gave this one a chance and that it's something you like!  
><strong>briana; <strong>Same goes for Lynne... just got your review as I checked my email, so editing! But haha, they were. Such a shame work gets in the way. xD Thanks for the review! (:

* * *

><p><strong>chapter twelve; "ain't no rest for the wicked."<strong>

I took a seat and tapped my foot. I was anxious now; I just wanted to know what the hell was going on. From what it sounded like, it was a lot bigger than I thought it was. My fingers strummed along my leg as I waited for Alberta to tell us what the hell was going on. I didn't waiting, especially at a time like this. I looked up at my boss and noticed how much _older _she looked. Alberta was in her early fifties, maybe … and yet, she looked terrible. My hand clenched together.

"What I'm about to tell you isn't pretty, Rose. It's going to piss you off in more ways than you can imagine, and that's why we've kept you out of it for as long as we could. Unfortunately, we kind of need all hands on deck right now." She turned towards Dimitri. "Dimitri … I'm sorry, but this is going to piss you off, too. It goes back farther than you could ever imagine. I had no idea when you were transferred from Seattle …" She felt guilt. Why was she feeling guilty? Dimitri stiffened next to me, and I placed my hand into his. Right now, I knew that this action wouldn't surprise people – especially Alberta. It was something for comfort, and we were now scared.

"It started two years ago in Seattle. According to the narcotic unit over here, they started following a man who was selling drugs to kids; he was pretty much selling them all over the place." Dimitri nodded in understanding; he would have been an officer back then. He would have followed that case religiously. When he didn't say anything, Alberta went on. "They never caught him… until about a year later, back in February." Dimitri flinched. If I had my math right, this would have been roughly about the time Ivan had gotten shot, as had Dimitri. I knew that a transfer usually took somewhere between two to three months to process, which had put him here around May.

I squeezed his hand, knowing exactly what he was thinking of. February of last year was the month that Mason had passed away. I found it hard to believe that it had been just a little over a year since his passing. Tears formed at the corner of my eyes as I thought about this, and my boss continued speaking. Her attention was focused to Dimitri. "At the time you didn't know this, but you will now. When you and your partner, Ivan, arrived on scene, there were already two detectives on scene, undercover. The man who shot you was a partner of this man – who didn't have a name at that point."

I couldn't believe it. This was tracing all the way back to _Dimitri's _time in Seattle. This guy had crossed state lines, which now meant that the F.B.I. would be involved and ah, shit. I shoved that thought to the side; I wasn't going to think about that now. I focused on Dimitri, whose face was unreadable but his eyes were full of anger.

"The guy disappeared for three weeks before they finally found him. When they talked to the guy, he said nothing. He went to trial, and was sentenced to life in prison for the murder and assault of an officer." She sighed, and turned to me. "Around the time Ivan was shot, Mason started acting funny. Do you remember this?" How could I have forgotten? Mason had been paranoid as hell and jumpy, and hadn't come into two for a week straight. I thought something was going on with his family – he told me that his mother was sick, and he was just nervous and stressed out. I knew there was something more to that, but … I believed him. He had taken a whole week off in order to calm himself.

He had been back at work for not even a full day before he was killed by the drunk driver. My heart tugged at the thought of my former partner.

"Rose, Mason wasn't killed by a drunk driver. Mason was killed by the man who shot Ivan."

Time stopped.

The world could have fucking ending and I wouldn't have known.

"I... _What?_ Why the hell are you telling me this now? I was his partner! I had to the right to know what the hell happened to him!" I had stood up by this point, and I was crying now. All the evidence was there; it was a drunk driver, because of the way the car swerved, and the fact that it was a red light. The guy had fled the scene, but … but they had been _so sure_. I was shaking as I sat back down in my seat, and Dimitri rubbed circles in my back with his hand. I didn't realize he had moved closer to me. "Why didn't you tell me…"

"We didn't know. We didn't know until we put the pieces together shortly after Eddie got shot, Rose. We would have told you sooner, but we … we tried to keep you – both of you – out of this. I don't want internal affairs hounding my ass because the case suddenly went personal. You're a great detective, Rose, but you're slightly irrational and tend to jump without thinking." Her words were nothing more than the truth. I couldn't feel anything anymore. My partners' death hadn't been an accident – it had been in cold blood _murder_. Chief took a deep breath, and leaned back in her chair. "We don't know why they targeted Mason, but we believe it was for the same reason that Ivan was killed; he showed up in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Back in May, Detective Hernandez and Detective Alto picked up a case about a supposed 'drug lord'. He sold to kids, and he did all kinds of shit – your typical drug lord. They tracked him for eight months, and brought along the help of Officer Zeklos, due to his constant patrol in the area. By this time, Zeklos had managed to persuade the man to turn into our informant, due to a plea with his lawyer." My body flinched as she talked about the lawyer. I knew that lawyer. That lawyer had been Adrian.

"He was wearing a wire, but he never came in contact with the man directly – a man who we know now as Claude. Shortly before the deal when down, the man, named Christopher Andrews, freaked out, and started firing. That was night that that Edison was shot." She looked down at the papers on her desk, and then kept on speaking. "Edison wasn't supposed to be there that night, per my request, but he went anyways. He had been informed of what was going on about a week before, when Detective Alto enlisted Edison's help on looking for abnormalities on certain documents."

I remembered that; he had spent days looking over those damn papers. I had even helped him at one point. "When the bust was blown, Edison had been stationed there for back up. When the first shot was fired, he rushed out of his car, and thus, he got shot in the middle of the process." I closed my eyes and slumped back into my chair. Christ, no wonder Eddie couldn't tell me what was going on. Now that I was aware of this situation, I suddenly didn't want to know. "Three weeks later, Detective's Alto and Hernandez managed to get another informant … With the help of the F.B.I."

I grimaced. The F.B.I being involved in this was something I didn't want to deal with. Because if the F.B.I was involved, that meant my father was more than likely involved. He had a habit of picking up cases that were anywhere in Montana. Now, one was right in the middle of my backyard, and he was probably all over this case. Dammit all to fuck.

"An undercover Special Agent went in with their informant … and they found much, _much _more than a drug lord. Not only does Claude have a drug trafficking business, he's a human slave and sex trafficker, as well. It's an international business; his clients are mostly in Europe, but he's stationed in the States." I frowned, and opened my mouth to speak, but Dimitri spoke for me.

"Isn't this were the F.B.I would take over, though? It shouldn't be our case anymore – it's international now." Way to read my mind, Comrade. That's exactly what I was going to say. I was glad he said it before I had the chance too, because I knew my voice would be nothing more than a whisper. I don't even know if I could speak properly. My mind was reeling, and I was too busy trying to observe the information that my boss was telling me. Alberta smiled, a twinkle in her eyes.

"Yes, but I fought with them tooth and nail for it. I insisted that they needed our help, since this is our territory. While they are at the level of federal crimes, they still need to be charged here in Missoula, under our state laws, to which the Feds cannot do by themselves. They also need to face the domestic charges for assaulting a police officer, among other things." There was triumph in her voice, and I almost laughed. That was my boss, getting her way without having to be a complete bitch about it. Finally, after an eerie moment of silence, I spoke up.

"But what does that have to do with the two murders and two rapes? I don't see how that's connected." Alberta gave me a small, sad, smile.

"The first family is none other than Christopher Andrew's closest family. It's his sister and her daughter. The husband is out of town on a business trip in Boston. The second family is the wife and daughter of the F.B.I's informant." My jaw hit the floor, and I wasn't sure what to think of this. This itself was huge – beyond huge. It was so huge that I couldn't even comprehend. My body was shaking as I pondered this. It wasn't just a typical murder and rape case; it was a full blown, international _conspiracy_.

We were surrounded by silence as Dimitri and I tried to absorb this information. I could practically hear Dimitri's mind whizzing beside me, and I began to wonder just what he was thinking. I looked at my watch; forty-five minutes had passed since Dimitri and I walked into Alberta's office. Damn. I took a deep breath, my cheeks showing my stained tears. The time for emotion was in the past; this case was personal, but we couldn't let that affect us. Entering a personal case was grounds for internal affairs, and internal affairs were a _nasty_ business. They were ruthless there.

Alberta reached down into her desk and pulled out a piece of paper. It was crumbled and it looked like it had been put in water. She held it out to me, and I took it, instantly feeling different. There was something about this piece of paper that made me feel on edge. "Mrs. Ashford sent this in a little while ago; she said they recently found it in a scrap-book." My heart clenched. This was a note from Mason. I looked down, taking in his familiar handwriting. It was sloppy, slightly hard to read, but in the end, it was decipherable. It was also in German, which was slightly confusing. I knew that Mason spoke fluent German (and had pretty much taught me the language), but I don't know why he didn't write it in English. Was he afraid of someone reading the note? Why should he b- Oh, that's right. Wrong place, wrong time – Mase had never been stupid. He knew he was in trouble from the moment he found out. "Do you know what it says?" Alberta couldn't understand German; nobody in the station, minus Mason and I, could understand it to the levels we did. Eddie knew the swear words.

I didn't want to look at the words he had written, but I did anyways. My heart gave a tug as I remembered what Mason taught me in the German language. I couldn't believe that just a little over a year ago, his hands had touched this paper, and that he had written these words. The tears were already welling up in my eyes as they scanned across the paper.

_Rose,  
><em>  
><em>Ich möchte sie wissen, dass Ich liebe dich. Ich habe immer. Sie sind einer meiner besten Freunde von tag einer, zurück an der Akademie, und schon haben sie die Welten größte partner. Es tut mir so leid ich wollte nicht sagen, was los war. Empfehlen Sie Eddie tut mir leid, dass ich werde ihn vermissen. Er war mein bester Freund - ist mein bester Freund. Ich denke, ich sehen sie im Himmel<em>**.**

_- Mase_

It was hard to read what he wrote due to the smudging of the ink, but I had understood it perfectly. My own tears were now falling onto the paper, which just smeared the ink even more so than it already was. It was devastating because he _knew_ that he was going to die, and he never told me… But what would he have said? _Hey Rose, don't mind me, I'm probably going to die any day now… but you know, no big deal_. I probably would have laughed at him and told him to stop watching those horror movies he loved so much.

"Yeah," I finally said after a few minutes. Dimitri watched me with concern dancing in his eyes. "I know what it says." I couldn't stay after that. Instead, I stood up from my seat, mumbled thanks, and made my way out the door towards my desk. The office itself was almost empty – most people were on patrol this late at night, expect for the few filing reports. For once, I wished it was busy. If there was a hustle and bustle, then it would allow my mind to stay focused on one task, instead of allowing my mind to wander in dangerous waters.

I slumped down into my seat, and it never felt more comfortable. I felt so numb and so weak. I felt myself turning into a living zombie. I slammed my fist down on the table and muffled my screams. All I wanted to do was scream at the heavens. The note was still in my hand, but it was becoming crumbled again. I laid it on the table, and proceeded to smooth it out. It almost brought me to my breaking point, but I decided I had done enough crying for one day – enough for the month, actually. My eyes flickered towards my left, where a picture of Mason and I rested. I could still recall the day we took the picture.  
><em><br>"Oh my God, Mase, how are you not dying in this heat?" It was a brutal summer in Montana. The weather had decided it was time for a change, and was currently giving the state of Montana one of the worst heat waves in the past twenty years. I leaned back into the shade of the tree, hoping it would help. It did help, but not much. Mason responded with a laugh, and I could see the sweat damping his red hair._

_"I'm dying just as much as you are. You know what I think? I think they should have given us shorts for summers like this. And you could have short-shorts. Oh man, all the female officers with short-shorts. That'd be nice." He gave me one of his cocky smiles, one side twisted up more so than the other one. He was just imaging me in short-shorts, and I knew it. I swatted his arm, even if I agreed with him. The dark blue didn't help us repel the heat – it absorbed the damn heat._

_"I bet you love the idea of me in short-shorts, don't you? Or, better yet, you wanna see Stan in some short-shorts. Imagine those sexy legs," I replied, faking a moan. Mason's blue eyes widened, and I laughed. Detective Stan Alto was nothing more than a complete asshole, and we were pretty sure he was gay. He shook his head, and took another bite of his sandwich, making a gagging sound._

_"That's disgusting, Rosie. Absolutely disgusting. How could you say something like that? I did not need the mental image of Stan's scrawny ass legs in short-shorts. No. Just, no." I laughed again, and my eyes drifted towards our patrol car. It was empty, since we were on lunch break, but we still needed to make sure that no damage was done to it. We had decided against sitting in the patrol car, in order to save on gas, even if it did have air conditioning in this brutal weather._

_I propped my arms up on the table, and rested my head in my palms. I had finished my subway sandwich moments prior, and was currently waiting for him to finish his own sandwich. He was a slow eater. "You take forever to eat. My God. Aren't you supposed to be a man? I'm doubting that now. Hurry up, Mase. You shouldn't keep a lady waiting." I smirked._

_Mason snorted, checking on the patrol car as I had done moments previously. "Lady my ass. Only a true man eats as fast, and as much, as you do. Are you sure you don't have a pair of balls? Cause if you do, well, I'm sorry babe, I just don't have a thing for she-males." My mouth opened, appalled, and I smacked him on the head. He snickered, and I went back into the shade. At long last, he finished his sandwich. "There, are you happy? It's finished." He threw his trash into the trash-bin, which was located next to our table._

_"Fucking ecstatic, Mase. Now let's get back on patrol." We were supposed to be on patrol already, but Mason had decided to take his sweet-ass time to eat his lunch. I stood up, and he followed the suit, but stopped._

_"Wait. I have an idea." I groaned. Mason usually had some of the stupidest ideas, to which he normally played out with his best friend. However, when we were on duty, I became his partner-in-crime. It wasn't a bad thing, necessarily; it was just a burden sometimes. He pulled out his iPhone and walked over towards a young woman, and started chatting with her. I had no idea what he was saying to her, but she was being flirty and laughing with him. They talked for a couple of minutes, and then Mason beckoned me to come over to him. I hesitated at first, and then remembered that I had a gun I was legally allowed to use if I felt threatened._

_"Rose, this nice young lady said she'd take a picture of us." He flashed her a dazzling smile, and I saw her go weak in the knees. I took Mason for granted a lot, and it always seemed to dawn on me that he really was cute. He handed her his phone, and she fumbled with it. He took a step back, and I followed not really wanting to take a picture, but I did anyways. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. My partner grabbed his hat and tipped it, winking at the girl, to which I laughed at. I heard a click and saw a flash in the distance, and the picture had been taken._

_"Thanks, doll," he flashed another smile at the girl, and took back his phone. I waited a few feet away from them, my arms resting across my chest. They exchanged their goodbyes, and Mason turned me to me. "Girl's smart. She put her number into my phone. She was cute, don't you think?" I rolled my eyes as he showed me the picture. It was a good picture, I would give him that. "Oh, Rosie, look at it! We look so hot, don't you agree? I'm gonna blow this up and put it on my wall of fame."_

At first, I hadn't wanted him to blow up the picture, but he insisted. He made two copies – one for me, and one for him. That picture had been put into the back of my desk drawer, and stayed there for six months. I had taken it out hours after I found out about Mason's untimely death, and it never left my desk. A small smile appeared on my face as I looked at the picture; Mason looked so happy, and so cocky with his tipped officer hat and the wink on his face…

I turned the picture over and unhooked the back. I knew exactly where to put the note now. It would be somewhere safe; somewhere I could always reach it. I placed the back next to the picture frame, and folded up the note in a perfect square. It fit perfectly in the back of the frame, and I closed it shut, and put the picture back in its original spot. I gave a strangled sob as I looked at the picture once more, and rested my head on my desk, keeping my cries of pain silent.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I jerked up and found myself looking at Dimitri. He wore the same haunted look I did, but I assumed mine was worse. My hair that had been wound up so tightly in a bun was now loose, and I struggled to keep my eyes open. I believed it was easier for Dimitri to not feel so tormented by this, because he knew that his partner's death had been a murder, while I, on the other hand, had assumed it had been an accident. The law called it manslaughter.

Today was just _not _my day.

"I thought you said that son of a bitch got an insanity plea..." Dimitri frowned, and let out a string of profanities in Russian. The guy apparently got life, which was _not_ an insanity plea. Was that what they had told him? Even the people in _Seattle_ had lied to Dimitri. Or had they? He had spent some time in the hospital, and had put in a transfer request – they probably didn't see any reason to tell him what really happened to his partner. Who knew his past would come back to haunt him, just like mine had?

"That's what I was told." I didn't recognize the tone in his voice. It was cold and distant, and I didn't like it. He twirled the loose ends of my hair with his fingers, and sighed. "But I have an explanation for that. I just got off the phone with a co-worker from back in Seattle; you might know her, actually. It's Christian's aunt."

"Tasha? She works in Seattle?" I didn't know that. I thought the woman was nice, but I didn't practically care for her. I was a little shocked to hear that she was a cop, although. It didn't seem like her personality, but too each it's own. Dimitri nodded.

"It took some time, but I managed to get it out of her. She said they told me it was an insanity plea to keep me at ease, and that I wasn't the first one they lied to when it came to something like this. The case was locked to the public, and I told them I wasn't going to testify, because if I did, they'd have to hold me back from killing that son of a bitch." His laugh held no humour. "She said that they've been lying to others, that the whole system is pretty fucked up there. Tasha said that they would have told me if they had known I was going to have to deal with it again … but who knew? Who the hell knew that we'd have to be dealing with our partners' death later down the road?" He was musing to himself now.

I said nothing. How could I respond to something like that? I looked down at my badge, and felt the shame it carried. Internal affairs was going to kick my ass, I was so sure of it. The case was personal now – it was personal from the moment they killed Mason. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. I wanted to quit; I wanted to leave this all alone right now and let someone else do it … but I didn't. I wasn't a quitter; my parents would be ashamed of me if I quit. I – we – had to find this sick son of a bitch.

If we didn't find him, then who else would?

Ignoring my mind, which was currently screaming at me, I opened my eyes and pulled the first case over towards us. CSU had already gone over the crime scene, and while they were still testing some evidence, they had enough to give us a general idea. No forced entry on the house, and the only thing that was disturbed in the house was some of the furniture. Whoever the perp was, they used gloves, which left no finger-prints. They did find gunshot residue on the first victim's countertop, but it didn't say much. The bullets came from a .39 caliber pistol, one quite similar to gun I carried. If they were going to frame a cop, they picked an excellent choice of weapon.

We spent another hour analyzing evidence and our victim report, but the only thing that jumped out was the victim's statement. The woman, Carly, said that a man had knocked on their door at eleven o'clock at night. He flashed a badge and said that he was F.B.I, and he wanted to talk to her regarding her cousin's predicament. After that, that was all she could remember. Her mind was muddled from the blow to the head she received. Carly could barely even give us a good description of the person. All we knew was that he was male, probably late forties with black hair and green eyes. After that, we had nothing. _Millions_ of people had black hair and green eyes and were in their late forties. She constantly apologized, feeling terrible that she couldn't remember anymore, but there wasn't anything else she could do. It wasn't her fault the perp had decided to whack her upside the head with what we assumed was a gun.

Muttering my frustration, Dimitri took my hand into his. His fingers traced along right where my wedding ring would have been. He looked down, but said nothing – and I swear I saw his lips fighting a smile. But that disappeared quickly and I assumed I was seeing things. "Roza, do you want to go home? I don't really see any point in us staying, especially since CSU hasn't tested all of the new evidence yet." Going back home sounded like a great idea. I felt dead on my feet.

"That sounds like a great idea. I'm tired as hell." I yawned to prove my point. It didn't help that I was cold, too. I was still in shorts and a tank top, accompanied by flip-flops. It wasn't appropriate clothing for the time of night and my job, but I had been in a rush and nobody truly cared. I shivered, and Dimitri gave me his sweatshirt, which he had taken off awhile ago. It was huge on me, reaching my knees, at least, but it kept me warm. "I'll be right back; I'm going to go grab a few things from my locker, and then we can go, alright?"

Dimitri nodded, and I got up from my seat, making my way towards the locker area. The female lockers were in the female locker room, while the males were in the male's locker room. The locker room itself was nice – it was a light shade of purple, where as the male's was blue – and it wasn't dingy, like some would expect it to be. We took pride in keeping our locker room clean. The locker room was only a couple hundred feet away from my desk, and I was there in seconds.

I dialed my combination like a second nature, and soon enough, my locker was open. It contained my spare everything – uniform, holster, and boots, plus a couple of pictures on the door. They were mostly of Lissa and I, but there were one or two of Adrian and I, another one of Mason and I, and one of Dimitri and I. I stood on my tipey-toes, reaching to the top of my locker, groping to find what I needed. At last, I finally found what I needed – just my luck it would be all the way in the back of my locker. Feeling accomplished, I slammed my locker shut and made my way out of the locker room.

What I should have been doing is paying much more attention to where I was going. My mind was so full of thoughts that it was impossible for me to help it – this is why I liked focusing on one thing when my mind was plagued, because it kept the things I _didn't _want to think about out of it. I slammed right into someone without even realizing it until I stumbled back. Regaining my balance, I began the usual string of words that would come out of my mouth, but stopped as I looked up at the person who I had ran into.

He was tall, well built, and held a slightly tanned complexion that came from his natural background. He had black hair and a goatee, styled to perfection. He was going into his mid-forties, although he didn't look like it. I flinched, because I knew this person well. I knew this person like the back of my hand, and it was one person I didn't want to deal with right now. He held the same dark eyes that I had; the same dark hair and tanned skin.

"Hello, Kiz."

The man standing in front of me was my father.

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><p><strong>Mase's note: <strong>_I just want you to know that I love you. I always have. You've been one of my best friends from day one, back at the Academy, and you've been the world's greatest partner since then. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you what was going on. Tell Eddie I'm sorry, that I'll miss him. He was my best friend - is my best friend. I guess I'll see you in heaven._  
><strong><br>I personally like the idea of Rose knowing another language that isn't Russian. I took German (German teacher is Russian and named Galina. She's also a bitch LOL), so that's why I picked German. I wouldn't say that Rose is fluent, I would say that she knows enough to get around. I feel that the note was fairly easy to grasp what Eddie was saying, but I've taken German for three years, so I wouldn't know. D:**

**Mhmm. Is that Abe coming into the story? Why, yes, it is. Hello, Abe, I'm your biggest fan. ;D**

**Review... or I'll send Nagini on you. True factz.**


	13. Point Of Extinction

**Mhmm, first things first. One: I just started reading _The Hunger Game _series. I'm about fifty pages into the second book at this very moment. I was up until five reading the first one, after my grandma ushered me to be, sending me away from finishing this chapter. Oh. My. Fucking. God. How did I miss this amazing series until now? What the hell is up with _that_? So you know what that means? NO SPOILERS KTHKZ. I can talk first book... That's about it. D:**

**Two: I recently learned that my best friend might be moving from my town. Moving like, going to another State with the rest of her family, moving. Sadly, she doesn't really have anything in Dutch that would keep her there - other than me. And who am I to make her stay? She's got a better chance at jobs and schooling where she'd move too. Nothing is set in stone yet, but you never really know until the last minute. My emotions that I'm feeling tend to reflect in my stories, so forgive me if they get a little bit more fucked up then they would me. I don't think the last part of the chapter changed into a drastic tone, but it might have. This isn't intended, alright? For future reference.**

**Three: I have no life and made a Dragomir family on my Sims. I seriously have a teenage Andre, a child Lissa, and Rhea and Eric as adults. I also have child Christian with Lucas and Moria... and Janine Hathaway with child Rose. Do I have no life? Probably not. I'm have way too much fun with this.**

**Also, this chapter was kind of a bitch to write. I wanted it to end a certain way, but I went pass 5,500 words and was like "woohoo, fuck it!" So, it's not a cliffhanger. Well, much. Every time a chapter ends, it's a cliffhanger, but not like the last ones have been. Promise. (:**

**LASTLY, too my anonymous reviews and the ones who disable their PMs! (:**  
><strong>luv4dimka;<strong> Thank you! That made me smile. (: And ... like I've mentioned before, I see that as such a cliche and something totally expected, so I don't know if I'll be doing it. Perhaps. ;D  
><strong>clair95;<strong> Ironically, my updates had been super slow until recently. Since I'm about halfway through the story, the plot thickened and I finally had the motivation to just write write write. LOL. And, _**to make this clear to everyone** - _Tasha is not going to be in this story. She is just going to be mentioned. If I brought her in, I'd probably kill her. Actually, I might just do that. xD

**/end ridiculously long AN. in case you haven't noticed, i like listening to myself talk. **

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><p><strong>chapter thirteen; "point of extinction."<strong>

"Baba," I breathed. I was a lot closer to my father than I was to my mother, but that didn't mean I wanted to see him. Against my better judgment, I leaned into him for a hug, to which he chuckled at and patted my hair. Despite what my mind was telling me, I knew that deep down in my heart, I needed my parents right now. My father was a decorated F.B.I Special Agent, and my mother was some super badass C.I.A Agent; it wasn't like they had experienced something similar to this.

"It's great to see you, benim güzel kizim." I pulled away from the hug. "I assume you know why I'm here." Of course I did. I rolled my eyes as I put my hair back into a bun, suddenly feeling awake. I really was a lot closer to my father than my mother, because his job wasn't so damn secretive. We were also a like in nature; sarcastic, blunt, and slightly irrational, while my mother was more reserved and always thought everything out before she acted.

"It's great to see you too, Baba. And that's such a stupid question; I know why you're here." I looked around, and the hall was deserted. I was sure that someone had been there moments prior. Then again, seeing my father, you tended to get that feeling of uneasiness and that he was the person who broke kneecaps and got away with it. They didn't call him 'Zmey' at his F.B.I base in Washington, D.C. for nothing. "How about we go back to my desk, and we can talk there?" Of course, I didn't want to talk. I wanted to go home with Dimitri and sleep until five p.m. the next day… Maybe I could convince him to come to the house. "Actually, Baba, I was on my way home. How about we meet there to talk, instead? I can't be here much longer."

This was a true statement. Abe's eyes flickered towards my empty ring hand, and his eyes darkened over. Why was everyone freaking out about this? My heart beat increased, and I wondered if I could get away with lying to my father. It was true, though – I _did _forget to put it back on before we left. But, if my father was going to say anything, he didn't, to which I was thankful for. Unlike my mother, he thought the marriage Adrian and I had was a great one.

"That sounds good. I'll meet you at the house in five." He turned, and that's when I pulled on his hand to stop him. There was a big problem with that, because he couldn't go to the normal house I lived in with Adrian, because I wouldn't be there. I bit my lip, wondering how to explain this to my father. He was married; surely, he understood fights, right? Of course he did. When he and my mother fought, they_ fought_. Maybe _that's_ where I got it from.

"No! I mean, um, well, Adrian and I… We had a fight. It was really bad, and he kicked me out. Or rather, I stormed out, I don't know." It was embarrassing telling this to my father. "I'm staying somewhere else. Not with Lissa." He knew where Lissa's house was, too. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm staying with my partner, since Lissa's in the hospital – she had her baby a couple of hours ago." Abe hadn't met my partner yet, and I internally groaned. When he had met Mason, he had decided to take him on a 'hunting trip'. I never did find out what happened.

"Really?" There was that evil glint in his eyes, and I cursed.

"Don't. Don't do that thing you did with Mason. Please, Dad, not again." A smile played on his lips, and fought the urge to roll my eyes. "He lives on 342 Northern Lights, apartment 5B." With that, I said nothing else as I ducked passed him and made my way back towards my desk. What the hell had I done, inviting my father into Dimitri's apartment? I snickered at the irony. Hours before, I had just 'meet' Dimitri's mother, via the computer. Now he was going to meet my father in the living flesh.

When I got back to our desk, Dimitri was ready to go. He had a bag slung over his shoulders, and I knew it was full of the evidence we had and the reports pertaining to that evidence. I bit back my frown, because I didn't want to think about work for a good twenty-four hours, but I knew that wouldn't happen. We'd wake up and then get right back to work … for the most part. I sighed as I walked up to him. "I'm sorry."

He raised an eyebrow. "Sorry for what?" He readjusted the bag, and we started walking out of the station. I caught a glimpse of my father, and I saw him eye my partner. Great, he was assuming to see if my partner was 'worthy' for me. Why did he have to take the damn case? Couldn't they get him for a conflict of interest? As matter of fact… why didn't they get him for a conflict of interest? _Because if he goes, you go_. I grimaced as I thought about that; if I ratted out my father, that would be an indication for an investigation for me, and then I would be off the case. I couldn't be off this case.

"My father's here. He's that big, scary looking, F.B.I Special Agent. He, um, he wants to talk to me. About the case, because he's been put on the F.B.I one… and I, uh, invited him over to ... talk." I flinched away from Dimitri, but forced myself to look at him, at least out of the corner of my eye. He stopped dead in his tracks, and I was afraid of what he would do. This time, I couldn't read any emotion on his face or in his eyes. His perfect lips were pressed into a straight line, and after a minute, he started walking again.

"That's fine. I guess it's only far, since you've met my mother," Dimitri replied with a light laugh, although I knew it was forced. He didn't like the idea of meeting my father … although I couldn't understand why. Sure, Abe looked intimidating … and he was a decorated Special Agent … Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I should have asked Dimitri if it was already that I invited him over, but I didn't know. I didn't want to think about it. As we stepped into the car, I didn't even bother bitching about his choice in music. I was focused on the scenery out the window.

When we arrived at Dimitri's apartment, Abe was already there. Dimitri kept his face impassive as the two shook hands and exchanged a forced greeting. I was already halfway up the stairs before they realized I had gone ahead without them. Sadly, I didn't have the key, and had to wait for Dimitri to come and let us in. It wasn't cold outside, but when I stepped into the house, I felt warmer, and more at ease, despite the fact that my father was following us. Dimitri walked past me and put the bag on the counter. He took off his holster and hung it up, the gun still in it, and hung up his badge right next to him.

I decided it would be best for me to follow the suit, and hung up my badge and holster as well. After that, I took a seat across from my father on the dining room table. I watched his dark eyes scan the place; he was making notes in his head and silently judging. It was amazing that my father could still make me feel like I was five years old, and I hadn't even said anything to him. Moments later, Dimitri slid into the seat next to me, and squeezed my hand for a second before letting me go. I could have cut the tension with a knife. It took my father a few minutes to speak.

"I don't want you taking that case. It's not safe, kiz." I glared at him, and Dimitri placed a hand on my arm, cooling me down instant. The effect this man had on me was nothing more than amazing. Adrian used to have that … and that was all out the window now. Adrian. Shit. I needed to call him. I was still pissed as hell, but he had to know – he _had_ to know what was going on… I kept the look on my face as my father went on. "I mean it. We've been tracking Claude for a little over three years now. He's dangerous, and he _will_ kill you, and everyone you ever cared about."

I snorted. "It's not safe? Baba, my _job_ isn't safe. I know that you and mom were never happy with my job choice-" Abe wanted me to be a lawyer and my mom wanted me to stay far, far, _far _away from law enforcement. "- But that just didn't happen. This is my job. It's what I do. We can catch this son of a bitch. And you wanna talk to me about not taking this case? Really, Abe?" I only used his real name when I was frustrated. "Isn't this a conflict of interest for you?"

"Isn't this a conflict of interest for _you_?" His eyes dared me to question him. I really wished Dimitri was in the other room, focusing on something else.

"Not like it is for you. They already found my partner's killer. He's in jail, actually. I'm trying to find the murderer who killed two little girls and raped their mothers. _That's_ what I'm trying to find." I knew Dimitri wanted to speak up, but he said nothing. He was being smart, and I couldn't blame him for that. He traced light circles in my hands, and my temper seethed. "Why'd you even take the case, Baba? Shouldn't you be back in Langley, with Mom? Surely they have much more interesting cases on the east coast."

Abe shook his head. "I took this case because I'm concerned for your safety, and because I knew you wouldn't give it up, even if I asked you too." He smiled and I glared at him. That son of a bitch. Why did he even bother asking me to give it up then? "A conflict of interest means nothing to me." That probably meant he had connections in high places, which I didn't doubt. Abe had been working on the force since he was twenty-three, which was well over twenty years now. "On top of all of that, I was curious to meet your new partner."

It may have seemed like my father had given up me not working this case easily, but I knew he was planning more attempts to get me off it. While he was my father, I wouldn't have put it past him to sabotage something in order for me to get off the case … say something like, Internal Affairs coming and booting me out. Something like that. It was his sick and twisted way of showing he cared. _At least he shows he cares for you, unlike your mother._ Bitter resentment filled my body as I thought about my mother.

That's when Dimitri and Abe started talking, and I zoned out. I didn't want to listen to them talk, because I knew my father was planning something else. What the hell was he planning? The fact that he wanted me off the case was insanely obvious – of _course _he wanted me off the case. I stood up from my seat, and made my way into the bedroom, cursing under my breath as I did. Fuming with anger, I kicked the edge of the bed, and bit down on my lip to keep from screaming at the pain. I gripped the edge of the bed before finally sitting down. Something was screaming at me in the back of my mind, and I grabbed my cell phone without thinking.

As I laid down on the best, I dialed the most familiar number I knew – Adrian's cell phone. I was pissed as hell, but I _had_ to talk to him. At the very least, I had to let him know what was going on … Didn't I? I stopped dialing halfway through the series of numbers, and erased it. Instead, I called Christian on his cell phone, knowing he had his on his. He picked up after a few seconds, and his response was something I expected. "_Rose, what the fuck. It's two in the morning." _

"And you're at the hospital, so I don't give a damn. Look, can I talk to your future fiancé?" I knew that would get him to shut up. He mumbled something incoherently, though I was pretty sure it was 'mother-fucking bitch whore slut', and the phone was tossed over to his girlfriend. "Hey, Liss, tell your boyfriend to stop insulting me. I have a great sense of hearing." Lissa laughed and replayed the message to her boyfriend, who mumbled something else.

"_I'm glad you decided to call. I haven't slept in a couple of hours. I want to get out of here, but they've decided it's better for my health to release me tomorrow. What's up, though? Glad you finally got my texts."_ I was fighting the urge to go see her at the hospital and tell her _everything_: the marriage that wasn't working, the affair that had been going on for two and something months … _Everything_. But I didn't. I was proud of myself for not being so weak.

"Not much." She snorted on the other end, having caught on to my lie. "Well, uh, my father's here. He's actually here right now." Right, I had yet to tell my best friend that Adrian and I had one hell of a fight. I was a terrible friend. I heard her shift her position on the bed and she moaned in pain. I flinched, thinking of the pain she was having.

"_And pray tell me why your father is in town? He hasn't been here in, like, three years. What about your mom? Is she here too? You wanna hide out at my house? I'll keep you hidden, I promise. We can duct tape Christian's mouth shut._" I laughed as I rested my head against the pillow, and lifted my ring hand up. I couldn't help but notice how much _better_ my hand looked without that god damn ring. The tan line would go away after some time.

"No, we can't do that, because he'll mention about doing something like that in your future sex life, which I don't need to hear about." I heard Christian say damn straight in the background, and laughed again. I missed my best friend; we didn't have a whole bunch of time to talk anymore. "He's in town because he took a case. I'd tell you all about it – believe me, I want too – but I can't. It's … it's F.B.I big, though." That was all I could say on the matter, and it killed me. "My mom isn't here. Yet. She will be, just give her a day or two."

_"Dude, that sucks. Like I said, we'll hide you at my house. Your mom will never look there."_ I snorted my laughter; that would be the first place my mom looked right after my house. My heart race increased as I thought about that – Adrian. Fucking hell, I really did need to talk to him now. I slammed my first down on the mattress as I thought about that.

"That's the first place my mom's gonna look. I guess I'll just have to face her. Maybe we'll have another internet worthy fight." According to Christian, the last time I had seen my mom, our fight had been so great that it was internet worthy. That was always nice to know. There was laughter coming from the dining room, and I jolted out of the bed. "Hey, look, I gotta go. My father is conversing with people; I need to put an end to this."

"_Your father isn't that bad, you know. He's just … ah, what's the word? Overprotective. That's the word!_" She laughed and I rolled my eyes. "_But have fun. We need to hang out sometime soon, alright? Like… uh, tomorrow?_" Tomorrow was supposed to be my day off, but since we had two cases... _You know what? Fuck it. I haven't had a day off in two and a half months_. Given the information I had just learned, I figured it wouldn't be too hard to play the 'I need some time to think'. Alberta wasn't that much of a cold hearted bitch.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Bye, Liss. Give your family my love." I clicked the phone shut, and threw my legs over the side of the bed. I could still hear their laughter and that was what made me so nervous. What the hell were they laughing about? My father needed to get out of here right _now_. I shut the door quietly behind me, and found myself in the dining room in no time. I cleared my throat, and the two out of the three men in my life looked up at me.

Abe had _that_ look in his eyes, and I gulped. I didn't like _that_ look. Dimitri was wearing a half-smile, and Abe had a full-blown grin. "Okay, Baba! I think it's time to go. Really. It's two in the morning. I know it's hard to believe, but some of us do need our beauty sleep." I locked eyes with him, hoping the look in them would send a message. The message said: _Old man, get the hell out of here. Now. _Abe cleared his throat, and I knew the message had been sent. He stood up, and shook hands with Dimitri again.

"It's been a pleasure talking with you, Detective Belikov." He looked up at me. "Kiz, we'll be talking again. Remember what I said." There was the man I knew and loved. I made the ushering movement with my hands. I almost actually _shoved_ him out the door, but decided against it. He saluted us before he left, and shut the door behind him. Once the door had been shut, I slid into Dimitri's lap and held my hands in my face.

"Your father is a very interesting man, Roza." I rolled my eyes in my palms. My father was a lying, manipulative, evil, and overprotective son of a bitch.

"Of course you'd say that. You know he's going to do whatever he can to get me off this case, right? Doesn't matter what I tell him about how I can handle myself. It's his way of showing concern. He's scared for my life right now, and you'd never know." Why hadn't I inherited his abilities to keep my emotions in check? And more importantly, why the hell had Dimitri connected so well with Abe? It was almost ironic. Abe and Adrian didn't get along that well, but Dimitri and Abe did. Funny.

Dimitri ran his fingers through my hair, untangling the knots that formed from putting it into such a tight bun. It felt good to have him run his fingers through my hair. I wondered what he was thinking. My mind pondered this, but his words brought me out of my trance. "I know. He really is just scared for you, that's all. He's worried that Claude will target you in some way, shape or form – which is almost kind of guaranteed, since we're trying to track him." His words were grim and unneeded, but they were also the truth.

I rested my head in the crook of his neck, and he wrapped his arms around me, keeping me stable on his lap. For once, our position like this wasn't sexual – and it felt nice. Dimitri's body was radiating warmth, and it was toxic. If I wasn't so tired, I probably would have taken him right then and there. "I'm taking my day off tomorrow, 'kay?" I mumbled, my eyes suddenly dropping. The wave of tiredness hit me pretty fast, almost sudden. I felt his chest rustle as he gave a low laugh and kissed my forehead. I think he said something in response, but I don't remember what it was.

As a matter of fact, I didn't remember anything after that. Sleep had evaded me, and I caved in. I was out like a rock for most of the night, and had a completely dreamless sleep. When I woke up, I found myself entangled in the bed, with Dimitri's peaceful form right next to me. Light was seeping through the curtains, and I squinted as I rolled over to look at an alarm clock. It said it was a little past noon. Had I really slept over ten hours? I rolled back over to find Dimitri's eyes closed, perfectly at ease. As if on cue, he opened up his eyes.

"Mornin'," he mumbled incoherently, and I ran my fingers through his hair. He shifted his weight on the bed, and was resting his head against the headboard. He already looked wide awake. Why is that he could be perfectly content in the morning and I couldn't? Oh, wait. It was probably because he was an active Russian and I was a lazy American. That made perfect sense. I rested my head in his chest, noting how it fit perfectly.

"Good morning to you too, Comrade. Thanks for bringing me in here, by the way." I wasn't exactly a light weight, and I was impressed with his strength. It was a huge turn on, really. I kissed his jaw, making my way up his beautiful face in a slow manner, and finally pressed my lips against his for a quick kiss. Before the kiss could go any further, I pulled away. He had a dark look in his eyes as I pulled away, but it was gone quickly.

"So, today's our day off. What do you want to do?" There were a lot of things I wanted to do, and I eyed my duffel bag, knowing exactly what was in there… but I shoved those thoughts away. Tonight, Lissa and I were going to have a girls night – or do our best, considering how she had a new baby. I hadn't told Lissa about the fight with Adrian, so it wasn't like I'd look suspicious if my appearance screamed 'I just had sex!', but I couldn't do it.

"Sleep a few more hours? Not go anywhere? Although, I did promise Lissa a girl's night tonight. Guess you're all by yourself tonight. Oh, speaking of Lissa, that reminds me – her parents and brother are coming into town to see the baby in like, two days. She's having this huge get together, and I'm obligated to go, as her best friend. You wanna be my plus one?" My lips lingered at his earlobe, and I captured it with my mouth. My teeth grazed his earlobe slightly, and my tongue flickered back and forth.

His body squirmed and I grinned. "What about Adrian?" He managed to breathe out as my tongue continued to be fascinated by his earlobe. That got me to stop instantly, and I jerked up right. My eyes were darkening over as I thought about my husband. I glanced down to my ring hand, and it twitched as I thought about putting that damn ring back on.

"Adrian doesn't matter. He probably won't be there, anyways." I knew Lissa would have invited him, especially since I hadn't told her about the fight – and Andre and Adrian got along like two peas in a pod. They were almost joined at the hip, those two, being the same age and all. They had been best friends since high school, actually. But with his job and his current case load – I knew for a fact that he had two cases involving a domestic assault and a theft – he probably wouldn't be there.

The whole atmosphere had changed. It always did when we brought up the elephant in my room; my husband. At first, it hadn't been as bad – but as soon as our meetings became more frequent and our emotions started running deeper, the thought of my husband became worse and worse. Guilt was always there – but the guilt had changed. The guilt went from the fact that I still loved my husband, despite our problems, to … to something else. I couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly, and it scared the hell out of me.

"Okay. I'll go." Hearing Dimitri's drop dead sexy accented voice made everything so much better. I smiled and kissed his lips.

**three days later.**

Sometimes, I reckoned that I was seriously underpaid for the work I did. I was working double-overtime regarding the Andrew and Dawson case, and I could barely function. Once again, I had turned into a living zombie – I think I was running on auto-pilot; I didn't know. What I did know was that I had spent the last two nights sleeping in the station on their surprisingly comfy cots. My sleep never consisted of more than five hours. There were dark circles under my eyes, and my hair was a mess.

That was the problem with this job – you became overworked too easily and there was nothing you could do about it.

We were getting tips left and right about what people saw – or rather, what they thought they saw. Due to the nature of the crime, we had to fully investigate every single damn one of them. 100% of the time so far, those damn tips turned out to be false. Some people wanted the money, and others were just trying to help. They never did seem to realize the _damage_ they caused us when we wasted the department's time and money investigating these stupid claims.

And that's exactly what we were doing right now. Investigating stupid claims that had nothing to do with the case, or so I thought. Or rather, we were getting done doing the said stupid thing. Dimitri insisted we should investigate this one, though – the woman seemed promising. Over the phone, she could describe what she had heard in pretty accurate detail – the lead seemed so promising, but alas, it was not. It never was. Apparently, the lady hadn't taken her crazy medication and was recapping an episode of _Law and Order: Special Victims Unit_, which, ironically, had a similar (and a hell of a lot less complicated) plot than our real life case.

I sighed as slid into my chair, and Dimitri sat down into his chair, right across from mine. He looked just as frustrated as me – our hopes had been so high when we talked to that woman, but it was all down the drain now. The only clue we had was that the guy had used an F.B.I cover to get into the house without any forced entry. Whoever the son of a bitch was, he was smart. The press had doubted if it was really this man or not, but that inkling feeling in my stomach told me that this – this man that had done the two killings and rapes – was Claude. It had to be.

I had my eyes closed for a little over five minutes before something whacked my head. I jerked up and turned around instantly, only to find myself staring at Eddie with a bemused expression on his face. He was holding a stack of papers, which were the source of what had come in contact with my head. I shot him a look. "What the fuck was that for?" He snorted and pointed towards the clock.

"Weren't you supposed to be at Lissa's house twenty minutes ago? I already told her I was going to be a little bit late."

Oh, _fuck me_.

I glanced up at the clock, and groaned. It was almost seven o'clock, and I told Lissa I would have been there at six. Fuck, fuck, fuck. At least Lissa only lived a couple of minutes from the station – and that was in walking distance. If I ran, I could be there in less than ten minutes, flat. But I still needed to change (thankfully I had a pair of clothes), and make myself look presentable. I knew that Rhea, Andre and Eric would understand my appearance, but that didn't make me feel any better. Without saying a word, I turned my back towards one of my best friends and my partner and dashed towards the female locker room.

I really was a living zombie. My outfit was cute, yet incredibly simple. Blue skinny jeans with a three buckle grey cable shaw tunic that ended about mid-thigh, a white tee shirt, and killer black, high heel boots that Lissa had gotten me for Christmas. Once I had changed out of my business suit and into my preferred style of clothing, I looked at myself in the mirror, deciding on what I needed to do with the rest of my appearance. With that quick glance, I applied a light purple eye shadow and black eye liner to highlight my eyes, followed by mascara and a light coat of lip gloss.

Now, the remaining question was my hair. It was in a braid and that braid had turned pretty damn messy since this morning, due to my constant running around. I cursed and looked in my locker, searching for anything – and found a blue, knitted beanie, much to my success. I pulled my hair out of the braid and ran my fingers through it, losing the curls. With one last look in the mirror, I realized that no matter how much make-up and foundation I applied, the bags would never go away. In less than ten minutes, I had managed to turn from a rugged, overworked mess, into something completely presentable. I shut my locker door, grabbed my badge and my gun, and headed out.

Dimitri was still at his desk, and I caught him before I left. "I'll be there late, too. I'm just going to finish filing the claim and then I'll see you there, alright?" I nodded as I grabbed my purse, shoving my gun into it. "I shouldn't be too long." It was almost laughable that he was going to be late, because Dimitri was _never_ late – for _anything_. I gave him a smile, flipped off Eddie (who laughed), and basically ran out the door towards my best friend's house.

For the second time in four days, I ran a little over two miles in high heels. I'm pretty sure it was a god damn world record, and I was proud of myself. I was panting by the time I reached Lissa and Christian's house, and opened the door, rushing to the kitchen, where I assumed Lissa would be. Thankfully, she was – and so was Christian and a sleeping Kennedy in a small crib in the corner. They probably had cribs all over the house. Lissa turned around and pointed at me with her spatula.

"You're late."

I held my hands up in defense. "I know, I know. I'm sorry. I got held up at work. I've been working non-stop for the past three days." She looked me over, and sighed. "I'm sorry, Liss, really. What can I do to help?" My best friend looked at the clock, and I decided not to glance at it. It was probably reaching seven now. I turned towards Christian, who was smirking in the corner and keeping a delicate eye on his daughter. "Oh, shut the fuck up." He laughed.

"Loving your look, Rosie. Have a good night's sleep?" I glared at him, and smirked in triumph. The dark circles underneath his eyes indicated that he didn't get much more sleep than I did. Christian's eyes widened as he seemed to realize this, and he swore. I gave him my sweetest smile as I turned back to Lissa, who was shaking her head.

"It's fine; I understand. You look like hell, though. I'd offer you my foundation – it works wonders – but we don't have the same shade. And there really isn't much… There wasn't much in the first place." She shoved the spatula in the food, which looked like spaghetti. It looked delicious, and my stomach growled. Lissa laughed, and then looked over at her daughter. Kennedy was still sleeping soundly, and Lissa sighed in relief. Just like Christian, it looked like she got just as much sleep as I had in the past few days.

The sound of the doorbell made Lissa jumped, and I repressed a snicker. She loved her family – she really did, but she always got nervous. It was something about her family being all high end in New York City, and the fact that her daughter lived in _Montana_. It didn't matter, because her parents adored her, and respected her life choice … it was her parents friends that made Lissa anxious. And those friends weren't even going to be here, that I was aware of. I'd give some good ass-kicking to them if there were, though.

There was laughter coming from the living room, and I looked at Christian, who sighed. I could see the nerves radiating off his body – tonight, he was going to ask Eric if he could have his daughter's hand in marriage. Christian bit his lip, and then scooped up his daughter from her crib. She stirred slightly, but otherwise remained peacefully asleep. With one last glance at each other, we made our way out towards Lissa and the rest of the family.

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><p><strong>benim güzel kizim = my lovely daughter.<strong>

**Hmm. I'm already liking where the next chapter is going. Yay, drama and Adrain! Adrian is always a good thing. Have you seen the rough sketch of him? I pretty much melted into a pile of goo.**

**Review, please. Remember, Nagini kills on command. ;)  
><strong>


	14. Over My Head

**I just have one thing to say:**

**What the hell is a hufflepuff?**

**Lol, and I don't own the music mentioned in this chapter.**

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><p><strong>chapter fourteen; "over my head (better off dead)."<strong>

Some people never changed in appearance. So far, in my twenty five years of living, I only knew two people who were like that – and those two people were standing right in front of me. Eric and Rhea Dragomir never appeared to age, although it was there in the faintest trace. Rhea, with her body built like a runway model paired with the height, and Eric, looking handsome and professional, their blonde hair and green/blue eyes complementing each other. Christian and I stepped forward, and before I could make my way over to my best friend's parents, another hand pulled me back, engulfing me into a hug.

"It's great to see you, Ro-Ro." I laughed at Andre's nickname for me – it still annoyed me to this day, and I gave him a look along with my laughing. His lips turned up into a perfect smile, and I noticed how much he looked like his parents. The whole Dragomir family was the epitome of a picture perfect, well-bred American family. The only difference between them was that Rhea and Andre had blue eyes, while Eric and Lissa had green. Like his parents, he didn't appear to have aged at all.

I returned the hug, but it was quick and short lived. My head was starting to hurt, and it had nothing to do with the conversations going on. _Don't worry about it; he won't be here._ The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was probably one, big, huge lie. Andre was one of Adrian's best friends – he'd find a way to get some time with his friend. I bit the inside of my cheek, tasting blood, and almost sighed in relief. The pain in my cheek was distracting me … somewhat. Andre and I exchanged a few more warm welcomes before I made my way over towards his parents.

"Eric, Rhea. It's so nice to see you guys," I said as I pulled the two into a hug. They really had been like my second parents before they moved back to New York, shortly after Lissa and I had graduated high school. How many hours had I spent over at their place, especially when my mom and dad were never home? Rhea was a hospital administrator in New York, and Eric was a well-known surgeon for that same hospital. If I could recall correctly, he was Chief of Staff in the surgery department. For the most part, their jobs were nine to five. They didn't come and go like my parents did. My mom was gone for half of the year most of the time.

The couple kissed my cheek. "Oh, Rose, I've missed you so much." Rhea pulled me into another hug, and I suddenly longed for my own mother. I jerked my head to get rid of the thought, and pulled out of the hug. I felt their eyes on me, and there was a disapproving look on their faces. I knew what was going to come: they were concerned. They had been concerned ever since I first confided in them about my idea to work in the law enforcement field. Without their guidance, I don't think I could have made such an important decision.

"Are you okay?" Eric questioned, and I shrugged. Eric and Rhea understood long hours when you first started something, as both of their jobs were involved in a hospital. Eric's green eyes narrowed, as did Rhea's. "You don't look that great, Rose. You look like hell, to be honest." He gave me half a smile, and I shrugged again. Rhea's eyes traveled down to my chest, and she paused there. Her fingers reached out towards my chest, and she held up my badge. Huh, I had completely forgotten about that in my rush to get ready. A warm smile spread across her face, and understanding in Eric's.

I offered them a sheepish smile. "Two and a half months ago, I got promoted. We're just slammed with a lot of cases right now, that's all it is. I've been working for the past three days nonstop." This much was true; I was working nonstop. A lot of it was to catch Claude, and a lot of it was to ignore my conflicting emotions. The wave of confusion had hit me a day ago, when Adrian had walked into the police station. You could have cut the tension with a knife, it was that bad. I was just thankful that I wasn't the one who had to deal with him – not that I would have been, anyways.

Eddie was the one who had to deal with him. I cringed as I thought back to what Eddie had told me about him. _He's ruthless, Rose. I've seen him in action before, but this takes the cake. Tore me to shreds; we've got no case against that guy and he could prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. He's a mess… _Eddie was the only other person I had confided in about my fight with Adrian, and that was after what he said. He kept questioning and pestering and finally, I just had a breaking point and snapped and told him everything.

Rhea placed a hand on my cheek and patted it. "I'm proud of you, baby." She looked over at her husband, who pulled me into a hug. I felt strangely smothered, but it wasn't in a bad way. Eric repeated his wife's kind words, and she left. That left Eric and I to talk, and I knew what was coming before he even opened his mouth. He was a current doctor – I was sure he had dealt with people much worse than me, but that didn't stop him from questioning.

"You haven't been sleeping right, have you? Don't bother lying; the dark circles underneath your eyes are a good indicator of that. Your skin has lost colour, too." I just nodded along with what he was saying. "Are you _sure_ you're alright?" I was never going to be alright, but I wasn't going to burden Eric with my troubles. He didn't need to know about my illicit affair, the fight, and the stress from work. He _couldn't _know about those things. I shrugged again. Wow, I appeared to be doing that a lot lately.

"I'm fine. I've just got a really big case right now." Eric looked like he didn't believe me, but he decided not to pester it further. With a nod, he moved back towards his wife, who was conversing with Natalie Dashkov. If Natalie was here, then there was a good chance that her father was here, as well. I scanned my eyes for him, but I didn't have to look too hard, because he was already fast approaching me. I huge smile spread across my face as I hugged him.

Victor Dashkov was a lot like my father in many retrospect's. For one, they both worked at the F.B.I, although he was stationed in Missoula with one other guy. Two, they both looked intimidating as hell. From first glance, Victor Dashkov was someone who looked like you shouldn't mess with, not in the slightest. But like all the big badasses, he had a tender heart, and had been best friends with the Dragomirs since even before Lissa was born. Just like Eric and Rhea where my parents, Victor was my uncle, even if we shared no blood relation.

"It's so great to see you, Uncle Victor." It really was. It had been a couple of years since we had seen each other. He chuckled in amusement, and his eyes flickered down to my badge. I made a mental note to take that off in a minute. I didn't want to appear on duty, because I wasn't … and I didn't want people asking me about work; not right now. He followed in Rhea's footsteps and grabbed my badge, his held titling in curiosity.

"I had heard rumours that you had gotten your dream… but I said I wouldn't believe it until I saw it, even if I knew it was more than likely true." His fingers ran over the lines of the badge, and he traced the outline. I didn't understand his fascination with my badge, because his was so much cooler. Victor let it drop, and his green eyes studied me. "How are you holding up?" It was easier to talk about this with Victor, because I knew he was on the case. That was confirmed when Dimitri and I had gotten a file consisting of all the people on Claude's case.

My face fell as I thought back to the case, however. Three days (or was it four? I couldn't recall) had passed since our first clues, and then we had nothing. We were tracing a ghost. Claude was one excellent criminal … but there was no such thing as 'perfect crime'. I struggled for the right words, and eventually sighed. "I'm okay." My tone was hushed, which indicated so much more than I thought it would. "It's… it's hard. I've been working for the past three days and we've got _nothing_. Is there such a thing a perfect crime?" My tone was hopeful, because then it would become a closed case, if we got lucky.

Victor pondered this for a moment before he shook his head. "No. There's always something that will lead you on the right track. Claude's smart, but there's no way he left _nothing_. It's impossible, with the technology now." I nodded along in agreement; that's what I thought. "I have to say that I think he's going to give you a run for his money, though. He's eluded capture for at least three years, probably even more." His laugh held no emotion in it whatsoever. "Have you guys looked into the possibility of him hiring someone? He doesn't seem like the type to get his hands dirty."

I nodded my head. "Yeah, but we've found nothing. There's no paper trail, which there would be – somewhere out there, there would be a paper trail." There was always a paper trail. I pursed my lips together as I thought about this. He didn't seem like the type to get his hands dirty – it avoided things like him actually getting charged when we made a bust and he wasn't there, even if he was the ringmaster behind it. Victor rested a hand on my shoulder, a sympathetic look on his face.

"You'll find something, Rosemarie. You always do, even if you have to fight tooth and nail for it." His green eyes scanned around, looking for someone. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have finally spotted the champagne." I laughed, and he darted past me, eager to get his drink. As a matter of fact, champagne sounded really good right about now. It took me seconds to find it, and I sighed in relief as the liquid hit my throat. Something stronger would have been nice, but this would do for now.

Two hours passed without a hitch, and for once in the past few days, I finally felt at ease. The alcohol was helping, but it wasn't the main factor in it. The main factor was that I was around people I cared about, and they weren't dragging me down in a complicated mess. I leaned back on the couch, and a thought crossed my mind. _Where was Dimitri?_ He said he wouldn't be too late; he had promised. I frowned, and pulled out my phone from my pocket. No wonder I hadn't heard anything – it was on silent. Two missed calls, and one text. The text was from Dimitri. _Tell Lissa I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to go. Tell her I'll make it up to her somehow. Ha._ A smile played on my lips as my best friend sat down next to me, Kennedy in her hands.

I replayed the message, and she nodded in understanding, and started talking. I didn't hear what she had said, however, because the two missed calls were enough to send shivers down my spine. I was glad I wasn't holding my drink, because I would have dropped it if I had. _Adrian_. I had forgotten all about him and our fight and the stress at work for two hours, and now, everything was slowly creeping back to me. My stomach did a violent back flip as I checked the time. They were an hour apart, and the most recent one had been a little under fifteen minutes ago. I took a deep breath, and Lissa cradled a sleeping Kennedy in her hands.

"Rose, where is your ever so lovely husband?" This is the first time I had a chance to talk to her since the get together started. My face flushed, and I looked down. I could feel her green eyes piercing through my exterior as she tried to read my body language. I opened my mouth to answer the question, but Andre cut me off. For once in my life, I was thankful for someone cutting me off – I didn't have to answer Lissa's question. Her brother sat down across from us, and he ran his fingers through his hair. There was a question on the tip of his tongue; I recognized that face.

"My lovely sister, would you mind if I played your piano? Everyone's been asking me, and mom and dad are kind of insisting." I had to rack my brain to remember what Andre's job was, and then it dawned on me. He was professional piano player and singer in New York. He mostly did covers of songs, but he had done the piano for a few professional songs. It had been years since I heard him sing, and he had such a beautiful voice.

Apparently, Lissa was thinking the same thing. Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as he mentioned it, and Andre chuckled. "That would be great! Oh, I told Christian about you – he doesn't believe me, of course." I rolled my eyes at that. Christian believed her; he was just pulling her chain. He may have loved that woman to death and would have followed her to hell and back, but he couldn't help himself when it came to pulling someone's chain.

Andre's face lit up as she said yes. He was so peaceful when he played the piano. The bond the brother and sister shared was indescribable – it made me long for a brother or sister of my own. That longing didn't last for long, especially when I realized that it would mean my mother and father decided to create something again, and they already had me to do deal with. He stood up from his seat, kissed his sister and his niece, and made his way over to the piano. At this time, I stood up from my own seat, and Lissa followed.

I was thinking back to the times when Andre would play for us when we were younger and just how captivating he was. I'm glad he was successful in New York, because I knew what that city did to people who tried and constantly failed. It wasn't a pretty image. My mind was long gone and I hadn't noticed the people gathering around the piano until Andre started singing. It had been years since I heard his voice, and it always amazed me. He _would_ have a great voice, too. He was charming, cute, and talented. A combination package. I wasn't surprised that he wasn't married yet.

"_I heard there was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord..._" Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright. . It was a song that Andre had a habit of singing, because it had been his first song he had fully learned to play and master on the piano. It was his signature song, in a way. Not that I was complaining – it was a beautiful song, but it bugged me. "_But you don't really care for music, do you?_" I closed my eyes and absorbed the song. "_It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift, the baffled king composing hallelujah…_"

I was in my own little world when Andre sang. In my world, everything was perfect. I still had my job, but my case load wasn't as big and the crimes I was investigating weren't terrible, like they were now. There was no ring on my hand, and the tan-line was gone. In my own little world, I had never been married to Adrian, and the complications from our current marriage never seeped into my life. Adrian was a very close friend, and we still shared a special connection. I took a deep breath, a smile on my lips, as I considered this world. This world was nice – I liked it. If only I could go back in time…

"Rose."

I froze. Time stood still. I knew that voice – I would know that voice anywhere. My eyes snapped open, and I forced myself to turn around. There, standing behind me, was my husband. Oh God, Eddie was right – he looked horrible. I fought the urge to reach my hand out and run it through his hair. The guilt slammed into my body as I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the distant look that clouded his brilliantly green coloured eyes. _Had I done this to him when I left?_

The answer was yes.

"Adrian…" I finally breathed. What more could I say? His eyes drifted down to my left hand, and I almost passed out right then and there. I wasn't wearing my wedding ring. I had forgotten all about it, honestly. I had meant to put it back o- Who the hell was I kidding? I didn't want to put it back on … until now. His eyes darkened over, and Andre's voice was still playing in the background.

_"She tied you to a kitchen chair; she broke your throne, she cut your hair …"_

"Can we talk?" His tone was pleading, as where his eyes. The look he was giving me was pitiful, and I gave him a small nod. He took my hand, and his fingers traced over the tan line on my ring finger. He bit down on his lip and said nothing as he pulled me out to the backyard. There was a small patio there, and we were the only ones out there. Instead of looking at my husband, I focused on the outside.

It was dark, of course – but the moon was shining so bright it was almost bright as day. There were no traces of snow on the ground, and the weather was warm and humid. It also had a nice breeze to it. Any other day, this would have been nice. But not today. We stayed like this in silence. Finally, he took his hands into mine, his thumb still grazing the tan line. I felt the bile rise in my throat, but I shoved it back down.

"You're not wearing your ring…"A pang of sadness shot through me as I listened to his voice. It was so sad; so pleading, so desperate… The tears formed in my eyes as I forced myself to look at him. I could smell the clove cigarettes on him.

"I forgot to put it back on after the shower." A shower that had been a few days ago. I normally did that, however. I didn't like wearing my jewelry when I was in the shower. He swallowed the lie right up. The guilt was becoming almost unbearable now. My head was pounding, and all I could do was look away. I saw Adrian reach his hand out, and he hesitated for a moment before he decided against it, and cupped my chin in his palms. Oh God, his hands were so soft…

"I…" He paused, looking for the right words. "Please, love, just hear me on this." He had already captivated my attention. I had been so sure that he wouldn't be here, and alas, he was. Had I really been that stupid enough to think that he wouldn't be here? I gave him a soft nod, blinking back the tears. Why was I even crying at this? It was the stress and the lack of sleep; it had to be. "I'm so sorry. For everything. For questioning you, for pressuring the topic of having a baby … I didn't mean to hurt you. Rose, baby, I never want to hurt you. I love your smile, your laugh … it kills me when I know that I'm the cause of your pain."

The feeling was mutual.

"And when I saw you in the station a day or so ago, I knew that I had to talk to you. I wasn't going to come tonight, but I knew you'd be here. I tried calling you, but you didn't pick up… But I've got to say this now, and I know I've already told you this, but Rose, I'm so sorry. The words came out of my mouth before I even realized it, and I regretted it as soon as I realized what I said." He brushed a strand of hair out of my face, a small smile on his lips. "I love you with all my heart – fuck, more like all my being. I don't know what I'd do without you, I don't." He paused, and he ran his empty hand through his hair, his tell-tale sign of being stressed out.

"Please, baby, just give me one more chance to make it right. I can't stand the thought you of being somewhere else. I won't make it through the night without you next to me." Flashbacks of our happier times rocked my body, and I stumbled back. I almost fell on my ass, but Adrian caught me. "I won't go home without you…" He looked down, and then sat down on the lawn chair. I sat down next to him, and took my hand into his.

I had no idea what to say to this. I could see the evident pain that this fight had caused him. I had thought I wasn't suffering from any pain, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I _was._My snappy attitude, not having sex with Dimitri, the inability to sleep… Realization hit me faster than I expected, and my eyes widened in surprise as I absorbed this new information. This had happened to me before, when I had fought with Lissa a year or so ago. It had been over something stupid … but I hadn't slept properly, devoted all my time into work, didn't have sex with Adrian…

It was easy to see how I thought I was overworked. Well, I was overworked, but I was also the one who was initiating it. I could go home anytime I wanted and take a night off in order to get some sleep, but I didn't. My hands fumbled, and I felt my chest suddenly get tighter. I may have not been _in love _with Adrian (I had no idea anymore), but that didn't change the fact that I still loved him, and I didn't want to see him hurting. I would have kicked the person's ass to who would have done this to him … but that person was me.

"I'm sorry," I managed to choke out, and he turned his head to the side. In the background, I heard claps from the living room – Christ, they were loud – and it indicated that Andre was done with his song. Why the hell had he chosen to sing _that_ song? I took a deep breath. "I just panicked. I… I." What was I supposed to say? I couldn't talk to him about the case – it was a breach of confidentiality. But I was acting on a whim now. Victor and Dimitri were right – we were going to be targeted, no matter what. Flashes of Adrian, dead and lifeless, came to me. I hung my head down. "I was scared – still am … but those words _hurt, _Adrian. Don't you know it's supposed to be the wife who kicks the husband out?"

His lips twitched up into a smile, and I knew our situation was improving. He gave a soft laugh, and nodded his head. "I won't ask you to make me any more sandwiches, I promise." My lips cracked under the pressure, and a tiny smile came out. We had a running joke about him asking me to make him a sandwich, because it was supposed to be the 'woman's duty.' The tightness in my chest lifted, but the headache still stayed. The headache was getting worse, and I almost dubbed over in pain. I took deep, calming breaths, hoping it would work.

"That's good, because I'm not making them." The smile turned into a full blown grin, and he closed the distance between us. His lips felt smooth against my chapped ones, and for the first time in three days, I was wide awake. He wrapped his hands in my hair, and without breaking the kiss, I made my way over to his lap. I was kissing him back this time, and it felt good. Dimitri and I had limited physical contact the past few days, due to the fact that we were always working, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I _needed _to be touched.

The tempo of our kissing increased and I pushed him back down on the lawn chair. I was now straddling him, and I felt his excitement pulse through his body. It had been _months _since we had been intimate like this. My headache started to subside as our make-out session continued. My thoughts were trailing somewhere else, and all I could focus on was how Adrian's lips felt against my body. He broke the kiss, and we struggled for air. In the blink of an eye, his lips moved to my neck, nipping and sucking on my skin. I knew that by tomorrow, I would have a hickey there.

I moved my hips up against him in small, tight, circles, and Adrian groaned. His excitement was plainly obvious now, and I smiled in success. It was always a nice feeling knowing that you had that affect on men. His lips found mine again, and we kissed until we heard a voice clear their throat behind us. Instantly, we both pulled away, panting heavily.

"That's great, Rose. Really fucking great. Now I have to pour acid all over that chair, because you've contaminated it," Christian replied, shielding his eyes. My face flushed red – it was embarrassing when your best friends boyfriend caught you in situations like this, and Christian laughed. Adrian was grinning like a Cheshire cat. I glared at him before I turned towards Christian.

"Yeah, well, it's not like we were actually having sex. Believe me, I've seen your chapped ass more than I want too. I told you guys you need to lock your doors," I retorted, and his face flushed red as well. I had walked in on Christian and Lissa many times, in many compromising positions. My mind was still scared from those moments.

"Whatever. You know you liked seeing me naked." He grinned, and I gagged. "You even gag at the thought of me. Got a lot of practice with that, Rose?" Christian snickered, and I fought the urge to smack him.

"You speaking from experience, Christian?" His eyes darkened, and I laughed. Adrian wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer towards him. "What do you want, anyways? You're ruining the moment." I leaned back into Adrian's chest.

"Lissa's looking for you. She saw you disappear with Adrian and wanted to make sure you're not having sex in our bedroom or something." I snorted; that was Christian's answer. Of course, those two fucked like rabbits and probably had sex everywhere in the house by now. "And Andre wants to see you, Adrian. He heard you were here." Adrian's eyes lit up – he hadn't seen his best friend in years, although they talked quite a bit. I got off Adrian's lap, and stood up, adjusting my beanie.

"You're such a liar. That's your excuse and you know it. Not like your house is already fucked up, anyways. Don't lie. We both know you've had sex in every square inch of that house."

"We also had sex in that chair, too." I made a face and pulled Adrian's hand, dragging him out of the chair. Christian burst into laughter, and I shot him a look.

"That's disgusting. Now I have to burn our clothes." With that goodbye, I turned on my heels, Adrian and I still hand in hand. The headache was almost gone as we stayed in close contact. Before we pulled into the living room, I stopped, and readjusted his hair. "Don't you looking like you've just had sex," I stated, snorting as I ruffled his hair. He raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. It was amazing as to how we could go back to like nothing happened so quickly.

The little get together didn't last much longer. Adrian and I spent most of our time talking to Andre, per Adrian's request. The two had a lot of catching up to do – apparently, they hadn't talked in a couple of months, which was strange, even for them. They spent at least an hour and a half catching up, and I had made my way over to Lissa by that time. I was getting bored, to be quite honest. I had spent the last three days on my feet, running around like a mad man … and that hadn't happened a couple of hours. It was frustrating, really.

Time passed, and everyone finally said their goodbyes. Adrian and I were the last to leave, because we helped Lissa and Christian clean up – not that there was much to clean up, anyways. The four of us talked – and Christian kept on making clever comments about trying to decontaminate his house – for awhile before we finally made our way out to the car. I froze when we got to the car. There were a lot of things going through my mind, because a., I had told Alberta that I would go back to work and b., I had to talk to Dimitri.

My mind was made up by this point. I had to talk to him. My hands fumbled with the door, and I finally opened it, but didn't get in. "Adrian." He looked up and stopped from getting into the car. "I need to go back to work. I, uh, don't know how long I'll be." His face fell slightly, but he regained his composure with a nod and a slight smile.

"I figured as much, since I heard about the case. But I'm not letting you walk there." He slid into the car, and I did the same. I was taken aback by the choice of music, too. It was a mixtape I had made a few years back, and the song it was on right now was _Collide_ by Howie Day. I raised my eyebrows at the song; I didn't even know he had the mixtape, still. The mixtapes between us had been a joke – something about compiling songs that make you think of the person you love or whatever. It was a running gag, though.

"I didn't know you still had this one…" I muttered. It was strange for me not to change the radio station. Truth be told, I was so used to country and 80s music that it almost felt _wrong_. Adrian's hands gripped the steering wheel tighter as he nodded. Within minutes, we were back at the station. I bit the inside of my cheek as I scanned the parking lot and instantly spotted Dimitri's truck. In the whole parking lot, the only vehicles that were there were Dimitri's and Eddie's. I thought he had gone home? "I'll see you sometime tomorrow. I'm gonna spend the night at the station, since I have to go the hospital to talk to someone at six."

This was true. We were going to talk to Carly, just one more time, to see if her memory was back. We weren't expecting it to be back, but it was our last hope. Adrian nodded, and pulled me in for a quick kiss on the lips. "I love you." I kissed him back before I opened the car door.

"I love you too." I shut the door behind me and made my way into the station, hearing him drive off. I shoved through the double doors and made my way into the back of the station, noticing how it was deserted expect for two people. Eddie was at his desk, typing away on his computer, and Dimitri was also at his desk, hunched over a big stack of papers. I knew what those papers work – he had been going over them since I left.

My heels clicked on the ground as I walked towards my desk, but neither of the two looked up. They were so absorbed into whatever they were doing, they didn't hear me. Or they did hear me and decided to ignore it, because it wasn't important. Only when I sat down in my familiar seat did Dimitri look up, giving me a slight nod. I frowned. "I thought you went home?" He shrugged.

"I did. Couldn't sleep, so I came back here. I wanted to stop by Lissa's, but there was something about Carly's statement that didn't sit right with me." I shrugged that off – I had that feeling too, but I didn't question it because we had investigated Carly's statement through and through. I took a deep breath, and forced myself to look at him.

"Dimitri, I need to talk to you…"

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><p><strong>So, I'd love it if you don't kill me. That would be just absolutely great, thanks! <strong>

**Mhmm. Next chapter is in the Russian's POV. (:**

**Review or ... I have no good threats. I'm watching _A Very Potter Musical_. I'm getting distracted. Damn!**


	15. A Drop In The Ocean

**Hey guys. Do you see what pairing this is listed under? _Rose and Dimitri_. It's not Rose and Adrian, it's _Rose and Dimitri_. I know that the story (mainly the last chapter) suggests otherwise - and it's that way for a reason. I do not believe in Rose and Adrian in the long term, and I personally can't stand the thought (Adrian and Jill forever, bitches) - but short term is okay, haha. In my stories, Rose will _always _wind up with Dimitri. But that doesn't mean it's going to be an easy path for them, because that's boring. What I need for you guys to understand is that Rose and Adrian's little 'get back together' thing need to happen in order for me to finish the story. If you don't like the Rose and Adrian parts, you can skip over them. There's like, one more that I have planned.  
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**Alright? I can't say anymore regarding the subject, because it gives away a huge part in the ending. All I ask is that you have a little faith in me when I state the pairing. And, for future reference, I'm the type of writer who has them be all perfect and rips them to shreds for awhile, and I usually do it at the worst possible time and the time you least expect it. 'Kay? Kay.  
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**With that being said, there should be a few questions in here that are leaving you wondering (i.e, why people are acting a certain way) - at least, that's what I think so. It's that way for a reason, so if you're confused, don't worry about it, because it'll be explained later! And, because I seem to get this question every time, Rose _will_ tell Adrian.. in due time. (:  
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**And since I'm not super creative, I don't own _A Drop In The Ocean _by Ron Pope. It's a beautiful song, though, so go listen to it!  
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><p><strong>chapter fifteen; 'a drop in the ocean.'<br>dimitri's pov.**

_We need to talk._ Of course we did. I could see it on her face – the slightly messed up look to her beautiful hair, the bruise forming on her neck, and most of all, her swollen lips. My heart tugged as I saw her swollen lips, and I knew where this was going. She would be telling me about how she was moving back into her house, and how our illicit affair needed to end. My fingers gripped around the pencil, almost breaking it in half, as I thought about this. I took a deep breath, and finally slammed the case shut. My eyes glanced around, and I saw that Eddie had apparently left.

"Yes?" I leaned back on my chair as her fingers rapped against the table. It was a habit she did when she was stressed out and unsure of what to say. I had realized this a month after working with her. She bit down on her lip, and she looked adorabl- _No, Dimka, what the hell are you thinking?_She was going to break my heart, and I knew it. The problem with that was I knew it – I had known since day one that I was nothing more than the other man in this relationship.

But that didn't explain the connection – the electricity that shot through my body every time I touched her, the fact she was always on my mind … Was I delusional or did she feel it too? I believed she felt it too. I saw her whole personality change when it was just me and her back in my apartment. When she was at work, her demeanor changed … and I knew she was almost 100% different when I saw her with Adrian. She was more quiet, more deserved … and with me, she was more open, more carefree.

Who the hell was I kidding?

"I can't do this anymore, Dimitri. I can't. This … this _thing_ we ha-" I stopped her right there and looked her straight in the eyes.

"An _affair_. Call it what it is, Rose." What happened to the girl who wanted this so badly? Who wasn't afraid to take chances? And more importantly, what the hell had happened between her and Adrian? Her chair scooted back, and I didn't realize how cold my voice had sounded. Shit. I regretted that instantly, and I softened my posture, hoping she would get the picture. If she did, she didn't say anything; she just went on with her rambling.

"The affair. I just, Dimitri, I don't even know anymore." She slumped back down in her chair, and I felt my heart shatter. Seriously, _who the hell was I kidding_? I had walked into this knowing our relationship was going to be short lived, and that we could never be. It was just an unavoidable fact with life … and I couldn't help but being felt used. What had those two months been for her? Just an excuse to get away from her troubles at home, but when they suddenly get better, go back to her husband, who would accept her with open arms?

_The other man. You're just the other man. You've always been, stupid. _

"I can't do this anymore, Dimitri. I can't keep having this affair with you." _Of course you can't_. Instead, I just gave a laugh – all emotion was gone from my face, and my laugh showed that. She looked startled, and I just shook my head. It was time to spill my emotions, as much as I knew it was just going to backfire. It always backfired, especially with Rose.

"I was wondering when you'd finally come to your senses. Don't worry, Rose. I know that I'm just the other man – that I've always been other man." A flicker of hurt ran across her face, but I didn't care. I was on a roll, and I didn't care if Eddie came back into the room. I shook my head, and laughed again. "But that doesn't change the fact about how I feel about you. I've known since day one that you'd want to break it off, that I was going to get my heartbroken. Guess I was right about that aspect." I shoved the case off the side, and forced myself to look directly into her eyes.

"I love you. I love you so fucking much, it hurts me sometimes." There was sadness in my voice, and shock on her face. Finally, it was dawning on her that I cared about her. I knew she spoke no word of Russian – minus a swear word or two – and I knew she had no idea when I told her I loved her, countless of times in my native tongue. But it was dawning on her now as to what I said, and I gave her a small smile. "I'm not going to beg and mope for you to stay. You'll do what you need to do, regardless of how I feel." My words were cold, but they were the truth.

I think that's when it dawned on me as to _why_ she was doing this. From my past relationships, I knew that when a girl wanted to call it quits, they had some sort of indicator – it wasn't just out of the blue, like a lot of guys thought it was. When you looked closely, there were tell-tale signs. Some might argue at the fact that we hadn't really been with each other in a couple of days was the indicator – but it wasn't. We were detectives, and we had an international case on our hands. It was quite simple, really.

Confusion and being scared always brought out the worst in people.

Moments like this made me thankful that my family was safe in Baia.

"Dimitri, I'm so sorry." Her voice was barely audible, and if I hadn't seen her lips move, I wouldn't have been so sure if she had said that. But she had, and I titled my head to the side, my eyes becoming obscured by my hair. I was pissed beyond a reason of a doubt … and my head hurt, and my heart was breaking into two … but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would. _Because you always knew. You always knew that it would come to this_._ That's why it doesn't hit you so bad, because you always knew, you stupid mother fucker._

"I know that you are. But you have to look at it from my side. Imagine how you would feel, if you started falling for a man who was married, and then screwed around with him for a little bit, and then suddenly he decided that it just wasn't going to work? Out of the fucking blue?" Even if I had a good feeling I understood, she needed to understand herself. Sleep deprivation wasn't helping her case in the slightest. "I feel pretty used, Rose. Where you just using me for sex because Adrian always working?"

"No! I swear, Dimitri, that wasn't it! I care about you. You mean so much to me… I… I was-"

"Having problems with your marriage, yeah, I know. Looks like that's fixed, doesn't it?" I didn't even recognize my own voice. I thought I was doing a pretty good job at masking my emotions from Rose. Hell, I was doing a great job. I could read Rose like an open book, and that's how I knew where she was coming from. They never left you without an indicator, even if it was an affair. _Never_. I sighed, and ran my fingers through my hair. Fuck, she was crying now. I hated seeing her cry. Her beautiful face never deserved to have tears cross her cheeks.

I leaned forward. "But, let me ask you this one question. If you're so in love with your husband like you claim to be-" Rose gasped.

"I never said that!"

I rolled my eyes. "You pretty much implied it, Roza." Roza. Damn. It was a slip of the tongue. "I repeat: if you're so in love with Adrian like you claim to be, then why'd you fall for me, too?" I waited for her to answer, and she didn't. I was expecting this much. "You know the saying. If you fall in love with someone else, you weren't in love with the first person to begin with. It's that simple." I stood up from my chair. Behind me, I heard her sniffle and I fought the urge to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright. "Let me know when you have the answer to that."

**one week later.**

It was another one of those sleepless nights that I commonly had, and I was feeling the effects of it later on in the day. For the past week, I hadn't been sleeping properly. Not since I had that conversation with Rose. Guilt racked my body … but what did I have to be guilty about? That I loved her? It wasn't a crime. It was immoral and wrong, but it wasn't a crime. I sighed as I thought about this.

We had done pretty good the last week acting like nothing had happened between us. However, to someone who watched us completely, you could see that there was an icy distance. No more joking, no more laughing… I take that back. It was there, but it wasn't like how it had been. Most of it was forced and the rest was a slip up, and then we'd both become embarrassed by our actions. I couldn't transfer or request another partner. Hell, I didn't _want _to.

What killed the most, throughout the whole week, was that she looked happier. I had seen that happiness around her a few times – and during all of those times, I had been with her and liked to think I was the cause of it … but now, I was starting to doubt that. There was reason she and Adrian were married, right? I slammed the case file down on the desk, and Rose jumped.

"I give up. This is bullshit. We don't have a lead at all. We can't find one single damn thing. I can't keep on spending my time here looking at nothing." I had finally cracked under the pressure. Rose had snapped a day ago, and I had encouraged her to keep on going. Only now, our roles were reversed, and I wondered what she was going to say about that. Right now, I didn't care though. I was done. Fed up. We were chasing air.

"Funny, I recall saying the exact same thing yesterday." I cracked a smile. Rose twirled her fingers in her hair, and all I could see was her wedding ring. When it hit the light in certain ways, it gleamed with radiance. Right now was one of those times it did that – the way it reflected off the light caused a small rainbow to appear out of the corner of my eye. It was shiny and impressive – expensive, too. _Does Adrian know how the sunshine gleams from her wedding band?_

"Two minds think alike." I pushed the case off to the side, and glared at it. I had spent a week pondering over it, and I found nothing. We were finding nothing … nor were the F.B.I, as a matter of fact. They were coming up just as clueless as we were. The worst part about this was that we didn't have another case. Things had been eerily silent for the past week. Even the people who did their normal patrols had nothing that could help us. A potential theft, a few assaults … but it wasn't anything like we thought.

It was a dead-end road. Maybe this would become a cold case.

I leaned back in my chair, and pulled out my iPod from my pocket. When I was frustrated, I had a habit of playing music. I had a small iPod station dock on my desk, and I plugged it in. First, I picked a song. It was the song I had been listening too for the past week, ever since Rose had decided to break the affair off. My stomach clenched as I thought about this, but I shoved my thoughts aside. For all she knew, I had the song on shuffle.

The lyrics where captivating. During my times of need, I had turned to music for solace – and I usually had a knack for finding a song that fit my mood perfectly. This song was no exception. The piano chorus began, followed by the lyrics to the song. I couldn't help but sing along with the song softly as it played.

"_A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, but I'm holding you closer than most, 'cause you are my heaven…"_ The song was louder than my singing, which I was glad for. I didn't like the idea of the station finding out about my singing, since I knew that it would become a constant string of jokes. The piano played on and the break in the song allowed me to look at Rose out of the corner of my eye.

She was focusing on a small stack of papers, but I knew the look on her face. She was trying not to focus on the lyrics and my not so subtle message. It probably wasn't the best idea for me to be singing and or playing the song in front of her, since she was confused out of her mind … but I couldn't help it. "_I don't wanna waste the weekend. If you don't love me, pretend a few more hours, then it's time to go. And as my train rolls down the East coast, I wonder how you keep warm. It's too late to cry, too broken to move on._"

I was slightly ashamed to say that I had cried more than a few times in my moments of solitude, thinking about Rose. The girl had shattered my heart into a million pieces, and yet, I still loved her. And even though she had shattered my heart, I was still hers. Deep down, I knew – I _knew_ – that I still had some affect on her. And that was all the hope I needed, because I just needed to make her _see_. How long would it be before her relationship with Adrian had gone back to how it was before? Their marriage was in shambles, and she needed to realize that.

There had been one point during our illicit affair in which she had almost gone back to him. It had been a month after we had been promoted, and Adrian had made the effort for the two of them to spend more time together. Rose accepted, of course, but she said she didn't know how she felt about it. She tested the waters, we kept our distance, but she still came crawling back to me in the end. It was going to happen again; I was confident it was. It won't take long, and that much I knew.

I might be deluding myself again. Hell, I probably was.

"_Still I can't let you be, most nights I hardly sleep. Don't take what you need from me…_" My sister had showed me this song a few years ago. While I preferred 80s and or country music, this was one of those songs that captivated you from the moment you heard it. "_Just a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, but I'm holding you closer than most, 'cause you are my heaven._"

I picked up another file, and started scanning the document. It was just some background information on what we already knew. Still, I scanned it, praying to God that there would be something new. When I reached the end of the document, I realized that there would never be anything new. "_Misplaced trust and old friends, never counting the regrets. By the grace of God, I do not rest at all. And New England as the leaves change; the last excuse that I'll claim, that I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl._"

"What's this song called?"

She finally cracked; it took her longer than I thought it would. I put down the F.B.I file and turned towards the medical file of Carly Andrews. "_A Drop In The Ocean _by Ron Pope. Beautiful, isn't it?" The chorus repeated itself, and Rose kept her lips tight, her mind reeling. My eyes scanned the file, hanging onto that last bit of hope that there would be something out of the ordinary.

"Yeah." Rose wanted me to change the song, but she'd never tell me directly. As I reached for the iPod, that's when I noticed something on the file out of the corner of my eye. It was a recent note, updated by the doctor – but there was something wrong.

"Rose, come over here." I wanted her opinion on it, too. I titled my head to the side and I appeared not to be mistaken. The signature that I was staring at didn't match the previous signature from the same doctor. It was a little more slanted, and his 'L' and 'R' were done differently. The difference was minuscule, but at the right angle, you could pick it up. She stood up, and walked over. "I want you to look at this from an angle, and tell me if you see anything."

Rose did as I requested, and her brows pushed together.

She took the file from the desk, and pushed it up to her face, scanning it closely. "No fucking way." I laughed, followed by a smile. After a week of nothing, we finally had a lead. _We finally had a lead_. I wanted to jump up and hug her, but I restrained myself. I almost didn't care that we weren't alone in the station, or that we weren't 'together' anymore. Almost.

"Let's take it over to forensics, and see what they think." It was better safe than sorry. Plus, we needed to have evidence, in case we needed a search warrant. I had learned from that mistake many times. Rose was halfway down to the forensics room by the time I caught up with her, and we entered. The lead forensics person – Ellen Kirova – was looking into a microscope when we found her. She seemed surprised, but when we asked her to do whatever it was she needed to do, she gratuitously accepted.

Ten minutes later, Ellen returned the file to us, a smile on her face. The look on her face was obvious – this was real. It didn't match the real doctor's signature at all. "Your real doctor is a righty. The person who did this-" She pointed at the paper document "- is a lefty." Rose looked like she was going to faint. Not only did we have a forged document, our search just became so much smaller. Right handed people were so much more common in America than left handed people.

We gave Ellen our thanks before heading into Alberta's office. Thankfully, she was alone. "The doctor's signature is forged," Rose said hastily before handing the document to Alberta. She raised an eyebrow, but accepted the document, and looked over it herself. A smile appeared on her face. "On top of that, look at the notes. They don't match up, at least, I don't think. The second one, the one before the fake one, talks about how she wants to keep her the hospital and evaluate her from PTSD. The one after that, the fake one, says that she's fine to go and has no problems at all. The time difference between those two is less than twenty-four hours."

Woah. I didn't even catch onto that. I just nodded in agreement and Rose kept on talking. "I know for a _fact_ that the PTSD test doesn't happen that quickly." I was about to ask when before I realized that was a stupid question. Rose would have been under watch after Mason died. "Especially since it's after she was raped and her daughter was killed. Carly hit her head so hard she can't remember anything. They wouldn't let her go just three days after that. If she hit her head that hard, she's got some permanent damage they need to reassess." How the hell did we not pick up on this earlier?

Alberta put the file down. "Are you sure about that?" She was skeptical, as she should be. We couldn't risk making assumptions in the station. An assumption could mean death.

"I'm positive. I can call Lissa and ask her, too. I guarantee you she'll tell you what I just said. The hospital's so big, it never would have dawned on anyone to double check it." Normally, Lissa would have been a damn valuable asset … but she was currently out of the hospital for six weeks. _God dammit! _Rose seemed to realize this too, and her face fell. Lissa was the person we normally talked to when it came to cases, but she could still be useful.

Alberta nodded in agreement. "I believe you, Hathaway. I know that Ms. Dragomir went on maternity leave, but I want you to call her and see if she can give you a better idea of who the attending nurse would have been, as for that doctor. You can go from there." The Chief closed the file and handed it back to us, and I took it from her desk. That was our dismissal, if there was one.

Rose was practically on fire. She was so excited, it almost was annoying. While I was just as happy as her, I did a much better job of keeping my emotions in check. She practically ran to the car, and I followed right after her. When I got in the car and turned it one, she was already jabbering away with Lissa on the phone, trying to extract the information we need. It didn't take too long, because by the time we pulled up to the hospital, Rose had hung up the phone and turned her attention towards me.

"The attending nurse to Carly was Natalie Dashkov. The doctor was Avery Lazar." That gave us enough to go on. For once, the hospital didn't appear to be crowded, and it wouldn't (hopefully) take us long to get a word with the two females. Now, all we could do was wait. The nurse at the station said she'd page Natalie for us. Apparently, she was in the emergency room right now, and there had been some type of an accident that was pretty bad. Funny, I don't recall hearing anything about an accident…

Twenty minutes later Natalie reappeared, blood covering her scrubs. She gave us a surprised look. "Detective Belikov, Detective Hathaway." It was kind of funny hearing her talk to Rose that way, considering how the two knew each other. "How can I help you guys?" She beckoned us to follow her somewhere more private, and we wound up in an empty room. I didn't like hospital rooms – not one bit. All I could do was try to get us out of here as fast as possible.

"Natalie, we have some questions for you," Rose piped up. Natalie's face looked confused, but she said nothing as Rose began asking. "You were the attending nurse to Carly Andrews, were you not?" Natalie nodded, and I pulled out my notepad to make notes. Rose kept on with her stream of questions – most of them incredibly basic and of no use to us, until Rose asked one question that tipped us over the edge. "And when was the last time you saw Dr. Lazar?"

Tears poured out of Natalie's eyes. Apparently, these two were close. Or there was something she wasn't telling us. I set the notepad down, and Natalie paced back and forth. "I don't know! She hasn't been to work in like, four days. I haven't seen her since. I tried calling her, because a patient was asking for her specifically, but it went straight to voicemail. Oh God, she's not dead, is she?" An inkling feeling settled in my stomach, and it didn't go away. The fact that Dr. Lazar had not showed up in four days indicated that she hadn't been in the hospital when that note was forged.

Rose wrapped her arms around her friend, crying to calm her down. The tears were free-following right now, and her body was shaking back and forth. Rose shot me a look, indicating that it was my time to talk. I cleared my throat. "Ms. Dashkov, we're going to need to see her timesheet. Do you think you can get that for us?" It would be a lot easier if she got it for us. Natalie nodded and excused herself. This gave Rose and I some time to talk.

"That means that she proba-"

"I know. I think we should check her house. I have a bad feeling about this, Rose." I was being honest now. That feeling in the pit of my stomach wasn't going away, and it was increasing as the time went on. Rose nodded in agreement, and we both stood in silence, waiting for Natalie to return.

She returned a few moments later with the paper in her hands, and I took it from her. Rose was right next to me as she looked at the paper with me. Finally, my eyes caught it. The little mishap that the hospital never would have noticed because they were busy. I pointed to it. "There. She clocked in at seventeen hundred hours, and clocked out at seventeen thirty. She hasn't been here since." It was oddly suspicious that she would have only been at the hospital to work for half an hour. I folded the paper in half and turned towards Natalie, who was still crying.

"Thank you for your time and help, Ms. Dashkov." I gave her a nod, and Rose pulled her in for a hug one more time. Natalie said nothing as we headed out of the hospital and into the car. Once the car was turned on, I let it run. We had a decision to make here - where did we go from here? It was a potential missing persons case now. I turned to Rose, who spoke before I did.

"We're going to that house. I don't care. You remember what Eddie said to me?"

"Trust your gut. Don't second guess it," I recited the words perfectly. It was hard not to forget those words. Rose nodded, and she shook her phone slightly. She was going to make a call to Alberta. I backed out of the hospital parking lot, and listened to Rose talk with our boss. We had no idea where Dr. Lazar lived, but Rose was aware of that and got the directions for us. Within the time span of three minutes, we had directions to Dr. Lazar's apartment.

Which just so happened to be the one right below mine.

Rose flinched as I pulled up into the apartment parking garage, and I kept my face straight. The last time we had been in here, we had been getting ready to go to work, after she had spent the night at my house. We didn't do anything – we had just fallen asleep peacefully in each other's arms… No, I wasn't going to think about this right now. When we reached the apartment, I withdrew my gun instantly. Something wasn't right here, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was.

I pressed my side up against the door, and held the gun near my face. "Dr. Lazar, this is Detective Belikov and Detective Hathaway. We need to talk to you." Rose withdrew her gun as well, and there was no response from inside the house. I pressed my ear up against the door, listening for movement – and there was none. Rose peered in through the window next to the door, but I knew she wouldn't be able to see anything. When the curtains were drawn in the apartment complex, it was almost impossible to see inside.

"Dr. Lazar! This is the police! If you don't open up this door in the next minute, we're coming in!" My voice was much louder right now, and if she heard me, she would have been coming to the door at this point. After a minute, there was still no answer. Frowning slightly, I knew we had to go in. I didn't want it to come to this, but it was unavoidable at this point. I pulled away from the door, and shoved into it with all the force from the left side of my body. It cracked, and we had gained entry.

Rose held her gun out, and I did the same as I pushed the door open. The inside was so much like my apartment, space wise, that I had to do a double take. The decorations were different, and that was the only thing that keep me from believing that this was my own apartment. It was dark – too dark. I reached towards my left, where I knew the lights would be. I flicked them on, and gasped at the sight in front of us.

It wasn't pretty.

It indicated that some type of fight had taken place – had this happened when I was at home? Surely not, I would have remembered hearing loud voices from below. The couch was torn to shreds, the chairs were broken, and there appeared to be a bloodstain on the carpet. It wasn't a big bloodstain, but it was enough to give us an idea that someone was probably seriously injured.

"Hathaway to central. Come in, central." Rose lowered her gun, and I watched her back for any signs of movement. We weren't moving until we heard that backup was on the way. Her radio buzzed, and I sighed in relief.

"_Central to Hathaway."_ Hearing that voice was a relief. I didn't know what lied in the bathroom and the bedroom, and I didn't want to know. If the living room was any type of sign of what happened, then I knew the bedroom and bathroom wouldn't be pretty.

"Requesting backup. 342 Northern Lights, apartment 4B. Potential break-in and domestic assault." If we needed a bus, we'd request it when the time came. Right now, we had no idea if someone was even in the apartment.

"_10-4, Hathaway. Officer Castile responding. ETA five minutes."_ I felt reassured that Eddie was responding. Thankfully, he wasn't far, either. Rose's radio buzzed, and the message had been played out on all of the stations. Eddie must have been listening to the main channel when he heard Rose buzz in. With backup on the way, I felt that we could move forward safely. I kept my gun held out as I moved the familiar path towards the bathroom. The door had been left open, and from a brief glance, I could see that it had been undisturbed.

That only left the bedroom left, and I could see the look on Rose's face. She was scared, just as I was. We were right outside the door when we smelled something funny. It was absolutely nauseating, whatever the smell was. I stopped dead in my tracks. I knew what that smell was – and so did Rose. She lowered her gun, as did I. Whoever had fought Dr. Lazar was long gone now.

"_Hathaway to central. Send over CSU." _She didn't have to say anymore than that. We exchanged looks of worry, and then nudged on the already open door. Part of me was thankful that the door was already opened, because then we didn't have to deal with gloves. "Oh, God, Dimitri, it smells so bad." She was whimpering right now. I didn't want to flicker on the lights, but I knew I had too. My hand searched, and I found them after a few seconds. I closed my eyes as the lights flickered on.

Rose let out a strangled sob as the sight revealed before her eyes. I could just picture what she was seeing, too. I forced my eyes opened and the second I did, I just wanted to close them again. The sight was terrible – absolutely terrible. I had seen many dead bodies in my time on the job, including the horrific image of the little girls, but this one was taking the cake by far.

It was Dr. Lazar, and half of her head had been blown off. Her brains were scattered all over the wall, as along with her blood. Her body lay lifeless on her bed, an empty, vacant look in her grey eyes. Before this, she would have been incredibly pretty. Now, she looked helpless – as she should, considering how she was dead. Her clothing had been torn to shreds, and her body was covered in bruises and abrasions. Flies were starting to gather at the gaping hole in the head, and based off the smell, she had been dead for a couple of days.

At first glance, it would look like suicide.

Rose and I were smarter than that.

And the worst part of all was that there was a note on the drawer. I wanted to reach out to it and read it, but I had to wait for CSU. I had to wait until CSU arrived so we didn't contaminate the evidence and loose it in court. I took a deep breath, and looked at Rose. When our eyes met, she let out another strangled sob and wrapped her body into mine. She was freely crying now, and I ran my fingers through her hair, attempting to sooth her.

"I know, моя конфета. I know…"

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><p><strong>моя конфета= my sweet.<strong>

**Lol, Avery's dead. I had fun writing that. Bitch needed to die in the actual series. Fo'reals.**

**Review. Or I'll move to Pigfarts (IT'S ON MARS) and you'll never get an update again. D:**


	16. Fade Out

**Did you guys see the Adrian trailer? I'm still a pile of goo. I've watched it like, over 50 times. Fo'realz, it was _so _good. Expect a one-shot in the near future. ;D Lol, I take that back. Expect me to be posting another one-shot to _Inevitable_. You guys should read that ... if you're okay with the idea of Jill and Adrian. ;D If not ... well, too bad. You have no idea what you're missing out on. /end.**

**Mhmm. I had fun writing this chapter. It evolved quite a bit of research regarding certain laws (but I can say that I do know the Miranda rights, because I'm a total nerd), and a good portion of some of the lawyer stuff... Haha. But I don't own the reference to Harry Potter (Yes, I went there. I'm cool like that), but I do own Charlotte Badica! (:**

**And, of course, my responses to my anons, because I love you guys and your ~secrecy. ;)**  
><strong>FRANCISCA;<strong> My lips are sealed. For reals. Haha. But I like hearing your suspicions!  
><strong>briana b; <strong>Thank you! I like gore. I think I watch one too many horor movies for my liking. Lolll.  
><strong>clair95;<strong> Thank you! I enjoy updating fast. Hahaha. Yes, poor them. The plot just keeps thickening for them. ):

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><p><strong>chapter sixteen; 'fade out.'<strong>  
><strong>rose pov.<strong>

There was nothing like the initial shock of seeing a dead body. Most of the time, you could remain impassive, and keep your emotions hidden until you were alone by yourself. Over the years, I had seen my fair share of dead bodies – I was pretty much set for the rest of my life. What I hadn't come across yet was an apparent suicide, and I was staring at one right now. Only, deep down, I knew that it wasn't a suicide – there was just no way that it was.

When Eddie came through the door with his gun drawn, the tears finally stopped. His gun dropped to his side as he saw what we were looking at, and my constant state of mess. I pulled away from Dimitri who let me go without a hitch, and looked at his tear-stained shirt. "Sorry," I mumbled, but he waved it off. I turned to Eddie, who became very pale. He grudgingly took a step forward towards me, and took my hand into his. He gave me a tight squeeze and a soft smile, and the tears spilled out again.

It was just like Mason all over again. The hole in the back of the head, the brains and blood all over… Eddie was thinking the same thing I was. I hung my head low as I shoved my gun back into my holster. The bile was rising in my throat fast, and I broke away from Eddie's contact and rushed into the bathroom, spilling out my contents from my last meal into it. I couldn't breathe. The room was very bright and everything in it started spinning. I threw up again, and I felt a pair of hands brush my hair back.

"I know, Rose. I know." It was Eddie. I looked up at him, feeling overcome by the sudden nausea. I flushed the toilet and wiped my mouth with my sleeve, and leaned up against the cabinet. Dimitri was nowhere to be seen, and I was glad – I didn't like him seeing like this. Eddie ran a hand through my hair, and the tears started flowing again.

"It's just like Mason. Oh my God, it's just like him. Eddie, I can't do this. I can't do this. She looks … she looks just like how Mason did…" I had considered myself lucky to never come across that resembled my dead partner's brutal murder. Until now. I sounded like a babbling fool, but I couldn't stop myself. "And I keep thinking back to what Alberta said. It wasn't an accident. This wasn't a suicide, either. I know it wasn't…"

"I believe you. I don't think it was a suicide either." He bit down on his lip, and I saw the blood trickle from it, but the lips turned into a tiny smile. "You know what Mase would say if he was here, right?"

I couldn't help but laugh. I knew exactly what Mason would say. More tears spilled out of my eyes – Christ, I was crying a lot lately – and before I could wipe them away, Eddie beat me too it. He was kneeling right across from me, taking my hand into his. "He'd tell me to stop my bitching and get my shit together." I laughed again, but it was quivering. How many times had Mason told me that when I started to freak out? "Then then would also make some inappropriate comment about me, usually having to do with me being naked, and then repeat Mad-Eye Moody's catchphrase from _Harry Potter_."

"That's right. And he'd repeat that catchphrase over and over. Constant vigilance, Rose. Constant vigilance." His face held the same smile that mine did – forced and stressed. The catchphrase he had picked up was so stupid, but when he read that book and heard it … Mason had felt the need to share it with everyone. It was a great saying, but slightly annoying. There were sounds coming from the living room, and I jumped. I hadn't expected CSU to get here so quickly. Eddie looked at the door – which had been shut – and helped me up. "Come on, CSU's here." He pulled me in for another hug, and we stayed there for as long as we dared.

Before we pulled away, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. Eddie and I had never shared anything romantic – not even since day one, even though we constantly joked about it. Edison Castile was always going to be my brother figure and there was nothing more to that. He was my rock when Mason died, because nobody else, other than him, had seemed to understand just how I felt. Eddie had been Mason's best friend. I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my cheek, and the two of us trudged forward.

We were greeted with the signature sound of CSU; the constant clicking and flash of a camera. A flash went off in my eyes, and I put my hand over my face quickly. My body decided that a headache was needed, from the bits of crying I had been doing. Huh, I hadn't realized that I had cried that hard. My eyes locked with Dimitri's, and I saw the concern in my eyes. My stomach heaved, and even though I knew I had nothing left in my stomach, I felt the urge to throw up again.

This past week had been miserable. I was doing a great job of putting on a clever mask, and it wasn't that much harder to appear different, but it was still … hard. I spent a lot of my off time with Lissa and Kennedy, which automatically made me happier. And then during the times I wasn't at work with my best friend or niece, I was with Adrian. Even though it seemed like things were getting better, there was an icy distance I couldn't put my fingers on.

I was just thankful I had my best friend. I was on the verge of telling her everything, and something was going to send me over the edge. The only question is when that would happen.

I shuffled forward, keeping my eyes away from the blinding light. People were talking, taking notes … and it was all nothing more than a blur to me. The only thing that snapped me out of my daze was Dimitri. "Are you alright?" I hated that question; I've always hated that question. It was such a stupid question, _are you alright? _Well, buddy, if you have to ask it, then I'm obviously not fucking alright. I began to shake my head, but I stopped.

"She looked just like Mason …" I didn't want to tell Dimitri this. I wanted that distance between us to close, but that gap was never going to close. Never in one freaking million years… What the hell had I done? I didn't say anything. Instead, I just turned around and walked out the door, onto the familiar flooring. What concerned me the most was that Avery Lazar lived right below Dimitri. How the hell did he not hear anything? He must have been at work when this happened. Then again, fights weren't exactly uncommon in this apartment complex – I had heard them many times.

I felt a hand on my shoulder just moments after I stepped outside. The air was cold, but it was also allowing me to breath. We stayed in silence, our actions speaking louder than words. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. How could he remain so impassive about this? This happened _right below his apartment_.

"This wasn't a coincidence. They can't rule her death as a suicide… it wasn't a suicide, Dimitri, I know it." _Trust your gut. Don't second guess it. _Plus, there was a note – and although the note was probably from Avery, we could decipher it to see if it was forced. My mind was screaming at me, telling me that the note was forced and that Claude had probably made Avery pull her own trigger. "How could you not have heard that? And why didn't anyone report it?" I turned around at him, and he held up his hands defensively.

"Do you really think I know, Rose? The walls are thin, but they aren't _that _thin. There are fights here all the time. 'Sides, there's nobody in the apartments next to her. They wouldn't have heard it … If I had been here, I would have heard it. But I wasn't at home when this happened." He couldn't have been. I knew that Dimitri was a heavy sleeper, but he would have recognized the sound of a gunshot and reacted instantly.

I sighed. I was about to open my mouth to say something else, but something stopped me. It was Eddie, and there was a grim look on his face. "You better come see this." We followed Eddie, it taking only seconds before we managed to find ourselves back in the bathroom. I had to stop myself from doubling over and running out. I needed to be stronger than this. The little crime scene markers had been placed all over the place, and the tape was already on the door. I was proud of our CSU guys – they worked damn fast.

Eddie handed us gloves, and we put them on. After the gloves had been donned, he picked up the note, but didn't hand it to us. I wanted to rip it out of his hands, but Eddie spoke before I got the chance too. "CSU found gunshot residue on her hand, which means that she's the one who pulled the trigger." CSU was also starting to clean up and collect their evidence. "They also found a syringe. They're guessing she was injected with something before she pulled the trigger. CSU's saying that they think it's morphine, and there's a good chance we'll find some in her system when they open her up." He paused, and handed the note to us.

I snatched it out of his hands before he could say anything. I was expecting something handwritten, but it was typed out, which made it a lot harder to track.

_You wanna know the best part? Her screams. Avery had such a beautiful voice … it was absolute ecstasy to hear her scream, whimper in protest. Even thinking about it sends chills of pleasure down my spine. Her body looked so captivating. Her body was still captivating as she laid there, all the life sucked out of her by pulling the trigger…_

I couldn't read anymore. This was _disgusting_. I thrusted it out of my hands and back into Eddie's, who turned it over to a nearby CSU person. It killed me knowing that they weren't going to find fingerprints on that, however. Claude wasn't stupid – he would have worn gloves. Perhaps they could get a trace of what brand the glove was … that could give us something. Something was always better than nothing. I fought the urge to kick the nearest object, and instead, hustled out of the room and out onto the front door patio. I couldn't stay in that damn room any longer. I would go back to it when the body had been cleared … when everything had been cleared.

I gripped the handrail, feeling the splinters forming in my skin as I did so. I didn't have to have eyes in the back of my head to know that Dimitri had appeared next to me. My heart was an indicator of that; it was beating uncontrollably, as it always did when he and I were alone as you could be, and in such close proximity. _Adrian. Adrian. You love Adrian, remember?_ Maybe if I kept on repeating it, it would come true. But deep down, I knew that was a huge lie.

"Don't you think it's a little odd that the doctor treating Carly just _had _to be the one who lived right below you?" Just like everything with this case, there was no coincidence. This was not some random luck of the draw – this was a careful and well thought out … Didn't Carly request Dr. Lazar? I didn't even know anymore.

"I know what you're thinking… and I agree with you. This wasn't some random act – this was well thought and they're making a point about it. Avery's dead for a reason, and it's not by luck that she just so happened to be living below me." That made my blood run cold, and my hands began to shake. I clamped down on the railing harder to keep it from shaking. I heard Dimitri turn around, and he began knocking on doors, to see if anyone had heard anything. It was useless, though. Nobody who lived on this floor had heard anything. If they hadn't heard anything, then nobody above would have, either.

It was half an hour later by the time Dimitri and I made our way back to the station, and it was fifteen minutes after that when someone appeared at our doorsteps. The guy was young – seventeen, maybe – and had that flaky air around him. I had seen him before, but I couldn't pinpoint where. He seemed to be scared out of his mind. There was something about him that made me want to talk to him, but I held back. We needed to finish this damn report, and I couldn't let Dimitri do all the work for once. I had to keep my mind distracted somehow.

The report was done a good twenty minutes later, but we put off turning it in. Alberta had her hands full and was currently making calls to Avery's family. The memory suddenly hit me, and I gasped as I thought about it. _Oh fucking hell._

"Eugene's daughter," I barely managed to breathe out, and Dimitri looked up at me. Why the hell hadn't I thought about this before? Maybe it was because I assumed that the last name 'Lazar' was so common, but that was a stupid assumption. I had even met the girl in passing. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. "Oh my God, Dimitri."

"What?"

"That's Eugene Lazar's daughter." His brows pushed together in confusion. Of course he wouldn't understand the connection like I did. "Eugene Lazar, he's a famous criminal defense lawyer in the county." He titled his head to the side, his brown hair covering his eyes. Now it wasn't just a connection to Dimitri – it was a connection to _me_. My whole body began shaking as I thought about this. Claude was a fucking genius.

"Eugene Lazar is Adrian's boss."

He said nothing, but I saw the emotion on his face. He was thinking the exact same thing I was, and my hand wrapped around my gun instinctively. I couldn't think properly. Where the hell was Adrian? Thankfully, I didn't have time to think, because someone had called Dimitri and I into the integration room. My mind was distracted … for now. We met up with Jesse, who looked bored. It must have been his turn taking face to face tips. I remembered those days, and I fought the urge to snicker at the thought of Jesse doing them.

"He said he's got a tip regarding Lazar." That was all Jesse needed to say, and I found myself pushing myself through the doors before he could even finish his sentence. There, on the other side of the table, sat the man who had appeared in the station some moments ago. I gave him a soft smile as I took the seat across from him, and Dimitri stood behind me. He always had to look so damn big and intimidating when it came to suspects.

"I heard you have a tip regarding the murder of Dr. Avery Lazar?" I flashed him a bright smile, and he faltered slightly. Having this affect on criminals was horrible, but it was also incredibly useful. He said nothing. "We don't bite. I promise." He seemed unconvinced, and I realized I would have to play dirty now. "Look, you can't just come into the station and say you have a tip, and then completely close your mouth, Mr…?" It was an opening to get him to talk, and he didn't realize it.

"Clayton. Clayton Morgan." That's where the name sounded so familiar. He had been arrested a year or so ago on charges of theft, but had gotten off the hook because he was a minor and had a great lawyer … which had been Adrian. I closed my eyes. If he demanded his lawyer, he'd be calling Adrian. I opened my eyes back up again and leaned in closer to Clayton.

"Well, I'm glad you came in to see us, Mr. Morgan." I paused. "But like I said, you can't just stay silent. What do you have to tell us?" He looked down. He was embarrassed by his actions, that much I knew. Clayton began to play with his thumbs, and he mumbled something incoherently. "Clayton, you need to speak louder than that."

"I was in the apartment next door. My girlfriend and I use it sometimes, you know?" I straightened up. Here was someone who had _been_ there, or well, as close as he would get…. And he was just _now _stepping forward? Avery had been dead for at least three days! I was pissed now, but I let him continue his story. "And we heard this horrible fighting. The girl's voice was loud as hell, and a man was trying to soothe her. He kept saying 'Trust me, Avery. I'm not going to hurt you.' That's all we could hear of the conversation, though. An-"

I couldn't handle it anymore. This was a clear obstruction of justice. If we would have had this tip, we could have found Avery's body before it started decomposing. "Let me get this straight. You were in the next door apartment and you didn't _do _a damn thing about that?" He nodded. I rolled my eyes. "That's obstruction of justice." My eyes narrowed as I stared at the criminal. I took the handcuffs off my hostler. "Mr. Morgan, please stand up and put your hands behind your back." At least he wasn't fighting.

I moved towards him, and clasped the cold metal around his wrists. "Mr. Clayton Morgan, you are under arrest for obstruction of justice. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have that attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you at the government's expense."

"I want my lawyer." Yes, of course he did. It was smart, because he knew that I was going to tear him to shreds. I stood up from my seat. He had done the lawyer plea – Dimitri and I couldn't do a damn thing until the lawyer got there. Did he not realize going into this that he was going to face an obstruction of justice charge, which was now on a federal case level? I shut the door to the integration room behind me. Dimitri was taking Clayton down to the payphone, where he would call for his lawyer.

And twenty five minutes later, the lawyer that Clayton had called was waiting with Clayton in the integration room. I knew I should back out and let someone else deal with the integration, but dammit, this was _my _case. I opened the door, and Clayton and his lawyer where in a very heated argument. That ended as soon as I took my seat across from the two, Dimitri right behind me, being silent and brooding.

It took everything in me to look into my husband's green eyes. The question was clear: _what are you charging my cilent for?_ "Obstruction of justice." Adrian snorted, and rolled his eyes. I couldn't help but wonder how he felt about this – this was our first time actually combating back and forth.

"He's barely confessed. You can't pull the obstruction of justice without a full, written confession." Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. I was pretty sure this was prime time entertainment to the station right now – husband and wife, going at it. I could just picture my co-workers watching through the other side of the glass with popcorn in their hands.

"He told us that he heard a fight, which is enough to charge him." It was, since the fight was a case of potential domestic assault. I looked at Clayton. He was afraid of punishment, and it now dawned on me that he was probably of age – which would have been his immediate reason for lawyering up right away. "He would have told more if I hadn't arrested him, wouldn't you have?" I turned my attention towards Clayton, who's eyes darted back to Adrian.

"Don't say anything." Adrian looked back at me. "That's where your logic is faulty, Detective Hathaway." He was refraining from smiling. Apparently, calling me by my formal title amused him. It was the first time I had heard him say it a few weeks. "You arrested him, and he brought me into this. It doesn't matter what he was about to tell you, because that's the point:_ he didn't tell you_. He can't go onto the stand, anyways, because he'll plead the fifth. He won't face incriminating himself." Dear God, Adrian was _good_. It took a bit for me to be thrown off my balance, and a few lawyers had done that in the past … and Adrian was doing it now.

"How about we see what Clayton has to say?" I had forgotten that Dimitri was in the room with me until he had spoken up, and my headache started to come back. _How did Dimitri feel about this? _Adrian was right here, in the room … Oh God. I took a slow, deep breath, as I felt Dimitri sit down next to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Adrian's face was forming into a smirk. He was so sure the battle had been won – and it might have … but Dimitri could always make someone crack, too. Adrian leaned back in his chair as Clayton looked at him, his eyes pleading for an answer.

Adrian sighed. "That, my friend, is up to you. Although I would highly suggest not saying a damn thing, because that defeats the purpose of having me here." I wondered what our DA could do; she was pretty at these things then I was. Charlotte Badica was Adrian's age, and probably just as lethal. She had really proved herself in the past couple of years. And, speak of the devil, our DA slid into the room, almost unnoticed. She didn't even have to speak for me to know that I needed to come with her.

She didn't say anything as we watched through the one-way mirror, looking at Dimitri as he tried to coax Clayton into speaking. Out of nowhere, Charlotte turned to me, her blue eyes raging in fury. "Recap. I want to hear _everything_." And I told her everything, from the forged signature to where we were now. She sighed, and ran fingers through her blonde, straight hair. I had messed up – I knew I should have waited until after Clayton confessed to a full obstruction, but I couldn't help it.

"I'm not happy about what you did, but it was probably smarter than waiting until he spilled. They'd use that against you in cross examination." I pressed the button next to the window, and listened to Dimitri try to get it out of Clayton. I had a feeling if Adrian wasn't there, he probably would have told. Why'd he have to lawyer up right then and there? Oh, that's right. Because I arrested him. "You are aware that you also probably just did the stupidest thing ever?" Her blue eyes bore into mine.

I gave her a nod. "I know. But I can't back out of this, Charlie. This is _my_ case. And I like to think I did a pretty good job about remaining professional." Charlotte didn't say anything to contradict my words. At long last, Dimitri cursed in Russian and looked at us through the mirror. He couldn't see us, but he knew that we were there. Adrian smiled in triumph. "We still have him for obstruction of justice in a potential domestic assault. Ivashkov can't get around that, and he knows it. Mr. Morgan is completely at fault here, because he came to _us_ without realizing the consequences."

Charlotte and I stepped through the door, and Dimitri was muttering in Russian underneath his breath. "Why, Ms. Badica! Such a pleasure to see you here. Would you like some ice for that burn?" I raised my eyebrows at him, and he just smirked. Charlotte rolled her eyes as she sat down, and Dimitri stepped back. It was now time for the professionals to work.

"Don't worry, Ivashkov. I've got a big tube full of ice, all ready, just for you. You'll be needing it." Charlotte's lips remained impassive. "We have obstruction of justice for a potential domestic assault. That's at least five years. He should be lucky we're not pushing this for a federal case." Adrian rolled his eyes, clearly amused by whatever Charlotte had to say.

"You couldn't push a federal case of obstruction of justice." He paused. "Trespassing." Charlotte frowned, and stopped talking for a few minutes. It was obvious that she was thinking of a plea bargain. Trespassing was only a misdemeanor. Dimitri and I exchanged worried glances, and we could only pray that Charlotte would get him to speak.

"I'll give you trespassing." No! Charlotte, don't do it! "Only on the condition that Mr. Morgan finishes his story and gives us a written document." Oh, thank God. This is why I loved our DA; she could be a huge bitch sometimes, especially when she was right, but she knew what she was doing. Adrian's face became tight as he thought about this, and I gave him a smug smile. I had told him many times that being a criminal defense lawyer and being married to a cop was the stupidest idea ever.

"Deal." Adrian turned towards Clayton, and they started conversing back and forth. From what I could gather, Clayton was obviously pissed about the situation – he didn't want to have a black mark on his record, but that was unavoidable. So much for a good citizen; maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut. I was thankful that he hadn't, however. Charlotte stood up as the client and attorney bickered back and forth, and she gave us a small, tight-lipped, smile.

"That's the best I could do, because I wasn't going to let him go without anything. Don't interrupt him; let him finish his story, and then I want that report on my desk as soon as he's done with it. You two have got one long night ahead of you." Charlotte turned back to look at my husband and his client one more time, and gave them a nod. "As soon as he's done writing it." That was her goodbye. The door slammed shut, and I kept the smug smile on my face.

"You heard the lady. Start talking, Clayton." Dimitri took a seat, and it was my turn to stand up. We listened carefully as Clayton recounted his story; about how he and his girlfriend listened to the fighting, and ignored it once it got silent. They continued with their business – and I had to interject, of course, asking them why the hell they felt the need to go on having sex while there was a fight next door – for at least two more hours, before they heard someone screaming. According to him, it was the same screams that he had heard before, from the woman.

That would make sense, because Avery had been found with bruises and abrasions. The story rolled on, and Clayton recapped about how it all went silent for a few more minutes, before they finally heard a constant string of pleadings, and then finally, the gunshot. They were so paralyzed with fear that they didn't move. Eventually, Clayton decided to see what was going on. He peered out the window, and saw a man leaving the apartment.

I was bored by this point. I looked at Adrian, and he looked just as bored, too. He pretty much had no use here right now, and my gut clenched after a second. It killed me that I couldn't tell him the connections between Avery, her apartment, my case itself… Eventually, Clayton ended his story, and the three of us exchanged relief glances.

Dimitri leaned back in the chair. "That'd be absolutely great, Mr. Morgan … but if you can't give us a description of the guy, then coming in was pointless." Clayton's eyebrows raised, and he turned to Adrian. Adrian shrugged; I guess Clayton had hastily told Adrian what he had saw, and that's why they were arguing when we came in.

"Sure I can. He turned around; I'll never forget that face." Dimitri and I leaned forward, and Adrian leaned back. Yup, he was bored out of his mind. He started to describe the person, and he sounded like your ordinary, average Joe, for the most part. Until he described the scar that trailed from his eyebrow across the left side of his face. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard this, and Dimitri caught me before I fell.

I knew that man. Mason and I had arrested him four years ago for assault, assault of a police officer, and murder one. It had been a brutal bar fight, and Mason and I had taken some heavy damage when we tried to break it up. Adrian's eyes flickered in recognition, and I gave him all the credit for keeping this professional.

That man was supposed to be in jail for twenty five years… So how the hell did he get out?

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><p><strong>I think the most amusing thing was writing Rose and Adrian batle it out, detective vs. lawyer. xD<strong>

**Lolol oh snap you don't know who it is. You should guess, though. That's always fun!**

**Review ... or someone in this story doesn't make it out alive. ):**


	17. Swing, Swing

**Look who's alive! Things have been kind of crazy. My grandma went into surgery, and even though everything turned out well, I'm still a little "eh". I guess I'm not really feeling anything. Although, I'm fucking scared of the hospital. It's ... it's not fun. On top of all that, another family member (and even though I only met him once) is in the ICU from a overdose, currently on life support. They don't think he's going to make it. And lastly, my best friend decided that moving would be the best for her. :| I just haven't wanted to write for awhile between all these things, but I was determined to get this chapter up and going ...**

**With that being said, expect a one-shot to come out before I post another chapter. It'll be a pretty emotional one-shot (at least, I think so, lol), and I'm really excited for it, because it allows me to get all of my current frustrations and thoughts out. That should be up sometime tomorrow. :D Oh, and I had no intention for a POV break. This was supposed to be a longer chapter, but I was having trouble forming the words. I switched the POV, and it allowed me to finish it, even if it wasn't where I wanted it. Lol. But that'll be in the next chapter~**

**And lastly, I try to make it a point to respond to every single review I get ... and I didn't do that this time, I'm sorry. I'm a little off center right now when it comes to staying on task with things like that. But, I do read every single one of your reviews, and they all make me smile. Thank you guys for that. (:**

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><p><strong>chapter seventeen; "swing, swing."<strong>

I had only been to Tarasov once, and it had been about two years ago, for a transport. It had been on Christmas day they needed to transport the prisoner, and the guy who normally did it was out on break – so naturally, Mason and I did it, because they refused to let me do it alone. I didn't think too much about the building at that point, because I had been more concerned on getting out of the damn cold, but now that I looked at it, I was terrified.

It _looked _horrible. At least, on the outside – I knew the inside was as clean as it would ever be. It looked like one of those medieval, gothic castles from Europe. I couldn't help but wonder exactly why they had designed the building like this. Maybe it was to make a statement … but that was kind of a heavy statement. It was the biggest prison in the state of Montana, and it was about five hours outside of Missoula. It really was in the middle of nowhere, completely obscured by a tuff of forest trees.

The five hour drive had been downright terrible. At least, I had thought so. It wasn't just Dimitri and I in the car – Charlotte had tagged along too. She was curious as to where this case was going with our current tip, but she also needed to go to Tarasov for something I couldn't even recall. I didn't like being confided to one area for a large amount of time, but it was easy for the other two. Charlotte had spent an hour on her laptop frantically typing away at something, and then another fifteen minutes, clearing us to go through the prison. After that, she had passed out cold.

Dimitri was driving, and I had been trying to sleep. However, that wasn't possible. I was dead tired, and had been for the past week or so. As I lay down in bed next to my husband, the comparisons between Dimitri and Adrian never stopped. They kept going and going, enough to the point where I could hardly sleep. It killed me every time I thought about this. I had pulled my knees up to my chest, and tried to get some sleep, but sleep evaded me. It was almost impossible.

Eventually, I had decided against it, and just settled for staring out into Montana's wilderness. We passed a few small towns, but nothing that compared to the size of Missoula. The radio station flickered in and out, and I fought the urge to play my iPod. The last time I had played my iPod, it had resulted in a pretty hot and heavy make-out session between Dimitri and I in the unmarked car. But that didn't help me – I picked it up, and muddled through the songs.

"You can put it in, you know. I don't really care." That always surprised me when he said it. I looked down at the iPod, and then looked back up at Dimitri. That was probably not a smart idea. We were so close in the car; I could smell his clean, minted aftershave … I felt like I could hear his heartbeat, too. Was it just me or was it beating as fast as mine? I hesitated, and both of our hands reached for the iPod jack.

The effect was instant. As soon has his hand touched mine, that shock of electricity shot through my body, and my fingers moved towards his. His breathing became hitched as our hands intertwined, but the moment only lasted for a few seconds. He pulled away first, cleared his throat, and his hands clenched around the steering wheel. I plugged the iPod in, and Eminem's _Space Bound_ filled the air. The song had gotten to me from day one. Behind me, I heard Charlotte stir, but she didn't wake up.

"This song's annoying," Dimitri finally said as the song reached its chorus, and I found myself grinning. He never really had a taste for my music, which changed from day to day. I mostly listened to rock, but I did listen to everything – expect country, and a good portion of the 80s. So, I changed the song – it was on shuffle, and as soon as the guitar riffs hit the air, I stopped breathing. _I Wanna _by All-American Rejects.

The words had been on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't do it. Flashes of Adrian shot through my mind, which only boiled my blood… I twitched, and then clamped my mouth down. I couldn't do it. The words _I'm sorry_ just couldn't come out. How could I make it right? How could I tell him I was sorry for everything I had done? And why was this still bothering me? Maybe it's because of what Dimitri had asked me. _If you really love him, then why'd you go for me? _My hands clenched together, and we drove the rest of stretch of road in silence.

Two hours later, we had finally arrived, which led us to where we were now. It was colder up here than it was in Missoula, and I guessed we were somewhere close to the border, perhaps near the mountains. Our feet crunched underneath the light snow, and Charlotte swore as she looked down. Apparently, she didn't like the snow like me. That brought a small smile to my lips. Twenty minutes later, we had passed through security, and we were waiting in a holding cell designed specifically for officers to talk to prisoners.

There was an odd feeling about the prison, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Something about it didn't settle right in my stomach, but I shoved it off. It was a prison – people died here every day, and this was where thousands upon thousands of criminals were kept … but that wasn't it. I knew Dimitri was feeling the same thing I was; the look we shared was obvious. It was only Charlotte who didn't seem to notice, but then again, she had turned strictly business, which we both knew masked her fear of being in the prison.

It took awhile to transfer him from all the way across the courtyard, into the main area. Apparently, he had been moved to high tech security unit, aka solitary confinement, after he had boasted racist comments and killed two inmates with his bare hands. I sat down in the chairs, noticing how it was made of metal and bolted to the ground. They weren't kidding around here. The whole room had been designed to cause no damage. The table and the rest of the chairs had been bolted down. The metal they were made out of with was shiny and reflective. I found myself staring at my reflection.

"Officer Hathaway! Such an honour to see you. How's your hand?" I flinched, and covered my hand protectively. I could feel Dimitri's piercing glare next to me as he took in our suspect, and my other hand clenched. Charlotte was the only one who remained impassive. I titled my head to the side, my hair falling to my left, and kept my face cold. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"Excellent. Enjoying your hell-hole?" He chuckled, and Dimitri frowned as the man slid into the seat across from us, a corrections officer right behind him. The handcuffs clinked against the metal, and I noticed that he was handcuffed at his feet, as well. The corrections officer looked bored, but alert. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like working in a place like this.

"Now, Rosemarie, I wouldn't call it a hell-hole. It's quite pleasant here. And who is this lovely young man next to you. I see that he's a detective … As you are. Hm, I hadn't heard about that." I rolled my eyes. Did he really expect to know about my promotion? If he was under maximum security, then he shouldn't have, especially since the drive was five hours away from Missoula. The guard nudged him with his gun, and I wondered what that was all about, until he chuckled. "My apologizes. Detective Hathaway."

"Belikov, this is Robert Doru." Charlotte paused as she turned towards the corrections officer, but she bit her tongue. What were we supposed to say? _Excuse me, but have you been making sure your prisoners are really where they're supposed to be? Are you sure you don't have a little bit of the Shawshank Redemption going on here? _Dimitri only nodded and his lips fell into a tight line. I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. If Robert Doru was here, then why the hell were we even here? The five hour drive was nothing more than a god damn waste.

This only proved that Clayton's tip was false. And yet, I found it hard to believe that it was false – how the hell could it not be false? He seemed so sure of himself, and more importantly, why the hell would he come in and tell us this false tip, only to get him arrested? That didn't seem likely – unless he was so screwed up in the head that he had no idea … But again, that wasn't plausible. I struggled for the words, and Charlotte immersed herself into conversing with the corrections officer.

I only heard half of their conversation – Charlotte was asking about the lock up procedure- partly because I wasn't really intently listening and partly because I was so fixated on Robert. There was something in his demeanor that made me curious and that uneasy feeling in my stomach never went away. His lips turned up into a smile that reached his eyes as our eyes locked. He banged his wrist cuffs on the metal, and the guard hit him with the gun. I fought the urge to flinch, but Robert didn't seem to mind.

"He's not lying, that man. He knows what he saw." Dimitri sat up straighter, and Robert shuffled his feet underneath us. Had he seen Clayton? Of course he did… "Or rather, what he heard." This sent shivers up my spine. Robert hadn't had a visitor – apart from a sister, I believe – in a little over three months … so how the hell would he know? This was the real world; psychic shit didn't happen in here … but Dimitri seemed intrigued, and we both waited for him to go on.

Instead, Robert kept his mouth shut as he continued banging his wrist against the table. The sound of metal hitting metal echoed throughout the room, and the guard turned around with an exasperated look on his face. "_Shut up_. Don't speak until you're spoken too," he growled as the gun came in contact with his head. The bruising on Robert's face indicated that things like this were common. Naturally, you were supposed to flinch away from the gun – you would learn quickly to get your shit together. That didn't work for Robert. There was blood trickling down his forehead, but he didn't show any signs of pain.

"But that's okay. You'll never believe what I have to say – because just how could it all be possible? I'm here, and the crime happened five hours away. Hmm, I wonder." His eyes glazed over, and I pushed my brows together. It seemed that Robert was insane. Eventually, he regained his composure – but it didn't last for long. His hand started twitching first, followed by the rest of his body. It wasn't anything close to a seizure, but it was something similar to that nature. The guard stopped his conversation with our DA, and instantly went to Robert's side, attending to him.

Robert began gurgling, and Dimitri and I got out of our chairs, stepping back to give the guard some space. The suspect began rocking back and forth, his body still twitching. By this time, his eyes had rolled into the back of his head, and I couldn't help but wonder why he was in maximum security instead of a hospital. The only explanation was that Robert was sick – insane, obviously … After a moment, Robert stopped, and pointed at Dimitri and I. His eyes were still glazed over.

"I hope you two lovebirds enjoy hell."

The guard rolled his eyes as he pulled Robert up by the collar. "Will you stop with your god damn nonsense rambling? Or are you faking today just to get attention? C'mon on, we're not dealing with this shit today. You should be lucky that we even let you out, and you repay us with this? You know the consequences for that, Robert." Robert's lips twitched into a faint smile, his face haunted with memories. The guard unhooked him, and forced him out of the room and into another guard's hands, who looked equally displeased with Robert.

Once the door was shut, the guard turned back to us, and gave us an apologetic smile. "Sorry 'bout that. He tends to get that away sometimes." This guard was young, twenty-one, perhaps. Of course they would put the newbies out with the criminals. "He also doesn't learn when to shut up. And before you ask, that's not exactly uncommon here." He was talking to Charlotte now, and I knew exactly what he was talking about. He was talking about hitting the prisoner with the gun. She looked displeased, but said nothing. "It's more of a don't ask, don't tell policy." He shrugged.

The guard's radio buzzed and he sighed in response. I heard the words code blue, which was unsettling. A code blue in a hospital meant either cardiac or respiratory arrest, but I assumed it meant something else here – then again, maybe it didn't. He frowned and waited for the radio to stop with its transmission. The guard ran his fingers through his brown hair and he cursed loudly. "You two need to come with me. We're - and I mean the prison, not you guys - going into lockdown – someone's tried to escape. They're probably going to ask me to get you the hell out of here. Oh, and code blue means they hurt someone, and code green means combative person."

Well, this was going to be one hell of an adventure. I wanted to get out of this damn place as soon as possible. I felt incredibly unproductive as Robert had done his rambling, which was just proving nothing. The fact that Robert was here meant that Clayton was wrong and delusional. There was no proof that Robert had been missing from the prison (and how the hell could they prove that?), and therefore, our lead had just gone out the window.

The guard – I still had yet you learn his name – lead us to the main entrance before he paused and looked around. The whole hall was deserted; whatever this was, it was big. Then again, attempted escape from a prison was never a good thing. The radio buzzed again, and more words came out, although it was incredibly hard to decipher just what they were saying. Charlotte groaned, and Dimitri and I said nothing. The whole concept of how a jail worked was still new to me – and I assumed it was new to Dimitri. I was eager to see what was going on, and I took a step forward before I felt a hand take mine.

That was enough to get me to stop. His hand was warm to the touch, and I snapped my eyes shut for a brief moment. I made a notion to tug on his hand, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The tug was weak, and his hand gripped harder around mine. It was very hard to breathe by this point, and I didn't know what to do. Did Charlotte notice this thing going on between us? If she did, she didn't say anything – nor did she probably think anything of it. The guard was so damn focused on his radio that he wouldn't have noticed it.

As the temperature in the room increased, I slowly turned around to face him. My chest tightened, and his eyes spoke legions. It was hard to understand what he was saying, other than the initial 'don't do it, Rose' … but there was some regret, some sadness. I was sure that my eyes mirrored his as I thought back to our nights together. I was sure he was remembering the same thing …. and again, his question came back to my mind. Couldn't I just shove that thought away? It was almost impossible.

It was at that moment when it hit me that I really needed to talk to someone, and that someone would be Lissa. I had put off talking to her for far too long, and now was the time to do it. When we got back to Missoula and during my time off, I would go and talk to her. She needed to know and I needed someone to talk to. My mind was made up – the longer I put it off, the crazier I would go.

It seemed like forever before we finally loosened our grip, and I pulled my hand away. The rest of my body was cold, but that hand burned like fire. Dimitri cleared his throat and turned back to the guard, and a gleam of gold caught my eye. _Samuel Valdez_. Okay, so the guard finally had a name now – this was good. There was more mumbling, and I realized it was coming from our very frustrated DA. I had told her she didn't have to come with us, but she insisted – again, there was another reason she was here at Tarasov. Samuel laughed at whatever Charlotte said, and shook his head.

"Unlikely. Though, that's not really my problem. You're the one who came up here in the first place, so you're going to have to deal with it." Based off the banter and by the way Charlotte mumbled in response, the two knew each other. The connection clicked in my mind; this was Andrew's, her fiancé, younger brother. Samuel leaned over towards the left, and peered down another hallway. There was a loud scream, followed by what sounded like a gunshot (or perhaps a taser hitting the wall), and silence again.

His lips became set in a straight line, and a loud screeching sound came through the radio. The screeching only lasted for a few minutes, followed by white noise. The communication system had been cut out, and Samuel cursed loudly, but moved toward towards the exit. He held his gun tightly around his hands, and motioned for us to follow him.

"How often does this happen?" Dimitri's words surprised me, especially considering how that's just what I had been thinking. Samuel gave a sigh, blowing a tuff of hair up, and he finally shrugged.

"Depends on what you mean by that. Often as in someone tries to break out? Probably once or twice a year. Often as in people get hurt? Every day. This is the second time this month, though. You think they'd learn." Samuel rolled his eyes as we came towards a door, where he punched in a series of numbers. It was a long code, and I was shocked he could remember it; even I couldn't remember long codes like that. The red light on the lock turned green as he hit enter, and he opened the door.

"I'd love to stay and chat, but that was their request for you guys to get the hell out of here. There's going to be a huge storm coming in soon – probably about half an hour – and they don't want you here during that time … can't say I blame them, although I'm here all night." He turned towards Charlotte, and then back to us. "I'll get those records to you as soon as I can, but it'll be a few days. Have a nice drive back." He turned towards our DA again. "Tell Andrew I'll get it to him whenever my computer's working; it's got some kind of virus. And that I'll be down next weekend."

His eyes darted out towards the sky, and he frowned. It had started to rain, and it was raining hard. The light bits of snow that had been on the ground were washing away before our very eyes. Dimitri stepped forward, and Samuel gave us another small grin. "Looks like the storm's here now. Be careful out there; the roads wash away pretty easily during weather like this. You three have a fun drive back now, y'hear?" The three of us were already through the door, and Samuel shut the locked one behind us. He wiggled his fingers, and then turned around and ran the other way.

"Fuck this," Charlotte said as she looked up at the sky. She pulled the hood over her hair and stuffed the remaining bits into the hood, not wanting to get wet. I couldn't help but laugh at this, because a little rain never hurt anyone. She gave me a glare, and I couldn't help but laugh harder at that. I regretted that decision as soon as we stepped out into the rain, and the three of us became soaked in a matter of seconds. We made a mad dash towards the car and slid in.

I couldn't help but notice how sculpted Dimitri's chest looked underneath his wet clothes. It looked just like I remembered it, and I had to push my legs together as I thought about this. My breathing was becoming labored, and I closed my eyes as I leaned against the window. It felt cold, but it was nothing compared to my suddenly warm body. I focused on taking deep breaths, and even that wasn't working. His after-shave was making my head pound. My mind as drifting back to the time we had been in the shower, and his body had been glistening under the water beads...

"Who's laughing now? You're just as soaked as I am," Charlotte's words managed to snap me out of my own little word, and I was thankful for that. I caught my breath and turned away from Dimitri. I couldn't make eye contact with him, because if I did, my mind would be down the gutter. I merely shrugged, and the remembered the drive was five hours, and we didn't have a change of clothes. I cursed at this, to which both Dimitri and Charlotte chuckled.

We spent the next forty five minutes driving in the pounding thunderstorm, which was just growing worse and worse as we drove on. Countless of times, the lighting had blind sighted Dimitri, and the car swerved. The thunder made the car vibrate, and it was just like a scene out of a horror movie. I had finished my book long ago and after cursing the damn book name in vain, I couldn't reread it. Instead, I fumbled around with my iPod again, just like we had done on our way to Tarasov.

Ten minutes into the drive, however, the radio had cut out. Five minutes after that, Charlotte had started talking on the phone to her fiancée, and the news was looking grim. It had been three separate cells, and they had all combined into making one, gigantic, super cell, which currently traveled from Missoula all the way to wherever the hell we were. There were some road closures, but nothing that we should worry about, because the state troopers managed to get it under control. Andrew also said the storm should be letting up slightly after we arrived in Missoula. That wasn't reassuring at all; I wanted to have a dry set of clothes and be in a warm bed _now_.

So, Charlotte and I decided that with four hours and fifteen minutes left in the drive, to make the best of it. We ranged from playing battleship on my iPod to asking random questions. It was another forty-five minutes later when we saw the flashing red, white and blue lights in the distance that said we were in trouble. When you had those lights flashing, it was never a good sign.

Dimitri cursed in Russian as we approached the scene. Instantly, our senses went on alert, even if we were technically off duty. It was raining so hard that we couldn't see fifteen feet in front of us, but those lights were so bright it was impossible to miss them. He pulled the car to a stop, and opened the door, letting a gust of wind in with him, followed by rain. I wasn't dry yet, but I was dry for the most part, and not happy to get hit with rain again. The door slammed shut, and I couldn't help but wonder what was going on.

**dimitri's pov.**

The rain didn't bother me. In fact, the rain was nice – it was the biggest indicator that winter was gone, even if we did have a small chance of it snowing. The thunder was nothing more than background noise as I approached the first person I saw – a state trooper. The trooper gave me a skeptical look but it softened as soon I flashed my badge. He sighed, and he knew I was expecting an answer.

"About thirty minutes ago, there was a head on collision. It was a passenger van and a SUV. The SUV caught fire, although the rain managed to stop it from progressing. Right as the SUV light up like the fourth of July, a car swerved and hit it. Fourteen injuries, and one dead on arrival. Hospital can't transport a helicopter in this weather, and the closest one is in Missoula." We were about halfway there, if I remembered correctly. I knew what the trooper was going to say before the words even left his mouth. "Long story short, we're closing the road for the night. There's not much we can do in the rain, and we even have to wait until that lets up."

"How long until it stops?" The trooper shrugged, and I internally cursed. The thunderstorm wouldn't last for more than a couple of hours, but all of us just wanted to get back to Missoula. The thought of being in a car, in such close space with Rose… it was too much for my mind to handle. Although, I instantly became smug at knowing she was thinking the exact same thing about me. My words had left an amazing affect on her, and I was thankful for that.

"I'd say a couple of hours. If you trail back about ten miles, there's a little motel there. It's not the best in the world, but it'll tide you over for the night. They've got a dryer, too." I nodded and offered my thanks before turning back to the car. I clasped my hands together and breathed into them as soon as I shut the door behind me; I had no idea just how damn cold I was until I went back into the heat. I allowed myself to warm up before I answered their piercing glares.

"Three way collision; just happened about thirty minutes ago. 14 injured, one dead on arrival. They've closed the road for tonight, because the Missoula hospital can't get their helicopters out in the rain. Guy said that there's a motel about ten miles the other way. He said we could dry our clothes there, too." At first, the both of them looked pissed – presumably because they couldn't get back to their other halves, but eventually accepted the plan, knowing that there was no way to get around it.

I checked my cell phone, and noticed that I had no reception. That was great – not only was I in the middle of nowhere, but I had no freaking reception. _Son of a god damn mother fucking bitch_. The two females in the car managed to have reception, and only Charlotte called her other half. Rose's face was pulled up into a thoughtful expression, and I desperately wondered what she was thinking. With the silence, I backed out of our current location on the road and the short drive to the motel.

It was slightly hard to spot, considering the heavy amounts of rain, but it was there – and it had rooms, even though it looked packed. Finding a parking spot was hard, but after a few minutes of looking around, we eventually found one. Rose and I had our guns, and I felt so much safer with them. The car was locked, and we made another mad dash into the lobby. It wasn't the best lobby in the world, but it wasn't exactly the worst – I had stayed in some pretty bad hostels in my time in Russia, and this didn't compare in the slightest.

Charlotte was already at the receptionist by the time I managed to ring out my clothes, Rose right next to me. I watched her as she attempted to dry off, and found myself smiling slightly at how she was observing the area around her. Like me, she was on high alerts. We removed our shoes, and Charlotte made her way over to us, a key in her hands. "I'll see you two in the morning, alright? I don't know about you, but I'm really not in a big rush to head on back … We're only about three hours out, give or take."

Rose and I nodded in agreement. "How about we meet here in the lobby, ready to go, at ten?" I checked my phone. It was dawning on eleven o'clock. "That gives time for our clothes to dry and for all of us to get a good night's sleep." I sounded like a freaking parent. The blonde gave a nod in compliance and hurried off towards her room. The door opened from the wind and the two of us shivered slightly as the gust wrapped around our bodies. This storm was _not _pleasant. I had been through some terrible storms in Baia, but this was on my top three.

The receptionist looked bored. Hell, he looked like he didn't even give a damn about anything that was going on. He looked up at me, and then back towards Rose, who was waiting behind me. When the words came out of the man's mouth, my heart shattered into two.

"Looks like you two are just in luck. There's only one room left for the night."

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><p><strong>Lol, I bet you know where this is heading. ;D<strong>

**And dayum Robert, you kind of crazy. But how does that work ... if Robert was in jail when Clayton said he was so sure it was him? Hmm. I wonder...**

**Now review or Umbridge rips your perky little boobs off.**


	18. So Here We Are

**Oh, why, hello there. Look to who finally got around to updating. (:**

**Ah. You see, I'm not really fond of this chapter. I got hit with serious writers block and finally got past it. I think the reason is that I planned this to be the chapter where Rose and Dimitri got back together - but as I started writing it, it didn't feel right at all, and therefor, I decided against it. But do not fret, young grasshopper, their time is coming.**

**Random fact: All street names in this story are real streets in Anchorage. Random fact two: The car crash in the previous chapter is a true story. It happened the night I was writing the previous chapter, about thirty miles outside of Anchorage. **

**Lastly, I dedicate this chapter to _SKDanielle16_! I normally don't do dedications, but sometimes, they're needed. I just have two things to say now: I gave that bitch burnt bread. Bitches love burnt bread. Andd ... I AM THE DANDELION THAT GIVES BELLE HOPE~**

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><p><strong>chapter eighteen; "so here we are."<br>rose pov.**

It was so damn fitting that this would be the case. That there would only be one bedroom in the whole fucking motel left. A string of profanities were forming in my head, but I didn't say them out loud. Why did that car crash have to happen? Couldn't it have waited until we were long past it? And why the hell did it have to storm tonight? Fate was fucking with me. Karma really was a bitch. I bit my lip hard enough that I could taste blood, and I was thankful for that. It kept me from kicking the nearest object.

There was no way around this, too. I wasn't sleeping in the car, and I wasn't going to let Dimitri sleep in the car. Charlotte was long gone – I could always stay with her … but I didn't feel like it; I didn't want to intrude on her personal space. My hands clenched together, and I started to lose circulation in my hands. _This. Was. Bullshit. _I pulled open my phone, but didn't call Adrian, like I should have. I couldn't call him – he would know that I was stuck in the storm, would he not? Admitting defeat, I decided to text him. _Car crash three hours out. Closed the road. Staying the night in a motel. See you tomorrow. _

Thankfully, the signal on my cell phone reception cut out. It had been spotty to begin with, and the lighting had clearly sent it over the edge. I could never be more thankful for this – I would probably have a couple of messages from my husband in the morning, but I didn't care. Right now I could focus on the terror that would be in the god damn room. And _of fucking course_, there would be only one god damn mother fucking bed. When Dimitri left the room, I landed on the bed and screamed into the pillow.

I kicked and thrashed until I heard the door open again, and I shot out of the bed right away. Good to know that my partner had probably seen my immature temper tantrum. Oh well, I didn't give a damn right now. I was pissed off beyond all belief and I wanted to do was let my clothes dry… which was going to be a lot harder than I thought it was. Dimitri cleared his throat.

"I can go sleep in the car. I mean, that's not a problem … all I ask is that you let me use the shower and allow my clothes to dry before I do that," He replied with a sheepish tone. I immediately scoffed at the idea. There was no way I was going to let Dimitri sleep out in the car, especially in this rain. The thought was absurd; I would be sleeping in the car and he could have the bed.

"_You _will be sleeping here and I will be sleeping in the car." I stood up from the bed; I didn't care if I was wet, and it was almost pointless for me to go get clean and let my clothes dry, because I would still have to run to the car. Or I could sleep with Charlotte, but I still felt like that was an invasion of her privacy, even if I knew she wouldn't mind … No, I was going to sleep in the car. Dimitri snorted as I started walking towards the door.

I knew what he was going to do before he even did it. His hand clasped around my wrist, immediately bringing warmth. "Roza, stop being so damn stubborn. You know I'm not going to let you sleep in the car, especially when you're soaking wet." I rolled my eyes, and he sighed.

"You think I'm going to let you sleep in the car either, Comrade?" I turned around and pursed my lips. His expression was deadpanned, and I fought the urge to smile. If we had still been together, then we wouldn't be having this fight… we would have been ecstatic that there was only one room left, and then even if there wasn't, we would have wound up in one room either way… Pain flooded my body as I thought about this, and I clutched my stomach. Dimitri instantly let go of his grip, and I took a deep breath. He sighed, a tuff of brown hair going up in the air before it fell back on his face.

Finally, his lips twitched up into a smile. "I think we can compromise on this. How about I sleep on the floor and you get the bed?" Was he crazy? I folded my arms across my chest, strangely feeling like my mother.

"Absolutely not. I will be sleeping on the floor and you will be on the bed. No ifs, ands, or buts, Comrade." I held my ground, and Dimitri raised an eyebrow at me. He was trying to make me falter underneath his gaze, and I knew that he was. My stomach squirmed as I forced myself to look in his brown eyes.

And just like that, I was gone.

My mind had hazed over, and it was hard to think. Staring into his chocolate eyes made my memory become clouded with our nights alone together. I had worked so hard not to look into his eyes all week, aside from the occasional glance … because I knew that they would be the death of me. Oh sweet baby Jesus, they were.

Dimitri noticed my falter, and a small smirk played on his lips. It wasn't like had planned that we would be the only room available during the night. It wasn't like he planned that there would be a storm … would he? I pushed my brows together. He had insisted we travel today. Not yesterday or tomorrow, but _today_. He had told me that it was because this was the only time Robert would be released … but I knew that was a lie. We were detectives – we could see Robert whenever we damn well pleased.

My eyes narrowed at my partner, but that longing feeling never went away. The smirk vanished and was replaced with a crooked smile, one that I had so rarely seen. "You son a bitch." The crooked smile grew, and I just couldn't be pissed at Dimitri. I was trying so hard, and it wasn't working. _If you love him, then why'd you go for me? _The question would never leave my mind. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't say anything. The words wouldn't roll off my tongue.

Instead, I slumped down on the floor and leaned back up against the wall for support. This was one big mess I never wanted to be in, and it had hit me so sudden. I scoffed at myself, knowing _that_ was a lie. It wasn't sudden – it had always been there. It had been there since day one, and I was just running away from something I was afraid of. I was afraid of the relationship Dimitri and I had begun to truly form. I was afraid that I was going to lose him at a moment's notice…

I was just afraid of everything.

I took a deep breath. My hands were shaking. Everything about the relationship Dimitri and I shared was _wrong_ – we were even breaking rules of the station by being with another co-worker…. it was downright morally and ethically wrong. Of course, by nature, it would feel so _damn _good. The Russian slid down next to me, and pulled me into his big arms. He may have known about the storm and the possibilities about us getting stuck, but I don't think he had been prepared for this. My whole body was shaking by this point, and I was surprised that I wasn't crying. No, I would not cry – I was going to be strong.

Dimitri ran his fingers through my hair, to which I found oddly soothing. "I know exactly what you're thinking, Roza. And it's not _wrong_– well, maybe it is ..." He paused and twirled a strand of my hair, curling it in his index finger. "I know you're thinking about to what I told you… and you know that I'm right. If you loved Adrian, then you would have never gone with me. I know you once told me that it was a little silver of hope … and to be honest, I don't know why you clinged onto it." It was amazing how we could just go from having a 'fight' to … to this.

This was living, breathing proof as to why I couldn't be with Adrian. He didn't _get it_. "I'm still a little pissed – but who wouldn't be? But it's not as bad as I thought it would. Maybe it was because I always knew that I would be nothing more than the _other man _in your relationship." His tone was hard and cold, but he was right. I cringed as I realized this. Son of a bitch. Dimitri chuckled, and I realized he was sort of talking to himself now.

"You know, a year or so ago, I would have laughed at this idea. I think I would have said something about it being morally wrong or whatever … and now, well, I don't know what I'd say." He paused, and bit down on his lip. God, I loved it when he did that… Focus, Rose, focus. "Dammit, Rose. I love you. I've only known for barely under a year, and I love you. I love you so much it hurts me sometimes. It's funny, because I want to get over this 'break-up', but I really can't. I want to be mad, but I can't."

_I love you_. My whole body was numb. This was the second time Dimitri had told me this, but when he first said it, it meant nothing. This was the first time in a little over a year the word had an effect on me. Adrian and I threw the word around a lot – but I never really _meant _anything with it. I wanted to bang my head against the wall until my head bleed and I was knocked out. We sat there in silence for a moment before Dimitri finally sighed.

"I'm going back to what I said earlier. Rose, if you really do love Adrian, then why did you come to me?" Any happily married person would have never left their significant other. But I was not a happily married person.

"I …" I paused. I had told Dimitri all about my marriage with Adrian one day. He had said something and I had just snapped underneath the pressure. I buried my chest into his heads, completely embarrassed. I had lost my sanity so long ago … how stupid was I? I needed to call up a divorce lawyer as soon as possible. I found myself wishing to be back in Missoula, so I could run over to Lissa's house and tell her everything.

And as hard as I tried, I couldn't say it. The words _I love you_ weren't rolling off my tongue like they should have been. Did I love Dimitri? Perhaps I did … but deep down, I couldn't say it. I tried so hard, and as I opened my mouth, I expected the words to come out…

But they didn't.

Instantly, I pushed away from Dimitri and dashed into the bathroom. Before Dimitri had time to process what I said, I had locked the door behind me, stripped bare, and turned the water to scalding hot. The shower was hot enough that I was starting to forget the feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it wasn't _enough. _After washing my hair, I let the water pelt my back, easing the muscle cramps.

Yet, it wasn't enough. The tears started to spill from my eyes, and I all wanted to do was to _go home_. And by home, I meant Missoula. I didn't want to go back to the house I shared with Adrian or the apartment with Dimitri … I wanted to go to Lissa and Christian's house. I turned the shower off, feeling the bile rise in my stomach out of nowhere. I barely made it to the toilet when I chucked up my food, and groaned against the toilet.

It was cold against my forehead, which was blazing hot. I closed my eyes as I focused on deep breathing. It was helping, but it wasn't help much. There was a knock on the door, followed by a soft murmur of my name. I could hear the nervousness laced in Dimitri's words. "I'm going to go sleep in the car." I stood up right away, feeling dizzy from up heaving my dinner. I flushed the toilet, unlocked the door and jerked the door open before Dimitri had the chance to move.

"Don't. Please, don't go…" I could barely hear the words myself. I saw Dimitri nod slightly, his eyes pained, but I didn't care at this point. I was too numb to care. Only now did I realize that I wasn't even wrapped in a towel … and once again, I didn't give a damn. I didn't care in the slightest. Dimitri had seen me naked many times before. I rolled into the bed, pushed the covers up, and lay in the bed, listening to the sounds of the hotel room.

Fifteen minutes later, I heard the water turn on – Dimitri must be taking his shower, and I forced my eyes shut. I was not going to open them. I _could _not open them. Eventually, sleep engulfed me as the shower turned off, and I didn't remember anything after that. Hours passed, and before I knew it, Dimitri was waking me up. I rubbed my eyes, groaned, and felt my clothes hit me.

Everything after that was a haze. We checked out of the hotel, made our way to the car, and rode back to Missoula. Charlotte was animated the whole time, talking with Dimitri and I – but we were both silent, and after awhile, she finally got the hint and fell asleep again. Not too long after she fell asleep, I did as well. It was the flashing lights that woke me up; a police cruiser had rushed past us, and I instantly recognized it as Eddie's patrol car.

We were finally back in Missoula.

The tight feeling in my chest lifted, but it was replaced by nerves. I had made my decision; I was going to talk to Lissa. My eyes caught a brief city of the sign that welcomed us to our city, and I cleared my throat. Dimitri turned to me, and I found myself frowning at the station – of course he would be playing a damn country song.

"Drop me off at Lissa's house." I said nothing more than that, but Dimitri changed the lane. Lissa's house was a couple of minutes into the city, and therefore, I would be the first stop.

The car stopped and I was out in a matter of seconds. I gave a halfhearted goodbye and rushed into my best friend's house. The thought about knocking only crossed my mind after I was in the house, but I shrugged it off. I figured that Lissa and Christian would be savouring the little moments they could sleep … and on top of that, Lissa couldn't have sex for six weeks. I shut the door softly behind me and made the way into the living room, where I reckoned the happy couple would be.

They were. And there was no ring on Lissa's finger. My eyes darted to her hand and then back at Christian, only to go back to her hand… Christian shrugged. He looked half-awake, as did his girlfriend. They were watching a movie on television and she was resting with her head in his lap. She gave a wave and then shot up as soon as she saw the look on my face. I hadn't looked at my face since last night – I could only imagine what she saw. Messed up hair, dark circles underneath my eyes … it probably wasn't a pretty site. Her eyes narrowed.

"What the hell happened?" I took a seat next to her. I didn't care if Christian heard this – hell, Lissa would probably tell him anyways. Instead, I fidgeted with my hands. I found it damn ironic that I had been so willing to tell my best friend, but when it came to do it … my throat was closed. I took a deep breath, and hung my head low.

"Please don't judge me when I tell you this. And I don't care if Christian hears it either, because he'll find out anyways." I managed to look up at her, her green eyes understanding. Even if Christian and I didn't always see eye to eye, he would listen when something was bothering me. Christian really was like the brother I never wanted. "And please, _please_ don't tell anyone. Dear God, especially not Adrian…"

And so I told them. I told them everything, starting from when Dimitri and I shared our first make out session after the three of them had left during our Christmas Eve dinner. I didn't even realize how tight my chest was and how labored my breathing was until I stopped. I dabbed my eyes with my sleeve, also unaware of the fact that I was crying. When my story was finished, I leaned back against their tan couch and prayed to God that Kennedy wouldn't start crying.

Christian, the whole time, was wearing an amused smirk on his face and I fought the urge to smack him so hard he wouldn't know what day it was. Lissa's reaction is what I was most afraid of. I watched her face go from shocked to pissed off to upset … to understanding? When I stopped breathing, she took my hand into hers.

"Do me a favour and breathe." Her voice held no emotion whatsoever. God dammit, she was pissed that I had done that to Adrian. The tears started to well up in my eyes again, and my best friend sighed. "Don't cry, either." Her tone had softened into the caring emotion that I knew … but I could still hear the hardness. "Rose … _are you fucking serious_?" I flinched and Christian instantly put his hand on Lissa's shoulder. She calmed down a little bit. "You cheated on Adrian, and I'm just _now_ finding out? Oh my God, it's been so obvious, too … Why didn't I put two and two together?" I pushed my brows together. Was she seriously more upset at the fact that I didn't _tell _her? I almost laughed. "I can't believe you cheated on him… You two seemed so … _perfect_. I knew you were having troubles…"

"I didn't mean too! I really didn't. I was just caught up in the moment and one thing lead to another and I just couldn't stop myself…" I sounded like a fucking drug addict. Lissa frowned; she looked like she wanted to say something, but it was Christian who spoke.

"You were scared. Dimitri provided you something that Adrian couldn't give you, so you took it and that obviously back-fired on you. You're still scared. You're scared you're going to lose everything in the blink of an eye." I blanched. Was I dreaming? _Christian _completely understood what I was feeling? Stupid, cocky, annoying, _Christian_? "Oh, stop looking at me like I'm some careless monster who has no feelings. I pay attention to these things. I guessed there was _something_ … but an affair!" His lips went back to his signature smirk. "Well, Rosie, you know how to _work it_."

Lissa hit him for me. I was speechless. Lissa frowned as she squeezed my hand. "Honey, I'm not proud of what you did – I think it's disgusting and a terrible thing – but you're still my sister. I can't be mad at you … remember when we were mad at each other once?" I did. It had been in high school and over a boy. It hadn't been pretty, either. "I'm never going through that again. But … it's also _your _life. Honey, I think you need to tell Adrian, though."

Christian cleared his throat, a nervous twitch in his eye. He knew something that Lissa and I didn't. I looked up at him, and he shook his head. Whatever it was, he wasn't going to tell me. "What do you think I should do? Other than tell Adrian…" That much was obvious. Lissa opened her mouth to respond, but the sound of a baby wailing from the baby monitor cut her off. _Mother fucker_.

Lissa instantly got up from the couch, gave me an apologetic look and went to go tend to her daughter. Christian mumbled underneath breath; something about how the damn kid never shut up, and I chuckled softly. The kid may annoy him to wits end, but he still loved Kennedy. Hell, everyone did. I could hear Lissa cooing their child through the baby monitor and almost jumped back when Christian rested his hand on mine.

"I think you should go for Dimitri, honestly. I know you love Adrian – and I think you always will – but I don't think you're _in _love with him… Not anymore. You may have once been, but not anymore." Christian paused. It never really occurred to me as to how many times we actually interacted on my job, especially when it came to fires. Christian would have seen a lot more to Dimitri and I's relationship dynamics than Lissa would have.

"You're like my sister. Obviously we don't see eye to eye, and that's because I'm simply awesome and you can't comprehend that … but I don't want to see you miserable. I know that if you stay with Adrian, you're going to be miserable because you'll be in a loveless marriage. I also know that if you're with Dimitri, you'll be happy, because it will be everything your marriage with Adrian isn't. It's full love. I don't condone the cheating … but if it makes sense, I understand where you're coming from."

"Oh, do you now?" I snorted. His blue eyes darkened over as I realized he was serious. He shook his head, and I knew that there was no way he was going to tell me what it was, though. I titled my head to the side, but he looked away and eventually sighed.

"I'm not going to tell you. I was in a dark place two and a half years ago, and that's all I'm saying on the matter. Believe me when I tell you that I understand." He paused. "Get a divorce with Adrian. Go be happy with Dimitri. And, for fucks sake, _tell _Adrian before you're like 'Oh hey guess what I want a divorce!' It'll help him more than you think it will."

I was stunned. I was expecting this advice from my best friend, not from her soon to be fiancé. "I, uh, thanks, Christian. That … that really means a lot." But it didn't help – only slightly. It only confirmed what I had been thinking, and even then, I still had no idea if I could truly go through with it.

"Anytime, Rosie. Anytime."

**two hours later.**

When I reached my doorstep, I felt my knees buckle. I didn't cave under it like I thought I would, for I had griped the doorknob fairly tight … but it was enough to throw me off balance. I decided it was time for me to be the stronger person in this and turned the doorknob. When I opened the door, I heard a small fit of laughter – one that was male and one that did not belong to Adrian.

I shut the door behind me and was greeted by a small person who I recognized instantly. I kneeled down to him and scooped him into my arms, to which he responded by giggling uncontrollably. "Hiya, Jackson. I haven't seen you in awhile. How are you, little man?" I pinched the bridge of his nose and his tiny hands clasped around mine, his eyes wide in excitement. Jackson almost a carbon copy of Jill, expect for the piercing blue eyes, curisty of his unknown father.

"Rosie!" Jackson was the only person who could call me that and get away with it. He gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek and I laughed as I kicked off my shoes, propping Jackson on my hip. The little kid was so damn adorable.

"Now where's your mamma and Adrian?" Jackson frowned and I heard a string of profanities leave my husband's mouth, followed by Jill's outraged exclamation of his name. I moved towards the dining room, where I found the two, once again, looking over a pile of documents.

Adrian looked like _shit_. I guess the news of his boss's daughter finally being dead had hit him. He was hunched over the table in an awkward position that I was sure left quite a bit of strain on his back. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing the wife beater her always wore under his shirts. His sleeves had been rolled up and pushed up the length of his arm, and he looked just disheveled in appearance. I looked from Adrian to Jill, who was wearing the same exasperated look Adrian did. She was worn out, too – but her look was a lot more subtle compared to Adrian's. Whatever they were looking over, they didn't look too happy.

"No, there's no denying it. You're missing something here." Jill pointed to the folder on her left. "It goes from the first of January to the about a week and a half ago. It hasn't been updated since. Even then, the date," she paused as she looked at the folder, "the 7th … it looks like someone altered the list."Adrian grabbed the document from her left and scanned it with his green eyes.

"Fuck me sideways. So we have money missing _and _someone got into the list of our clients?" My detective instincts were kicking in now. Jackson tugged on my hair and I felt no pain as I fought the urge to ask what was going on. I couldn't ask about this – asking about it before it became a case was against the protocol. I sat down in the seat next to Jill, where her son bounced happily on my lap. Adrian's eyes flickered towards me. "Hey babe. Glad to see you made it home. Your father called a few minutes ago; said he wanted to meet you at the little diner off O'Malley once you got home."

His eyes were so gazed over and unfocused I knew I might as well leave right away. Jill was sharing a similar expression, and even though it was Saturday, they were still working. Eugene had probably asked them to look into this, or someone stumbled across it and brought it to their attention. Whatever it was, I shrugged it off. I set Jackson down and he wrapped his tiny body around his mother's legs. All I did was wave mutter a goodbye, to which the focused pair didn't even hear.

This just proved that Christian was right. I took a deep breath as I went into bedroom to change out of yesterday's clothes. My head was pounding again as I looked through my drawers, settling on a simple pair of jeans and off the shoulder sweater. Within minutes of stepping back into my house, I was leaving again, my badge and my gun tucked safely away in my purse.

It took me a lot longer than I thought it would for me to get to the diner. It was lunch hour and that only dawned on me as I stepped into the small diner. It was based off the 50s, with the roller girls and poodle skirts. Why the hell did my father want to eat _here_? He hated this damn place.

I stood up on my tip-toes as I looked for his flashy character, finally catching sight of his stupid gold ascot. I made my way past the waiters towards the back booth and a scowl appeared on my face as I saw who my father was sitting next to. What annoyed me the most was that stupid laugh she had. It practically vibrated of the walls and her auburn curls bounced off her head as it moved back and forth. Oh, it made so much more sense as to why Abe wanted to meet me here. My mother loved this damn place.

"Not just no, but _hell no_," I hissed as I sat across from my parents. My mother's loving expression I only saw with her husband disappeared, but light traces were still there. Her eyes bore into mine and I fought the urge to flinch away.

"It's nice to see you too, Rose." My eyes trailed to my father where I noticed a faint smudge of lipstick on the corner of his mouth. Disgusting. I did not want to think about my parents being intimate – at all. I had the unfortunate experience of walking in on that when I was thirteen. _Never again_.

"Adrian said you wanted to talk …?" What did he want to talk about? _Please tell me that you and mom are moving far, far away to some remote island in the middle of nowhere and that you'll never see me again. Please, please, please tell me that's what it is._ A girl could dream.

Abe's posture became stiff and my mother went into a stance I liked to call "badass-CIA-agent-mode". This perked my interest – so they were here to talk about the case, it so seemed. I was about to ask why the hell my mother knew, and then I realized that _that_ was a stupid question. My father reached into his brief case – and I almost laughed at how cliché that was – considered pulling something out, but snapped it shut at the last minute.

His already dark eyes were hard. "I told you I wanted you to stay out of this case and I mean it. Your mother here agrees with me on this. I told you this before and I'm going to tell you this again – it's _dangerous_."

"Thanks for pointing o-" I paused as something clicked in my brain. I leaned back in the chair as the waiter appeared, but my father waved him off. I glared at the two of them with my eyes, although the look I was giving them didn't seem to have that big of an affect. "What the hell do you know that I don't?"

My mother opened her mouth, but Abe gave her a look that made her snap her mouth shut. I folded my arms across my chest, not amused by what the two knew. It was also the fact that my _mother_, who wasn't working on this case (because she didn't work national cases), knew about this and I didn't. I was actually working on the god damn case.

"No, Ibrahim, she needs to hear this. Oh, don't look at me like that. I know it's hard for you to believe, but this is her case, too." I raised my eyebrows at my mother. What happened to the mother who wanted me to stay far, far, _far_ away from law enforcement? Abe didn't look happy about this and I shot him a smug look. So much for him wanting me to stay off the case.

My mother's face fell into a serious line of concentration as she struggled for the right words. "Rose, I honestly don't know where to begin…"

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><p><strong>Lol, wut? Christian, what is this dark place you were in? The law firm is missing money and someone stole a list of their clients? Janine finally made he grand apperance in the story? Oh snapz.<br>**

**And she finally told Lissa. But of course Christian would be more willing to give her advice like that than Lissa. I adore the Christian and Rose relationship. It seemed fitting.**

**Review or I kill Peeta Mellark. I will make him a character in this story and I will kill him. ;D  
><strong>


	19. Closing Walls and Ticking Clocks

**I'm so sorry. I've just committed a sin: I lied. I thought I would have this done before school started, but I don't think that will be the case. It's probably got about six to seven chapters left (that's including the epilogue), and I just don't see how I can get that done before school starts, because I have a lot going on since I got home. So, be expecting updates on the weekends from here on out.**

**What I'm not sorry for is getting distracted by _The Mortal Instruments_ series. Nope, no shame in that at all. I'm a little over halfway through the third book. NO SPOILERS OMFGHJKSDGS. I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU SPOIL. My goal is to have the third one, the fourth one, and _Clockwork Angel_ done by the 22nd. I read really fast, so I'll be getting that done. It will put a hindrance on my writing. Mwhaa.**

**Uh. This chapter kinds of contains quite a bit. It may appear random, but I assure you, it's not. If you have any questions regarding anything having to do with the case - because it can get confusing - just shoot me a PM and I'll answer. Also, we get to see Sydney! Yay, Sydney! I quite like her. (:**

**Okay. Read on!**

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><p><strong>chapter nineteen; "closing walls and ticking clocks."<strong>

The world was officially ending. My mother was at a loss for words. I almost smiled in triumph, but kept my expression neutral. She looked flustered and I wondered why it bothered her so much. That thought quickly went away once I remembered that my father (and myself) was involved in this case, and therefore, she would be naturally worried. She sighed and pushed her water to the side, looking at it with distaste.

"I'm just going to state it outright, because there's no other way to put this." Why was she even bother trying to sugar coat it? "They're doing a release at the station tomorrow, but I would rather you know right now…" Now I didn't have to worry about my partner not knowing information that I knew. My mother sighed again, her expression back to the serious nature I knew all too well. Seriously, only my father could bring out some type of caring nature in her.

"The F.B.I has been infiltrated. Whoever is working with Claude is working for the F.B.I; or better yet, and this is more likely, Claude is _in_ the F.B.I."

The colour drained from my face. It made a hell of a lot of sense – Claude, the apparent mastermind, working for the F.B.I? That would explain as to how he was almost 'untraceable'. _There is no such thing as a perfect crime_. A perfect crime was not possible, although some would argue otherwise. I leaned forward, letting my arms drop from my chest onto the table.

"And how the hell do you know that? You're C.I.A. You're international, not all over the world … you don't deal with federal problems." My mother's lips twitched up into the ghost of a smile. Good to know she thought this was amusing.

"It's a checks and balances system. The F.B.I reserves the right to investigate the C.I.A and vice versa, under probable cause. When we learned that Claude was part of an international ring of trafficking, we stepped in. We've been working with the international law enforcement for awhile now, but we're not getting anything. Naturally, we turned into the F.B.I." She turned to my father, her expression strained. "The problem with this is that the F.B.I all trusts each other. For lack of a better word, they are biased – and therefore, they do not see little glitches like we do."

"People in the C.I.A may trust each other on some level, but we're not afraid of turning on each other's backs when it comes to security issues. We don't have that luxury in our line of job… so naturally, we turned to the power players, and found nothing. What we did find was that documents regarding Claude and his potential associates had been altered. They were little details, something that you won't catch at a first glance - sort of like the forged signature."

Abe did not look happy about this. I expected that, but he looked even more dangerous than normal. His dark eyes were almost black with fury, and I assumed it had to do with the fact that his precious F.B.I had been infiltrated. The hard look on my mother's face softened as she took my father's hands. "The only problem is that those documents could have been altered by _anyone_ in Washington, D.C who has access. That's at least two thousand people, if not more."

"So … what's wrong with the documents?"

"Names have been altered and they've been copied," My father finally said, his voice cold. It was amusing as to how much he did not like people fucking with his system. "Like your mother said, it's little things – editing the spelling of a certain name so it won't show up in the data base is an example. What they caught is the fact that the pages had been photocopied, since they have the original documents. The lining on the paper was off, as well."

I raised my eyebrows. This was clever. The copying of the documents didn't seem to be like a big deal, but it was the fact that the altered document had been put back that place was a big deal. So whoever this was had a connection to Claude … and the more I thought about it, the more it dawned on me that there was a great chance that this guy really was Claude. That's where the problem arose – there were, as my mother said, at least two thousand people who had access to those documents.

"And you have_ no idea_."

Abe smiled. It wasn't a forced smile, but it also wasn't a genuine smile, either. It was one of those 'I've-got-something' smiles. "I have an idea, but that doesn't mean I'm right. If I knew I was right, I would tell you … but you also wouldn't believe me when I told you who I thought it was. You'd laugh and say that it was impossible, because you're a naïve little girl."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm pretty sure I could handle it, old man." Abe just shook his head and I knew that this conversation was over with. I leaned back into my chair, looking for a waiter to take our order. Well, I didn't care if those two weren't going to eat; I was, because I was _damn hungry_. Finally, I managed to flag a waiter, who took my order. Once I had my food ordered, I looked back at my parents and sighed. They would help me, wouldn't they?

"Baba … is it possible for someone to break out of prison for a little bit and then make it back with no issues whatsoever?" My voice sounded skeptical because I was skeptical. Abe raised his eyebrows as he took in my information, as did my mother. Apparently they had not been informed of my visit to Tarasov the day before. I sighed as I retold my tale of Tarasov, about how Robert was there and had been crazy… The words even sounded crazy coming out of my mouth. Of course Robert Duro never left prison … but how did that explain the accurate detail of Clayton's confession?

Eventually, my story came to an end, and my mother's face was twisted up into her normal thinking look. My father went back to a deadpanned expression. "No, it's not… Unless…" He stood up from his seat, startling the poor waitress. Abe grabbed his briefcase and was already pulling out his phone. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I need to make a few calls. I'll see you tomorrow, Kiz." The pleasant thing about my father was that he just got up and left whenever he felt like it.

Which left my mom and I, alone, at the diner. This wasn't awkward at all.

My mother cleared her throat as she – once again – struggled for something to say. And, once again, she was at loss for words. It had been at least five years since I had seen her. I was too busy eating my delicious burger and fries to bother even making a conversation with her. I was halfway through my burger when she cleared her throat and pulled some money out of her purse.

"I'd love to stay and talk, but I need to get going. Um, that should cover for our portion of the dinner. Ah, um, bye." I waved her off, not really caring at this point. I was just glad that my mother was leaving and that I could eat in peace.

I had a lot going through my mind as I chomped down on my burger. My father clearly thought he was on to something – and his hunches' were usually right. That was what bugged me the most – he wouldn't tell me what he was thinking. Was it because he knew he was breaking potential protocol and wanted to keep me safe? The idea was logical, but not that likely. I munched one of my fries, completely in my own little world. The only thing that took me out of that world was a pale hand reaching down on my plate to take a fry.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, stealing my food? I have a gun, you know, I'm not afraid to use it," I growled as I dug into my purse. The laughter was what cut me off and I looked up, a smile spreading on my face as I took in the presence across from me. I hadn't seen the person in at least three years.

"Sydney, you crazy son of a bitch, where have you been? I haven't seen you, like, three years! How was Italy?" The blonde sitting in front of me had moved to Italy on a whim with her Italian boyfriend, only giving us little notice. She was an architect and was obsessed with Greek and Roman architecture and had taken the first change she could to move out of the country.

She reached out for more of my fries, to which I didn't complain this time. "Moved back…" She paused as she looked down. Whatever she wanted to tell me was embarrassing for her. "Angelo wanted us to get married in the States."

"You're fucking getting married?" I was appalled. Sydney, to me, had never really seemed like the one to really settle down with somebody. She had meet Angelo a few years ago in London on one of her world travels and the two had really hit it off. But Sydney's cheeks were flushed in a brilliant bright red and I knew there was more to this story. "Oh my _God_, Adrian is going to kill you. You know he's still super pissed that he hasn't met Angelo, right?"

Sydney and Adrian were brother and sister, although they had only known for about seven years. Their parents had divorced when Adrian was two and Sydney was just a baby. Their mother had taken Sydney and their father had taken Adrian. Their mother had gone back to her maiden name, Sage, and that was exactly why Sydney and Adrian didn't share the same last name. The two had met by chance and upon further investigation, it was revealed that the two were, indeed, siblings.

"I'm, ah," Sydney paused as I tried to figure out what she was going to say, and then it dawned on me. My jaw dropped in amazement as it hit me, and Sydney's cheeks went even redder. Her whole face was flushed by now.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" My stomach clenched as I thought about this. It seemed that everyone around me, minus my co-workers, were obsessed with the idea of having children. Baby fever was on the loose, and while I adored kids … I couldn't do it. I prayed to God that Adrian wouldn't bring the conversation up again – I highly doubted he would, considering how the last time we talked about it, it lead to our worst fight to date … but I didn't know.

"I don't know. I mean, I _think_ so. I'm showing all the signs, but I haven't exactly taken the test yet… Angelo doesn't know and please, for the love of God, don't tell Adrian. He's already going to murder me because I got engaged without having him first meet my boyfriend." The brother and sister shared quite a close relationship. Adrian was very protective over his little sister.

"It's good to know that you just appear out of nowhere, take my fries, and then I find out that you're possibly pregnant and getting married. My God, girl, what am I going to do with you? I thought you were into that 'waiting until marriage' shit?" When I had met Sydney, that's exactly what she had been – a good little Christian girl with Christian values who had big dreams on traveling the world, helping the sick and poor…

It was safe to say that I had also corrupted those values.

She pointed a finger at me. "That's _your _fault. You can also blame my brother for that one, too." Adrian, just like me, had been hell-bent on making his little sister not 'as much as a prude'. Sydney sighed as she ran her fingers through her blonde hair. "Rose, it was great seeing you after all these years, but I gotta go. I only came in here to pick our dinner. You guys have a date that you prefer the two of us to stop by?"

I pursed my lips together as I thought about this and eventually shrugged. "Anytime, but just so you know, Adrian and I are really busy right now. He's got some issues going on at work, and I've got a really big case right now. If we're not there, we will be sometime later in the night." Sydney nodded and got up from her seat.

The waiter had given her the food she had ordered. "Alright. Don't tell Adrian, though, I want it to be a surprise." She gave me a bright smile and kissed my cheek before she left.

It was nice seeing my sister-in-law again, but that left a pang in my chest. I was now officially lonely and the diner was clearing out from the rush hour. My food was finally finished and then it dawned on me that I had to go back to my house, full of information that I would have found out tomorrow. Why did they have to tell me that information _now_? Why couldn't they just wait until I learned the information tomorrow? Ugh, this was so frustrating! I was pretty sure that God was just trying to make me lose my damn mind.

When I finally make my way back to my house, Adrian and Jill are still going over the same thing they were before – files upon files of files. We exchanged greetings and since I was damn tired and had no reason to intrude on their 'work space', as Adrian like to call it. I knew that tomorrow was going to be a long and quite eventful (or boring). I was out within ten minutes of getting changed and brushing my teeth.

At some point during the night, Adrian must have slid into the bed with me, because when I woke up to my alarm at seven thirty, his arms were wrapped tightly around me and there was drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. I wondered how long it had been since he had climbed into the bed with me – probably six hours. I could faintly recall hearing a door shut, but I didn't really remember when that was, or if it was even real.

I pried away from his grasp, and he mumbled something incoherently. I chuckled to myself as Adrian rolled over and mumbled something else, before finally drifting off into a deep sleep again. I was dressed for work in a matter of ten minutes, and tugged at the hostler on my chest. It was really uncomfortable lately, and I didn't know why. The best way to describe it was that it was getting too tight on me. I made a mental note to hit the gym later, because that was unacceptable.

It was eight when I finally left the house and I was anxious to get the work. I was twenty minutes away from the station, and the meeting started at eight thirty – or so I had been told. I was half tempted to flick on the transmitter in my car that changed all the stop signals to green for me to go through them, but decided against it at the last minute. I only had to deal with two spotlights, so I took that as a good sign. Perhaps today was going to be a good day.

When I arrived at the station, it was _packed_. Every single officer and detective who worked there was on high alert, running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I had assumed that Alberta had informed them of the meeting, and she probably had guessed that Abe had told me what they thought. I was halfway to my desk when Charlotte pulled me into her office.

She flung files onto her desk, and I took them with a reluctant hand. "Those are the records of who's visited Tarasov in the past couple of months. Pray tell, does anything look wrong to you?"

I studied the records, looking over the list. It was small and subtle – but it was there. It was also similar to what my father had told me about the F.B.I records. "They were edited. Someone took out a name and edited it so that the name didn't appear." My body went cold and Charlotte gave me a forced smile.

"That's what I thought." She looked at her clock. "Come on, we don't wanna miss this meeting."

I followed her out of her office and took my place at my desk, which was slightly off from the center, but still allowed me to have full access to the gigantic protector now in the hallway were most of us walked. Dimitri was sitting at my desk, looking over a couple of files – which I recognized instantly as the ones Charlotte gave me. I rested against his desk. "They've been altered. At least, I think so. Looks like it. I need to talk to you when this is over, by the way."

"Alright. They looked like they were, but I didn't know…" He leaned back in his chair, a small smile on his face. "Have an interesting conversation with your parents last night?" I flinched. How the hell did he know about that? "I was there, subtly reading a book in a corner booth with Christian. I'm a little surprised you didn't notice me… then again, you didn't look that happy with your parents."

"What the hell were you doing there last night, with _Christian_, out of all people?"

Dimitri shrugged. "He wanted to ask me about something, some advice, per say." The question left me begging for more, but I knew I couldn't get a straight answer out of Dimitri. Whatever Christian wanted to talk to Dimitri about was obviously quite personal and there was no way and hell Dimitri would tell me. 'It's not my story to tell', he would say.

At that moment, Alberta called to everyone's attention. Everyone was incredibly eager to hear what she had to say, because things like this _never_ happened in Missoula. I was interested, but not really. It was the same information that my parents had relayed to me last night, only Dimitri didn't look as surprised as I had been. I had been jumping out of my seat when I learned this information (not literally), and yet, he remained so damn calm about it… how could he be so _calm_?

I was half paying attention when Alberta looked directly at the two of us. Instantly, I jerked back into attention – whatever she had to tell the station, this was something I had _not _heard. She ran a hand through her graying hair and sighed. "As you know, our lead suspect at this point was Robert Duro. Although Robert Duro had been confined to Tarasov, he was still the best lead we had." I frowned. When had we put Robert Duro as our lead suspect?

"Last night at approximately one thirty four am, Robert Duro was murdered at the hands of his cell mate."

There was a collective gasp throughout the station, including mine. My eyes shifted back towards Dimitri, who was wearing an equally shocked look. We had talked to Robert less than _twenty four hours ago _and now he was dead?

"Mother fucker!" I exclaimed and half of the station turned to look at me. So be it, I didn't give a damn – this was _my_ case, after all. Others were helping, of course, but we were the lead detectives on it. "So you're saying our _only _lead is dead and we're back at fucking square one?"

Being back at square one was _not _a good thing. I watched Alberta's face go from serious to amused as she nodded her head. "That's exactly what I'm saying, Detective Hathaway." The dismissal in her tone was evident and I cursed again loudly. The station was already back on its feet by this point and a good twenty minutes had passed since Alberta had started her speech. I muttered a string of curses underneath my breath as took my seat in my chair, wondering just what the hell I wanted to tell Dimitri.

"You said you had something to tell me?" I paused for a moment, trying to remember what that was. It had to do with the diner, my parents … Then it hit me as to what I had to tell him. Right, that was important.

"My parents basically told me what Alberta just told us last night. However, my father did say that he had an inkling towards who it might be." Dimitri's face perked up, and it killed me to know that I was only going to crush it again. "But, my father being the asshole that he is, decided not to tell me." His face fell into the similar frown I was wearing last night. I leaned back in my black chair, tapping my hands across my legs.

"But he didn't know about Robert being murdered. I bet he'd tell you now." I shook my head. My father would just scoff at the idea, because apparently his idea was the best and he wanted all the glory for it. Maybe if I … no, that wouldn't work either. "Then we're seriously back to square one."

"Pretty much." I paused, thousands of thoughts running through my head. "Then we might as well recap what we have… Oh, by the way, have you heard anything about a possible theft?" Maybe Jill had reported it; it seemed like something Jill would do. Dimitri shrugged. That was unusual; we usually heard everything that happened in this damn place. I shrugged it off as well, deciding that it would be best for me not to worry about it. Still, I knew that, deep down in my gut, that this was _somehow_ connected.

I fully believed that what Adrian and Jill had been talking about last night was related to the case I was currently working on. Adrian had been new flesh at the time Robert was being charged, and he was the lawyer (with help from Eugene Lazar) who had tried to keep him out on the streets and failed. The missing – or altered – records were starting to confirm my suspicions about that. The only thing that didn't make sense was the missing money from the account, which could very well be a cover up.

"So we have a forged signature from the hospital, altered records from the F.B.I in D.C and Tarasov … so it's _clearly _someone on the inside… but the question that remains is it someone in the inside who works with the case, or someone on the inside who … doesn't?" Dimitri frowned and my heart tugged. I didn't like seeing a frown on his beautiful face; it made his features look all wrong.

"It's probably someone who's working on the case, which narrows it down considerably." I reached into my desk drawers and pulled out the list of all the government officers working on this case. There was a list of twenty different people, ranging from profilers to C.S.I type officials. My father's name was on that list, as well as Victor Dashkov's , plus many others. "These are our top twenty or so people. Personally, I think we should start with the C.S.I guys; they're the ones who will be able to actually _edit_ something to make it flawless."

Dimitri shook his head. "I was thinking the opposite. That's the problem – it's _not _flawless. The fact that we managed to find mistakes is a possible indication of an amateur, which leaves me to believe that it's not someone who would work in a lab." My partner pointed to the list of field officers. "It's probably within these ten people, if anyone. Even if they didn't physically do anything, they more than likely paid someone off to do it, thus leaving them 'clean'," He rattled off. This was something I hadn't considered, in all honesty. "I think we can rule out your father, though."

Abe. That's right; he was investigating this damn thing as well. "I think you're right about that," I laughed meekly, not wanting to further this conversation about my farther. What if my father was Claude? Just what if? It didn't seem possible, but nothing was impossible… His overbearing personality towards a stranger would make it plausible.

"Aw, Rose, there's no need to flatter me – I'm right about everything," Eddie jumped in, a smile on his face. I rolled my eyes as he sat down on the corner of my desk, to which I shoved him off. "That's not nice. Sharing is caring. I don't see your name on this desk." I pointed to my name plaque on my desk, which read _Detective Rosemarie Hathaway_. "That can be easily removed. See?" His hands swatted at the plaque and it fell on the floor, making a ringing noise throughout the station.

"You asshole. Go pick that up and you damn well better expect to pay for any damages you may have caused it." Eddie snorted, knowing fully well that I didn't care about the plaque. "But seriously, Edison, I know I'm just that gorgeous and you always want to bask in my presence, but you should tell me why you're deciding to pester me."

His hazel eyes twinkled in the light. "Just for that reason, Hathaway. I need your everlasting beauty to make me look younger." I swatted his arm and he chuckled. "Do I really need a re-" He stopped halfway through his sentence, for both of our radios had just gone out. The static played in our ears for a little over a minute before a timid voice finally replaced it.

_Detective Hathaway, Detective Belikov. Report to 153 Muldoon Road. _

Dimitri raised an eyebrow. That address brought us to an abandoned warehouse; I had passed it last night before I had met my parents. Why the hell we were being requested? The voice didn't sound right – they sounded scared. My phone beeped, indicating I had a text message. It was from my father. _What the hell are you doing? Hurry your ass up and get the hell over here. _

My father was so affectionate.

Without a word, Dimitri and I packed up our vital items – our badges and our guns – and made our way out the door. The lights flickered in the car, the sirens trailing behind us, and within twenty minutes, we were pulling up to the address. There was a black SUV parked across the street and I shook my head. It was easy to tell it was my father's car, simply due to the flashy nature and the Washington, D.C, plates that were in the back. We pulled up next to the car and I was out before the truck even came to a complete stop. My father was leaning against his car, a cigar hanging between his lips.

"Took you long enough, kiz." He exhaled a puff of smoke and I coughed - his eyes danced in amusement. He flicked the cigar to the ground and stamped it out with his foot, and I gave him a look that clearly said _you're breaking the law, dumbass_. He pointed towards the warehouse across the street with his thumb. "Remember how I said I thought I knew who it was? I was right. Or well, I'm about ninety nine point nine repeating percent sure I'm right."

His dark eyes glanced over to the warehouse – it appeared abandoned. There was no movement inside or out. "We got a tip about twenty minutes ago saying that he'd be in there. Claude, himself, not one of his little pawns. According to the tip, he said he was done playing games and wanted to 'talk'. He specifically requested the two of you to talk to." He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes going hard. "I told you that this was incredibly dangerous."

"I heard you the first time, Baba." Dimitri cocked his gun back next to me and I followed the procedure. "That doesn't mean I'm going to listen to you, however, so stop treating me like a child." I was on fire now. "This is what we're going to do. We're going to go in there, and if you hear or see _anything _that makes you double think it, you call for back up. You got that?"

Abe chuckled. "I'm not stupid, little girl. I've been on the force since I was twenty-three; I know how this works. I'm fully hurt that you've underestimated my abilities when it comes to the safety of my daughter." It was like Abe's way of saying 'I love you'. "I don't approve of what you're doing – not by a long shot, but you're right. You're not a child anymore." He sighed, blowing a tuff of his hair up. "Just do me one favour?"

I raised my eyebrows together in confusion. "Anything." Dimitri's posture stiffened next to me and I resisted the urge to take his hand and say that everything would be okay.

"Whatever you do, _don't falter_. I don't care what's going through your mind – you see the threat, you take that threat down." His voice was hard and my stomach did a back-flip. He kissed the top of my forehead.

The nerves were starting to set in now – why was he telling me not to falter? I did my best not to hesitate when it came to situations like this; hesitation was dangerous and could easily get you killed in the blink of an eye. We turned away from my father and started making our way towards the warehouse, as stealth-like as we could. Before we could make it across the street, Dimitri took his hand into mine.

"Roza," his words held so much. He pulled back a strand of hair out of my face. "Don't worry."

At time, I had every reason to believe that his words were the truth – that we would go in alive and come out the same way, preferably without injuries. Little did I know that my life would change as soon as I walked through that door. If I could go back in time and change it, I would. I would have done everything I could to change what happened next.

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><p><strong>LOL I'd prefer it if you not kill me. I debated about putting the first paragraph of the next chapter in here, which reveals <em>a lot<em>, but then I decided I really loved my life and I did not want to be hang, drawn and quartered. Actually, keep that in mind for the next chapter. Okay? Okay. On the other hand, I would love to hear your theories - but don't expect me to to tell you if you're right or wrong, because my lips are sealed. Lolll.**

**And yes, I made Sydney Adrian's sister. I just had to crush people's hopes of Adrian and Sydney getting together in the end. LOL No, it wasn't that. I needed to bring Sydney in somehow - y'all will see why later. ;) AND. Lolwut, Christian and Dimitri on a man-date? What is this madness? Who wants to know about Christian's dark place? I might make a one-shot about it after I'm done with this story. Thoughts?**

**Is that it? I think it is. Review - or Abe has a funeral in the near future. (And you think I wouldn't do it. Psht.)**


	20. Lifeless Words, Carry On

**Okay. Wow. First off, I have NEVER EVER made it to twenty chapters for a story! The most I get is, uh ... three? Wow. I'm so proud of myself. :D But with that being said, here it is. The reveal you've all been dying to know ... although some of you guessed it ... I guess it was kind of obvious, but it always is. xD**

**Secondly, I just had my first day of school as a senior. LAST FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL EVER OMGSSGDHJGDSKJLGSD. May 19th, bitches. 179 school days left. Can't wait! /shamelessly counting. :D**

**And lastly, I do not feel that this chapter is amazing, nor do I feel that this chapter is complete crap. This chapter is seriously in the middle for me, but I'm super glad that it's here, because I have been waiting since day one to do write this. You're all going to kill me, I know that. I'd really love it if you don't, though, because I happen to value my live and would love it if I could actually live to finish my senior year. Also, I'm not really an action writer, so this was kind of hard - which is why I put it off... I'm more of a romance/fluff/angst writer. Action? Er, not so much...  
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**Oh, and if you're a Mortal Instruments fan, I'd suggest you go check out my new fic, _She Is The Sunlight_. That one is more than likely going to be updated a lot faster than this one, because that one doesn't require a lot, where this one does. Okay. I swear. I'm done rambling. Not that I rambled much... But remember: I love my life so PLEASE, PLEASE don't kill me. Thanks~!**

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><p><strong>chapter twenty; "lifeless words, carry on."<strong>

It happened when we were about twenty feet in the warehouse. The door had shut behind us, and we were suddenly engulfed in sheer darkness. Our guns were drawn, ready to fire – but even _that _didn't help what happened. Someone clicked the trigger some odd feet away from us and gunshots rang through the empty building, vibrating off the walls. I thought we were lucky until I heard a small gasp for air as Dimitri slumped down on the ground next to me.

"_No!_" I screamed, but it was pointless. My scream just echoed off the walls as the gunshot did. There was a chuckle in the background and I turned around, holding my gun steady in my hand, my index finger on the trigger. This son of a bitch had shot Dimitri. This son of a bitch was going _down_. "You sick, twisted, mother fucker. You fucking _shot _my partner! You're going to fucking pay for that!" I didn't even recognize my voice. It was cold and calloused.

More laughter. My knees buckled as I dropped next to my partner, who was moaning softly. I had no idea where he had been shot – if I was lucky, it was in the foot. But something in my gut told me that it wasn't in the foot – that this was a fatal gunshot wound. With one hand still grasping my gun, I groped around until I found him – and realized I was grabbing him square in the chest. "Mother fucker, son of a bitch, sweet baby Jesus, this fucking _hurts_," He moaned and started rambling in Russian. My free hand was starting to get wet and I stopped breathing.

My hand was on his heart.

"Roza." I was frozen. Dimitri had been shot in the _heart_. If he made it through this, then it was a fucking miracle. But there wasn't a chance he was going to make it through this – that change was small, oh so small. "_Roza!_" I couldn't see him, so I looked at where I assumed he was. "_Go_." I was pretty sure he slipped into unconsciousness by that point. With shaky legs, I stood up. Dimitri was right. I had to take down this son of a bitch.

I took a few steps forward, reaching out gingerly to figure out if I was going to hit something. The bastard in the room chuckled as the bright light flicked on. I shielded my eyes from it, staggering backwards. "Oh, Rosemarie, you shouldn't fret over your partner. He'll be just fine, I hope you realize that."

"Yes, because being shot in the heart something everyone can recover from," I replied sarcastically, my hand still over my eyes. There was a pull at my hair, and I bit my lip. Apparently this sick son of a bitch liked to play games. "Look, I'm all for you pulling my hair and whatnot, but don't you think we should get to know each other first?" Something hit my head and I screamed in pain. He had just hit me with a _gun_. Christ, it hurt so much.

"Shut up, will you?" He hit me with the gun again and I didn't scream this time. My eyes jerked open, but he was behind me, and I couldn't see anything … but he _smelled _familiar. I had come across that smell a few times – it was some fancy cologne from Paris. I coughed once as I pressed a hand to the side of my head that had been struck by the gun. There was another blow to my hand and I felt my gun drop to the side. "There. Now you don't have a weapon. What a damn shame."

My whole body went rigid in terror. I _knew_ that voice. What had my father said? _Don't hesitate. _I took a deep breath. Was this really happening? Was this possible? And most of all, _fucking seriously_? He chuckled as he tugged on my hair again, ripping a decent chunk out of it. "Mother fucker," I gasped with a shaky breath. "How … you … _Victor_."

Victor responded with a hearty laugh, forcing me to take steps with him as we wandered down the hall. "Figured it out now, have you, little girl? Took you long enough. I knew you'd put two and two together eventually. You're a smart girl, Rosemarie – but I couldn't let you find out about me, now could I? Of course not! What an absurd idea! Within a few more days, you would have narrowed down your search result to me, and I would have been arrested. I couldn't have that, not at all." He pulled at my hair as he talked, which was his indication of leading me.

We wound up in a small bathroom, even though most of the warehouse was still dark. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings anymore, even though I should be. I couldn't focus – someone I had known my entire life was the culprit to my case. I had _grown up _with this man in my life. He had been like the uncle I never had. Suddenly, I was thankful that I didn't have my gun. Could I really shoot Victor? Probably not.

A thought struck me at that point. "Does Natalie …?" Natalie had been the attending nurse. She would have known about Avery. Victor apparently scoffed at the idea and shook it off as he kept a firm grasp on my hair, stopping in front of the mirror.

"I wouldn't let my precious daughter get involved in this. Not yet, anyways. She has no part of this." That was somewhat reassuring. I looked away from the mirror – I didn't want to face the reality. "Stop being such a child. _Look_," he commanded, taking his gun and putting it under my chin, using it as a force for me to look up. I did, and everything I had ever known ceased to exist at that moment.

It was the two of us. Victor, with green eyes that were so much like Lissa's and dark hair, with high cheekbones and a pale complexion. Me, with my brown eyes and brown/black hair, and my face was starting to turn black and blue from where the gun had struck my face twice. Victor's face held malice, a horrible sense of evilness … while mine looking scared as a small child and dead to the world. The contrast was so different it was downright sickening.

_Where the hell was the backup? Did Abe call them? Oh God, I hope he did, _I thought, but cursed internally for thinking that. There was a good chance that Abe didn't even hear damn gunshot and we were on our own. Why didn't we go in with backup? Were we really that stupid? I sucked in a deep breath and, unsurprisingly, Victor laughed at this.

"I bet you're wondering why. I can see it on your face." The head of the gun traced along my bottom lip before caressing my cheek. Everything I knew about being an officer was out the window – that didn't apply to you when you were technically in a hostage situation. My basic instincts were starting to take over by this point. But if there was one thing, Victor was right. I was interested – the problem was that I couldn't find my voice. I was just a scared little kid by this point and Victor knew that. It was like he was some sick demon who could practically smell my fear.

I had failed what my father told me. I had hesitated and it was going to cost me my life, along with Dimitri's.

"The answer's simple, really – power. It's always been about power. It's that domination feeling you get after you've made a clever deal, or hearing someone's beautiful screams. I get such a _rush _when I do those things." He moaned softly, as if he was having an orgasm. Fuck, he probably was – this was sick enough that he probably was right now. "It started a little over three years ago. I had killed someone on the job – I never really meant to … it had turned into an accident, to be perfectly honest. While most people bitch and moan about killing someone, I had never felt more _alive._"

I didn't want to hear this, but I had no choice. I had to watch his face turn from sheer malice to a happy, trans-like state. If I made it out of this alive, I was going to need serious rounds of therapy.

"I became obsessed. Ah, yes, that's a good word for it – but that's putting it lightly. I started plotting in my mind for things to make that obsession grow into a reality … and then I met someone by the name of Angelo Costa." The gun moved along my cheek and back down to my lips and I noticed he wasn't wearing gloves. I almost smirked; what a stupid move. I tried to make a comment about it, but my body had gone numb. I knew that name. Angelo was Sydney's fiancée. I blanched.

"Ah, so you _do_ recognize that name! I knew you would. He's your husband's sister's fiancée, is he not? Oh, but wait, silly me – I forgot that you're cheating on your husband, so I guess he's not really your husband, now is he?" Somehow, I wasn't surprised that he knew about Dimitri and I. "Anyways, back to my story. I met Angelo when I was in Italy, albeit in a very shady part of Rome, actually. We started talking, and one thing led to another. He showed me into his little business – that would be the trafficking, and I was hooked."

The gun rested on my mouth, parting my lips. The metal was cold and I wanted to gag. One shot, and I was done for. One shot, and he would kill me without a second glance. "And things happen. Angelo and I are, essentially, the same person. We work together as a flawless team, and it was ideal to have someone on the inside. We're like the movie perfect criminals, Rosemarie." He was done explaining and I felt myself regain control of my body as the gun slipped out of my mouth.

It was like his words had snapped me out of a trance. I was becoming aware of my surroundings again, and it dawned on me that it probably had to do with the fact that I could no longer feel the pain from my forehead. It was either so bad that it was numb or it was starting to heal, and I was praying for the latter.

The bathroom was small. There was a broken toilet towards my left, and a dainty mirror right in front of me. The sink had been torn out of its place, leaving a gaping hole in the wall. The whole room was littered with trash and smelled like urine. There was one exit point, and that was the door frame – which currently held no door. _Thank God_.

"What about Robert? What does that have to do with anything? And Adrian's client list?" I finally asked. Victor smiled, showing all of his teeth. They were pearly white, and I couldn't have been more disgusted. If they had been yellow, that would have been comforting – but the fact that they were proof of fine money and hours upon hours of dental work made me sick.

"Robert Duro is my half brother. I had informed him of my plans, but … he's not exactly the most stable person in the world." Amen to that. But these two brothers shared that crazy gene, apparently. "I had been visiting him jail since he was put there. That is why I altered the documents; I needed to have no ties to Robert, otherwise my identify would have been compromised right away. Clayton is an idiot. He only focused on the scar. Robert and I share similar facial features, when you truly think about it. With a little bit of make-up, I managed to replicate his scar … and viola, you have Robert Duro. Such a shame he passed away in prison." He sounded remorseful, which was odd. I never would have taken him and his half brother I never knew about to be close.

"But I don't know about Adrian's client list – I know your husband represented my brother, but I was never listed as a family member or anything of the sort, so I wouldn't have to deal with it. That I don't know what's going on. Looks like you've got another mystery on your hands." I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the Scooby-Doo reference. "What a shame you're not going to figure out what's going on with that."

Something moved along the wall on the outside. It was the second I needed; the second I needed for Victor to falter. I may have known the man my entire life, but after hearing his story, he had become a monster. This was not the man I knew – this was a different man completely. He loosened his grip on my hair and the gun as his eyes shifted towards the wall, and I took the chance. I kneed him as hard as I could in the stomach and he responded by grunting and faltering back.

He placed his hands around his stomach defensively, and I turned around once he let go of my hair. I curled my fist into a ball in the way I had been taught and struck my fist against his face. He smashed against the wall, cursing profusely and put a hand to his face – but the moment was short lived. He was starting to regain control, and I couldn't have that. I struck his face again, this time causing his head to bang against the cold title.

Blood splattered when his head made contact, and I took my chance – I ran. I ran as fast as my body would allow me, which wasn't that much. My lungs begged for oxygen, mostly due to my current head injury. Apparently, the pain was so bad that it was numbing – that wasn't a good sign. My feet hit the ground in a pattern as I looked for the room I had lost my gun. How long had it been? It couldn't have been more than a few minutes – maybe half an hour, at the most.

_Fuck, that's too long_, I thought to myself as my dark eyes scanned around. I took a deep breath, but that didn't stop the heavy panting – it was progressively getting worse and worse, and I knew I had little time before Victor enclosed in on me again, and he wouldn't let me live. This was a situation of life and death, not much unlike one I had experienced before … and yet, the situation was completely different. Even though my lungs burned and my head was screaming at me to stop, I kept moving. I was walking at a fast pace now, and I came across the familiar room – the room where I had dropped my gun.

My gun was lying helplessly on the floor. I looked behind me, noticing that Victor had not reappeared from the bathroom yet – or so I thought. That changed as soon as I turned my head back to my gun and I heard a noise. "God damn shit fuck," I cursed under my breath. Victor was moving faster than I was – how the hell did he manage _that_? It dawned on me that there was a good chance he was probably on some type of drug.

"Rosemarie, you're not going to make it out of this alive, you know that, right?" As if I ever had a chance to make it out alive. "Stop running from me! You're only going to get yourself killed faster. You already let Dimitri down … He'd want you to have a painless death, unlike his." Dimitri wasn't dead … or so I liked to believe. His words were taunting, trying to bait me … but I held my head up high. When I had hesitated, it had lead me into the situation moments previously. I wasn't going to let that happen again. I took a leap of faith. As Victor started to get closer – he was less than twenty feet away from me – I dove towards my gun.

But I wasn't fast enough.

As soon as my body hit the ground, I had missed my intended goal by a few inches. Victor's hands had grabbed my feet, pulling me away from my gun. I stretched my arm out as far as I could, groping for my gun – but had no avail. Victor was strong, and he was winning this battle. I shook my legs violently, in an attempt to shake him off. But all he did was just laugh.

"Your stupidity amazes me, Rosemarie. You really think that you're going to get away from me, don't you?" His words were cold, but they held a light humour in them. I scowled as I continued to trash my legs around. It took me a few good minutes before my foot finally made contact with his face. It was one of my better hits, as well. I felt his grip around my legs release, and I scrambled towards my gun. I was only a foot away from it, thank God. With an outstretched hand, I grasped the handle, my hand falling in a familiar pattern around it.

Victor only laughed as I stood up, holding my gun. I felt something tickle on the side of my face and realized that there was probably blood from my forehead – that was not a good sign. My hands were shaky, but I managed to hold my gun up. Victor just kept a toothy grin on his face as I made eye contact with him. It was almost like looking into the eyes of the devil, and I almost flinched back.

"I told you this, Rosemarie. You're not going t-" But he had gotten too cocky. I pulled the trigger with my index finger, aimed right at the hand in which he held his gun. He cursed loudly as the bullet pierced his skin and I faltered from the kickback of the gun. I was weak – I had not reacted to a kickback for about three years.

"What? That I'm not going to win? Looks like I just kicked your ass," I hissed, hearing the own venom in my voice. I held the gun up again, this time, aiming for his heart - but my hands were shakier than ever, and Victor noticed this. His eyes light up. "You're sick. _I trusted you!_ Lissa trusted you! Her whole damn family trusted you! Natalie trusted you! We all fucking trusted you, and you turned our back to us!" He didn't even flinch at the mention of his own daughter. "How could you? You defiled your own _country_, the country you swore you'd defend at all costs!"

"America," he paused, his hand placed on his bleeding wound. It was only a flesh wound; it would hurt like a son of a bitch, but do no serious damage. I had made sure of that – it was enough to get him down. "Is a misleading country – we are nothing more than hypocrites. We feed the world lies, saying that we will help whoever is in need – but we do not. We only do as we please, for whatever our national interest is! _America the Beautiful, America the Brave_. What a fucking lie."

I raised my gun higher. Somehow, his rant was not surprising. "And I trusted you all, as well. But that's the key word in this – _trusted_." I cocked my gun back, my finger resting on the trigger. _Don't hesitate. Don't hesitate. Don't hesitate. _"Oh, Rosemarie, you don't understand. I could explain it to you over and over again, but you'd never understand – you're naïve and young. You think you know everything, but you don't. If you coul-"

There was a loud bang as my finger pressed down on the trigger. My aim was perfect – it hit him just below his heart, but it was a fatal wound. I took a deep breath as I watched his green eyes – oh so similar to that of my best friends – widened in surprised and his mouth fell into a little 'o' of horror. Like me moments ago, he thought I wouldn't do it. He thought I wouldn't pull the trigger.

I still couldn't believe I had pulled the damn trigger. _It was bound to happen eventually …_The voice sounded strangely like Alberta's.

Victor slumped down to the ground, his eyes still wide open. He landed face first and I heard bones crack as he sprawled out on the ground, his surprised look etched permanently on his face. The blood pooled from his chest and onto the floor, forever staining the title. I was on autopilot now – I dropped my gun, ignoring the fact that Angelo could appear at any minutes, and rushed towards Dimitri's side. The tears were spilling down my face when I saw him.

He was paler than before and the only thing that reassured me was the rise and fall of his chest. He was using his accessory muscles, however – which meant that he was having trouble breathing. "Oh God, Dimitri," I sobbed as I placed my hands over his chest. He didn't move – he was unconscious and not responding to pain. I didn't even have my radio with me – had my father heard the gunshots? Was backup on the way? These where questions I didn't even have answers too.

The blood seeped through my hands as I tried to apply pressure on his wound with no avail. God, he had already lost so much blood. My mind was whizzing – I could barely breathe, and this time, I knew it wasn't from my damn head injury or the fact that I had killed a man – someone I knew. This was from the fact that Dimitri was more than likely going to _die_.

"I'm so sorry. For everything. We shouldn't have come in here without backup. We should have had someone stationed outside, someone who could hear if something went wrong… I'm so sorry I failed you, Dimitri. And not just in our line of work … for everything." The words were coming out of my mouth before I could stop them. They said someone in a coma could possibly hear you, and I couldn't let him die without him knowing.

"I love you. God dammit, Dimitri, I love you! Don't die on me now. You can't die on me now." My hands were wavering on his chest as I applied more pressure, but it wasn't doing any good. He needed to get to a hospital now. "I'm sorry I fucked this all up. I told Lissa and Christian, you know? I couldn't help myself. I told them everything … and the funny thing is, Christian told me to go with you. Something about his dark place, I don't know." The thought made me laugh – but it was forced. "He told me I'd be happier. And he's right. I know that now. God only knows it would take something dramatic for me to realize that… I love you so fucking much, you can't die on me! Please..."

It was such a cliché and I knew it. It would have taken something so dramatic for me to realize that I needed Dimitri more than anything. Life. Wasn't. Fair. This was karma. This was karma for causing him so much pain … but even then, that seemed a little extreme. I took deep, shaky breaths as I tried to recollect myself. It wasn't working – I couldn't control myself now. The tears were free flowing and even though I kept my hands pressed to his wound, I lowered my head onto his chest. The pressure I had tried so hard to apply was lifting.

I don't know how long we stayed in that position – me, listening to his shallow and labored breathing with my head on his bloody chest and him, unconscious and barely holding on to the little bit of life he had left in him. It was probably no more than five minutes until the doors burst open, revealing a stream of daylight. I flinched, but I was unable to move from my current position. I was weak beyond all belief; that had taken a lot out of me. People I knew moved into the warehouse, shouting commands at each other – and I still couldn't move.

It wasn't until a familiar figure loomed over me and offered his hand that I took it. "Rose, it's going to be okay. Come on, we're going to get you cleaned up." Eddie's words were soothing, but I couldn't fully grasp what he said yet. I was still numb and it took me a full minute to process it. Finally, I took his hand, reluctant to leave Dimitri there. I stood up, my legs wobbly, and I crashed into Eddie, my hands wrapping around his body, my legs shaking from terror. And I started crying yet again as I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me away from Dimitri. Eddie ran his fingers through my hair. "I know, sweetheart. I know. There are some EMTs outside; they'll go get you cleaned up. He's going to be okay, Rose. You know that, right?"

I pulled away from him. "You don't know that! You're lying, Eddie. You don't know if he's going to live or die – hell, he's probably going to fucking die and … and … and … and…" I fell to the ground, only know noticing that I was across the street. How the hell did we cross the street and I didn't even realize it? Eddie was by me in an instant, his hands wrapped around me again as a familiar figure approached me. They were wearing the blue and green EMT coat, but I couldn't put a name to the face.

"You're right. I don't know that. But I'm not sitting here telling myself he's going to die, now am I? No, Rose. I have _faith_." He paused as the EMT dabbed something against my forehead and I moaned in pain. "I know you're obviously shaken up about what happened in there… and I know that you knew Victor and that he was someone you trusted … But just because one thing bad happened today doesn't mean you have to let something else bad happen, as well! This isn't the Rose I know. The Rose I know is strong willed and would have done _everything_ to make sure that he would be okay. The Rosemarie Hathaway I know would not have _given up_on her partner when it looked like he wasn't going to make it. She wouldn't have given up until his heart stopped beating, no matter the cost."

His words stung. He was right, although … but he didn't _get it_. While I had been in that warehouse, it had been a blur – and only now was the emotional rollercoaster of taking someone's life – someone that I knew – starting to hit me. My body rocked back and forth as I struggled with this. Eddie looked at me, but I could barely see him through my unfocused eyes. We stayed in silence for a few moments as Eddie held me like the big brother I never had and the EMT attended to my injuries, though there wasn't much he could do. After those few moments, Eddie sprang to his feet.

"Come on. They're putting him in the ambulance. I don't want to hear it, Rose. You're going to ride with him to the hospital, got it?" Gingerly, I stood up, and as I did, I felt the wind get knocked out of me. My feet fumbled and Eddie caught me, holding his hand around my waist as lead me into the ambulance. It was like a car accident – you wanted to look away, but you couldn't. All I could see was a swarm of EMTs around Dimitri, who was on the stretcher. His shirt had been cut open and they were attending to his wound – which I now realized was not at his heart, but merely above it.

The question was how far above his heart was it?

They raised Dimitri into the ambulance first. Once he was situated, another coated EMT took Eddie from me and held me up, gently guiding me into a seat that wouldn't be in their way. I was glad to be out of there way – I was in my own little world, a world where I didn't feel anything. With one last glance at Eddie – who offered me a soft, concerned smile – the doors to the ambulance slammed shut and the sirens wailed as we made our way to the hospital.

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><p><strong>Both Victor and Robert are a little fucked up on the inside. LOL more like a lot fucked up. They're quite demented people. Someone forgot to take their crazy pills~ And I feel that it wouldn't fully hit Rose that she killed Victor until after the fact, cause that's kind of how it happened in LS. AND LOOK she finally told Dimitri she loved him. What a shame he might die. Is he going to die? I don't know. To be honest, I've never seen a fic where Dimitri is the one who got hurt ... which is why I did it. hahjglhjskgsd. You'll just have to find out next chapters, my lovelies.<strong>

**Review! Or you don't get an update for a very very long time. o:**


	21. With Arms Wide Open

**Consider yourselves lucky. I wasn't going to write this chapter until the weekend, when I actually had time. But, right now, I'm really sick. Like, I have this terrible cough and half of the time I can barely breathe ... so I stayed home sick today, because I knew I shouldn't push myself, especially since I'm traveling on Thursday.**

**You can thank the songs _With Arms Wide Open _by Creed, _Hunger Games! I Wanna Go _by WinterSpringPro and _Look After You_ by The Fray for me to get my ass moving and write this. I didn't look over it because my head's killing me right now, so forgive my mistakes. My next chapter story is going to have a beta, I swear to it. :D**

**Alright. I'm not rambling too much. _Special Victims Unit_ is on. (:**

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><p><strong>chapter twenty-one; "with arms wide open."<strong>

I was numb the whole time to the hospital. Thankfully, my injuries were minor – well, minor as they could be. I would be having some wicked bruises for, probably, the next couple of weeks, but that something I could live with. My whole body was sore from the ordeal, which part of it was the emotional stress. Victor's death had finally hit me – I felt incredibly guilty. My mind was racing: I had so many things to do right now. First, I had to make sure that Sydney was okay. Second, I had to talk to Dimitri's mother and inform him as to what was going on, and lastly, I needed to talk to Natalie.

Of course, none of those things happened in that specific order. As a matter of fact, Natalie was the first person I saw. Dimitri was rushed straight into surgery and I was left for a nurse to make sure that I wasn't suffering from a concussion (which I knew I wasn't). That nurse just so happened to be Natalie. There was confusion on her face as she looked at me. I blinked back the tears as I readjusted myself on the hospital bed. This was going to be too much. Natalie _adored_ her father. Hell, we all had… I choked back a sob.

"What happened, Rose?" She asked as she put gloves on her hand and began assessing my injuries. I knew my body quite well, but nothing in me could muster up the nerve to tell them I didn't need it. My eyes shifted under her gaze, a guilty look on my face. How could I tell Natalie this? I had murdered her father in order to keep myself – and Dimitri – alive. That wasn't something people forgave people for … but it was self-defense, was it not? Now I was questioning myself and all I wanted to do was throw up.

"I'm so sorry, Natalie. I had no choice," I finally blabbed, the tears coming down my face in a steady stream. Eddie appeared behind Natalie, and I was thankful. Next to Eddie was another nurse – nobody I knew – and I knew that they were going to take her away, to tell her what happened. "He was going to kill me. He shot Dimitri. I … I couldn't help it! I _had _too! I need you to understand that!" I sobbed as Eddie motioned for her to go follow him. There was a confused look in her eyes as she left.

This new nurse didn't say anything, but she just let me wallow in my own misery. Fifteen minutes passed and I was finally all bandaged up. I had to admit, I did look a little bit ridiculous with a thing of gauze wrapped around my forehead, but I didn't care at this point. What mattered to me was that Dimitri was okay. That Natalie was okay. Oh God, Natalie… I stumbled off the bed, ignoring the nurse's protests. I had to find Natalie. The other stuff didn't matter at this point.

It didn't take long to find her. I was walking around the emergency room like a mad man, looking for anything familiar. I was pretty sure I was limping, but that didn't matter to me right now. Eventually, I came across what looked like a little staff office – and Eddie's badge was a dead giveaway as to where they were. I thrusted the door open, not caring that I wasn't supposed to be in there.

They weren't speaking. Natalie's eyes were rimmed with red. But when she saw me, she looked _pissed_. I didn't falter under her glare, however. I deserved this. I had shot her father – someone who she had loved. Natalie stood up right away, the fury in her eyes growing as she took in my presence. I opened my mouth to speak, but what happened next surprised me. Her hand coiled back and her fist made contact with my face.

I winced from the pain, and Eddie instantly grabbed both of her hands, holding them behind her back. "You bitch! How could you? My own father! That was my _father_, Rose! You killed an innocent man!" I kept my ground. While I didn't agree with the fact that Victor was exactly _innocent_, she was still right – I had taken a life. I lowered my gaze as I heard Eddie cuff her. She had just assaulted an officer, which was against the law. That caused me to look up.

"Don't arrest her, Eddie. She's right. I deserved it." Eddie rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"No, you don't. Nobody ever deserves it, whether they're right or they're wrong." He shoved against Natalie, who was muttering a string of profanities underneath her breath and was trying to break free. That almost caused me to smile, because there was no way in hell that Natalie was going to break free from Eddie's grasp. "Come on, Natalie, let's go. I don't really want to hear it." He sighed as he shoved Natalie forward, leading her out the door. I vaguely heard him recite the Miranda rights as they disappeared from my sight.

Well, that was one person down. Which meant that I had to deal with two more people – Dimitri's mother and Sydney. I couldn't bring myself to deal with Olena – I would leave that for Alberta. How was I supposed to explain to her how many times I had failed her son, not only in work, but in love? I couldn't do it. I bit down on my lip as I moved out of the staff office, wandering right into the middle of the emergency room. Apparently, I hadn't really gone that far.

I didn't need to wander around like an idiot for long, because I found Alberta shortly after. Or rather, Alberta found me. There was a concerned look in her eyes, but she said nothing. Instead, I hugged her. It was probably inappropriate for work, but I trusted Alberta. She was the Chief of Police for a reason, after all. With a sigh, she patted my back and led me towards another private room. Wow, there appeared to be a lot of private rooms in this hospital. Normally, we all talked to them out in the open with hushed voices. I guess they really wanted this under the wraps right now.

"Believe me, I know exactly what you're going through." She paused. I said nothing as I put my hand to my head, which had just begun throbbing. I suspected it had to do with all the damn bright lights in the hospital. "I'm going to call Olena – I don't want you to deal with that." She took a deep breath and I knew a long spiel was coming. "We got Angelo. He didn't have the slightest idea that we were coming. He's heading to booking right now. Sydney … Sydney wasn't they were we made the initial arrest, but she came home when we were leading him out."

Oh God. Sydney. The baby … she was planning on getting _married_ to that sick fuck. And she was (possibly) pregnant with the man's kid for fucks sake! How … how did she _not_ now? I blanched as Alberta talked about my sister-in-law. Sydney was strong, oh so very strong, she could handle this. But there was only so much someone could take before they reached a breaking point, and Sydney would be taking in a _lot_ of information.

"She took it as well as she could, for someone under those circumstances. By all means, she's a wreck… Adrian's with her right now. He came home with her, actually." Alberta looked at her watch. "They should be here any moment. That was probably about ten minutes ago."

"Did you tell Adrian what happened?"

Alberta nodded. "Yes. We were going to call him once we got Angelo, but by sheer luck, he was already there." Sheer luck? If I hadn't been so worn out, I would have said something about that. But right now, I couldn't force myself to do it. My body was beyond tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. Actually, sleep sounded like a great idea right about now … but I knew I couldn't. Didn't the nurse say something about not sleeping? Screw it, I didn't care.

"Any word on Dimitri?" They wouldn't tell me what happened – well, they might, if I persisted enough, but I had no energy to do so.

"He's in surgery, obviously. They don't know what his chances are right now, since he lost a lot of blood. He was lucky, though. The shot hit about an inch right above his heart, which prevented it from being instantly fatal. On the plus side, he's responding quiet well to the surgery and it appears that the bullet went all the way through, which may up his chance for survival. They think he'll be out of surgery within the hour, as they're only repairing the damage around his heart." I blanched. The whole world was stopping at this point.

I had already lost one partner due to a murder. I was not going to lose another partner due to another god damn murder. Was I really that cursed? I took a seat down on the chair and put my face in my palms. This was simply way too much for me to take. I needed numbers right now. I didn't need damn assumptions; I needed a percentage as to his chance of survival. Dimitri could make it out of the surgery just fine, but have major complications in the ICU. Hell, he may never wake up – if he went into a coma, that was.

Alberta placed a hand on my shoulder. It was a sign of comfort, a sign that I so desperately needed. "I know it's hard, Rose." She took a deep breath. "I'm requesting that you see a therapist tomorrow. Everyone who was on that case is going to see one, and there's no if, ands, or buts about it. I'm also putting you on desk duty for the time being."

Desk duty. It was funny, considering how a few months ago, I would have abhorred the idea. Right now? I welcomed the idea of being on desk duty. I wouldn't have to be out there in the field and my hours weren't as hectic. It was normal, which was what I needed in order for me to recover. But the therapist idea was ridiculous. I didn't need a fucking therapist, but apparently, Alberta thought differently. I said nothing as her phone went off. I didn't even pay attention to the conversation – I was off in my own little world where nothing was wrong.

"Rose, Adrian and Sydney are out in the waiting room. Come on, I'll take you." I accepted her offer, terrified to see my husband and sister-in-law. I knew how they both would be – worried out of their damn minds. Well, more so Adrian than Sydney. Sydney would be mourning in her own way, after hearing such terrible news about her fiancé. I stood up from my seat and gingerly followed Alberta out of the staff office and into the emergency waiting room.

It wasn't empty, but it wasn't exactly packed, either. I wasn't looking for Adrian or Sydney, so I kept my head low as I followed Alberta's footsteps. We walked about thirty feet before I finally looked up, which put me face to face with my husband and sister-in-law. Sydney looked grim and upset; her eyes were rimmed in red and her cheeks were swollen from crying. Adrian looked disheveled, his usually carefully styled messy hair all over the place.

I didn't think. Just like with Alberta previously, I needed comfort. He opened his arms to me and I accepted them, almost knocking him down. Adrian held me tight as I sobbed into his chest, letting everything lose. The guilt didn't even cross my mind this time – all that mattered was that someone was there for me. His grip tightened as I sobbed harder into his chest, and I felt Sydney wrap her arms around me, pulling us into a group hug.

I imagined the scene looked pretty intense, but we were in the hospital, and something like this was common. On more than one occasion, I had seen an exchange like this between people who were waiting for their loved ones. We stayed like that for a few moments before Sydney finally broke free, and Adrian collapsed onto a nearby chair. I scrambled onto his lap, unwilling to let him go. His hands traced along my forehead, right where the gauze was. I flinched from the pain as I turned to Sydney.

"How are you doing?" I finally asked, my voice nothing more than a whisper. Sydney looked up at me with her amber eyes and managed to give me a smile, along with a simple shrug. I wasn't a cop for nothing – I knew that the smile was forced, that all she wanted to do was go home and cry. But … she couldn't go home, because home was a lie to her, as well.

"I've had better days." She rested her hands on her stomach, to which I now noticed had a visible, but barely, bump. Apparently she was farther along than she reckoned. "I … I'm going to keep it, though. I know I probably shouldn't, but I can't do it. Abortion is out of the question … and regardless of what a _monster_ he was … I'll do my damn best to make sure that this little guy isn't." Adrian reached his hand out towards his sister and she took it. This didn't surprise me – I knew abortion was out of the question right away. Sydney may have broken some religious beliefs, but abortion was not one of them.

"We'll be here for you every step of the way, Syd. You're gonna do great," Adrian soothed and I internally cringed at 'we'. After this, there was no more 'we'. Once Dimitri was out of this damn hospital, I was going to get a divorce lawyer. I knew how most divorces went – they were bitter and never ended well … but I prayed that my divorce wouldn't be like that.

Yeah. Right. Who the hell was I kidding?

My divorce was going to be _exactly _like that, and I knew it. It would have been easier if I had just fallen out of love with Adrian, but that wasn't the case. I had cheated on him, and then fallen out of love with him. The situation was different. Maybe I didn't have to tell him … Maybe I could just explain my reasoning. Surely he would understand, would he not? My breathing escalated as I thought about this, and Adrian noticed. His emerald eyes flickered towards mine, concern written all over his pupils.

"Thank you." She paused, not wanting to go on with the current situation. Her attention turned to me. "How are _you_holding up? I … I mean, we all knew Victor. I never would have imagined … How's Natalie taking it?" I didn't need to look at my husband to know that these were questions he wanted to ask as well. Eventually, I sighed, a tuff of hair blowing with the gust as I did.

"She punched me." I pointed to the corner of my lip, which I was pretty sure was starting to bruise. Natalie had one _hell_ of a right hook. Sydney gasped and Adrian's grasp around me tightened. "Eddie arrested her, though. I tried to convince him not to, but he wouldn't have it…" I pulled at the edge of my hair. "Like you said, I've been better. It's … It's hard. But … but I don't regret what I did. It needed to be done. If I hadn't killed him, Dimitri and I would be six feet under the ground." That was theoretical, of course – but the chances of both of us dying were ninety nine percent.

Adrian twirled a strand of my hair. "I'm glad you shot the son of a bitch. I never really trusted him, to be honest." Now that I look back on it, nether had I… There had always been something _off_, but I thought it had something to do with his job. "As for Natalie… She's grieving. I probably would have done the same thing. Well, maybe not if it had been my father, cause he's a bit of a douche, but you know what I mean." There was light humour in Adrian's voice as he thought about his father, which managed to get a chuckle out of Sydney and I.

We managed to keep up light conversation after that, but it died down after a few moments. We didn't want to talk. I was worried and hurting, as were the other two. We stayed in silence for a long time, only talking if one of us were going somewhere or going to get coffee. I wasn't aware of how long we stayed in silence, but it was nice. The general hustle and bustle of the hospital was enough to keep me entertained. I could people watch for hours – it kept my mind somewhat distracted.

Finally, after a good chunk of time, a nurse appeared in front of us. There was a soft smile on her face, which I took as good news. But instead of jumping up like I would have done, I stayed locked in Adrian's lap. My legs had turned to jelly as I waited for the brunette nurse to tell me the news.

"Detective Belikov is out of surgery and is in the ICU. The surgery went well and we managed to remove the bullet fragments. He was incredibly lucky for two reasons. One, that the bullet went in one way and actually came out in his back. Two, being that his heart was missed by about an inch. As of right now, Detective Belikov as about a fifty percent chance of living. The doctors don't expect him to wake up for awhile, however." She paused as she looked at the three of us before her eyes finally settled on my badge. "Room 183, Detective."

I nodded and murmured my thanks as I scooted off Adrian's lap. Our hands became entwined as he stood up as well … but only Sydney remained in her seat. She didn't really know Dimitri, so I couldn't blame her. What interest was this to her? As a matter of fact, Adrian didn't really know Dimitri either – sure, he _knew_ him, but he didn't _know_ him, if you get what I mean.

"I know that look," Adrian mused softly and I pushed my brows together. What look was he talking about? He chuckled as he ran his knuckles softly against my face. "I'm going to take Sydney home… She'll be living with us for awhile, but I don't think that will bother you." He was right; it wouldn't. I was going to request it, actually. "Go see him, babe. I know it's bothering you. Call me when you want to be picked up, alright?"

"Okay," I weakly responded, feeling no emotion whatsoever. This was a new feeling; I wasn't numb anymore – I was practically dead to the world. "Love you," I managed to say, knowing that it was the truth – but it wasn't _in love_, it was just love. Adrian smiled as he kissed my forehead.

"I love you too. Now go," He said, giving me a playful shove. I weakly smiled as I watched Adrian help his sister get up. Sydney and Adrian waved goodbye, which was my indicator for me to turn around. I was familiar with this hospital, as I had spent many days here, especially in the ICU. It was painful as to how much about the hospital I actually knew, but I guess that was just part of the job.

It didn't take me long to get to the ICU. The nurse at the front station just took one look at me, nodded, and then led me back to Dimitri's room. The door was shut and the curtains were drawn and as I put my hand on the doorknob, I froze. Could I really go in there and face what had happened? I knew that as soon as I walked in there, I would relive those moments from this morning – those painful, bitter moments as to how I had _failed_Dimitri.

With my inner war raging, I took a deep breath and finally decided. I turned my hand on the doorknob and heard it click open. My gaze was adverted as I stepped into the room, but as soon as I looked up, I couldn't look away. I wanted to. Oh God, that's all I wanted to do was look away – but like a car crash, you just _couldn't_.

Dimitri looked as if he was asleep and I gave a strangled sob as I moved forward. There were tubes and lines connected all over his body, followed by a constant beeping of a heart monitor. Unlike me, he didn't wear heavy bruises on his face, but I was sure his chest had taken quiet a hell of a beating. I could see the stitches poking out from underneath his gown. I gripped the railing of the bed as I saw those. Those were the stitches from his surgery. My breathing increased to a tempo I wasn't familiar with as I managed to sit down.

All I could do was sit there and say nothing. What exactly could I say? I had spilled my heart out to Dimitri early this morning, but I had no idea if he had even _heard _me. I rocked back and forth in the chair in a soft, soothing motion and found myself controlling my breathing again. After a few moments of listening to the heart monitor beating, I took his hand into mine.

His hands were cold. I almost flinched; I was used to them being so soft and warm, but now, they were the exact opposite. I moved the chair closer to him as I let go of his hand, moving towards his hair instead. It was unruly and messy, but still held the same softness I remembered. It was out of its normal ponytail, falling barely against his shoulders and curling at the ends slightly. This was how I preferred his hair and it pained me to see it in such a horrible setting.

"Hey Dimitri," I finally managed, feeling like an idiot. But didn't people talk to people on life support? Wasn't this common? I knew it was, but it still didn't stop me feeling like an idiot. I opened my mouth to say more, but no words could come out of my mouth. I clamped my mouth shut again and just focused on playing with his beautiful brown hair. Eventually, I found my words – words that I had spoken to him hours ago.

"I'm so sorry. I should have known that he was going to shoot you. The fact that he killed Avery was proof that he was going to kill you first." I had put that together awhile ago. Killing Avery hadn't been random – the fact that she lived underneath Dimitri's apartment was no coincidence – and this was the only logical thing that made sense, given the turn of events. "I'm sorry for a whole bunch of things, Dimitri, especially … especially the affair. I should have given you a real chance – not that secretive bullshit we had to do. I should have … I should have done _a lot_ of things." My voice was down to a whisper by this point.

I had lost my words again. I could speak for a little bit and then there was nothing – which strangely enough, I was okay with that now. If Dimitri had been awake, he would have seen what I was going through in my body posture. Dimitri could read me like an open book, which normally pissed me off. Today, I was nothing more than thankful for it … even though he wasn't exactly awake, per say.

Some two or three hours later, I eventually drifted off into a blissful sleep. I was out cold – the world could have ended and I wouldn't have known, which was amazing, considering how I was usually such a light sleeper. The effects from today were taking its toll on me. My dreams did not include today's horrors or … well, anything. My sleep contained no dreams, for which I was ever thankful for. I didn't exactly want to wake up thrashing around in the ICU, which would be a potential cause for alarm.

When I woke up, I noticed that a full eighteen hours had passed. My back was incredibly stiff and I found myself wondering just how I could have slept in such an uncomfortable position. My hand was still tangled in Dimitri's hair and I noticed that his stitches had some badges around them now. Apparently, nurses and doctors had come and gone, checking on Dimitri's progress and I hadn't heard a damn thing. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I cursed.

Yup. Five missed calls from Adrian, two from Lissa, one from Christian and one from Sydney. Seven texts from Lissa, and two from the rest of my friends. I didn't bother reading the texts at this point – it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I needed to go home and rest in my own bed before I had go see that damn therapist. I didn't even know when Alberta wanted me to see her – I guess she'd have to call me, then. I dialed my home number. On the third ring, someone finally picked up.

"_Oh, sweetheart, I'm glad you called. Are you alright?"_ He sounded worried, but not overbearing worried. I took that as a good sign – he was probably focusing on making sure his baby sister was coping well. He knew that I could handle myself. I propped the phone against my shoulder and pressed it to my ear as I tried to clean up my appearance.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm sorry – I fell asleep and apparently, I slept damn good," I replied with a light laugh as I deemed myself presentable. I figured others probably looked worse than I did, even with the injuries, anyways. That was one of the advantages to being in a hospital. "This would be my pick-up call, if you wouldn't mind." I looked at the clock, which I now noticed it said three p.m. At least it was the afternoon, which meant that Alberta would probably want me to come in sooner rather than later.

_"No problem. I'll see you in ten."_ Adrian hung up the phone without saying another word, and I was glad. I shoved the phone back into my pocket and paid one last glance at Dimitri, who still looked like he was sleeping peacefully. I managed to give him a smile and a small wave of my hand as I left and shut the door behind me. By this point, I was guessing that he was in a coma – which could go either way. He could die of sudden complications, stay in the coma for years, or wake up and be okay. I was praying for the last option.

By the time I got out of the ICU and down into the main lobby, ten minutes had already come and gone. Today was just one of those days were everyone was running around the hospital. I stepped out of the main lobby and eyed Adrian's car waiting for me. Taking a deep breath in the fresh air, I made a way towards Adrian's car. Within moments, I was situated in the car, not sure where I wanted to go.

"Hey babe. Ready to head home?" I made a face and shrugged, not really wanting to go home. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to go to the police station. I wanted to go home, yes, but I wanted to go home to sleep, not to ponder the events that happened. People would be filing in and out, demanding statements from me as to what happened, along with a debriefing and talking to the therapist.

"Can you take me to the station, actually? Chief wants to talk to me, plus … there's going to be one hell of clean-up," I grimaced and Adrian nodded. As a lawyer, he was able to understand the 'clean-up' process – and the long hours it took after that. I was already dreading the statements; I would have to relive what happened yesterday over and over again, for days, even.

The drive to the police station was silent and only lasted few moments. We exchanged our goodbyes and I told Adrian that I would call him when I needed a ride home. I shut the car door and Adrian drove off behind me, leaving me at the front steps of the station. Normally, I welcomed my work – but right now, it seemed so dark and gloomy – a huge reminder of what I had just gone through.

I walked up the steps and pushed my way through the front doors. I had a long, painful, road ahead of me. I shoved my hands in my pockets as I took in my surroundings. _Well, might as well get it over with_.

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><p><strong>I bet you can all guess what's coming next chapter! ;D<strong>

**Now review, because I'm sick and your reviews will make me feel better. (Yes, pity. Don't judge me.)**


	22. Inevitable

**You know ... I've had this whole dialogue between Adrian and Rose in my head since before I even wrote the first chapter. This was the chapter that actually inspired the whole story. I have never been so thankful to reach it - nor have I ever gotten this far in a chapter story. Amazingly enough, I'm almost _done_ with this story. There's probably about two or three chapters left, with the epilogue. And yes, I will be writing another story after this. It will be called _Prayer For The Refugee _and be set in a post-war VA world. It'll be pretty amazing and told strictly through Dimitri's POV. It's gonna be legen - wait for it - dary. (:**

**Okay. I also seem to be updating this story more than my others. Good God, I'm terrible. Oh well ... at least I'll feel better knowing that this is done. (:**

**Songs for the chapter - _Your Love Is A Lie _by Simple Plan. This song _is _the chapter. Go listen to it! (: _Skyscraper _by Demi Lovato and _Eighteen Days_ by Saving Abel.**

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><p><strong>chapter twenty-two; "inevitable."<strong>

It had been eighteen days since Dimitri had been admitted. Eighteen days of nothing more than sheer misery for me… and the worst part was that he was actually in a coma. At the time of coming out of his surgery, it was unknown if he would be in a coma – they had expected him to sleep for a couple of days, simply because of the rough nature of the wound… but that had been eighteen days ago, and he was now officially in a coma. This truly had been the worst eighteen days of my life.

I was on desk duty – after all, there wasn't much I could do mentally. I still had night tremors as to what happened, although it was never loud. It was just enough for me to shoot right out of bed, panting and sweating from the nightmare. It was a generic nightmare, too – I never actually saw Victor's face, but it was clearly heavily implied that it was _his _face I was sleeping. It had gotten so bad that I had actually moved into the second guest room. The house Adrian and I lived in had four rooms; one was his study, one was our bedroom, and two were guest rooms. Sydney was staying in one and I had moved into the other.

Naturally, Adrian was worried about me. Hell, everyone was worried about me – but I put on a good face and let everything slide off my shoulder. I wasn't super responsive, however – I still talked when I wanted and answer questions, but I lacked my natural sarcastic nature. It was trauma from the event, plus my inner turmoil with Dimitri and Adrian – and I was aware of this. But I still wasn't going to let my therapist know why I was worried so much about Dimitri, even if I think she guessed it. Well, at least she wouldn't know I was a cheating whore.

Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair. In spite of everything I had ever said about desk duty, I actually held a high respect for the people who did it – and right now, I enjoyed it. Granted, I missed that rush I got when I slid into the cruiser and was on my way to apprehend a perp or investigate a new crime scene … but a break was always needed. Everyone needed a break, didn't they? That's what I kept on telling myself – and that's what my therapist was telling me. God, that therapist was really starting to piss me off.

Thankfully, I didn't have to see her today, which was a bonus. I saw her three times a week, on Monday, Wednesday, and finally, Friday. Today was Saturday, which meant I was free for a day and a half. It was also surprising that I was working on a Saturday, especially on desk duty, but I just couldn't be home right now. Sydney was already going through an incredibly rough patch and Adrian was worried sick about her – I didn't need him to be worried about me, especially with what I was about to do to him. Granted, it was probably bitchy for me to ignore him … but I couldn't help it.

It was a lot harder considering how he was my ride most places. For some reason, I couldn't put myself behind the wheel – not yet. I think it was because I didn't feel right behind the wheel without knowing Dimitri would be the one driving if we ever went anywhere… or something like that. I look up at the clock, noticing how it was only just a little bit after three p.m. I was almost done for the day, as I got off at five. After I got off, I would head over to the hospital for a few hours, praying to God that Dimitri just might wake up … For eighteen days, that hadn't happened.

At first, Adrian had been okay with it – and he still is, to a certain extent. He drives me to work, from work to the hospital and from the hospital to the house. There's something on his mind, though – something I know that I'll hear about eventually. I shrugged the thought off, because I knew it had to be something to do with his concern about my well-being. My hands fingered through the paper, looking through certain documents. I was just looking to make sure that everything was in order and not out of place, which wasn't my forte ... but whatever.

"You look bored," Eddie said as he plopped down on the corner of my desk, a lazy smile on his face. I looked up at him, my dark eyes glaring. Eddie looked pretty damn beat. I knew that he had been up half of the night dealing with a possible jumper on back-up. It had taken the guy three hours before he finally decided to give up, and that had happened at four in the morning.

"You look beat to shit, but I'm not saying anything about it," I replied with a smile. Eddie rolled his eyes as he looked down at my papers, which just so happened to be his reports. He made a motion with his hand as if he was reaching out and I swatted his hand away. "Don't touch the reports. They're not for your eyes, since you handed them in. But it's good to know that you can't spell properly. I mean, you really misspelled 'the'? Really, Edison?"

"I'm dyslexic, alright? Don't fucking judge me. You're just jealous of my mad skills." I snorted in laughter as I continued fingering the papers absentmindedly. He ran his fingers through his hair, not really sure what to say. "Hey, I'm heading over to the hospital in about an hour. You want a ride? I bet Adrian's probably damn sick of you going to the hospital constantly."

I froze. Eddie had meant his conversation in good nature, but he didn't realize just how hard that comment stung me, especially since I was trying not to think about it. Quickly enough, I regained my composure and put the papers down, giving up on them completely. "I'm not jealous, just merely stating the obvious. And that … that sounds great, actually." My voice wavered and Eddie's trained ears picked up on it. His face went from joking to serious in the matter of seconds.

"Another fight?" I shook my head. "Don't wanna talk about it?"

I made a face. "I guess that's the best way to put it. More like impending fight..." I left my words lingering there. _He's going to question my relationship with Dimitri_. I was paranoid, but I shoved that thought away. Eddie nodded in understanding and dropped the subject. Edison truly was like the brother I never had – and I was thankful for it. "Shouldn't you be doing your job? Or sexually harassing Mia?"

Eddie's face formed a lopsided smile, which made him look even younger than he was and ridiculously cute. "It's not sexually harassing if they're willing," He replied with a waggle of his eyebrows. I snickered, but was silently happy for Eddie. He had been pawning after Mia for months and the two seemed like such an ideal pair.

"Let's not talk about willingness in a police station, although I would love to see you thrown in the holding cells again. That might be amusing," I stated with a bright smile, to which Eddie rolled his eyes as he got off the corner of my desk.

"That was _one time_. One time! And _you're _the one who dared me to do it." He was referring to one of the many times Eddie and I had played truth or dare when it was just the two of us in the station and I had dared him to go into the holding cell and try to converse with the man who was in there, who was completely blitzed out of his mind. It wouldn't have been so bad ... if I hadn't locked Eddie in there. His hazel eyes looked back and forth as he sighed. "I'll come pick up your sexy ass in about an hour. Be ready by then; it's not like you're doing anything."

"You would be thinking about my sexy ass. It's a nice ass, isn't it?" He took a step forward. "Yeah, I'll be ready. Now go sexually harass Mia." I waved him off with my hands, to which he responded with light laughter.

"I told you! It's not sexual harassment if they're willing, Rose." He winked and wandered off and I shook my head. We normally would have exchanged comments about something like 'you can't rape the willing', but I figured that would be pretty inappropriate in a police station. Actually, to hell with that. I normally would _have _said something like that with a good humoured tone … but not right now.

For the next hour, I spent my time wandering aimlessly around the police station. I wandered in and out of the records room, helped Mark in the holding cells keep some son of a bitch in line, and finally went to my locker to grab my change of clothes. When I was on desk duty, I was required to wear my police uniform, as opposed to the business attire I wore on detective duty. By the time I had changed into a sweatshirt and jeans, it was almost time to go. I had just enough time to head back to my desk and grab my purse when Eddie came up to me, clad in his civilian clothes, keys dangling in his hand.

The ride the hospital was silent, as they always were. Eddie came in with me, and as soon as I stepped into the hospital, I quickly sent a text to Adrian, explaining that I had left early and that I would call him when I needed a ride. There was no response, but I wasn't exactly surprised about that. Eddie and I exchanged our goodbyes as he went one way and I went the other, straight to my familiar spot in the ICU.

The staff in the intensive care unit knew me by this point. I didn't have to wave a badge or sign in – not officially. The girl smiled, waved and buzzed me when I appeared. Sometimes we'd exchange conversation, but not today. For some unexplainable reason, I just wanted to go in there and be with Dimitri. Hell, I even had a book to read – which was weird, because I never really read. Since Dimitri had been in the hospital in his coma, I had actually read quite a few books. The most recent one I had picked up was about a girl, who was half human,and half vampire, and her best friend, who was a vampire. The girl was training to be her bodyguard and it was just _fascinating_.

I sat down in my usual spot in Dimitri's room. It had been the same for the past eighteen days – he would lay there, motionless and the only thing that was reassuring me that he was alive was the constant beeping of the heart monitor. I would sit there, speak to him sometimes, tell him about my day as I pleased, and then would wallow in my misery by reading a book, taking a nap, or messing around on my iPhone.

I think the argument could have been that I could have done this at home, but it wasn't the same. I had tried a couple of days after Dimitri had been in his coma, to go home and not worry about it … but that didn't work. It didn't work in the slightest, actually. I found myself restless at the house and I was unable to focus on _anything_. Being at the hospital had been nothing more than a soothing and highly calming effect on me.

Or maybe I just didn't want to focus on all of my troubles at home. That one was more than likely too.

I curled up in the corner near the heart monitor and oxygen tank with my book in my hands. A week and a half ago, I had brought in a pillow and a blanket, for the times I took my nap. It was extremely comfy, which was always a good thing. The chair could sometimes be a complete pain in the ass and I had woken up with aches and pains from it plenty of times. I curled up with my blanket, my pillow and my book in my hands and read away as I listened to the sound of the heart monitor.

But naturally, as soon as I had gotten all arranged, my phone buzzed. It was too far out of my reach and I had to get out of my chair and get it. Of course it would happen as soon as I sat down. I thought about ignoring it, but I figured that probably won't be the smartest idea. Begrudgingly, I got up and grabbed my phone, noticing that it was a text from Olena. Over the past couple of days, we had gotten increasingly close, as I was the one who was taking care of her son. She was working on getting money to come to America and visit him, but times were hard.

I loved Olena. I had only met her a couple of times through skype, but after Dimitri's incident, we had been keeping on close contact. The timezone difference was hard to keep up with, which was why I had let her contact me first, because I never wanted to wake her up – even though she insisted it wasn't an issue. Her text was a simple question, asking for an update. I responded with a brief answer and turned my phone on silent, not really wanting to be distracted.

I spent at least four to five hours in the hospital, reading the book and listening to that damn heart monitor. I was a bit of a slow reader, so I was only about three fourths through the book when I decided it was time to go. I was so engrossed in the book – I had just gotten to the part where the young dhampirs (half human half vampire girl) had been put under a lust spell in where she 'attacked' her older mentor, a man she had a serious crush on. I didn't even hear Adrian step into the hospital room until he spoke.

"Hey," He said and I looked up from my book, a surprised look on my face. I guess I really had lost track of time – but what concerned me the most was that his face was completely void of any emotion. I dog-eared the page in my book and looked up at Adrian with raised eyebrows – had something happened?  
>"Sydney and I were going to head to dinner. You wanna come?" His voice was light, like he was confused. I finally placed the emotion on his face and I fought the urge to gulp.<p>

"That sounds like a great idea, actually." My stomach growled to prove my point. I had last eaten lunch around eleven, when Eddie had picked me up a sandwich from a deli across the street. That was hours ago and my body needed food at a constant rate. Many people, mainly Christian, joked about why I didn't gain so much weight, as I apparently ate like a man. I stood up, stretched my arms, and gave Adrian a soft smile – to which he didn't respond too.

That was odd. Adrian normally always responded to my gestures like that. A feeling settled in the pit of my stomach and I fought the urge to frown. This wasn't good – had something happened? I decided it would be best to ask when we were out of the room. Somehow, the idea of asking something like that wasn't that appealing in Dimitri's hospital room. And there was the fact that it was my _husband_ I was talking to in Dimitri's room.

The husband I was supposed to be filing a divorce with soon.

Adrian mumbled something, but I didn't hear him. I got a better look at my husband realized he hadn't been sleeping well; there were dark circles underneath his eyes and he was holding his body in a way that screamed _I'm dealing with serious stress right now_. I titled my head to the side as I gathered my stuff and threw it into my purse, slightly disappointed to be leaving my book at that page.

We were about fifteen feet away from Dimitri's room, in a secluded hallway, when Adrian opened his mouth. The words completely through me off balance and caused me to stop dead in my track.

"Do you love him?"

I froze. Where had this come from? Oh, that was right – it all made sense now. I had been gone for the past eighteen days – surely, he could feel it … but I had that affair with Dimitri for at least three months before I attempted to call it quits, and he hadn't said anything then. I blanched as I thought about this. All I could do was look into his eyes, noticing how they were flickering back and forth between anger and misery.

"What gives you that idea?" I asked him, carefully avoiding the question. Adrian sighed heavily as he shrugged. He had stopped as well and I could feel the atmosphere between us drop ten degrees. My stomach hunched over in pain as I realized what was about to happen. This was it. The moment I had been avoiding for_ months_.

"I don't know, Rose. Let's start off with the fact that you're _always at this damn hospital_! You don't even sleep with me anymore! I mean that in both ways. We haven't had sex in _months_. I figured that it was just the promotion – you're job is stressful, I get it. It happened when I got promoted to doing my own cases … but I really just don't know anymore." The misery was clouding his green eyes and I subconsciously took a step back.

"You have _no idea_ what I just went through. I shot and killed someone I had considered an uncle for most of my life. I _murdered_ him in cold blood, Adrian. I lost Mason a year ago and I'll be dammed if I'm going to lose another partner again, due to my own mistakes!" I felt a little ridiculous, considering how this fight was starting in a hospital hallway … but we weren't moving. I held my ground as did Adrian and I was just thankful nobody decided to come wandering down it.

"You can hide behind your stories, Rose, but don't take me for a fool. You're treating me like I'm stupid – I'm a defense lawyer, Rose. I'm built to ask and avoid certain questions – I'm built to pick up on things that even you _police officers_," he spat with such venom in his voice, "don't even realize. I recognize post traumatic stress, and yes, I know that's what you're going through. But I also know that _that_ is just the tip of the iceberg. Nobody is _that_ affected by someone's potential death unless they care for that person in more ways than they probably should. Look at Sydney. Her fiancée was just convicted of horrible crimes, and look at how _she's _reacting. It looks slightly similar, does it not?"

My eyes narrowed as I pondered this. He was right, of course. The idea of him missing my avoiding the question was chimerical. When I didn't say anything, he only laughed. The laugh was bitter and barely held any emotion in them … but I was just to curious as to what brought this on. Was it a snowball effect? Had he noticed everything before, and was now deciding to act on it? That didn't seem like Adrian, however.

"Look at that. You're speechless. You can't even muster up a response." He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair, one of his tell-tale signs of being stressed. "Did … did you really think I wouldn't notice the hickey on your breast? The hickey's on your neck? I saw them. And when you passed them off as nothing more than sparring bruises, I completely believed you. But I started questioning myself … Our broken marriage is kind of obvious to anyone who looks, but I just had that little sliver of hope…"

"I did too. You think that I didn't? If I didn't have that hope, I would have been _gone_." Adrian shook his head in response, his body posture becoming even more rigid. "Oh my God. That's why you pushed the kid idea, isn't it? You son of a bitch!"

Adrian rolled his eyes. "No, that's not why I pushed the kid issue. Look, you're even jumping to conclusions. I pushed the kid issue because I actually _wanted_ to have a child with the woman I loved. Tell me, where'd you go after that fight? I called the station… You weren't at the station. I called Lissa and Christian … you weren't there. I called _everywhere_ and nobody had seen you. Pray tell, Rose, why is that?"

Dimitri's. I had gone to Dimitri's after the fight … and ended things after our little get together. Adrian laughed again as he shook his head. "You can't even answer that! My hope came back, you know, the night of the party after Kennedy was born … I was miserable for a reason. Between our crumbling marriage and me having no idea where you were …. you start to think the worse. I was right about that, wasn't it? That night you weren't wearing your wedding ring. I know that you like to take it off when you shower, but you've _never_ forgotten to put it back on."

"I can't believe you're making that assumption!" I yelled as my eyes narrowed into slits. He was right, though. He was oh so right and that's what was fueling my anger. "I was _stressed_! In case you don't remember, you told me to get the fuck out of your house. Put yourself in my shoes for once in your life, Adrian, and tell me how the hell you would feel about that. You would be stressed out too, would you not?"

His eyes narrowed as well, matching mine. "Stop. Just fucking stop with this, Rose. You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want, but I know – _I know_ – your love is just a lie. It's nothing but a lie." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let's look at the facts right now – I ask you a question, a question so personal, and you avoid it … you _still_ haven't answered that, by the way. You're getting defensive. Your body posture is rigid and you've still ceased to answer any of my questions. I think they call this 'lawyering 101' – you're hiding something."

I couldn't respond to this. Adrian was right. The tears were forming at the brink of my eyes. I had wanted this to go smoothly – casually bring up the idea of a divorce … but that was naïve of me. This was worse than I had expected, though. I leaned up against the wall and then proceeded to slide down the wall, overcome by my own misery.

"The guilt in your voice is giving you away. But you want to know the worst part about this? I'm more pissed off at myself then I am at you. I should have _seen _this coming, but I didn't. It wasn't until I observed Sydney that the thoughts truly started assaulting my mind that it ever seemed like a reality… And Lissa. Well, you know Lissa. I confronted her about it and she was just like you – casually playing it off. She never answered my questions either … nor did Christian, for that matter." He sighed as he looked at me. I didn't need to be looking at him to know he was looking at me, misery running all over his face.

"I'm going to ask you this one more time and I want the truth. Do you love him?"

It took me a moment or two before I could finally answer. I forced myself to look up at my husband – soon to be ex – and look into his green eyes as I answered his question.

"Yes."

His lips pursed into a straight line. "That's all you needed to say. That's all you needed to say moments ago and we could have avoided this whole damn situation." He ran his fingers through his hair again. "Get up. We'll deal with this tomorrow, Rose. It's almost nine o'clock at night and I have a case tomorrow. I'm already stressed enough as it is and I don't need to add 'calling a divorce lawyer' onto my list."

It wasn't until he offered his hand that I managed to get up, but I stopped myself. After everything that had just happened, I was not going to go home with him. He was going to go home and bitch to Sydney and Jill, I knew it. If I went home – to our home – he would become more stressed.

"Then go. I'll call Lissa. Like you said, we'll deal with this tomorrow, once you get off for the day." I paused. I was expecting for him to turn on his heels and walk away, but he didn't. I was thoroughly surprised at this. Instead, he was shaking his head.

"I always thought you'd be the one."

I made a movement to reach out my hand but I pulled away at the last minute. "I did too, Adrian … but when you meet her, you'll _know_." His eyes flickered with something – hope? – and I titled my head to the side. He shoved his hands into his pockets, a grim look on his face.

"Don't feed me that bullshit. Just because you've found your soul-mate doesn't mean I will; I like I said, I thought I had. Guess I was wrong about that." And with that, he turned on his heels and made his way out of the hospital hallway. It didn't take him long to disappear. Once he was fully gone, I leaned back into the wall as I tried to regain my self control. The energy had been drained from my body. I now had to options – one, go back to Dimitri's room or two, go to Lissa's.

And once again, my best friend was exactly what I needed. I pulled out my phone from my purse and called my friend, demanding that she give me a ride to her house from the hospital. She knew that something was wrong, but being the great friend she was, she didn't ask questions about it. Within ten minutes, my best friend had arrived at the main entrance of the hospital and graciously took me into her car. By this point, the tears were flowing out of my eyes – and if Lissa was as good as I thought she was, she would have put two and two together.

"You want to talk about it, babe?" She asked once I strapped in my seat belt and she drove off. I shook my head and she nodded in response, changing the song on her iPod. She changed it to _Skyscraper _by Demi Lovato … and that strangely made me feel better. The drive to her house took all but a few moments and we were stumbling into her living room, where Christian was laying on the couch, watching a movie. Kennedy appeared to be fast asleep, another thing for which I was thankful for.

"What happened?" Lissa finally asked as I sat down on the couch next to her and curled myself into her. She wrapped her arms protectively around me and ran her fingers through my hair as I tried to find my words. She looked up at Christian and gave him a glance and he nodded, making his way out of the living room. I clung onto Lissa as I heard something move around in the kitchen, to where I assumed that Christian was making some food.

At long last, I found my words. "He found out. He … he's been guessing for awhile, apparently. And he just asked me … and … and …" I couldn't go on. What more was I supposed to say? "He was right, about everything. I'm a terrible person, Liss. I'm fucking terrible. Who could do that to someone they supposedly loved?"

Lissa pulled away from me and gave me a stern look with her jade green eyes. "You are _not_ fucking terrible, Rose. You have made some bad decisions and this is what we call karma. Yes, you did kind of deserve it, because cheating is a terrible thing… But you _realize _that. I know you do, and that's why you're beating yourself up so badly right now." She pulled me closer towards her and kissed my forehead. "I know that Adrian would have been fuming and said whatever he pleased, but I don't agree with his choice of words. There was a way to handle this in an adult manner, which obviously went out the window."

Lissa didn't say anything else after that. Fifteen minutes later, Christian returned with drinks and a surplus of food, for which I was grateful for. I was damn hungry now that I thought about it. Adrian and I had been on our way to dinner with Sydney, ironically...

We were in silence for most of the night, but the couple constantly tried to cheer me up. It worked about thirty percent of the time, but it wasn't enough. I still held the haunted look on my face. When I deemed it was time to go to bed some hour and a half later, Lissa crawled into bed with me. For the first time since college, Lissa cuddled with me the entire night, in an attempt to keep me happy.

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><p><strong>This only took twenty two chapters to get too. I know some people are going to ask as to why Rose didn't really fight back with Adrian - well, let's put it this way: she knows she deserved it. And who recognized the book Rose was reading? Trolololol.<strong>

**Ah. The next chapter might be the last one before the epilogue... Not sure yet. I have the epilogue and the ending planned out, I just need to really flesh it all out now. But it's sad that this story is almost coming to an end.**

**Now review. Or someone seriously goes in and cuts off Dimitri's oxygen supply. ):**


	23. With You

**Oh my God. You guys ... this is it. The final chapter in this story. But don't fret! I still have a few things planned for this - mainly an epilogue (or two) and an outtake regarding Christian. And since I'm not willingly to let my baby go yet, I'm more than willing to do any other outtakes you guys want of unspoken scenes or a different POV.**

**Ugh. It makes me so sad that this is kind of my final chapter. I'm incredibly proud of myself, though... I've never done a chapter story before. This is the first time I've truly finished a (decent) chapter story. You guys have been wonderful. And yes, the ending is slightly based off the ending to _Mockingjay_ with the 'real or not real' ... which, btw, was total BULLSHIT. I did not like the end of Mockingjay... and I'm rereading it. Trolol.**

**Oh, and if I get another question about when Dimitri will wake up, I will ring someone's neck ... because this chapter answers that question. ;D**

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><p><strong>chapter twenty-three; "with you."<strong>

When I woke up the next morning, it took me a moment to recall just how I wound up in my best friend's house, with my best friends arms wrapped around me. Yet, once those moments hit me, I couldn't unblock them. They were like a plague that kept on infecting my mind, not willing to go away. Just the memory of the look on Adrian's face made my stomach churn in pain. With my eyes wide open, I refused to move from the bed. I was warm and I felt safe in Lissa's arms.

I had no idea how long I stayed in that position, staring blankly at the wall, but as soon as Lissa started stirring – no doubt from some maternal instinct about her baby needed her – I figured it was time to get up. I was sitting upright in the bed when Lissa's eyes fluttered open, and she gave a big yawn as she stretched out her body. I wondered how long it had been since she had slept through the night. I took that thought back as soon as I looked at her. There was a good chance she had gotten up in the middle of the night to take care of Kennedy, given the dark circles under her eyes.

"How are you feeling?" was the first thing she asked. I managed to play a small smile, but responded with a shrug. How was I supposed to answer something like that? I pulled the blanket up closer to my body.

"I've had better days. I'm okay, though." It wasn't the truth but it wasn't exactly a lie. She raised her eyebrows in questioning, but she didn't say anything. I didn't want to talk about what I had to do today. Today was my day off – I was thankful for that - but that also meant I had a lot of time on my hands. Hell, I had the next three days off.

My best friend looked like she wanted to say something, but was cut off by the sound of her crying child. I cringed as I realized just how much this child probably cried – yet another reason as to why I couldn't have a child. I already had one hell of a sleep schedule and couldn't afford to lose it due to some living, breathing, parasite. She gave me an apologetic look and I rolled my eyes dramatically, pushing her off the bed.

"Go shut that child up. Please, for the sake of my sanity. I'm going to hop in the shower and then I'm going to head over to the hospital for a little bit," I stated as I moved out from underneath the covers, exposing my body to the cold air. I shivered for a moment but allowed my body to regain control and become used to the temperature. Lissa kept her house colder than I did – had. That made me nervous to think that it probably wasn't going to be my house anymore. What would I even get in the divorce?

The divorce. My face fell as I thought about this and Lissa's eyebrows burrowed together in frustration. I sighed. "Christ, child, just _go_. I just want a shower and a change of clothes. I still have an overnight bag here, right?" I sometimes spent the night at Lissa's house when I had to be at work within four hours of leaving, as she was closer and it was easier for me to come and go, since they had a bigger house. Lissa nodded as she finally left the room, leaving me alone in my solitude.

I lay in the bed for a couple more minutes, aimlessly wondering what today would bring. I checked the clock on the bed next to me and saw that it was just a little bit past noon – which meant that I had slept for over twelve hours. Strangely enough, I still felt tired – but that was the stress speaking, not from me actually being tired. I had seen what divorce looked like, through the television and having heard about Mason's parents … but after that? That was about it. Would they ask about why we were getting a divorce? No, that seemed silly, because there was an obvious reason – we weren't in love with each other anymore.

Actually, that was a lie. At least, for the most part. I really did love Adrian, I just wasn't _in love _with him. I hadn't been for some time and I had been too stupid to see it straight …. Adrian was a different story. He was in love with me, as far as I knew. I imagined he still was – otherwise he wouldn't have been so pained by what I had told him last night. My hands clenched around the blanket as I thought about last night. It was at that moment I decided to get my ass out of bed and make my way to the shower.

The shower was relaxing. Lissa had an unlimited supply of hot water, while I had to watch how long I was in the shower, simply because it saved money and our hot water tank could only last so long. The water assaulted my body, unhooking all the kinks in my body and releasing my hair from the vicious knots that had formed during the night. After I had washed my hair and cleaned my body, I finally just sat down in the tub part of the shower, letting the water hit me. It was refreshing and still relaxing, but I was becoming tense. I was allowing my mind to think, which I knew I shouldn't be doing.

Five minutes later, I turned off the water. I couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted to become numb – I wanted to not think anymore. I wrapped the towel around my body and wandered back into the guestroom, finding my night bag along with a note. I picked up the note and smiled; it was Lissa reminding me not to wallow in my own misery and that we were all going out to eat once I was ready and take all the time in the world. I really did love my best friend.

The idea of breakfast sounded tempting, but I knew it wouldn't be enough to satisfy my wandering brain. Instead, I changed into my clothes – a simple black tee shirt and blue skinny jeans with a green sweatshirt – and decided to focus on my hair and makeup. I normally did something simple, which was a basic eyeshadow with some eyeliner and a light lip gloss… and as I looked at my best friends make up palette, I decided that that would be the best thing to do. They probably wanted to head out soon and I didn't want to take _forever_. Instead, I just focused on blow drying and curling my hair into loose ringlets.

Forty five minutes, I was finally pleased with how I looked – and how I had managed to keep my mind distracted and focus on things like _not_burning myself (which I had done once before). I made my way out of the bathroom and down into the living room, where Lissa was cooing at Kennedy and Christian looked like he was about ready to pass out on the couch. Apparently, someone didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

"Sparky, don't look so down. The party's finally here – you can have some fun now," I stated as I sat down next to him, knowing it would be a couple of moments before we left for breakfast. Christian rolled his eyes as he put his arm around me and put me in a headlock, ruffling my hair.

"Can't you see that I'm just overjoyed by your presence?" He replied with an equally sarcastic tone and I made a noise as he ruffled my hair. I had worked so hard on it! At least I had hair-spray in it, which would keep it in place, for the most part. "Seriously though, how are you? You need me to kick someone's ass? I can do it, you know. Beat that motherfucker to a pulp. He'll never know what's coming."

I snorted as he let me go. "You couldn't hurt a fly. You won't even kill spiders for Lissa, you fucking pussy. I highly doubt you could take down Adrian, though it would be highly amusing. No, don't worry about it. I'm fine. I know it's hard to believe, but I'm actually a big girl, Christian. This is my own mistake. This is my problem and I have to deal with the consequences. "

His eyes darkened over as I spoke. All of the sarcastic nature he had moments previously was completely void of his face. "Don't say that, Rose. Things happen for a reason, you know that, right?" I raised my eyebrows at him – that was being strangely cryptic. He shook his head. "Babe, are you done yet? I'm fucking hungry. She's had enough to eat. Hell, she's eating more than me! You aren't really going to starve me, are you? Actually, no, I know you won't. You're not going to starve Rose, are you? Because taking away her food is a death wish!"

I swatted him across the head and he snickered. "Liss, I can't believe you had a child with this motherfucker. Do you listen to him talk, or does it go in one ear and out the other?" Lissa rolled her eyes at the two of us as she finished cleaning up Kennedy and putting her into her proper clothing for going out.

"It goes in one ear and out the other half of the time. And don't swear in front of Kennedy; it's rude. Don't swear in general. It makes you sound less intelligent." She finished the last touches on Kennedy and cradled her in her arms. Christian and I both snorted in response to Lissa's statement.

"Actually, I think it makes Christian sound like he knows what he's talking about, because God knows he normally doesn't. And I'm not hungry, not really." Once again, that was the stress heavily speaking. "Can you just drop me off at the hospital?" I needed to walk through that damn hallway. As soon as I walked through it, I could put that fight behind me – for the most part. It certainly wouldn't be my last memory of that hallway.

Lissa looked truly hurt by my request, but gave me a soft smile. "Yeah, that's not a problem. I am shocked, though. You're not eating? When did you give up food?" I stood up from the couch and Christian followed my suit. We followed Lissa out to the car, exchanging our normal conversations – which included harassment towards Christian and Lissa wondering how we could say such things to each other. I did make sure to drop subtle hints about how Christian needed to man up and tell someone how he was feeling, though. That got him to shut up.

Finally, we arrived at the hospital. I said goodbye to my two best friends and made my way to the ICU, not noticing how something was different. When I signed in at the desk, the nurse seemed happy to see me – which I thought was odd. I shrugged the thought off, not even considering the possibility that Dimitri would be awake. If he had been awake, wouldn't I have known? Wouldn't they have called me? Well, I wasn't his next of kin, so I doubt they would have. I took a deep breath as I pushed through the doors and made my way through the familiar maze back to Dimitri's room. I rushed through the hallway were Adrian and I had fought last night – I wasn't going to allow myself to contemplate the problems that had arisen from that damn hallway.

I pushed through the door with my head down, not paying attention to the surroundings around me. The door shut behind me and I sighed. I was in my own little world but was quickly taken out of that world when I heard one simple word.

"Roza."

My head jerked up and I stopped breathing. There he was, completely alive and functioning. I didn't think – I just acted. I rushed towards Dimitri and flung my arms around him, the tears freely falling. They weren't tears of sadness – they were tears of joy. Joy that Dimitri was alive and not dead, that he was out of his coma and not going to be in it forever, like he might have been. His whole body was warm as he wrapped his arms around me, chuckling softly.

"Be careful of my chest. I've got stitches on both sides." I hiccupped and mumbled a sorry as I detangled myself from him, taking in his presence. He still looked the same, still incredibly godlike … but he also looked a little beaten down. I could only begin to imagine that he was on some serious painkillers, plus with a ton of other drugs to make sure he was healthy after life or death surgery. Our eyes locked and he ran a hand through my hair and I hiccupped again. "It's so good to see you… How long was I out? What… what happened?"

I shrugged. "Half a month, give or take." I paused, not wanting to relive the horrors of that night … but it was too late. As soon as the words left his mouth, the memory flooded my mind and was impossible to go away. Subconsciously, I told him everything that happened – from the moment he was rendered useless to when I shot Victor to when he was taken to the hospital and to when he was concluded to be in a coma. I spoke fast, but he understood everything that I said. At some point during my spiel, he took his hands into mine, instantly calming me down.

But once I was done, his eyebrows pushed together as he studied me. He knew that there was something else – I was such an open book to him. It would be something about how my body posture was or that I lacked something key in my normal, vibrant personality or whatever. Victor was a great interest to him – oh yes it was. I could see it in his eyes … but it wasn't the greatest. It killed me that he knew me so well. Hell, he knew me better than Adrian, who was supposed to be my husband (soon to be ex, I mentally corrected myself).

"There's something else, Roza. You know that I know there's something else." He unlatched our hands and placed one on my cheek. Of course he didn't know about Adrian – so I found it highly odd that he was taking these risks, knowing that Adrian could come in at any moment, if I knew he would. I knew that, but did Dimitri know? No, he didn't know in the slightest. I sighed as I looked away from him. I was trying to find the courage in me to tell him what happened, but the words never came out. We sat there in silence and I could see the wheels turning in his mind. I knew that he was putting two and two together – to anyone who looked, it was sort of obvious.

"Adr- he found out. I … I don't know how. It happened last night." Once I started the story, I found it impossible to stop, just like when I told him what happened with Victor. "He asked me a question and I didn't answer him. It lead to this really big fight. Well, it was more like he was the one doing the yelling and I kind of held my ground and avoided his question…. He finally had enough and left." _Please don't ask me what that question was. _"He said we're going to talk about it today … but I don't know if that's going to happen. He's at court until five, maybe six."

That was all I was going to say on the subject, and I think Dimitri picked up on that. I was thankful that he did, because I couldn't divulge further into that. It was a rough outline of what happened, and right now, that was all Dimitri really needed to know. Eventually, I would tell him the rest – but not right now. Instead, I was more curious about Dimitri. "So when did you wake up? I left at about eight thirty last night and you were still in a coma." I choked on the word.

He ran his fingers through his hair as he sighed. "I think I woke up at about … four? Four thirty this morning? I don't know. I just remember opening my eyes and I couldn't breathe, because that tube was still in my throat. Scared the hell out of me, too. It took me a moment to remember where I was, but once I did, things got easier. I've been up since then … I haven't really done much, since they won't let me, because of my stitches and my wound is way too fragile."

"They're just afraid you're going to run away from the hospital," I joked. "Not that I could blame you. I'd be clawing at the walls if I was in here."

Dimitri smiled and my heart tugged. How long had it been since I had seen one of those smiles? It had been a long time, that was for sure. "I know you would … but it's not that. I think some of the nurses want to keep me in her forever." He shook his head and I laughed; his statement was nothing more than true. "No, it's just really hard to move. I'm on the highest level of morphine they can give me and it's working, but it fades quickly." His fingers traced along his heart, just right below where his stitches were.

"I was lucky. It was just above the heart … maybe an inch or two. I find it hard to believe that Victor missed my heart … but then again, it was dark." I had found that hard to believe, as well. Victor always had a great shot … but my throat closed up as I considered the real possibility as to why Victor hadn't aimed directly for his heart: torture.

By not getting his heart, but only an inch or two above it (if that), then it would have allowed for Dimitri to bleed out slowly, dying in complete agony. His lung would have collapsed, which would have made him stop breathing – and thus, stopping his heart. On top of all that, he would have been in tremendous amounts of pain. I shuddered as I leaned into his frame, knowing he was thinking the same thing as me. He wrapped his arms around me again and I felt my body relax.

"But that doesn't really matter. What matters is that I'm alive, and you're here." He paused and pursed his lips. I could see the look in his eyes – he was curious as to what was going to happen between Adrian and I, but I knew he wasn't going to ask me about it. I was incredibly thankful for this, because I still wasn't sure if I _could _talk about it. I was absolutely dreading the conversation we would, more than likely, have tonight. His fingers twirled with the ends of my hair.

"I really love your hair like this. I find it hard to believe you had enough time on your hands, though. Hasn't work been crazy?" Work was crazy, but I shook my head, noticing how my ringlets cascaded off my shoulders. I never really did have the time to curl my hair, because work required me to have it up. I would never cut it short, so a ponytail, a braid, or a bun was the most likely option.

"I'm off for the next three days. On top of that, I've been on desk duty. It was pretty crazy for about a week after you were admitted, but things have died down. They're still working on some of the final investigations – apparently, the signs have been obvious or whatever. Abe was pissed, I'll tell you that… They want to interview you, as well." My face darkened as I thought about my interviews – they had been terrible and I had been forced to relieve those nightmares. Internal affair detectives were _ruthless_; it seemed that they held no compassion for other officers, even though they had been one.

Dimitri chuckled. "You're on desk duty? I'm surprised. And I figured they'd probably want to interview me as soon as I woke up… Hell, there's probably a good chance that they've already called Chief and she knows I'm awake. Although, I can't really see her sending the hounds on me when I've only been awake for less than twenty four hours." He was right about that; Alberta wouldn't do that. "May I ask why you're on desk duty?

My face flushed as I looked down. "I couldn't do it. After Victor and you getting shot, I couldn't be out there. Not without you, at least. Eddie offered to be my partner for the time being, but it's almost impossible because he's a responding officer and I'm a detective. Even then … I don't know. It's just not _you_." I freely admitted. It was strange how everything was so casual now, especially since I didn't have the burden of my marriage.

I guess admitting to things made everything a lot easier.

"Ah," Dimitri said, nodded in understanding. He pulled me closer to him and I rested my head against the other side of his chest, trying very hard to avoid hitting his stitches. Dimitri kissed the top of my head and said something in Russian, but I recognized the word for 'love'. That brought a smile to my lips as I closed my eyelids and allowed myself to fall right back into sleep.

I woke up some half an hour lately, only to find that Dimitri was asleep as well. Pressing a quick peck on his lips, I untangled myself from him and from the very uncomfortable position on the hospital bed. I made my way over to the chair and scooted it closer to him, pulling out my book with once I was satisfied with how close I was. The room was warmer and I could lean back into the chair and read my book in peace… but that didn't stop me from looking up to make sure that Dimitri was still really alive, as I had been doing so for the past two weeks. There were subtle things that made it easier to comprehend that Dimitri was truly _awake_, like how he would adjust his potion in the bed or mutter something incoherently underneath his breath.

After awhile, Dimitri woke up from his slumber, but we didn't divulge into talking. Instead, he focused on his book – another cowboy book, I noticed – just like I was. I was coming to the very end of the book and was so engrossed with it that I didn't want to put it down. I had bought the second book along with the first one, which I was thankful for. I would have had to leave the hospital just to go get that damn second book, which now that Dimitri was awake, I didn't want to do.

"Hey Rose?" Dimitri finally asked after awhile. Our silence had been peaceful, which was nice. The beeping from the heart monitor wasn't as bad as it had been, as well. That damn thing had always been a distraction. I dog-eared my book page again and turned to him, waiting for him to ask whatever he wanted to. He looked nervous, but the nervousness disappeared as soon as the words left his lips. "What did Adrian ask you?"

Shit. I was really hoping that he'd not ask that. I hoped that it had been kind of implied, which it sort of had been. But if I couldn't tell Dimitri what it was, then how could I truly be with him? It was what I wanted, without a doubt. I bit the end of my lip. I had already faced that I was getting a divorce with Adrian and that I was going to be with Dimitri from now on. I had admitted it to myself and realized that it was a lot easier to just _tell _people. As soon as that though crossed my mind, I knew I could answer the question. I took a deep breath before I finally answered his question.

"He asked me if I was in love with you."

Dimitri shifted on the bed, his face deadpan. I studied him closely and could see the amusement in his eyes, along with a twinge of fear. He rested the book on his lap. "And what did you say to that?"

"I told him yes."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so it wasn't totally based off Mockingjay, but for those of you who have read it, you'll understand what I mean.<strong>

**Now review! Or you have to wait a long time to get the epilogue. And I know you're all dying to know what happens in the two I have planned, since I'm not doing a sequel. ;D**


	24. Epilogue I: So Far Away

**Here it is ... the second to last chapter of the story, and the part one of two of the epilogues. I almost cried while writing this. God, I shouldn't get so attached to my stories. ):**

**Also, I know nothing about how a divorce works. Christ, I'm seventeen - you really think I've been married? Lol bro, I'm great, but I'm not that great. **

**Lastly, to those of you who don't like Adrian and Jill - just mentally replace Jill's name with the person you want Adrian to be with. That's what I do when I read a fanfic with Adrian and someone I don't like. It works just great, trololol.**__

**_Oh, fuck my life._ I forgot to add information about Sydney's kid. Next chapter, I swear! /fail.**_**  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue I: "So Far Away"<strong>

_"Now that we're here, it's so far away. All the struggle we thought was in vain, all the mistakes, one life contained - they all finally start to go away.  
>Now that we're here it's so far away, and I feel like I can face the day. I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today.<em>"**  
><strong>"So Far Away" - Staind.

_**Three Years Later… **_

"Did you finish that report?" I asked as I rested my head against Dimitri's chest, leaning into his body. I felt him play with a strand of my hair as I looked around. We were outside, at the park, near the end of summer. The air was still warm, but it wasn't bitter cold. The park didn't have a plethora of people, but it wasn't exactly empty, either. It was perfect for a day off and to spend some time together.

"Yeah. I turned in yesterday before we headed out, remember?" Vaguely. To be honest, I hadn't really been focusing on little things like that. My mind was in other places, places I didn't really want to think about. I merely shrugged at he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his warm embrace. It had been two and a half years since we had been 'officially' together, but it really had been around three years.

My heart tugged as I thought about the past three years. It was only the last year where things had started getting better. For the first two years, I had been recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder and having to deal with a bitter divorce. The divorce, more than likely, wouldn't have been as bad, minus the fact that I cheated on my ex-husband and if I wasn't undergoing PTSD by that point.

Things were still being worked out when it came down to the legal proceedings (I never realized just how _long _they took), but for the most part, everything was said and done – by all means, we weren't 'married' anymore. Adrian kept the house and I got the truck, which I was perfectly content with. With our divorce lawyer, we had walked through the house and decided who got what … It had been pretty miserable, because we both wanted the same things, like the bed or some painting in the hallway. In the end, I finally gave up, packed up the rest of my clothes and told Adrian he could have whatever the hell he wanted, because I didn't want to deal with it anymore.

I had gone into the marriage with not a lot of money, considering how my parents worked Government jobs and while they were defending national security, their payload wasn't incredibly. As time progressed, my bank account increased, due to my own job and marrying into a rich family. I knew that money would be an issue between us – he couldn't completely cut me off and I didn't want him too. A detective held something of a meager salary, and while it was enough for a living, back-ups were always nice. I had fully gone into this divorce ending to get very little money, and I was somewhat okay with that.

What surprised me the most was that that didn't happen. A month ago, my bank account got a deposit of 250,000 dollars. Our bank accounts were still shared in a way, and I knew instantly where that money had come from. The only problem was that I couldn't understand as to _why _Adrian had decided to give me. I had seen him in passing – out about in the city and a few times in the police station – but never for more than a few minutes, if that. I had yet to tell Dimitri about this money and I was afraid that it was something of a retaliation.

Deep down, I knew that it wasn't, though. I watched Adrian from afar for the past three years. For the first eight months or so, he was miserable. He was drinking constantly and had almost lost his job, due to the drinking. That was enough to sober him up, but he needed help – it was obvious. Within the next three months, I saw him completely turn around. He was happier, willing to exchange a conversation with me, and only having the social drink. Something had changed in him, and I couldn't figure out what it was.

It was only about a year and a half ago when I figured out as to why he was so happy. Naturally, it was a woman – but not just any women. It was Jill, his secretary. I was shell-shocked when I discovered this and slightly hurt, but I moved passed it quickly. Jill was going to give him something that I couldn't – a person who loved him back. Jill would be more than willing to have children with him too, if they ever got that far. Finally, Adrian was going to have his happily ever after – the happily ever after he deserved after everything I had put him through.

Not only had the past three years been interesting for Adrian and I, it had been interesting for my best friend, as well. Right around the time Dimitri and I came out as a 'couple', Christian finally decided it was time to pop the question to his future wife. Lissa, of course, was ecstatic and said yes. The two were happily married a year and a half later. I was the maid of honour and to be completely honest, I don't remember the later half to the reception. At the time they married, Lissa was pregnant yet again, expecting their second child. She told Christian the night of the wedding.

"Er, no. I don't really remember much of the past two days. I think I'm getting sick," I lied. I knew that I wasn't getting sick. I had been throwing up every morning for the past two days, to which I really did think that I was sick. It wasn't until I called my best friend that it dawned on me that it might be something else. Lissa was now seven months pregnant (those two went at it like rabbits, I swear), and had experiences similar to mine during the first month or two of her pregnancy.

My fingers brushed along my stomach in a subtle motion as I curled up closer to Dimitri. I had taken the test last night, because I had been home 'sick' and Dimitri had been working. There was no mistaking the pink positive sign on that little stick. I was pregnant. I was going to be a mother. My fears were starting to become a reality … and I had yet to tell Dimitri. I wondered if he picked up on the fact that I was only throwing up in the morning. He was usually really good about things like that, but we both had been so stressed out from a case lately that he probably missed it. I would have, too.

"Then it's a good thing we have the day off. It's nice out today, as well." I looked up to him and watched as his eyes drifted to the lake in front of us. I was sure he was thinking the same thing I was, which brought a smirk to my face. The last time we had been at this lake, we had been alone … in the middle of the night. I swatted his shoulder.

"I don't care what you say, I'm not stripping down naked and having sex with you in the water. We've already done that once," I said with as much as I could with a serious tone, but it was hard. Dimitri gave me a lopsided grin and my heart melted. How could I keep such vital information from him? I knew that Dimitri would be over the fucking moon when I told him that I was pregnant … The question was how much longer could I keep it from him? He'd find out eventually.

"I wasn't thinking about _that _particular moment. I was more so thinking about your naked body moving against mine, the sweat glistening across your body as you moved up and down on me…." I shivered. I knew what he was doing, too. The affect this man had on me was insane. I twisted my body so that I was now facing him and pulled myself closer, closing the distance between us.

We had kissed and touched over a million times, but the sensation never changed. The jolt of electricity would shot through my body as we became one. His hands tangled into my hair and I did the same, attempting to get as close to him as possible, while being semi-appropriate. We were off duty detectives, after all. His tongue raced across my lower lip and I parted my mouth, granting him instant access. Our tongues battled as I felt us lower onto the patch of grass.

Minutes passed, but it felt like hours. I was unsure of how long we stayed in that position, frantically trying to get closer to each other with our increasing tempo in our kisses. It wasn't until I heard someone call out my name that I jerked back, feeling my face flush with in embarrassment. I looked up and instantly felt my stomach turn into knots.

It was Jill, with Adrian right next to her. No matter how many times I would look at Adrian, I would never be able to forgive myself for not handling it better. My body posture shifted as Dimitri sat up as well, surely noticing how I had gone rigid.

"It's not polite to be making out like that in a public place, Detective," Adrian stated with his trademark smirk and sarcasm. It was small, but I noticed it – the tiny hint of hurt in his eyes. I noticed Jill rub small circles into the palm of his hand, which made that trace of hurt all but disappear. The smile I had intended to force came out naturally.

"I don't see a sign that says 'no publicly making out'. It's a free country; I'm not breaking any laws." Only just making myself feel like a fool in front of my ex-husband, that's all. Oh, and it doesn't help that the man I'm making out with just so happens to be the man I cheated on Adrian with. You know, little things like that – no big deal at all. I managed to lock his gaze and saw him smile – a full grin, which was something I had yet to see since our divorce.

And just like me, the hurt was there. It would probably never go away, but like reasonable adults, we were trying to put our past behind us and accept life as it came at us. My heart stopped beating frantically as Dimitri took my hand. I turned towards him to say something, but stopped when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It had been small and subtle, but it was almost unmistakable.

"Oh my _God_," I breathed and I saw Adrian's lips twitch up into a smirk and Jill blush a vibrant red. She mumbled something under her breath, but I didn't hear it. Instead, I broke away from Dimitri's grasp and pulled the two of them into a hug. I felt Adrian ever so slightly flinch as I did this, but it didn't stop him from chuckling.

"You're suffocating me, Rose. I can barely breathe. I think you might have crushed Jill, she's so tiny." I pulled away, flushing with embarrassment. Being pregnant had made my emotions go all over the place, and even though I was truly thrilled for the couple … well, sometimes my emotions went through the roof. I smirked as Jill smacked Adrian in the arm and told him to shut up. After that, she dug into her purse and pulled something out – an envelope.

I frowned as she tossed it to me. "We meant to mail this out awhile ago … as in like, two months ago. It, um, took a lot longer than we thought." I knew what she was talking about – the decision whether or not to invite me. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I bit my lip. The money donation was making a lot of sense now. I felt Dimitri wrap an arm around me as I tore open the envelope.

The invitation itself was beautiful – Jill had obviously spent a lot of time working on it, because I knew Adrian didn't do a damn thing with wedding invitations. It was the date that threw me off – it was so _soon_! A week away … How long had they been engaged? I clamped down on my tongue to prevent myself from asking, but it was Adrian who started laughing.

"You don't have to make this so awkward, Rose. We've only been engaged for six months. Does that answer your question?" My face flushed again as I turned into Dimitri's chest. It was amazing actually talking to Adrian, knowing that he was doing _so _well. That made two of us. Jill nudged him with her elbow and he shrugged. "What? You know she wants to know."

"Oh my God, you're so embarrassing, Adrian," Jill ranted as she turned her attention back towards us. There was excitement in her features but fear in her eyes. I knew that fear – it was the fear of someone turning down an invitation. I had been through that fear. "So … are you planning on coming?" Her tone was laced with nerves. I took a deep breath as I turned to Dimitri.

We didn't need to communicate verbally. It was almost like a telepathic communication. The question was clear in my eyes: What do you think? I wanted to go, to be completely honest … but I didn't want to make Dimitri uncomfortable. That was certain ironic. After a pregnant pause, Dimitri's lips twitched up into a smile as he turned to Jill.

"We'd be more than happy too."

_**One week later…**_

I was lost. I was lost in a freaking _church_. To be fair, the church was fucking huge – if I remember correctly, it was the biggest church in Missoula. I had gone downstairs to use the bathroom, because that's where someone told me they were. Well, they were down there … but nobody told me how to get _back up the damn stairs_. Maybe it was implied. It wasn't my fault that I had apparently gone up the wrong sets of stairs and was now, probably, somewhere in the back of the church. I cursed loudly as I looked down the next hallway.

There was a door to my left. Maybe this was my way out of this retched maze – and if not, then I could ask someone for help, because this was beyond my level of comprehension. I blamed it on the stress – I still had yet to tell Dimitri I was pregnant out of fear, and I was nervous because this was my _ex-husbands _wedding. Taking a deep breath, I placed my hand on the door knob and pushed through.

Well, speak of the mother fucking devil.

"Adrian," I barely stammered out. Oh dear God, he looked so good in his tux, too. And we were alone in a room … this was not what I needed. I bit my lip as my mind reeled – should I stay, or should I go? I made a move to turn on my heels and head out, but Adrian's hand clasped around my wrist, thus preventing me from doing so.

"Rose, wait. Don't leave yet." I turned around to face him, noticing that the emotion was completely void of his face. He let go of my wrist and took a step back, clearing his throat as he did so. That's when the nerves started to show – he opened his mouth to speak, but clamped it shut again. Finally, he broke down. "I just wanted to say thank you. I mean, that sounds terrible … and having your wife cheat on you fucking sucks … but I know now that our marriage would have ended eventually, regardless of what happened with you and … and Dimitri." He ran his hand through his hair, his left foot tapping impatiently.

"She sort of crept up on me, you know? I mean, we had always been close, especially considering how she's saved my ass more times than I can count and I've been helping her with law school … but I don't know. It happened after one our meetings with the divorce lawyer that I saw her in this whole new light." His face was shining so bright as he talked about Jill. The smile he was wearing was contagious. "And then I _knew_. I knew that she was the one for me …"

I took his hands into mine. "Adrian, I'm so happy for you. I'm so fucking sorry for everything I did to you; I don't even know how you're thanking me, because that really is fucking terrible." That earned a laugh from the both of us. "You're right. It really would have ended eventually, and I'm so glad you can see that now. Jill is going to be good for you – better than I ever was, that's for damn sure." My fingers moved to his tie, which was sitting askew.

The move was so cliché, but I couldn't help myself. I adjusted his tie with a small, sad smile. The silence between us was brief before Adrian broke it. "She's pregnant," he blurted out before he could stop himself. His eyes widened in shock and I mirrored that image. My hands were placed on his chest and I could practically feel the fear rippling through his body.

"See? She's already better for you than I ever was." The joke failed miserably. I put one of my hands to his cheek. "Don't be nervous. You're going to make a great father. I know you're already great with Jackson, and I know that because you're great with children in general. Hey, look at me." I cupped his chin, forcing our eyes to lock. "You're going to live a great life with Jill, Adrian. You're going to be the second best damn father in the world."

He raised an eyebrow. "Second? Is there something you're not telling me? I like to believe I'd be the best, no matter where I am." Now it was my turn to look away and I knew he was putting the pieces together. "Holy shit, Rose. Are you serious?" I merely nodded – I didn't want to tell Adrian. He had wanted children with me and I never wanted them when I was with him. I didn't want to break the steps towards progress we had been getting at for the past week or so. Instead, Adrian gave a cheerful laugh as he pulled me into a hug.

"I'm happy for you too, Rose. I'm going to be completely honest with you, though … It's still hard. I still get angry when I see you with Dimitri or hear something like this, but it passes as soon as it comes, and it's almost non-existent with Jill there. I don't know if it's something I'll ever be able to get over, as I did spend eight months at the end of a bottle." I flinched at his callous choice of words. "That's why I decided to give you that deposit. It's when Jill and I decided to invite you and Dimitri to the wedding – and we wanted to do that in person and not just send it via the mail."

I opened my mouth to protest the deposit, completely ready to demand that he withdrawal it and take it back, but he stopped me by putting a hand to my stomach. "You don't make that much money as a detective, though you should. You're going to be needing it… Consider this my early Christmas present to you and Dimitri. Don't spend it all in one place." He gave me a wink and I laughed. His face fell somber after my laughter died down.

"I'm serious, Rose. I … I want us to be friends. I want us to be the best of friends, honestly. I know it'll be hard, given our past … but I can't lose you. I love you, Rose." I knew exactly what he meant, because I felt the exact same way. The smile spread to my eyes.

"I love you too, Adrian. I want us to be friends, as well… You were a big part of my life and you always will be." I was at a loss for words now. Instead of speaking, Adrian pulled me into another hug and kissed the top of my forehead.

"We could not be more cliché, could we? This is like, Emmy-worthy," Adrian mused as we still stayed in our hug. He shifted next to me and sighed. "Well, according to my watch, it's time for me to get out there. How did you even find me, anyways? Were you lost? You looked pretty lost when you came in here. Here, I'll show you out."

And he did. We talked about small things as we made our way back to the church. I wished him luck once more before I took my seat next to Dimitri and he took his seat up on the altar. Dimitri took his hand into mine. "Have a hard time finding your way back from the bathroom?" He looked at Adrian with curiosity, then back at me. My cheeks were starting to hurt – apparently, I was smiling.

"I did, actually. I … I ran into Adrian." I waited for Dimitri to interject, but he didn't. "We talked … it was a really good talk." I recapped what most of our conversation had been about, obviously editing out the fact that I was pregnant and the deposit. Dimitri listened intently as I talked, and when I was done, there was a grin on his face.

"I'm glad, Roza. I've always known that no matter what, you and Adrian will still have some type of connection, regardless of how things ended between you two. I knew it'd take some time, but I knew you'd be back with each other eventually." He pressed his lips up against mine for a brief kiss. I would have liked the kiss to last longer, but the music had started playing. "Later," Dimitri said and my body shivered with anticipation. Later was always a good thing.

For the next hour, I watched my ex-husband get married. Jill looked beautiful in her white dress and Jackson was adorable as the ring-bearer, but it didn't shake the feeling of awkwardness. I almost felt like I was intruding on their personal lives, even if I had been invited and Adrian and I had both agreed to move past this and become friends. Would it ever _not _be awkward? Probably not. If we worked at it, it would get better and better … it may even go away.

The ceremony ended, and Dimitri and I made our way over to the reception hall. We met up with Lissa and Christian, who had left the children at home with a sitter for the reception. I still had yet to tell Lissa about what Adrian and I had talked about, but now wasn't the time. While we were waiting for the married couple to arrive, Lissa had taken the chance to drop not-so-subtle hints about my pregnancy.

She was making some statement about how she was watching a movie about a girl who was pregnant when the married couple made their grand appearance. Jill's face was flushed a beat red and I couldn't help but smirk. Adrian's swagger made it obvious the two had a quickie before coming over. My mind traced back to what Adrian had told me earlier and I studied Jill's stomach. Her dress wasn't skin tight, so I couldn't see a visible bump – but I believed him.

The party went on, finally leading into a dinner, where Sydney made her speech. She was technically Adrian's best man, but she refused to wear a tux and told Adrian she would have to deal with it. Seeing Sydney now was incredibly – two weeks after Adrian and I had our fight at the hospital, she had packed her bags and headed over to Europe again, this time staying in London. While she was in London, she met a man. He was an American soldier and the two were pretty smitten with each other.

I was just glad Sydney was with someone who wouldn't be betray her like that. I knew he was good because I had done the background check myself. Sydney and I had actually talked the past three years. She was pissed at what I had done – who wasn't – but like Lissa, she got it, or understood it as well as she could have.

The dinner lead to the cutting of the cake, where Jill smashed her piece all over the left side of Adrian's face, much to everyone's amusement. After the cutting and much gulping of the cake, the first dance, came, which was incredibly sweet. The song was called 'Inevitable' by Anberlin, and it was quite possibly the sweetest love song I had ever heard. It was also fitting for the couple, considering how they were truly meant for one another. Their dance ended and it lead into the regular party, with the drinking and the talking and the dancing. I sipped my water carefully, and Dimitri was completely unphased by all the drinks he had. Apparently, the vodka in Russia was some serious shit. What didn't go unnoticed by him was the fact that I was drinking water instead of something alcoholic, like I would have been.

"I find it incredibly hard to believe that you're just going to have water the whole night..." His voice was suspicious, and I was praying he wasn't going to put two and two together. I shrugged as I heard a commotion behind me. I knew what it was time for the bouquet and garter toss. I wondered if Adrian was going to use his teeth to get the garter off. By the appalled look on Jill's face when he whispered something into her ear, I knew that this was the case.

I merely shrugged as I clasped my hands around the water. My hands were shaking - I wanted to tell him, but I was nervous. We weren't even engaged, for crying out loud! The men were wolf-whistling as Adrian's teeth skillfully brought down Jill's garter. He closed his eyes and flung it at someone. That someone was Christian, who blanched as Lissa laughed.

And as I looked at my best friend, I knew that it was time to tell Dimitri. I wasn't going to wait until we got home – I couldn't wait. Jill was still recovering from Adrian's talent and I turned to face Dimitri. I took a deep breath as I put my water down. It was easier to admit that I was pregnant in my mind than physically tell my boyfriend.

"I'm pregnant."

There were a bunch of screams from the girls, and I knew that Jill had thrown her bouquet. I watched the love of my life carefully as his eyes widened in shock and his brows pushed together. He was putting two and two together now – the morning sickness, my inability to eat some of my favourite foods, my swollen feet … A lot of those things I got with stress, so it was easy for him to brush it off. Not me, though.

His face broke out into a grin as he placed one of his hands on my stomach. He took his other hand and wrapped it around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His big, warm hands never left my stomach. "We're going to be parents… I'm going to be a father."

The look on Dimitri's face was radiant. The sun didn't even compare to the smile on his face at that point. I smiled back as I felt the tears start to form in my eyes. I rested my hands on top of his. "You're going to be a father."

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><p><strong>Jesus Christ, stop asking me if Rose is going to get pregnant. Lolol. She was never intended to get pregnant in the original story - bro, that's a total freaking cliche to an affair storyline. But the two epilogues are the happily ever afters - so I think you all can guess what the next one is, can you not? And if you can't ... think back to the most basic thought. Fo'reals, brah. ;D<strong>

**On top of that, I really wanted Adrian and Rose to 'get back together', in a way. I don't like the idea of them romantically (at least in the sense of forever) but I adore the idea of them having a great friendship bond, which the both of them deserve. I just think that Adrian needs something - someone - (Sydney in Bloodlines, Jill in my fanfics hahaha) - in order for him to realize that ... which is exactly what happened here. And I just love Adrian; he does deserve a happy ending, which includes him being on good terms with Rose, no matter what she did to him. D:**

**Now review or everyone dies, trololol.**


	25. Epilogue II: Smile

**A few things: Here it is ... the end. I'm feeling strangely empty. ): Two, I don't know a damn thing about weddings, even though I've been to them and have been in them. Google is a great , I will be changing my username to _with love, alaska_ after I post this chapter, so don't freak. :D Lastly, there will be _no_ sequel, so don't ask. (:**

**_Chapter song:_ "Smile" by Uncle Kracker.**

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><p><strong>epilogue two: 'smile.'<strong>**  
><strong>

_**A year and a half later…**_

"Lissa, I don't like this." And I didn't. I was so freaking nervous that my hands were shaking. I had only been this nervous once in my life, and that was when I was waiting for my acceptance into the police department. I hadn't even been this nervous when I was marrying Adrian. My hands worked my way to my hair, where Lissa swatted my hands away.

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it. You look gorgeous. Your veil is being a pain in the butt, though. Do you have any more bobby pins?" She had spent the last four hours working on my hair and make-up and was now just doing the final touches. My hair was in loose waves, cascading off my shoulders. It was full of something sparkly, which I was sure came from some hair-spray thing. I was pleased with the overall affect … but Lissa was right. The veil that I had wasn't working out well, even though it had worked earlier, before my hair had been so elaborately done.

I opened my mouth to protest, but clamped it shut instead. All I could do was focus on myself in the mirror. Hell, I had a hard time recognizing myself. Between my curly hair and smokey eyes and vibrant red lips, I looked like a different person. I think it was the dress, though. The dress hugged my figure in all the right places, emphasizing my curves and chest. It was a sweetheart neckline with an empire waist. About mid-thigh, the dress held a gigantic bow and flared out ever so slightly. The train was only a foot or two, which was nice, considering how I never cared for long trains.

Even that became nerve-racking, and I let my mind wander. I thought of my lovely daughter, Sophia. I had given birth to her a little over seven months ago, and it really had been the most painful experience of my life. I had figured Lissa was just a wimp when she had given birth – no, she wasn't. That had hurt like a son of a bitch. Once it was over, I was graced with Sophia. She was now seven and a half months old, and looked just like her father, or so I told Dimitri. He insisted he looked just like me, but I didn't believe him.

A month before Sophia had been born, Dimitri had proposed. It wasn't something extravagant, like how Christian had proposed to Lissa (he proposed to her at the Eiffel Tower, when they visited France), which was something I was perfectly content with. We had been wandering around a frozen lake and sipping hot chocolate, as it was the beginning of winter. It was a clear night and the moon was shining brightly overhead when Dimitri got down on one knee and proposed.

Which lead us to where we were today; our wedding day. I was so nervous, for reasons I couldn't explain. I really hadn't been this nervous when I had married Adrian – I just wanted to get the wedding over with and I didn't understand the fuss with it … But now that I was with Dimitri, I completely understood the fuss behind it. When the person was right, the wedding had to be right. That, and I had completely let Lissa do most of the planning, since she was obsessed with wedding planning. I felt like that should have been her job, instead of being a nurse. It seemed slightly more fitting.

"There!" Lissa proclaimed as she threw her hands up in the air. I knew that the veil was in place now, which I was thankful for. The veil wasn't long and a little bit on the short side, but Lissa insisted, stating that it matched my dress. I learned long ago never to argue with her fashion decisions, because she was usually right. I looked at myself in the mirror, noticing that the headband that held the veil together sat askew on my head. "That's the only way I could get it to work. Oh well, nobody's going to care anyways."

The door open and in flew Christian, along with their three children – Kennedy, Ethan and Olivia, plus Sydney and her son, Matthew. I suddenly felt very crowded in the room, even though it was clearly built to hold many people. I made my way towards the nearest chair and sat down, noticing how the nerves amped up. If I was seriously freaking out in front of my closest friends, how the hell was I going to fair in front of a room full of people, to which included my ex-husband, his wife and two, soon to be three, kids?

It was Sydney who was at my side while my best friend exchanged words with her husband and children. Matthew was bouncing around happily, although that was part of his bubbly personality. She took her hands into mine and gave me a dazzling smile. "Don't fret. Seriously, Rose. I told you this when you married Adrian and I'm going to tell you the same thing now: you'll be fine. You and Dimitri … I don't know… Looking back on it, I don't really see how you and Adrian worked out."

Most people didn't, not anymore. Over the past year and a half, our friendship had escalated. Our marriage was a thing of the past, but little things – little comments that came out from a slip of the tongue, mostly – still hurt. Other than Dimitri and Lissa, Adrian was my closest confidant. I never really imagined that it would play out like this. I was probably going to be reborn as a rat or something in my next lifetime, but that was okay.

"What … what if it doesn't work out?" I finally whispered. The idea itself was obviously chimerical, but it was that unsettling fear in the pit of my stomach. My right foot tapped impatiently against the ground and Sydney frowned as she looked at me. Actually, she didn't frown – she looked livid pissed.

"Don't you ever say that! I don't want to hear those filthy words coming out of your mouth again. We all know you messed up – but what happened in the past needs to stay in the past. You've learned from your mistakes and you move forward. There's nothing you can do to change it – you just look forward with new eyes and don't look back." I saw the pain flicker in her eyes and I knew that she was speaking from experience. But that didn't explain the terrible nerves I was feeling. I was taking her words to heart, and nothing was happening.

"Sydney, I-"

"No. No. No. I don't care. This is your wedding day! It's supposed to be happy. Get off your high horse and come down to earth for a moment. You'll be fine, Rose." She looked like she wanted to say something more, but glanced at a clock and sighed. She stood up and took one of Matthew's tiny hands. "You'll be walking out that door in five minutes time." I looked around and noticed that Lissa had disappeared, probably getting everyone into their place. Sydney was right – it was almost time. I stood up from my chair, noticing how my hands were shaking.

I looked around to say something, noticing that I was left all alone. I had known that this was going to happen – on top of that, I wanted some time to think to myself. But my mind didn't get the chance to wander, because as soon as Sydney disappeared from my sight, my father reappeared in her place, looking quite normal in a tux. At least he wasn't wearing some bizarre colour, but opted for a nice champagne colour for the vest and tie.

"Kiz," he simply stated. I bit down on my bottom lip and moved towards his outstretched hand. Over the past four and a half years, I had been working on rekindling my slightly broken relationship with my father and my obviously broken relationship with my mother. It was easier said than done, but my father and I were back on the right track. My mother and I … well, it was complicated, but it as a hell of a lot better than it ever had been.

We locked our hands, and he pulled me into a tight embrace and pressed his lips to my forehead. "I'm proud of you, Kiz. I liked Adrian, but I like Dimitri better." Great. He was going to give me one of those speeches. At least he didn't know the real reason as to why Adrian and I got a divorce, although I highly suspected he knew… And if my father knew, he kept his mouth shut. "You make me feel old, though. This is my second time walking you down the aisle. It damn well better be your last."

"That's because you are old, old man," I responded with a smile and light laughter. He grimaced as I said old man, which made me laugh even more. "And it will be the last, Baba, I promise you that." And it would be. Dimitri was mine and I was his; anything else was unthinkable. He pulled out of our hug and locked arms together before he lead me out of the little room and down behind the doors. I wasn't familiar with the church, but I had sort of left that all to Dimitri. Religion wasn't really my thing.

The music was already playing by the time Abe and I got there, which meant that my time would be soon. Lissa was the only one left, along with Christian, who was Dimitri's best man. We mingled for a few seconds before the music signaled for them to go, which left Abe and I standing there. It felt like hours, but I knew that only mere seconds had passed before my tone started playing – the wedding march. I wanted to get rid of it, but Lissa had insisted. With one deep breath, I gave one last look at my father and we went through the doors.

All I could focus on where the people standing up. There were so many people! But when I heard my father mutter 'don't look at them', I didn't look at them. Instead, I let my eyes drift up to the man waiting at the altar – and I had to force myself to stay grounded and not run to him. He looked beautiful! The thing that made it even more special was the fact that Dimitri wasn't wearing a tux; he was actually wearing his formal police uniform, with the hat and all the shiny badges. I had brought that up by accident – but he fell in love with the idea as much as I had.

At long last, I finally reached the end of aisle, and found myself at the altar. My father kissed my cheek and passed me off to Dimitri's waiting hands, which I accepted without a problem. Once his hand touched mine, the unsettling fears in my stomach all but disappeared. It was right at that moment that Sydney's words rang true in my head. He was smiling at me with that dazzlingly smile of his, and his formal police uniform made him even look sexier than I thought was possible. Instead of a forced smile, it fell naturally on my lips. And strangely enough, unlike most brides, I didn't feel any tears. I was radiating with happiness and my past events didn't matter. The priest kept on talking, but I wasn't really focusing on his words – I was focusing on Dimitri instead, and even though we said nothing, our eyes spoke legions.

"Dimitri Belikov, will you have Rosemarie Hathaway to be your wife, to live together as friend and mate? Will you love her as a person, respect her as an equal, sharing joy as well as sorrow, and triumph as well as defeat and keep her, and keep him beside you as long as you both shall live?"

"I will." There wasn't a single amount of hesitation in his voice. I bit the bottom of my lip, because it was at this point, the tears were starting to come out of the corner of my eyes. The priest turned to me, and I gripped Dimitri's hand harder, and he gave me a small squeeze in return.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, will you have Dimitri Belikov to be your husband, to live together as friend and mate? Will you love him as a person, respect him as an equal, sharing joy as well as sorrow, and triumph as well as defeat. And keep him beside you as long as you both shall live?"

"I will."

The priest led us into our vows, which were incredibly short and two the point. We had decided that writing long vows wasn't our style, and that by making it short, it would remind us that life was short, so we needed to live it to the best of our ability. After the vows, it was the exchanging of rings – and that's when I noticed how badly my hands were shaking.

"I give you this ring, as I give you myself, with love and affection. Wear it in peace always." Dimitri slid the wedding ring onto my hand, and my hand suddenly felt ten pounds heavier. Everyone had known that Dimitri and I had been engaged, but I hadn't worn a ring, simply because I didn't feel the need to show everyone that Dimitri was mine – they just knew. On top of that, I had told Dimitri I didn't feel comfortable wearing a ring on my hand until we were officially married, to which he understood. But my God, that ring was gorgeous.

I took his ring, a simple gold band, and slid it onto his ring finger as well. "I give you this ring, as I give you myself, with love and affection. Wear it in peace always," I repeated the words, but I couldn't help comparing on as to how different this wedding was as compared to the one I had with Adrian. With Adrian, it had been pretty highly religious – simply because we didn't exactly know any better, and on top of that, we didn't care._ No, stop with the comparisons. It doesn't matter now._

And it didn't.

The priest said a few more things – something about unity or being one forever – and finally, it was time for the long awaited moment. That dammed kiss that everyone made a big deal about. I knew that Christian was going to try and get me back, because I had wolf-whistled at him and Lissa when they got married.

"Dimitri, you may now kiss your Bride."

His warm hands left mine and cupped my chin. Our eyes stayed locked together, and he finally closed the distance between the two of us. His lips were warm and smooth against mine, like they always were – but there was something different, which probably had to do the fact that we were now married. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me closer, to which I responded by wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He lifted me off my feet, and I smiled against his lips.

At that moment, it was nothing but the two of us in that entire room. The kiss was increasing at a fast pace, and I felt his tongue graze against my lower lip, to which I denied entrance this time, knowing that I was teasing him. It was only when I heard someone wolf-whistling and screaming, "Yeah, Rosie, go get that big boy!" did I pull away with a furious blush. Dimitri and I still stayed in our locked position, and laughter flirted through the room, followed by a smack and a loud 'Ow!' I would have to thank my best friend later on.

The priest cleared his throat. "It is now my privilege to introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Dimitri Belikov!"

Cheers exploded throughout the room, and it was at this time that I decided to look at the crowd. My mother along with Olena were radiantly smiling, with tears gleaming in their eyes. My father looked proud, and behind him was Adrian. Oh, God, Adrian. He had a happy smile on his face as we locked eyes. Things were okay – we were okay. His hand rested on Jill's swollen stomach, and I saw Jill smile at me. I made a mental note to talk with the two of them later. Sydney and Lissa were both cooing Sophia, who was starting to make a fuss. At this point, we were supposed to walk out, the two of us, hand in hand. But it didn't feel right with just the two of us.

I let go of Dimitri's grasp and made my way over to my fussing daughter, who was not enjoying the little attention she was getting. With a smile, I picked her up and placed her against my waist, propping her up. That felt a lot better, having her at my side. I moved back towards Dimitri, who smiled as he wrapped an arm around the free side of my waist, pulling us closer to him. This was how it should be – the two of us, together as one, happy family.

We pushed through the doors and out into the back of the church, which lead us to a small little lake with a beautiful gazebo. Dimitri and I had decided we were going to wait half an hour before we made our way to the reception, since that allowed us time to gather our thoughts and everyone else to calm the hell down. Sophia had stopped fussing, to which I was glad for. The seats were clean in the gazebo, and we took a seat. Dimitri wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I put Sophia on my lap, who was keeping herself entertained by bouncing happily.

"You look good in your formal police outfit, Mr. Belikov. I think you should wear it more often," I responded with a slightly sultry tone. Now that it was the two of us, I was aching to get him out of those clothes and into our hotel room, but I knew I had to wait a couple more hours. The wait was almost killing me.

"I'm having a hard time not tearing that dress off you as well, Mrs. Belikov. What do you say we just skip the reception and head straight to the hotel room?" Dimitri purred and I felt my body shiver. Our gazes locked and I saw the smile – and lust – in his eyes, but I swatted him playfully with my free arm.

"You're going to have to be a good boy and wait, Detective." He pressed his lips to my forehead and made his way down to my cheek, before stopping at the corner of my lips. I giggled as his eyelashes and lips brushed against my skin, to which Sophia responded by clapping her hands together.

"I'm glad you're mine, Roza. I'm glad we're married and I'm glad we have our beautiful Sophia, who looks so much like you." I was going to argue, but his lips found mine and all words of a potential argument were long gone. The kiss was short and chaste, but it was perfect for the moment. He pulled away from me and turned his attention to our daughter. "Right, _Sofiya_?"

Sophia didn't know a single word of Russian, but she responded to her name, regardless of the language, quite well. She giggled happily as continued bouncing up and down on my lap, and Dimitri played with her hair. I titled my head to the side as I watched the daughter and father bound, thinking about how ironic the situation almost was. Five years ago, I would have said I would have never been in this position – I would have said that being a mother was not an option for me … but that all changed once I met Dimitri.

Mistakes in my life were unavoidable, I knew that. I knew that I put my life on the line every day for the city I cared about, as did my husband. I knew that I needed to live my life like I was going to die tomorrow, which held a very real possibility. At this point in my life, I knew that I was right where I wanted to be. Nothing was going to change that.

"I love you, Mr. Belikov," I said as I twirled a strand of Sophia's hair, a wide grin on my face.

"And I love you, Mrs. Belikov."

**end.**

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><p><strong>Okay, wow, I've never ever finished a chapter story. I'm seriously proud of myself. :D But don't you fret yet, because I'm not willing to let this baby go! Not yet, at least. As I have mentioned earlier, I will be doing 'outtakes' of things in this story that were mentioned, but never actually written about. So far, I have: Christian's secret, Rose and Dimitri's first night together, Adrian's realization, the proposal and the birth. If you have any more you would like me to write about, just shoot me a PM and I will be more than happy to do it. However, they will <em>not<em> be added onto this story, but rather, a new story. It's a way to keep myself organized. The working title for it is _If It Means A Lot To You_, and is subject to change. There's a good chance I will be posting an AN once the first part is up. Keep an eye out for that, if you're curious about those things. ;D**

**And since I have no shame, I'm going to shamelessly promote. If you liked this story, I would highly recommend my new story, _Prayer For The Refugee_, which I will be posting tonight. It's gonna be pretty awesome. (: Lastly, I have one more thing to say: thank you so much for your kind words, favourties, alerts and reviews, for that was seriously the motivation to keep this story going. I love you! (:**


	26. Posted!

_Oh look at that, this is an AN. But it's nothing bad ... well, obviously not, considering how the story is over. BUT WHAT DID I SAY? I did say that I would post a little AN when I posted the series of oneshot, set during the time-frame of this story. AND ALAS, that story is up! It's called **If It Means A Lot To You,** and the first one is Christian's secret. If you have any ideas of something for that 'story', please feel free to PM me with your ideas and I will get them up as soon as I can. Thank you all again for reading this story! It means a lot to me. (You see what I did there? :D)_


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